Age of 7

- Is there nothing that we can do, doctor? - my mother asked, worried. I just wanted to speak, say that I'm alright, so that she can calm down, but every time I opened up my mouth no sound would get out. And I don't know why. I just know that I was in the car with dad, and suddenly... Argh, I can't remember. Dad? Oh right, where is he?

- We'll just have to wait. I'm sure that it's due to the scare, in two or three days she'll be able to speak again - oh, so I was scared and lost my voice because of it. That explains everything. I got up from the hospital bed and I noticed I had some bandages on my arms and a constant buzz in my head.

- Thank God. Sweetie, are you alright? Does it hurt you anywhere? - my mother asked. Once again, I opened my mouth, but the only thing that came out of it was silence. I tried to use my hands to explain that I was alright, but mom was struggling to understand what I was trying to say. Seeing this problems, the doctor gave me his notebook and pen. I gave him a grateful look, and started to write on my little handwriting.

"I'm fine omma, you don't have to worry. I'm just a little dizzy."

- You should rest, Hyeri. I'll go get something to eat, what do you want? - my mother asked me. Once again, the room was silent as I wrote.

"I'll eat whatever you bring. I heard what the doctor said, don't be afraid.
Doctors always know what they're doing.", and smiled.

She nodded and was to turn her back to go on her way, when I started to kick the air to try catch her attention. She turned to me and I showed the notebook with something new written on it.

"Omma, where's appa?"

That's when she came to me, with tears in her eyes, and hugged me with all her force.

- Everything's gonna be alright, sweetheart. Omma promises you. Everything's gonna be alright - she cried, while petting my hair. She started to say another bunch of things, and I was only startled to what she told me.

And that's how I found why I lost my voice and that I'll never ever see dad again.

Age of 12

It turned out that the doctor wasn't right, and I never got my voice back. Two or three days turned out to be two or three months, and right now it's been five years since I lost it, and still counting. My life became a lot difficult. I didn't learn sign language, it was a lot difficult and I couldn't communicate well, so I just sticked to write on my notebooks and sketchbooks whenever I wanted to say something. Elementary school was hard because the kids kept their distance and didn't want to play with me, and on middle school some of them even insulted me, but I didn't let it get to me.

Sometimes, if I put a lot of will in that, I could almost emit a sound, but it was always the sound of air going out of my mouth. I ended up surrendering and never tried to talk again. It was of no use. I couldn't approach people, and people didn't want to approach a little girl who couldn't speak. My best friends were my books, my movies, series and my music, and life was calm and steady in that way.

Until the day he came into my life.

At the not so beautiful age of 12, something strange happened in my monotone life. I was finally at home after coming from school, and I saw a bunch of pick-up trucks in front of the neighbour house. The old lady that lived next door had gone to a retirement home, and now I guess I have new neighbours. For what I could see, it was a young couple that was moving in. After a minute of observation a kid, who looked the same age as me, saw me and our eyes met for a moment. Then he gave me a warm smile and waved.

- Hi! How are you neighbour? - he screamed. My cheeks flushed and I ran home. - Ah, I scared her... - I heard him saying with a sad tone. I couldn't believe, someone talked to me. I wasn't scared, I just... Okay, I was really scared.

- Namjoon-ah, who are you talking to? - I heard his mother ask.

- The girl next door, but I think I scared her...

- Nammie, what have I told you? You must be calmer if you want to make friends.

- But omma! That's just the way I am!

- That's what you get for being so loud! - she laughed. - Come on, go carry your toys to your room.

- Arasseo...

That was the first time that someone, besides my mom, talked to me since that accident.

Age of 16

Four years had passed since that day and I never got to talk to him. I mean, I would see him sometimes when I was coming back from school, but everytime he turned up to me to talk, I ran home like a scaredy cat. What a dumb thing to do to the only person who tried to approach me. But after one or two weeks of tries, he gave up and forgot me, as it would be normal. But I fantasized with him. From my room I could see his, and the roofs under our windows were almost together, with just a gap of about 10 to 15cm. I watched him everyday, hiding behind my curtains, and imagined how would it be if we were actually friends, if I could speak. There was a time when I was almost caught, but thankfully I hid fast.

During the day, while I was writing or reading as usual, I watched him as he and his friends were playing in his room. Ah, how I wanted to be like them and do the same, instead of living a fictional life and romance through the characters of my books. I already knew their names: the good looking one was Seokjin, the one who's very funny was Hoseok, the weird one was Taehyung, the really pale guy with a funny laugh was Yoongi, the youngest of them all was Jungkook, the short but toned guy was Jimin, and then was he. Namjoon. How I would love to feel my tongue curl to say his name. But that would never happen. I would never play with them, I would never be friends with them, and I would never talk to them. All I could do was wondering how it would be, but I don't even have a voice in my dreams.

We grew up, puberty took the worst of me and now I was a 'lady', as my mom says. But to me I'm still the short girl I always was, and he was taller, and handsome. Now my chances to talk to him had lowered to -10000%.

One night, one fateful spring night, I was gazing the stars through the open window of my room while I had the stereo playing some calm music, and he saw me. I couldn't really hide, since he was looking at me for at least two minutes. "What do I do now?", I thought, panicked, but I just saw him smiling while he turned his back and disappeared from my sight. I sighed in relief, but then I remembered. That smile, it was so warm as it was on that first time when he was a little boy and screamed a big 'hi'. My heart melt a little while thinking of it, and then he was back just as suddenly as he was gone, but with something in his hand.

"Hi! How are you, neighbour? Nice music, by the way :)"

He held up a sketchbook with the very same first words that he told me that day, four years ago. Oh, my body was rushing with happiness, finally I could talk to him. I smiled and searched through my desk to find one of my sketchbooks, and fastly answer:

"Hello. I'm fine and you, neighbour?"

I held up my notebook to him and smiled like I never smiled before.

"I'm fine too. It's good to finally talk to you. All those years I've been thinking that I scared you. >.<"

">.< I'm sorry. It's just that I am very shy..."

"What's your name, pretty neighbour?"

Oh gosh, he called me pretty. I felt my blood rush to my cheeks.

"Hyeri. My name is Park Hye Ri. And yours? :D"

"Oh, annyeong Hyeri-ssi. Mine's Namjoon. So tell me, what do you like to do?"

We talked through hours into that night, and I never felt so full, so happy... I discovered that starting this year we would go to the same highschool, he told me stories about his friends, I told him about my books, we shared our music tastes, and I was so happy that I could die on that moment.

"Listen (okay, it's more like read kkk), I know that it's too sudden, but can you give me your phone number? ;)"

Right... A phone number... I don't even have a phone, let alone a number. Why? What's the point of a mute girl to have a phone if she can't talk?

"I don't really have a phone, Namjoon..."

"Are you dumping me just after some hours? :( kkkkk"

Wha-whaaat? I panicked and started to waving my hands as a way to say "there's no way in hell that I would do that", and wrote in a trembling handwrite:

"Aniyo! Let's be here, on our windows, everyday after school, how does it sound to you?"

I saw him laugh and in my head I imagined how would it sound. It would be beautiful.

"Sounds perfect! Goodnight, phone-less girl."

I waved him goodbye and closed the window and the curtains. That was the happiest day I've ever had in my whole life. I think this was when I fell in love with him. My secret and silent love. That night, all I could dream about was how we talked for hours, slept and kept meeting on our small roofs with just a gap of 10-15cm, and how we would be happy living in that way. Finally, a really long chapter of a lonely life was closed and I'm opening a shiny new one. Namjoon opened up the happy chapter of my life. Or at least I thought it was that...

Age of 18 - Present

The next two years were like a bliss to me. Every night we would talk, or would send little notes if we couldn't be at the appointed time. We would celebrate each other's birthday with little cupcakes, we opened our windows and listened to music together, sometimes I would even say hi to his friends through my window and they always joked for us to "get a room". When we met in the school's hallways, we would always gaze at each other and smile, but never actually talk. I even managed to make a few friends because I was a little more outgoing than before. He turned me this way and I was thankful.

I thought that I could live forever that way. Oh boy, I was so wrong.

"Riri, can I ask you a question?"

He came up with that cute nickname because it was an hassle to write Hyeri. Such a lazy ...

"Sure, go ahead! What troubles you?"

"Well... When a boy likes a girl... I mean... What is the best way to tell her? Since you're a girl, and all..."

That question caught me off-guard. What does he mean with that?

"I don't know. Maybe just be straightforward in a way that you won't scare her. Is little Nammie in love? kkkk"

He didn't answer my question. He just wrote:

"So, like this?"

Like this? Puzzled, I continued to look at him while he dropped his notebook and opened up his window.

- Hyeri, I've liked you since we met and I can't take my eyes off of you - he said in his raspy voice, that I love and always bewitch me. I can't believe on what he's saying. Is this real? - You're really pretty and I really felt a connection when we started talking to eachother. Would you go out with me?

I nodded my head excited with little tears on my eyes. I was truly happy to hear that, it was a first for me. I opened my window and almost climbed it, ready to run to his embrace, but then I saw him holding up his notebook.

"Was it good? Do you think she'll like it if I say it that way? :D"

My heart fell and broke in thousands of tiny pieces... It was just a rehearsal? Of course it was, how could he be in love with me, a girl who he actually never talked to? I lowered my head, hiding my tears, while answering.

"It was perfect. I bet the lucky girl would love it! :')"

I hid my face behind the sketchbook while I was trying to clean my tears. I was so dumb, how could I possible fell for this?

"That's why you're my bestest friend :D I know I can always count on you. Goodnight my Riri :)"

Best friend-zoned... I was nothing more than a best friend, I messed up everything and tangled my feeling thinking it was love when it was nothing more than a mere friendship. I closed my curtains and switched off the lights in my room as I prepared to cry until I could finally set off to the dream land.

OKAY GUYS, I'M SORRY IF THIS IS LAME AND ALL, but I decided to make this a two-shot.

I'll post it as soon as I finish it, and I wish I will have it done by Tuesday !
*cross-fingers with me, please. I hope inspiration hits me and I could write it fast, since I already know how it'll end*

Thank you SO SO SO SO SO much to CALAPanda, for being the first subscriber and upvoter of my twoshot.
May the K-Pop Gods always be in your favour T^T

Don't forget to comment, and upvote, and things. :33

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