I sat down on a chair that was next to a window and tried to peel my thoughts out of the delusions that my mind has been feeding me. Everyday, I would think of him. Just him. I didn’t know what its like to be attached to somebody and now, it was like reading on a stuck page, unable to turn, unable to let go.

I couldn’t stand up on my own now. My knees would internally crack and cry in pain if I would exert effort. My skin sagged on the arms and legs, making it wobbly every time I point something or simply shake it. My fingers were filled with lines and cracks, it stretches too if I get bored with life.

I stared at my reflection on the window. My rose-like cheeks that would blossom every time I laugh was now wilting, fading over time. The side of my eyes has small crinkles and the color of my lips was in a hue of light scarlet that would turn pale from time to time.

“Grandma!”

A small voice called and I twist my head around to check. My eyes softened at the sight of my grandchild, running towards me.

“What is it, kiddo?” I playfully ruffled his hair as the small boy gave me a glare. “Mom fixed my hair for almost ten minutes. Don’t you know how hard it was to sit quietly?”

The little boy angrily blamed me but I couldn’t help but pinch his chubby cheeks and beam at him.

“Your mom wanted to spend time with you,” he looked at me with his chocolate brown eyes and a smile played on his lips.

“You must be right, grandma,” he tiptoed with exerted force just to kiss my cheeks, “Thank you for telling me that.” I shook my head and lightly jabbed his forehead.

“Junyoung, you must want something from me, do you?” I pointed a finger at him, accusing him. He looked down and hurriedly shook his head but his smile didn’t fade.

“Come here,” I tapped the tiny chair beside me and he slowly dragged himself to sit down. “Do you believe in snowflakes and winter?” I asked the young boy next to me and he shook his head.

“I don’t, grandma. Nobody has seen it so why would they believe in it?”

I blinked in surprise. This boy was just a nine year old and yet, he spoke like an adult.

“What if I told you that they do exist?” I whispered this time, lowering my voice to avoid my daughter to hear me. He stared at me, trying to speculate with his eyes.

“Is there a story behind it?” My grandchild blinked as his voice was masked with excitement.

I nodded, placed my lips on my finger and motioned him to come closer.

“There was once a girl who believed in snowflakes and winter. She thought that it was a childish thing and decided to hide it in her heart,”—I pointed his chest and he laughed when I attempted to tickle him—“then she went to a cathedral, her favorite place, and stayed there for almost a few hours.”

“She loved the scenery and fell in love with its beauty,”—he leaned on the chair as I spotted him playing with his fingers—“then a boy with golden red hair stood in front of her.”

Then a small voice rang in my ears as I diverted my eyes at the black haired boy. “Was that the guardian of snow Mom was telling me about?” His voice tainted with curiosity and excite.

I placed a finger on my lips as he zips his mouth shut and looked at me with eager eyes.

"The girl curiously looked at the boy and almost suddenly, a crystal-like gem appeared in between them. The boy told her to touch it and encouraged her; the girl slowly reached her hand out and felt its icy exterior chill her skin.”

“Was that the snowflake?” Junyoung’s feet shook hurriedly as his eyes beamed in interest. I chuckled at his cute yet innocent action.

I nodded at him and he opened his mouth to ask again, “what is the meaning of exterior?” I hummed, trying to think of an answer.

“It is an outer side of a thing,” I cracked my brain open just to find an answer. Gosh, being old was never that easy. Luckily, Junyoung bobbed his head as a response.

“Where was I?” I placed a finger on the side of my head and scratched it.

“The snowflake,” Junyoung calmly answered, “grandma, you need to eat more vegetables.” He scolded me.

I shook my head and continued my story.

“Then she woke up in her room and thought that it was a dream but it wasn’t. The boy sat obediently on the floor and energetically smiled at her. He introduced himself as ‘Minseok’—”

“So, we’ll be using the name Minseok now as the boy’s name?” He asked me as I nodded gleefully.

“And told her that he was the guardian she has been reading but you know what the girl said?” He shook his head to a ‘no’, “she said that she doesn’t exist. That those guardians don’t exist.”

Junyoung gasped in shock as he looked at me. “What did Minseok do? Did he freeze her because he was mad?”

I chuckled at his innocent remark. “Just listen,” he quietly nodded and straightened his position.

“Minseok told her that nobody believed in him and started to disappear.” A gasp. “Solid ice and frost started to build up on the girl’s walls and she began to shiver madly. She took a step and another one until she appeared in front of him. She hugged Minseok and whispered the words ‘I do believe in you’”

Junyoung looked at me with a smile, “so Minseok didn’t die,” he exhaled slightly.

“What happened next?” Junyoung happily chirped as he stared at me, patiently waiting.

“Then, the girl started to tell people about Minseok and his powers. Minseok shot a light blue beam in the sky and snow fell down. Almost everyone went outside and were equally surprised by the sudden show,”

“Everyone believed in Minseok but he didn’t care for he already fell in love with the girl and she was the only thing he needed. Then on one night, he vanished like smoke and the girl tried to find him. Guess where he was.”

Junyoung looked up as he playfully made faces, “the cathedral?” I beamed at him and continued. He clapped his shoulders as he praised himself.

“The cathedral was covered with black and dark blue ice but the girl didn’t have the time to examine it: Minseok was the only one in her mind. When she went inside, it was dark and scary but she couldn’t care less. Almost suddenly, Minseok appeared in front of her and they kissed.”

Junyoung cringed in disgust as I laughed at his naïve behavior.

“Then, the snow started to melt and the ice began to crack. The girl shivered in fear when the ice began to surround her so Minseok told her to run and she did. Upon entering her house, she was looking for a book—”

“The book about guardians,” Junyoung innocently chimed.

“Yes, that one. But when it fell on the floor due to the girl’s clumsiness, a blinding light shone and the Keeper appeared. She told the girl about Minseok’s doings but the girl didn’t care. She wanted to save Minseok but Minseok wasn’t the one to stay,”

“So he left? Just like that?” Junyoung harshly asked as his emotions started to build up. I couldn’t help but nod. “I forgot some of the details but Keeper told the girl that guardians will be punished if he or she falls in love with a mere human. And the punishment is death.”

Junyoung leaned forward, anticipating for more but I lightly pushed his head away.

“Your grandma is getting old,” I softly chuckled but the sudden pain in my lungs made me cough harshly. Junyoung lightly clapped my back as he said encouraging yet innocent words to me.

“If I believe in Minseok, will snow appear?” Junyoung asked as he sat down on his place. “If a lot of people will believe, I think that that will be possible.” He cracked a smile.

“I will tell all of my friends so that they can tell other people too.”

Two and a half years has passed. Junyoung continued to tell people about the story and gained a baby sister.

Despite my aging body, I trained my body to walk miles so that my daughter and her husband wouldn’t see me as a burden.

I was currently walking towards the window, placed my hand on the windowpane and breathed in.

I felt my lungs malfunction as my heart began to lose its control. It was cold and chilly for this unbearable heat. I reached my hand out and a snowflake softly landed on my palm. It quietly melted on my skin as I slowly walked towards the door.

I grabbed my hat that was hung on the door hanger and left.

My feet stopped in front of a familiar structure. Its pillars stood proudly despite its broken figure. The stained glass that shone brightly when the sun’s light radiated on it. I walked towards the entrance door and it was open.

I openly walked in, dragging my heavy feet inside. It didn’t change at all. The altar majestically stood in front of me, blinding me with its raw perfection. The carved pillars were still beautifully preserved.

I closed my eyes and breathed in. I longed to be in here.

Golden red colored hair, squinty yet beautifully carved eyes, squishy looking cheeks and a chummy grin welcomed my eyes as it tilted his head.

“Hyemi?”

I felt my lungs explode into tiny pieces. I felt myself dying yet I felt alive.

“Hello, Minseok.”

We stared into each other’s eyes as if we were trapped in a trance, unable to blink.

“Why are you staring?” I felt my cheeks turn into a color of light pink. I have forgotten about my aged face and wobbly body.

“You still look beautiful.” He gave me a smile and I wished to cherish it.

“I have aged. What’s so beautiful about me?”

Minseok shook his head and laughed. “No matter what you look, I will always say that you are beautiful,”

Silence started to linger around us as we enjoyed each other’s company.

“Thank you, Hyemi.”

I looked at him and knew what he meant. He stared at me with his crisp blue eyes and a soft smile played on his lips.

“I just want to go back in time and fix every thing,” he told me and I didn’t know what he meant.

“But, I don’t want to change anything.” I smiled at him as he looked at me, asking for an explanation.

“You were my first love and I would always remember that. But if you haven’t disappeared, I wouldn’t be here standing in front of you.”

He gazed at me with longing eyes. “You would be beside me right now,”

“No, Minseok. You would be punished and God knows what will happen to me.”

He took a step forward, taping our ripped gap. “Thank you for giving me a chance to love you,”

He encircled his arms around my small and round body.

“And, I shall love you better after death.”

I sat down on a chair that was next to a window, trying to reach my hand out so that the snow will fall down on it. Suddenly, a loud knocking sound came from our entrance door.

“Wait a minute!” I shouted as I pushed my tired body up and dragged my feet towards it.

I was welcomed with Junyoung’s panted face

“Grandma! Do you see those white cotton balls?” He stuck his thumb out and pointed it over his shoulder, “What are those?” I placed a hand on his hair and slid it down.

“That, my boy, is snow.”