They’ve been trying so hard, they wanted this so much.

They’ve been together for years since high school, stood the test of time and the drifts during college and braced themselves for the wrath of the working world. They’ve been through a lot and together, they had conquered every problem.

They met in middle school and she was a few months older than him. He was charming and friendly while she was shy and reserved. He had fallen love at first sight while she fell for him after constant pursuing.

“Jonghyun-ah” Eunsook uttered as they sat on a bench facing the Banpo bridge.

“neh, Noona?” He asked and Eunsook smiled at him sweetly.

“We will be graduating High school tomorrow.” She said and Jonghyun hummed. ‘I was wondering. She paused and looked away. “If you would still like me after.” She said and Jonghyun looked at her with confused eyes.

‘What I am saying is, would you still like me to be your girlfriend?” She asked and Jonghyun nodded vigorously like a puppy.

“Yes Noona! I want you to be my girlfriend! I really love you Noona!” He replied quickly and Eunsook chuckled at how adorable he was.

‘Well, why don’t you start calling me by my name Jonghyun?” She said and Jonghyun’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

‘Are you saying that you are agreeing to be my girlfriend?” he asked and Eunsook nodded. “Eunsookie! Saranghae!” jonghyun was overjoyed as he hugged her tightly. Unknowign to him, tears were flowing down his cheeks as he was flooded with such joy.

“You look like a puppy Jonghyun.” She uttered but Jonghyun didn’t care, he was holding on to the love of his life.

Right after college, they were engaged and a year after, they got married. Their relationship wasn’t perfect but they managed through their daily lives. She worked as a training officer for employees in a firm while he tackled banking as a finance officer. They weren’t rich per say but they could make both ends meet.

They had busy lives and sometimes, weekends were spent at work but that did not stop them from loving each other every second that they can.

“Sookie baby.” Jonghyun said as he wrapped an arm around his wife and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Do you think it’s about time that we start building a family?” Jonghyun asked and Eunsook smiled at him widely.

“I was thinking of the same thing Jjongie.” She replied and Jonghyun’s face lit up as Eunsook agreed to start their own family.

Several months into trying, they had failed to make a successful pregnancy; it has became rather stressful for the two of them but most importantly to Eunsook who was bearing the pressure. They had consulted doctors and they were both fine and healthy, they were just to stressed at making one to actually even focus on enjoying each other.

It took several months more until she had seen two lines, she was now pregnant.

“Really?” Jonghyun asked and She nodded her head. Jonghyun was delighted, he was going to be a father in 9 months time. He hugged her tightly and kissed her lips, she was really a gift to him.

They decided to confirm the result by going to a doctor, she received the good news and that only heightened their excitement. She was then asked to have an ultrasound and that’s when their world shattered. Eight weeks into preganancy, her ultrasound revealed that it has weak heartbeat.

She needed to rest and keep herself well but her work didn’t permit it. She had stressed a lot on trainings, something that her good friend Gwiboon had noticed. She offered to take some of her load as she understood that the first trimester is actually the most critical of all periods of gestation.

But Eunsook was a tough cookie so she had worked like she wasn’t pregnant, worked until her body had taken a toll and her child suffered.

The ultrasound on her twelfth week was devastating as the doctor delivered the news, she has to undergo suction to remove the embryo since they couldn’t hear the heartbeat anymore. She shook her head in disbelief, her baby is fine. She wanted second opinion but that only strengthened the nightmare tat was now consuming her; she had a miscarriage.

“Eunsookie! Honey!” Jonghyun held her tightly as she broke down, her child is being taken away from her. “It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay!” Jonghyun said lovingly but Eunsook was far from convinced, she had failed them both again.

‘I.. My baby..” She cried as she held on to her stomach, trying to feel a certain pulse that ceased to exist even before it had a chance to grow.

“My baby.” She cried and Jonghyun could only hold her close and cry with her.

She had undergone surgery and had fallen into depression. She couldn’t bear the weight of their loss that she blamed herself for it.

‘It’s okay Sweetie” Jonghyun cooed next to her but this only fed fuel to the fire.

“It is not okay jonghyun! Our baby died!” She screamed out of frustration. “You think this is a joke huh? We lost our baby!!!” She continued. ‘I don’t want to see you! You don’t love me!” She screamed and threw the first thing she could have her hands on.

Jonghyun walked out of the room and sank on the floor with his head resting on the door. He heard her cry her heart out but he couldn’t do anything to help her ease the pain and guilt.

“Eunsookie, I love you baby.” He muttered to himself as he let those tears fell from his eyes. “You don’t know how much it pains me to lose our baby.” He said, talking to no one in particular. “And I think I am losing you too.” He said as he completely broke down and cried, his wails blending with those from his wife and their hearts wept from the loss of such precious soul they had wanted for a long time.

Will they be able to cope and start building their lives back?

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a/n: sorry.. I just have to write it down. I’m just really sad about it.