“Kim Jongin,” he said. Crescent eyes and shy smile.

“Choi Junhee.” She answered, extending her small hand, “Wanna play?”

***

The weather was not this cold in her memories, apart from the unchanging street and all, everything was much more warmer years ago. Or maybe because she was alone this time without an arm slightly brushing her side and a quiet exchange of warm words. But she would like to believe that it was because of the nonexistence of her favorite wool scarf. Well, like, who was she trying to fool?

She could easily remember the faint feeling of an attempt to hold her hand that would make her look up to him. There would be a tint of red shade in his tanned cheeks and a shy smile, but then he would hold her hand tighter with somehow a new found confidence after she smiled back at him.

Her heart fluttering with rainbows and flowers back then, but left with only memories and pains now.

The song from some old band was heard from one of the store, one of his favorite, the one which he asked her to dance along with. He would grab her hand, pulled her to the vacant space of the room, and they would turn around the room as if she was as great of a dancer like he was.

And with another song, the one she liked to sing along with, he would listen carefully with so much adoration that fulfilled her heart with butterflies. He would say how beautiful and sweet her voice was as if she was the best singer of the world.

After all the years she spent on studying music until she won a big competition, so many people had praised her. But all she felt was how much she had taken him for granted years before, because she really missed his smiled along with a gentle pat in her head.

“Junhee?” The familiar voice called her, when she looked up seeing the face she hadn’t seen for almost two years now, she smiled.

“Unnie…”

The young woman shocked face soon turned into warm smiled she then approached her and held both of her side in assurance that she was in fact the same Choi Junhee she knew.

“Junhee, right? Oh my... It really is a long time since the last time I saw you!” She looked genuinely happy, so did Junhee, but something about it felt wrong, the one who connect them both was missing, “How are you? I heard you study in Japan?”

“Yes, Unnie, I just came back…”

“Let’s have a drink than we can chat further. Do you mind? Or do you have another place to go?”

“No, it’s okay… I miss you, Unnie.”

The older woman smiled again, “I miss you too, Junnie.”

***

“I will become like Shinwaa!”

“I will become like BoA!”

“But then you have to dance!”

“And you too have to sing!”

“Why can you just sing and I dance? Isn’t it good solution?”

“Well, really sound like a plan.”

“Yeah, we can do this together, be a star together?”

***

The young woman yet older by four years sitting before her was a definition of natural beauty, although there were make up here and there, but then again minimum make up can do only a little to highlighting the already beautiful face. She had a mature aura whenever she smiled, and the words she used had only been wise and familiar, Junhee had no choice but comfortable at her presence. Just like old times, she thought. The older woman had always been like a sister to her, even until now.

“I heard your Japanese songs, they are really good,” she said after she took a sip of her coffee, “You’ve grown up so much into this lovely lady but your voice is definitely still as sweet as ever. You’re going to debut in Korea soon, am I right?”

Junhee was quite taken a back that the older woman had known her activities, even if they had lost contact for quite a while. It grew guilt all over Junhee’s heart. “Thank you, Unnie, yes, I am… It supposed to be this June.”

“Wow, I got a leaked agenda,” She laughed, “I’m anticipating it, Junnie in June, I’m really proud of you. Both of you finally really make it, in the same year as well—oh! Junnie, I didn’t mean to bring this up…”

It must be her sudden change of expression that gave it out, because there was no way the voice of her thundering heartbeat was that loud for anyone to hear, right? Junhee tried to convince herself. “It’s been a long time, Unnie, really—I mean—It had past—It’s okay... now.” She forced a smile, that would be her specialty, since that was the one most important requirement in this idol industry, “I’m really proud of him too, Unnie.”

All his dreams and hard works, he had made it to the real stage at last. As she remembered the sparkling young man in the stage earlier, she really was proud of him.

***

“I’m really sorry, Junnie…”

“Why are you sorry? You should be happy! You are now a trainee in the biggest company you have been dreaming of!” She grinned widely and patted her friend, “One step to your dream!”

“But—“

“It’s okay. I’m just not pretty enough.”

“No, you’re really pretty!”

“Even I want to puke right now, you stupid.”

“Yah!” He shouted, but the girl only laughed.

“I’m sure I can make it in another company, don’t you believe me? We’re still on this together!”

***

“Nervous?” Jung Yonghwa asked with the hint of his typical playfulness. Junhee rolled her eyes at the older man, “after thousands gigs in Japan, it is still natural to be nervous you know… but I will be here, so just relax a bit will you?”

This was the day, when she finally could perform in her homeland, with her guitar and voice she would like to introduce herself. This was her dream that she achieved after a long painful road.

“Okay, The Great Jung Yonghwa,” She stuck her tongue out, “Your great great presence really embrace me with so much confidence, Oh Yonghwa the Great.”

That and Junhee got a light smack on the head, but she grinned nonetheless. “I prefer harder, but coordi-noona will eat me alive if your ‘natural’ flow ruined. So, you better don’t tempt me, Junnie.” Yonghwa said jokingly.

Before Junhee could remark some more, some boys came to the view, and she found her tongue frozen immediately. One of them easily recognized her and smiled, “Junhee!” he called and then formally greeted ‘Yonghwa-sunbaenim’.

“Oh, Junnie’s friends? The newly debut SM’s boyband? EXO, right?” Yonghwa said while nudged Junhee’s shoulder and gave her a meaningful look.

“Yes, sunbaenim,” the one who called Junhee earlier—the tallest one—said with cheerful smile. They bowed to Yonghwa in respect. “We have to return now, Sunbaenim,” he turned to look at Junhee, “Congratulation on your debut, Junhee! Good luck on stage!”

“Thank you, Chanyeol,” she said as they walked away, each one of them congratulate her while Junhee said thank you until one last person at the back.

He didn’t look so different than the last time they met, much taller, yes, and much sharper feature too. He bowed to Yonghwa like others too but then stopped frozen in front of her. “Hi,” he said carefully, deeper voice than years ago.

“Hi,” Junhee replied timidly. It quite interesting for Yonghwa—this exchange—because it was a rare sight to see the rock-headed Choi Junhee acting timid.

“Good luck on your debut, Juni—Juniel.” A pang of hurt felt in her heart.

“Thank you, Kai…” she then replied. And the pain was only spread wider in her heart. He bowed once again to Yonghwa, and walked away.

Junhee realized that her nightmare these past years was in fact a reality. She had lost her bestfriend.

What left was Juniel, the soloist, and Kai, the dancing machine of EXO. They’re on their respective dream together, finally, but side by side no more.

***

 “I don’t think I can make it anymore, this is too hard…” she cried, “I can’t do this anymore…”

“No, Junnie! You can’t just give up right now… Remember this is your dream. You loved doing this. You have come this far—“

“It’s easy for you to say! You got everything already, you’re talented and got a big company on your back! You never know what I’ve been through!”

“So that’s what you think about me? Do you think I don’t bleed to dead for this?” there was hurt in his voice, “Yes of course you can’t make it. You give up easily. You won’t make it anywhere at all with that attitude.”

“Yes! Thank you very much to point it out! That’s how pathetic I am!” she shouted. “Go away!”

“You said I need to believe in you…” that was the last thing Junhee heard before the door closed.

***

Junhee blinked several times to make sure that all of this was not her imagination. And after the sixth times she blinked, the young boy in front of her laughed, his laugh was so real, Junhee almost clapped at how great how imagination was.

This felt like déjà vu, this had happened back then in the past. But this time, he was the one who extended his hand to offer first.

“Kim Jongin,” he said, with the unsaid not Kai, in his eyes. Junhee extended her hand too, albeit still slightly thing this was a dream.

“Choi Junhee,” not Juniel—she might want to add.

It was weirdly not awkward, both of them, a long time ago best friend, introduced them self as if they hadn’t seen everything of each other. After a second silent, they both burst out laughing on how weird their situation was.

“I’m a transfer student from neighbor school,” Jongin said, explaining why he was there, in front of headmaster’s office, “They said it easier to deal with privacy in this school.”

“I’m an old student of this school,” Junhee said, explaining why she was here too, “They send me back from Japan because I need to graduate from this school.”

Again, they both laughed, and for once their shoulder felt lighter than before.

"I heard you met my sister..."

"Ah yes..."

Then there came the awkward silence.

“Hey,” Junhee called, “I’m sorry…”

Jongin cocked his head to the side, “Why are you sorry?” he said, “You don’t have to apologized, just make sure you don’t go to Japan in a blink of an eye anymore…”

“Oh…”

“As much as I love your songs,” he trailed of, “It is better to hear your news first hand…”

“I thought you hate me…”

“I was, but that because I missed you so much, it’s driving me crazy.”

 Junhee blinked again, but Jongin still there, in front of her, with the same uniform that she wore. Just like when they were in elementary school, when they started their innocent dream. “I miss you too…”

“Friend?” Jongin asked, raised his pinky finger right in front of Junhee’s face.

“Best friend!” Junhee linked their pinky together.

“Wanna go to the class together?” Jongin smiled, and again Junhee felt déjà vu. She nodded and his smile just got wider.

Kim Jongin and Choi Junhee were again together, side by side, with shoulder brushing each other while walking, and pinky fingers linked.

***