“So you cheated on me. Again.”

When Jinki asks the question, he says it like a statement because he already knows the answer. There are no secrets between them, not anymore, or at least he didn’t think so. Taemin has laid himself bare there is nowhere else to turn.

What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, Taemin thinks to himself, deciding to keep silent for a few minutes. His silky dark hair has gotten longer in the past few months, falling softly over his eyes before he brushes them carefully behind his ears. He looks like a delicate doll when he turns to face Jinki, pink lips sealed and bright eyes focused on only him. The elder man returns the gaze with those unwavering eyes of his, brows furrowed and almond eyes dark.

When their gazes meet, they glue together, as if stopping time. At that exact same moment Jinki feels as if something sharp is stabbing at his chest, leaving behind an aching feeling that burns like an open wound and refuses to go away. Jinki nearly presses his hand against the throbbing area to confirm whether or not the pain is a physical or emotional one, just in case there really is an injury there, but he’s not stupid; he knows exactly why he is hurting.

Taemin knows it too, familiar only because this is now the third instance that he has seen this type of profound emotion swimming in his boyfriend’s eyes. In his opinion, those few split seconds of vulnerability is the only time that Jinki’s honest feelings for the younger man surface the most—excluding, of course, the many impassioned nights that they had shared together in bed. He supposes he would miss those occurrences the most, his lower body still sore from the previous night.

And as usual, the pain in his heart does not make Jinki cry, not unlike the first two times his boyfriend kissed and told, when Taemin finally opens his full lips to speak―“I am,” he responds straightforwardly, getting straight to the point. Again his long fingers sift through his silky locks of hair in an another attempt to sweep them away from his gorgeous face, but the dark wisps drift right back into place, feathery bangs finely brushing against the tops of his thick eyelashes and the apples of his smooth cheeks.

Jinki woefully takes note that Taemin had not once looked more impishly stunning than ever before then in that very second. And as always, Jinki is not the only one that takes notice. They are seated next to the window in the warm café, the bright sunlight filtering through the clear glass and giving their table an ethereal glow. People both inside and outside the place stare at Taemin as if he were a piece of artwork, and in Jinki’s opinion, he actually was—Taemin had a kind of breathtaking loveliness about him that left you speechless, one whose faults were nearly invisible to the human eye. But of course, Jinki saw them, he always has, but he had loved Taemin anyway.

He honestly hadn’t been prepared to have his love spat back in his face like this.

“This is the third time,” Jinki drops another question, and yet again the words escape as a statement, simply falling from the elder’s mouth like a silent bomb. He knows the answer, they both do, but he feels almost obliged to ask anyway, as if he was following the due process that would lead up to the glaringly obvious end. He feels as though he is wasting time and Taemin feels it too; the younger wants it this way though, hoping to soak up as much of these last few moments together as possible, so he pretends to ponder his answer for a while even though his reply is already poised on his tongue.

He lets Jinki’s words hang over their heads like guillotine for another few beats before finally replying, “It is.”

Taemin expects it―feels it―before it comes, but still he absolutely loathes how much it hurts anyway when Jinki only sighs with resignation. Taemin hates how easily Jinki gives up on him, how easily he gives up on them. Once upon a time he honestly, truly wanted Jinki to be the one; but that was a long story, full of memories Taemin convinced himself that he hated thinking about—only because they weakened him, bringing about burning tears that made him feel like a small child.

“So I guess this is where we… end,” Jinki finally states, rather plainly. The words are foreign on his lips, and come as a sort of surprise to him. Taemin has been by his side for nearly seven years, four of which they’d been in an intimate relationship. He still can’t believe that this is how they end all that time spent together, in the claws of infidelity.

Knowing that this day would come, Taemin releases a small smile as something like a weight lifted off his chest and replaced itself with a hollow ache. He had realized that his relationship with Jinki needed to end this way after the first time he cheated, no matter how much denial he had been in at the time. That time he had cheated on purpose; all Taemin had wanted out of it was for Jinki to scream, to yell, to shout at him when he found out—he wanted Jinki to grip his shoulders so hard that he bruised, smothering him in kisses and tell him that Taemin was his and only his, how dare he let someone else touch him? But when that didn’t happen the first, second, and now not even the third time around, Taemin knew that what they had was finished. He knew that Jinki loved him but that love was not nearly enough, and though it hurt, Taemin had given himself enough time to finally accept it.

It would take Jinki some time to heal—after all, Taemin was prepared while he was not—and as Jinki walked Taemin home, the younger could see the growing sense of loss overcoming the elder the closer they got to the apartment; when they pause at the door, halfway open as Taemin steps inside, Jinki stays just beyond the frame, his expression dazed. When he looks over his shoulder back at his ex-boyfriend, Taemin is suddenly filled with a need to fill himself with memories of Jinki in these last few dregs of their relationship. He could see the remnants of their love dwindling away with the daylight as night overtook the darkening sky.

Somewhere in his mind Taemin understood that if he just asks, Jinki would him senseless, even after everything he had confessed to—these events, full of lust and passive aggressive anger, transcended the realm of love. So he opens his mouth, plush lips barely forming words before Jinki’s eyes flash with understanding. They’d always been likeminded and Taemin feels over the moon to be proven right when Jinki shoves him against the wall, dragging their lips harshly against each other as the door slams shut loudly behind them.

Someone is banging at his door at two in the morning and Jonghyun knows exactly who it is.

“Onew,” Jonghyun nearly hisses when he opens it, “the neighbors will complain and make the landlady to kick me out!”

Jinki simply pushes past the younger man, his expression blank. His lips are swollen and clothes disheveled; there are hickeys on his neck and probably more under his clothes, so Jonghyun knows exactly where he came from. Jonghyun gives the elder a concerned look, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Onew, what’s wrong?” he asks after a few minutes, but when he’s met with silence he tries again. “Jinki?”

“We broke up,” the elder finally responds, biting his lower lip. The words hit the shorter man like a kick to the stomach, leaving him feeling breathless, moments away from doubling over from the weight of revelation. The fact that Jinki and Taemin broke up was hard to process­―the idea of it just seemed so unrealistic. Jonghyun still remembered introducing the two of them in college, Taemin in his final year of high school. Even after the years flew by like they have, he could still accurately recall those nights when Taemin visited Jinki at their dorm room, and how Jonghyun would tactfully leave them alone every time.

The two of them were inseparable for the past seven years, and now… they were through.

Jinki had already escaped to Jonghyun’s bed when the younger carefully made his way to his room. Tears welled in his own eyes when he heard his best friend’s quiet sobs, and Jonghyun found himself crying with him, crawling into bed next to the older man and embracing him tightly, as if holding him together. The guilt burned like acid in his stomach, and now more than ever, Jonghyun wished with all his heart that had not introduced the two all those years ago.

Jinki was a professional—he could handle himself at work today, he knew he could, or at least that was what he told Jonghyun. What he did not expect was the searing pain that tore through his chest at the sight of Taemin, despite the fact that he had been with him only a few hours ago. What made the entire experience worse was how his ex-boyfriend seemed to be completely unfazed by their breakup, despite the fact that he was limping considerably after taking Jinki dry the previous night.

The chef decided to ignore the waiter completely, allowing himself to get lost in the heat of the kitchen and the smell of spices as he gave orders. He occasionally barked at the employees for doing something wrong and probably made the busboy cry only an hour into work but this plan seemed to be working rather well, except in those few minutes where Taemin would stand idly in the kitchen as he waited for the serving. It was like he did it on purpose, gauging Jinki’s every minute reaction with those pretty eyes of his, and Jinki could feel himself getting angrier the more he thought about Taemin and his stupid stare.

The cheating was something new and had started only earlier this year—Taemin had never revealed with whom and Jinki could not care less; it was the fact that Taemin had been unfaithful in the first place that drove him over the edge. Although he was a rather forgiving person, three times was one too many. At first Jinki had hoped it was just a phase because after all, they had a large so Jinki tried especially hard to be understanding. But the thing was that Taemin had never done anything like this in the four years that they were dating. Even before they were anything ‘official’ they would sleep together exclusively, playing it off as casual if anything even though they both hid feelings for each other. Jinki still remembered feeling so dumb when Taemin accidentally confessed one night, stuttering out the words as they panted heavily in the dark room, and how happy the younger had been when Jinki responded positively.

The source of the problem, that Taemin revealed last night, was that Jinki has always had a lot of trouble presenting how he truly felt. He was the type that held back out of fear that his feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated and was afraid that his heart would get trampled on, so he never crossed the line until someone else did it for him first. But Taemin had seemed to understand that about him—or at least, that was what Jinki used to think—and the older man had assumed that they would last for… well, forever.

And yet.

Suddenly, cold, slender fingers tenderly wrapped around Jinki’s bicep, jolting him from his thoughts and bringing him back to kitchen where he was currently slicing vegetables. The familiar touch gave away who it was immediately and Jinki’s heart slammed against his ribcage, nearly choking him as he recoiled from the contact. He chanced a glance over his shoulder to confirm that it was, in fact, Taemin, who was now smiling at him wistfully.

“Don’t touch me,” Jinki growled carefully, voice as low and even as he could get it without betraying his discomfort. Even against Jinki’s hostility, Taemin’s level expression revealed nothing—he was a cold beauty when he wanted to be, but Jinki has been with him long enough to know that he was anything but. Taemin’s eyes always revealed his real feelings; he couldn’t lie to save his life and it was that honestly that had Jinki falling for him in the first place. Now he wasn’t sure what it made him feel.

“Even though we broke up, you are still so attractive when you’re angry,” the younger feels the need to comment, and a shiver travels down Jinki’s spine when Taemin’s hands press softly against his lower back. Jinki hated this unconscious control the younger man had over him, and for a few beats Jinki stood frozen, torn between shoving Taemin away and begging to get back together. But as always, he did neither of them; this was what Taemin had always complained about―that Jinki never did anything to show his true feelings or put himself out there, and it always made Taemin feel insecure, as if he was the only one in love, that one day Jinki would leave him stranded and grasping at straws.

Funny how Jinki ended up with straws instead.

Luckily Jonghyun comes in to save him from having to say something in response, but not before Jinki almost sweat through his clothes. “Taemin, customers are waiting for their orders,” the shortest reminds, and the waiter pulls away from Jinki reluctantly before heading out. Jonghyun shoots his best friend another worried glance, well aware that the elder had not slept a wink last night. Jinki looked physically exhausted and was ten times worse emotionally than his haggard appearance gave away.

After a few moments of watching the chef attempt to continue working with shaky hands, the manager speaks again. “You need a break,” he recommends, pulling Jinki away from the cutting board. “Go buy yourself some tea and relax for an hour or so. Better yet, don’t come back.” He was saying it as if it were a suggestion but his tone made it clear that it was anything but; Jinki may be his hyung, but at work Jonghyun was still his boss.

Jonghyun also decides not to remind Jinki that the idol Key would be coming in today; the elder didn’t need another stressor weighing him down. Since the moment Jonghyun had first brought it up last week, it was clear that Jinki was against it right from the start. Luckily, he was an agreeable person by nature so the chef never voiced his infuriation over the idea despite the distaste he felt; however, Jonghyun knew that his best friend was highly volatile at the moment, prone to sudden bursts of hostility if triggered, and would probably stay that way for a while if the crying busboy was anything to go by. The younger would rather not risk a confrontation between the chef and the idol right now if he could help it.

On the other hand there was another seemingly simpler solution to the problem, like cutting Taemin loose, but Jonghyun could not afford to fire Taemin either, both due to their long friendship and the fact that many of their customers came especially to meet and greet the beautiful waiter. The short man sighed inwardly at his hard life—things were already complicated enough without having to watch his ex-boyfriend’s diva brother, but he has owed Minho big for a long time now and this seemed to be the only solution to finally repay his debt.

To Jonghyun’s relief, Jinki decides not to protest the order; in fact, tea sounded really good right about now. The manager had half a mind to drop everything and join his best friend, but he had other responsibilities that he could not exactly abandon as much as he would like to.

After changing into his casualwear, the chef heads towards the door, but before he could even open them they burst open, and a shoulder crashes into his chest. The collision catches Jinki by surprise, almost as much as the sweet smell of perfume—a women’s brand, maybe?—that wafted from the person on the floor. The well-dressed man in front of him glared at him with irritation—at first Jinki was only half-sure that it was a man, but the flat chest, broad shoulders, and angular jaw gave the other away—but the emotion was rapidly dropped into favor of staring at Jinki.

The chef was flattered by how the stranger checked him out so obviously; this person was just Jinki’s type, if Taemin was anything to go by, what with his long limbs and pretty face. However, while Taemin was charming in the kind of way that catches you off-guard, all round curves and soft edges, this stranger was magnetic, with sharp, flawless features that demanded your attention.

“I, um, h-hi,” the other manages to stutter, which is cute; Taemin is rarely flustered, and when he is, he just laughs awkwardly. A taller man appears in front of him all of a sudden and it takes Jinki a few moments, but Jinki is sure that he recognizes him. Minho? he recalls. He dated Jonghyun a while back, but why is he…?

“I believe we’ve met before? I’m Choi Minho, and this is my—” Minho starts to introduce, but his companion steps in for himself, smiling wide and offering a bow.

“Kim Kibum, but people call me Key. You may have heard about me?”

Oh—the chef is not sure if he said the word aloud or not, but it does not matter—so this was the spoiled idol who decided to fulfill his community service in Jinki’s professional workplace. The elder man had worked doggedly to become a chef, earning this position in Jonghyun’s restaurant legitimately after years of honing in on his skills and through hard labor and effort. It was insulting how his best friend could let a complete amateur enter the establishment as an assistant chef, even if he owed his ex-boyfriend a favor. Jinki had more than a few words he had to say about the entire situation, even though originally he planned not to voice them, but he’s been on a short fuse all morning.

“Yes, I have heard of you actually, and if you think it’s okay that you can just waltz into my kitchen completely unannounced—”

“ONEW!” Jonghyun all but yells, suddenly appearing and practically tackling Jinki from behind; he can feel his best friend’s hot breath in his ear as he hisses, “Why don’t you go get that tea I told you to buy? You’re overworked and stressed, but you know damn well why he needs to be here, so please―just go.”

The elder understands the implications of those words too well, but he just—“What’s going on over here? Onew, Jonghyun-hyung, the customers are being disturbed,” Taemin questions, walking over to where the commotion is happening at the doorway. Jinki cringes at the sound of the waiter’s voice; he had completely forgotten about him.  “Ah, why if it isn’t Minho-hyung! Then the gentleman next to you must be the famous Ke—”

Afraid that Taemin might try to talk to him again by pulling him into the conversation, Jinki decides to take heed of his best friend’s words and bail. “I’m leaving,” he announces abruptly, twisting out of Jonghyun’s grip and pushing the double doors wide open as he escapes outside. The sudden rush of cold air rushing past him and clears his mind, making him realize that even if it was for a few minutes, he actually managed to forget about Taemin. The elder man could not get the waiter out of his head all night and a good part of the morning, but he resentment towards the diva that he’ll be working with had completely pushed the waiter out of his mind.

An image of Key suddenly appears in his thoughts, the idol’s high contrast features and regal appearance already engraved in Jinki’s head. He wondered for a beat if it really would be so bad to work with him. Maybe Key had a talent for cooking beyond Jinki’s wildest dreams?

The fire in the kitchen the next morning effectively smothers that little ray of hope.