I was afraid that I’d get cut by your sharp, knife-like words
I just need to breathe and eat to endure through this

Hyoyeon

“Yah! Why can’t you do it right?!” Yuri screamed at Jaebum.

Jaebum lowers his head and bows in apology. He stands firmly in his spot but I can see his body shake. Yuri has been like this the last few days sincd Taeyang had to leave temporarily for a benefit concert for five days and this has been the third. She took on a commanding role ever since, and this is the third time she’s yelled at someone.

I look to see if anyone was to do something, but no one moved an inch due to shock. I wasn’t present the last few times so I couldn’t do anything. But nothing stopped me now.

“Let’s take five!” She yelled and stomped towards the door. “And I hope none of you mess up again.”

“Noona?" Jaebum looks at me, he clenches his fist and breathes heavily. “I can’t stand her anymore.”

I laugh and it causes them all to turn and look at me as if I had grown two heads. I smile genuinely and wave for them to come closer. “Yuri is taking her feelings out on everyone lately,”

“Still that doesn't mean she can order us around!” Min snarls at the doorway form where Yuri had exit. “Last time I checked we made Taeyang and you our captains, not HER!”

“She has a point sunbae, she’s working us to the bone since Taeyang left for his schedule. It's stressing us out as if we are doing a full time schedule.” JB sided with Min.

“You have to tell her something Hyo.” Minzy spoke up. “She’s taking a toll on us.”

Everyone silently agreed. I could see their faces worn out and their bodies limp. They were right. I was used to all the intensive training; that’s why I’ve held for so long. But them. Most of them probably were too, but at some point their emotional stress masked with their physical stress. “Alright!” a light bulb lit. "Why don’t we call it a day? I’ll talk to Yuri.”

“But Hyo,” Taecyeon stepped up but I smiled the brightest smile I could give them. I had to give them courage to continue.

“Rest, all of you.” I shooed them away towards the door. "Get lot’s of rest and fill your tummies to your hearts content. We’ll burn it off tomorrow.”

We were by the door when Yuri arrived. “What is going on?!” She looked at us confused.

“I’ve called it a day.” I say calmly. They all look between both Yuri and I. I turn to look at them one time and signal them out.

“You can’t do that!” She grabbed JB’s arm. “This one still has to learn!”

I reached for JB and pulled him away. “This is JB, not ‘this one’. If you're going to be on the team try to learn everyone’s names!” I raised my voice slightly.

“Don’t talk to me like that! What?! Don’t tell me you like him?” She snarled.

I raised my arms, “Where in the heck did you get that conclusion from?!”

“I can’t believe you Hyoyeon. You're so irresponsible and a choding!” She yelled. I stood back shocked at her behaviour. “We have a huge project and we have to be perfect!”

“Maybe so, but we also need to have some rest. Can’t you see their faces?!” I raised my voice. “They all look as if they hadn’t slept for days. How can this be fun when you turn into a psychotic dictator! Jaebum is a b-boy at heart, he knows more than you. Stop trying to control the team like you own it. You need to relax and understand that I’m a captain, not you!” I was out of breath by the end. Everyone was so shocked at my outburst. It was like everyone's tension was said through me. “And it is me Taeyang left in charge.”

“That is true,”

My eyes widened and we all turned to the source of the voice and I couldn’t help but go mute. Taeyang was here standing with a duffel bag on his shoulder and a straight face looking at every single one of us. “Everyone, go home and rest.”

“But-”

“That means you too Yuri.” He looked at her protesting face. “Hyoyeon can I speak with you for a bit? ”

I look at everyone and they stare at me. Min and Minzy stare with worried eyes. I smile reassuringly and nod them away. I look down and hear all the footsteps leaving. I look up and see Yuri glare and walked away.

“Hyoyeon, what has gotten into you?!”

Taeyang

One of our performances was canceled and it had meant we could return to Seoul early. I had caught the latest plane available and quickly flew back to the my team. I had bought everyone a wonderful gift. But there was one gift I was so anxious to give. It was a porcelain geisha doll. It was on of the most expensive one in the shop I had gone to and decided to buy it because it reminded me so much of her.  

Hyoyeon. The woman I couldn’t stop thinking about.

Once I arrived to the SM building I sneaked in and ran to the dance room as fast as I could, but then stopped when I heard screaming. I approached slowly and I saw Hyoyeon waving her arms frantically up and down, yelling at Yuri.

“-I am a captain. Not you!” I saw everyone tense and scared. I leave for only a few days and it turns into those American reality shows. But what was worse was that Hyoyeon was being completely rude to Yuri.

“And it is me Taeyang left in charge.”

I decided to step out of my hiding spot. “That is true,”

Everyone was shocked. Especially Hyoyeon. I sent them all home.

“Hyoyeon, what has gotten into you?!” I asked firmly. She stares at me agape and shakes her head.

“You behaviour was intolerable, I can’t believe this would happen. Was the power that was granted to you be in vain?”

Hyoyeon

“Nega-” is he accusing me of overstepping my leader position?!

“No, this is not acceptable. Hyoyeon, did you forget that Yuri is one of your sisters?!” He stares at me with such fury I almost didn’t recognize him. “For once you are noticed and acknowledged enough and it all goes to your head I see!”

“But I-”

“No buts, Kim Hyoyeon. You are suspended for practice for two days.”

“S-suspended!?” Was this really happening to me?

“I expect you to apologize to Yuri and come back a changed woman.” He finally said after a long pause. He turns and walks away leaving me in an empty hallway. Tears are b to my eyes and I couldn’t keep them at bay. I ran to the dance room and grabbed my bag. i pull out my cellphone and texted the members of 2NE1 and Jong Suk.

‘Meet me at the Han River at midnight. I’ll be clothed brightly. Please come if you can.’

I fall on my knees and cry loudly. Why is this happening to me?

A/N: Okay, I am very emotional lately and I was sobbing as I wrote. If it’s depressing, I’m sorry.

w/ lots of love,

Kira503