Sometimes, I get annoyed without even knowing
But my feelings for you haven’t changed
Maybe I’m the weird one, I thought
As I struggled by myself

"Yah! Hayoung yah! You're so noisy."

And she just stares at me taking a seat at the chair beside my bed, pouring a glass of water for herself and refilling it back before giving it to me, helping me to drink it.

She the takes out her ipod out of her bag and pass it to me.

"Here, you're gonna be bored when you're alone. But do not spoil it. I repeat. You better not spoil it."

I took the device and unlock it, seeing a picture of the both of us has the wallpaper.

"Komawo Young-ah"

 

While tossing and turning alone in an empty room
The TV plays reruns of yesterday’s drama
As I hold my phone that doesn’t ring until I sleep

 No Hayoung no. Hold on, let's wait for a few more minutes. Maybe a call will come in. 

I can be the only fool who's waiting for a call for 4 hours straight. 

Giving up on waiting, I stood up from the sofa, throw my phone on the sofa and making my way to my room. 

Buzz Buzz

Hayoung ah, mianhae for not calling. My phone died on me even before I got home. Will fetch you tomorrow. Nights babe

-Peniel

 

These days, it feels like you’re mine, it seems like you’re mine but not
It feels like I’m yours, it seems like I’m yours but not
What are we? I’m confused, don’t be aloof
It feels like we’re lovers, it seems like we’re lovers but not
Whenever you see me, you act so vague to me
These days, I hate hearing that I’m just like a friend

"Oh Hayoung-ssi" a hand tap my shoulder, calling my name. 

I stop walking and turn around to see that it was Sungjae, my classmate. I smiled looking up at him, wondering why he was calling for me. 

"Ne, Sungjae-ssi? Wae?" I asked him. 

"It's just, that, well are you free this Saturday?" he asked me.

Ok that's weird. I don't really talk to him in class except during discussion time if we were in the same group. And I still adresses him formally even after almost a year. That just explains how close we are. 

"What's with this Saturday?" I was about to answer when a voice interrupts from behind me. 

I know fully well who it is without even turning around. 

"Oh Sunbae, ah ani. Ah nevermind. Mian Hayoung-ssi, just forget that I asked you about it. Uhm, bye" and with that he walks off.

"What's with that Peniel?!" I practically shouted at him. 

He just shrugs his shoulders and walk off. I hasten my footsteps, trying to catch up with him. I pull his hand, making him jerk backwards and face me. I crossed my arms, letting him know that I'm really mad with what he just did. Peniel just look at me blankly before turning around and was about to walk again when I pull him back. 

"Yah! Sungjae was talking to me! Not you!" I half-shouted at him. 

"Oh really? So you were talking to him and forgot that we were supposed to meet up?" he replied back sarcastically. 

"I was waiting for you, you idiot! He just came up to me! Forget it!"

Walking away, I was really furious with him. Accusing me blindly of forgetting about our date after school. I had rush right after class to wait for him at the main gate, hoping I won't be the late one. Yet he dare to accuse me. 

Urgh I hate you Peniel Shin. 

"Hayoung! Young-ah!" I can clearly hear him calling my name,most probably running towards me but I didn't even stop, instead I quicken my step. 

"Yah!" my shoulder got yanked by him. 

Looking up at the guy in front of me, I was already furious to begin with, and this just add up to my anger level. 

"Look I w-"

"Peniel, enough! I don't know why you always try to interfere in my life when we're just friends! Just stop!" not even letting him finish his sentence, I cut him off and blow up. 

Friends, yeah we're friends. In his eyes. Not mine. His eyes are too blind to see that this stupid girl in front of him likes him too much to even say it in front of him. 

"Friends? Yeah fine. Whatever. I wanted to apologise for what I did, but looks like I can forget about it. Oh and I can forget about our movie date that the tickets I already bought." 

Staring at each other for a second before the two of us, walk away, with neither forgiving the other as our ego was just too big.

I hate this. We're neither here nor there. 

 

I want to open my eyes to your text every morning
I want to fall asleep with your voice at the end of the day
On the weekends, I want to hug you in front of a lot of people as if I’m showing off

The bright sunlight shines it rays through the curtains. Hayoung continue with her slumber, not even noticing the sun rising. 

"Hayoung! Wake up this instant! Its 10 AM!" Her mum starts her weekly alarm clock shouting to wake Hayoung up. 

She starts to squirm in her bed, eyes squinting because of the glaring sun light coming from outside. 

Sitting up on her bed, her eyes were barely open and her hair was sticking all over the place. She rummage around under her pillow from her bed. 

1 new text message 

Youngie! Morning, fetch you later alright?

-Penoodles 

"Ah, right I'm going out with Peniel today. " she mumbled to herself. 

Slowly and lazily she gets up from her bed to make way into the bathroom to shower and get ready.

Even before she starts walking to the bathroom, someone knocks on her door. 

"Ah omma. I'm up..." she grumbled as she open the door. 

"Do I look like your omma Lee Hayoung-ssi? But are you really Hayoung?" 

Hayoung look up to see herself facing with her best friend. She's looking at him with her just wake up face, unruly hair, and morning breath. How great. In that instant, she shut the door.

"Yah! Wait for me at the living room. Annoying Penoodles! " she shouted over the door. 

"Fine Fine Ms Lioness! By the way, get ready in 30 minutes or you won't get to beach your brunch with me. I'm gonna leave by 11!" Peniel .

Urgh, such a great wake up call from Peniel.

 

45 minutes later, the two of them are walking around Myeongdong street, finding a suitable cafe for their brunch. Peniel's hand slung around Hayoung's shoulder and Hayoung's arms around Peniel's waist. 

Once or twice the roadside shop ahjumma will try to stop them both and make them buy couple items.

"Aigoo, the two of you look very good together. Come come, I will give you this matching couple bracelet for cheap price"

"Aniyo ahjumma, urineun, geunyang chingu ya. Best friends, mian.." Peniel replied back as politely as possible.

Hayoung looked up at Peniel, a slight disappointing look on her face that Peniel have never realised right from the start.

 

These days, it feels like you’re mine, it seems like you’re mine but not
It feels like I’m yours, it seems like I’m yours but not
These days, I hate hearing that I’m just like a friend

I don’t like you, don’t like you these days
But I only have you, I only have you
Clearly draw the line for me
Don’t pull out but confess your love to me

Spotting Hayoung from afar, just from her back, I could recognise her. Two tickets to watch Secretly, Greatly for the second time ever just because Hayoung said she couldn't get enough of Park Ki Woong, her everlasting handsome oppa. Hmpf, what am I then?

Just as I was about to run up and scare her, some guy came up to her tapping her shoulders. I stopped my actions and try to see what he's doing. Hayoung turned around and a smile came up to her face. They started talking and I made my way towards them. I walk a whole round so that I'll end up behind Hayoung. 

"It's just that, well, are you free this Saturday? " the guy in front of her asked. 

"What's with this Saturday?" I answered back without any hesitation. 

I didn't even realise those words coming out from my mouth. 

Hayoung turn around and her face clearly shows she's not happy that I'm here interrupting the whole conversation.

"Oh Sunbae, ah ani. Ah nevermind. Mian Hayoung-ssi, just forget that I aks you about it. Uhm, bye" and with that he walks off.

"What's with that Peniel?!" Hayoung shouted at me. 

I was shocked by her actions. Yes, hayoung is loud, but never ever had she shouted at me with an angry tone. I just shrugged my shoulder and walk away. No words came out of my mouth and yes, I knew I was being stupid at that time to even interere with her conversation with that guy. Who am I even trying to stop her from talking to other guys.

Suddenly I felt someone pulling my hand, making me jerk to the bag. Turnign around I saw Hayougn standing there, arms crossed, with a really mad expression on her face. I decided to let her be and walk away. Not even a step was taken, and Hayoung pulled me back again. 

"Yah Sungjae was talking to me! Not you!" 

"Oh really? So you were talking to him and forgot that we were supposed to meet up?

"I was waitin for you, you idiot! He just came up to me! Forget it!" oops, I shouldn't have just accused Hayoung. 

She walked away from me, not even giving me a chance to explain or say anything. Even when I run after her and called out her nae she ignores it. Hayoung didn't even turn back, 

"Yah!" I pullher by the shoulder, out of frustration of being ignored.

Just when I was about to explain to her everything she cut me off. 

"Peniel, enough! I don't know why you always try to interfere in my life when we're just friends! Just stop!"

Friends? So I guess I really meant nothing to her.

"Friends? Yeah fine. Whatever. I wanted to apologise for what I did, but it looks like I can forget about it. Oh and I can forget about oour movie date that the tickets I already bought."

With that we just stare at each other and walk away.

Idiot, idiot Peniel. You should have said there and then that you like her. Why did you even make the situation even worse now? I 'm such and idiot. 

Taking out the 2 tickets inside my pocket, I crush them up and throw it at a nearby trashcan. 

I took out my phone from my pocket and toy around with it

To text Hayoung or not to text. To apologise or to wait for her to apologise. To let go of my big ego or wait for her to let go of hers first. 

Walking towards the school carpark with all those thoughts, I finally made up my mind when I got in my car. I'm the guy so I have to do what's a man supposed to do. 

Hayoung-ah, mianhae. Those words that I said, it doesn't mean anything. Mianhae, can we meet up tonight? I have something important to say

-Peniel.

 

Pretending that we’re just friends, acting like we’re lovers, don’t do that
The more I think about it, I get more curious about your real feelings
Girl you’re so ambiguous, I can’t do anything or maybe I’m expecting a miracle, lotto
I want a clear sign but I forget all about it when I see your smile

"Penoodles! penooooooooodles!" the petite girl next to me shout to me. 

I faux ignoring her becuase I can. 

"YAH! PENIEL SHIN DONGGEUN!"

"Ne?" 

"You only want me to call you by your proper name right? Hmph. But I like penoodles."

"Well too bad shorty, call my name properly or I'm not going to treat you out for lunch!"and I stucked out my tongue, teasing her. 

She just pouted and walk faster than me, leaving me behind. Chuckling at he her childish actions, I hasten my steps and fall in next to her. Putting my arms around her shoulders, and she circling her arms around my waist, walking all the way like that. 

 

"Ahjumma! One more serving of beef please!" Hayoung shouted with full. 

I just sat there, continue to grill the meat for her. Just seeing her eat, makes me very happy. For someone who just recovered, she sure do get her appetitie back quickly. 

So far 2 servings of beef are gone. And I can count the number of times the beef went into MY mouth. 

"Peniel, why are you not eating?" She looked up to me with her chopsticks stop midair as she realise I was just grilling. 

"You're eating too fast, how am I supposed to get the meat?" I decided to . 

"Mian.... nah!" she stretched out her hand with the chopsticks full of meat. 

I open my mouth and she feeds me.

"Mhhhmm gogi!"

"Young ah?" I call up to her

I really want to know what she thinks of me. Maybe, just maybe, the feelings are mutual. But what if it isn't? What if she really does see me as a friend, a best friend. 

"Ne?" she looks up, grinning from ear to ear, that same smile that made me fall for her.

Ah, maybe we're just meant to stay like this. 

"Nevermind, let's eat"

 

These days, it feels like you’re mine, it seems like you’re mine but not
It feels like I’m yours, it seems like I’m yours but not
Don’t just laugh like you don’t know and stop this now, be real with me
Don’t put me in your heart and look elsewhere
Why don’t you stop acting like you don’t know when you do know?
Don’t give excuses that you’re tired but hurry and tell me, I love you

"Hayoung, I love you. I really do. Right from the moment we met, until now and I hope until forever. Throughout these years I've been a coward clutching on to you without confessing my feelings. I've been lying to myself too much and right now, at this moment, let me truthful about my feelings for once. Will you please be my other half Lee Hayoung?"

Peniel stared back at his reflection in the mirror, and sigh.

At this rate, don't even say Hayoung, even a cat won't accept his confession. Urgh, why is is so hard for him to say out what's in his heart to Hayoung when he ccan say everything else to her.

Even when he gathered up the courage and ask Hayoung to meet up with him to confess, the confidence just disappear the moment he sees Hayoung walking towards him or looking back at him. It's like he's afraid the moment these words escapes his mouth, there's no more turning back and the friendship between the both of them will be destroyed.

Ok, not this time. Be a man Peniel Shin Donggeun. Be a man.

And with that he steps out of his room, grabs his car key and left his apartment to be a man.

A simple 15 minutes drive to Hayoung's apartment have never been so nerve-wrecking in his entire lif. He'll be lying if he says his palms are not sweaty and his heart are not beating very fast.

Turning off the ignition of his car, he opens the door and steps out of it, trying to calm himself down, gathering all his courage and confidence back.

Yup, now is the perfect time. It's the right time. The best time. No more backing out Peniel.

Each step taken to reach the doorstep of Hayoung house was painfully slow and hard. Step by step he tried to calm himself dow until he reach the said doorstep. Heavily he bring his hand up to press the doorbell. Within seconds, the girl that he wanted to confess to appeared.

Dress in just an oversize t-shirt, that he recognizes as his football jersey, and shorts with a bare face and a messy bun on top of her head, in his mind, she's the most beautiful girl right now.

He decided that he made the right choice, and this is the right girl for him.

"Oh Peniel, what are you doing here? It's late."

"Lee Hayoung, naneun joaheyo. I really like you. I ... I love you." there he said it. It was not that bad.

Hayoung just stood there, not saying anything, blinking her eyes rapidly. Nothing comes out of .

The next thing that Peniel knew, the door was slam shut right in his face.

Right, at least I did say it. I manage to be a man and confess. Maybe it was all one-sided. I was just asing for too much.

Just as he turn around was about to walk to the elevator, the beep his phone made signalling he got a message.

Nado.

Just those two syllables made him happy. He turn back to face the door only to see Hayoung standing there, with a shy smile on her face, fingers fiddling with with her, or should he say his t-shirt.

Hugging the girl in front of his face, he look straight at her and kiss her on the lips, pouring out the locked affection that have been in his heart all these while.

"I'm glad I hold on to you. Neo naekoya.." and with that Hayoung buried her head in his chest, face red with embarassmet and heart explodig with those words.

 

THE END

 

Author's note: Ok, I've been saving this in my drafts for months now and at last I've completed it tonight. Was reall glad to be able to complete this story. As i've said in the foreword, this story is actually base on my life. I wrote it because the song by Soyou and Junggigo really hits me hard, It was like speaking directly to me and I can't help but to write it down in words what exactly are the things that I went through or felt. Well, some of these have been tweaked and changed as to not make it like my real life story. I hope all of you love this story :) I may or may not transform this into a full-length as I've not finish my 2 full-length story and I have afew other oneshots that is not completed but well, if you have any ideas, please do comment below or PM me :) And do subscribe to this story for further updates and also to me and check out my other stories :) You can also send me requests for oneshots and I'll try to write one if I know the idol or the song or anything alike to that :) CHEERS!