"YiFan shut the hell up. ZiFan will wake up." ZiTao tried to shush his already mad husband but the older gripped the steering wheel tighter and pressed down on the gas pedal, already going twenty over the speed limit.

They were on they're way back from a business dinner, YiFan's company was holding. They had just picked up ZiFan from his uncle's house and now YiFan was accusing of ZiTao of cheating on him with one of his co-workers. 

He saw his husband, kissing his co-worker and the other was grinding on ZiTao, ready to take him to his place and have his way with the younger. YiFan stepped in and started to fight with his co-worker, resulting his boss to put YiFan and the worker on an absence until they have settled everything.

"You want me to shut the hell up?! Then why were you cheating on me with that ?!"

"I wasn't cheating! YiFan, he forced himself on me. What was I supposed to do?" Tears started to form in the younger's eyes as this was the first time that his husband has accused him of such a horrendous thing. 

"You could tell him that you're my husband and that you have a child!" YiFan was starting to see red as the scene of his once truthful husband making out with his co-worker.

"Do you not think I did?! He still forced himself!"

"Bull ZiTao!"

"YiFan, I love you and only you!"  YiFan pressed down on the gas pedal again and started to accelerate faster. "YiFan stop, your scaring me." ZiTao begged his husband but he was deaf to the older's ears. 

"You want me to stop?" He looked at ZiTao, who was grabbing onto his seat like his life depended on it and nodded his head. "Then I'll stop!" 

YiFan pressed on the brake pedal, making an abrupt stop but the car started to skid on the wet road. He tried to control the car but once he saw lights coming from the other side, he knew that it was over. 

~*~

Covering his eyes, he cursed himself countless times for not protecting him. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at the other side of the bed, hoping that he would see ZiTao sleeping on the other side, but yet he saw nothing. Just the pillow he holds onto at nights and his husband's favorite blanket.

He wanted his husband back and help him raise their five year old son, ZiFan, but that wasn't the case. The case was that he will never see ZiTao again just because of a stupid argument that lead into a terrible accident. 

He took ZiTao's blanket, un folded it, and laid it out, neatly, like he always did when the younger would come home from work and just wanted to plop on the bed, and sleep. 

He went into the bathroom, looking in the mirror, he saw the hideous scars from the accident. One on his collarbone that reached to his jaw line, another was a small scar on his cheek, and a bandage on his nose, covering the stitches from his surgery. He had surgery on his left side, his back, and his right collarbone. 

He walked into their closet, turning on the light and looked at ZiTao's side that was still full. He didn't have the heart to throw away his husband's belongings because he always thought that ZiTao would return to them. 

 

He took ZiTao's favorite sweater, bringing it up to his nose and inhaling the sweet vanilla scent that was still lingering. He walked back to his bed on shaky legs, sat down and took a shaky breath before tears started to fall down his face again. 

"Daddy," YiFan took his face out of the sweater and saw an exact replica of ZiTao. 

 

"Come here, baby." ZiFan walked to the bed then was lifted by his dad before the older put him in his lap. 

ZiFan looked at his mom's sweater and tears started to fall from his eyes. "When is mommy coming home?"

YiFan gave him a broken smile and kissed ZiFan's nose and the corner of his bottom lip, where scars from the accident still reside. 

 

"Soon," he didn't have the heart to tell his son that he was the cause of the accident. He didn't have the heart to tell his son that he was the cause of his husband's death.

"When is soon?"

"I don't know baby."

 

ZiFan wrapped his arms around his father's neck and tears started to fall down his face rapidly. "Mommy isn't coming back, is he?" 

 

YiFan wrapped his arms around his son's tiny body and cried with his son. "I'm sorry," was all he could croak out before he cried his heart out. 

"I miss him so much daddy." YiFan tightened his grip on ZiFan and kissed the top of his son's head. 

"I miss him too." He looked over his son's head and saw his husband standing at the doorway with a smile on his face but his body glowing a bright color. 

Tears started to form in his eyes when he saw him disappearing and knew that he would never see the person that once brought him happiness in his life. 

He looked at ZiFan, who still had tears leaving his eyes. He wiped away the tears and kissed his son's forehead. 

"I love you daddy," ZiFan tightened his grip around his dad's neck and started to cry once again. YiFan kissed ZiFan's temple, the boy reminding him of how ZiTao used to comfort him. 

"I'm sorry," was all he could say.