After every visit with Jonghyun, Heaven always made time in her schedule to visit Taemin in the hospital. Each day brought another serving of ddukbokki, another round of beeping monitors and heavy coughs, a few minutes held in Taemin's arms, and another memory to replace Jonghyun.

​At approximately 2:31 P.M., Heaven sat across her love, Jonghyun.

At approximately 2:32 P.M., Heaven thought about her love, Taemin.

Their hands were intertwined like always and made small talk through the crisp white paper scattered between them. Each minute consisted of a giggle, a laugh, a kiss, a sip of coffee, and repeat. Everything was smooth and moved in a steady rhythm like the feel of Taemin's breathing under her fingertips -

Heaven blinked, shook her head, and forced herself to fall in love with Jonghyun.

It was slowly starting to get harder and harder with each passing minute.

Without warning, Heaven noticed that the spark that used to exist between the two was slowly diminishing. She couldn't look at Jonghyun without imagining the feel of Taemin's loving gaze on her. The thumb rubbing on the back of Heaven's hand could not be compared to the of Taemin's fingers running through her hair. The warmth of Taemin's arms around her outshined the warm smile of Jonghyun's. It hadn't happened to her before, but Heaven could feel the creeping suspicion of a girl falling out of love.

No matter how much she denied it, she knew it far too well.

The sound of pen on paper allowed Heaven to cast her gaze downwards. Below her flowing script was the unmistakable handwriting of Jonghyun's. "Why do you never take me with you to the hospital?" it said.

Heaven bit her lip and chewed it lightly, pondering over the response. Carefully, she wrote, "The hospital is a special place for me."

Jonghyun wrote, "Why is that?"

Heaven didn't miss one beat. "My best friend is in there. I want to spend every single last moment we have together."

The man's voice broke through the silence. "That's what I want to do with you."

She shook her head, looking down towards the wooden coffee table. "It's not the same."

His voice started to get quieter. "What isn't the same?"

Heaven was too confused to even hide her concern for Taemin. "You're not dying."

"If I were dying, would you do the same for me?"

Heaven was taken aback, as if the answer was obvious. "Of course!"

"Then start showing it." And with those words, Jonghyun sat up in his chair and left the cafe, leaving the melody of fluttering papers and the sound of a breaking heart trail behind him.

Heaven got up, bringing a few slips of paper and her pen with her and pushed open the door, the mocking sound of jingling bells following her. Jonghyun's snow blond hair was stark in the distance. Heaven struggled to catch up with him, her strides becoming longer and longer and faster and faster. Happy memories of short hugs and long kisses and the feel of that same white blond hair under Heaven's fingertips taunted her as she grabbed Jonghyun's arm and twisted it towards Heaven, tears forming in her eyes as she struggled to write down what was on her mind. "Why do you think that I don't show that I love you?" she wrote, water blurring her vision.

Slowly, Jonghyun turned around and looked at Heaven with cold eyes, not letting go of Heaven's hand. "Heaven," he started, "I've been with many girls over the course of my lifetime. None, and I mean none, have made me fall in love like I've fallen in love with you."

Heaven poised her pen over the crumbling paper, but Jonghyun's icy stare stopped her.

Jonghyun continued. "I know the look in a woman's eyes. That sparkle in the light, the eyes widening - it's a sign that people are in love." His grip on Heaven's hand lessened. "I used to love that look that you got. You made it look even more beautiful." A flash of sadness passed through Jonghyun's cold gaze. "Where did it go?" Then, he let go of Heaven's hand and whispered, "Where did you go?"

He turned around, his back facing Heaven. "I love you, Heaven. But I won't waste my heart on someone who's heart has already been destroyed."

Heaven's vision was too blurry to watch Jonghyun go.

At approximately 2:47 P.M., Heaven sank to her knees and cried.

He's gone, she thought with her head in her hands. I've really done it now. I've made one thing in my life disappear.

The happy memories closed in on Heaven and made it harder to breathe, the silent sobs becoming louder, the tears falling faster. The echo of Jonghyun's footsteps disappearing up the street throbbed louder than the sound of her sobs and it ached, ached, ached. Her hand clutched her heart and for a second Heaven knew she would die and fall on the street right there and melt into the ground, her heart beating slower and slower until Heaven's heart would be destroyed.

"Everything's falling apart, Taemin."

"And why is that?"

Heaven lay in Taemin's arms once more, writing underneath Taemin's elegant script. The mucus in Taemin's lungs were rising so dangerously high that he couldn't even speak anymore. It was back to writing like they normally did, sharing memories through the paper of Heaven's small notepad and exchanging silent messages through the dark blue ink of Heaven's pen. One delicate hand lay on Taemin's slowly rising stomach and the other was pushing through Taemin's hair. Though it was soft, Taemin intertwined a trembling hand with the one laying on his stomach and he breathed into her hair. It no longer bothered her that the oxygen tube was tickling the skin on Heaven's neck, or the fact that Jonghyun was somewhere outside of the hospital without a Heaven by his side. As long as they were together, everything was fine.

Wasn't that what she thought when she was with Jonghyun?

Heaven shook the thought of Jonghyun's disappearing footsteps from her mind and focused on Taemin.

She knew she had to be honest with Taemin. He was her best friend, after all. Slowly, she wrote, "He's gone.. The man I loved.. I made his disappear again."

A split second of anger passed through Taemin's expression and in the blink of an eye, it disappeared like the love Heaven had with Jonghyun. "That man is stupid."

"How?" Heaven wrote.

"Who in their right mind would want to get rid of a girl like you?" A faint smile played at the tips of the boy's lips.

"Everyone."

"But I'm still here."

Taking two weak fingers, Taemin placed them under Heaven's chin and tilted her face towards his. With a strangled whisper barely audible, Taemin whispered, "I.. love.. you.."

At approximately 9:25 A.M., three beautiful words made Heaven's heart break.

"I love you, too.." Heaven wrote with no hesitation at all.

The kiss was soft at first. But, with Taemin's little strength and the feel of his arms around her, the kiss turned into something more; something greater. It showed a love stronger than the bindings of red and blue wires. A love stronger than the confinement of the beeping monitor that was growing farther in the distance. Time stopped and revolved around the couple, watching as something legendary was being born.

However, that all stopped when the heart monitor's beeps turned into a long buzz.

All too soon, Taemin's heart weakened under Heaven's fingertips and his lips fell off of the girl. His body went slack and fell right on Heaven's still beating heart that beat faster and faster as reality hit her. A nervous yet silent giggle escaped from her closed lips as she shook the unmoving Taemin softly, the shakes becoming more frequent when he wouldn't move. Heaven was sure it was some kind of cruel joke being played by the devil. But, no, no devil was playing games today. The angels were finally coming down and took her love away from her.

No, no, no.

Nurses and doctors of all kind swarmed into the room and pried her off of the bed. Heaven desperately reached out to Taemin through the blur of her tears, but he would still not move. His stomach no longer had any steady breathing. His fingers lay limp against her notepad. His eyes were closed, and if it weren't for the buzz of the heart monitor and the doctors trying to soothe her, Heaven would have thought Taemin was merely sleeping and drifting off to the realm of dreams.

This was no dream.

No, no, no.

Heaven didn't want to heart it, but at approximately 9:31 A.M., Lee Taemin was pronounced dead.

The soft grip of the nurses and the doctors surrounding her started to feel like claws against Heaven's soft skin. In a state of shock and grief, Heaven tore her grip away and started sprinting towards the direction of her apartment complex, tears falling faster, silent sobs becoming louder. She ignored the curses and disgusted looks directed towards her as she pushed and shoved through the sea of heads surrounding her. She ignored the pain of her breaking heart and the gravel puncturing her skin as she stumbled multiple times onto the street underneath her. No, none of it mattered anymore. Heaven had to get to her bedroom. She was running out of time.

Heaven tore into her bedroom and searched the premise with wild eyes. The stare of the windowsill that once belonged to Taemin mocked her from her viewpoint and it took her all of her willpower not to scream sorrow at it. Clumsily, Heaven grabbed at the box full of seventeen years of friendship and paper airplanes inside of it and a roll of tape, holding onto the items and never letting go.

She wouldn't do the same with Taemin again.

In a shocked frenzy, the girl burst into the bathroom and started to open the box, the scent of love and memories and yellowing paper making Heaven's eyes water even more. Carefully, she took each and every paper airplane out from hiding and started to tape them to the white and spotless walls of the bathroom. With each paper airplane taped to the wall was another memory attached to the paper. The purple airplane in which she ran out of white paper and Father didn't have enough money to buy white paper. The crumpled airplane where it didn't quite make it to Taemin's windowsill and the far off memory of giggles as Heaven watched a young and healthy Taemin grab it off of the street for her. The very first airplane that said, "Hello!" It was all here now, all for Heaven to stare at before she went.

The memories that surrounded Heaven were suffocating her; mocking her. Such happy memories were such a contradiction with Taemin's death. It was so overwhelming that it nearly made Heaven double over in laughter, it was so ridiculous. Paper airplanes shot out in every direction and Heaven felt like she was one of the airplanes that used to fly to Taemin, soaring and flying and, maybe, just maybe, Heaven would be free.

She kept this thought in her head as she searched for Father's gun behind the toilet.

Heaven looked at herself through the cracked mirror and saw a broken, fragile monster, tearing at the seams. The girl on the other side of the mirror looked nothing like the vibrant, happy girl she used to see every morning. There was no Jonghyun to rub his thumb against the back of her hand. There was no Taemin to breathe into her hair with what little strength he had left. As she held the gun to her head, Heaven thought that this would be the glue to piece her back together and everything would make sense after she would go. Heaven would finally be with Taemin like she always hoped she would be. Nothing would break her. Nothing would break her. Nothing would break her.

At approximately 9:59 A.M., Heaven said her first and her last words:

"I'm sorry, Taemin."

At approximately 10:00 A.M., Heaven drifted off to sleep.