Tiffany Hwang sat on her bed, leaning against the headboard, eyes closed with arms crossed over her knees. Thoughts were running through her head as usual— a flurry of ideas, emotions, and blank space— until a particularly tenacious avalanche overwhelmed all others and forced her eyes open. Once again, there on her bare pastel pink wall in front of her was a envisioned scene of a young girl at her seat in a classroom and a boy, perhaps a few years older, sitting on her desk, talking to her. Both adolescents had content smiles on their faces as they gazed at each other lovingly. A perfect romance scene, and once again, Tiffany was an observer of her own thoughts. She watched the two converse as if she were watching a movie, the scenarist herself. She had created a perfect world in which fate ensues as she dictates. It was one that allowed her peace, happiness, contentment, love, and passion, no matter how transient.  It was one where she could achieve her heart’s desire, be who she was, be with herself without the rest of the world yanking on her imperfections like a master puppeteer. And unfortunately, it was one that existed only in her mind, only in her imagination.

 

The girl—herself, Tiffany Hwang—sat at her desk, talking to the boy—Jesse, her ideal boyfriend, a mentor two years her senior—who was hearing and listening to her recount a random incident as if it was the most important story in the universe. She was a perfect representation: smarter, taller, prettier, happier. And she had all his love: his tender gaze on her, his fingers entangled in the soft waves of her hair, his lips smiling his affection for her. All that is his was for her. Well, she was the center of his universe in her world. And as the Tiffany in her imagination dramatically finishes her recount, Jesse leans down to press a gentle kiss on the crown of her head, full of affection, full of warmth. The kiss felt so real, Tiffany Hwang almost closed her eyes to savour the feeling of his seemingly soft lips but she didn’t because it wasn’t real and she had to watch so she kept her eyes trained on the characters moving in the apparition on the wall. It took another kiss—this time a peck on the tip of her nose—for Tiffanys’ smiles to widen into beaming grins. A last tear left a trail down Tiffany’s cheek as she watched Jesse finally kiss her, his lips caressing hers, murmuring words of his love for her. Even if it was just in her imagination, in her own world, just a moment of love was enough to keep her heart alive with hope.

 

``

Tiffany’s unique ability to convey her thoughts as movie-like projections was both a blessing and a curse simultaneously. It was a way of communicating with herself and also a safe haven in those plentiful times when reality became too much to handle. Imagination took her to different worlds where there existed nothing but what she thought: butterflies and pink unicorns when she was a toddler, beautiful Barbies and cute talking puppies once she entered grade school, romance with different crushes when she hit puberty, and finally Jesse. No matter where she travelled with her imagination, it was far from where she was stuck in reality; she had thought that even her worse nightmares were a thousand times better. And being an imaginative one, she had had a lot of nightmares.

 

All her thoughts are projected, outside or at least in her mind, always in her mind. So as she discovered once after watching a horror movie, she found herself being haunted by a ghost from her imagination that refused to leave her mind. Since, she had been haunted by plenty: the boogeyman, monsters under her bed, mega-sized insects, psychotic serial killers, souls that cannot pass, her family but most often, herself. And it was those times when her thoughts take a hold on her that she feels most free yet most restrained.

 

Sometimes, even when she’s just sitting there, she can’t control or stop her thoughts. They run through her head incessantly, scenes shifting back and forth from topic to topic. Emotions and mind chaotic messes. It is very dizzying, it feels like she’s going insane. As days pass, events occur, the thoughts accumulate, having no exit from her consciousness. Tiffany thinks a lot and talks a lot, but only to herself. Among her friends and schoolmates, she’s known to be a very friendly, outgoing, happy-go-lucky girl who’s always gracing others with her brilliant happy beautiful eyesmile. Though seemingly candid to the point of vulnerability, Tiffany’s two best friends often find themselves not privy to her truths which they assume she hides under the façade of her smile. Tiffany would argue though, that it wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to her best friends, to tell them about everything that makes up her being, to answer all their questioning worried scrutinizing stares, to allow them inside. No, it wasn’t that she didn’t trust them or love them. It was just that when asked to communicate her inner feelings to people, Tiffany’s brain tends to go into overdrive. Too much to say, too little opportunity. Her thoughts and words and worlds muddle up into a chaotic incomprehensible mess of stuttering which she can never vocalize in a way that she herself, and much less others, can understand. She stumbles, she trips, she falls, and so she remains at the point where she started, nothing said. She would love to show her thoughts to them, but she was taught from past experience not to show anyone her curse. It was a curse, an anomaly that would only serve to bring her problems and negative thoughts as she would be even more different. Hence, she kept it all inside her head, talking, watching herself by herself. Her English teacher once told her that words are powerful so use them and that she didn’t know how to harness that great power. She wanted to tell her that she knew; she knew of the great power, more jarring than the sharpest blade, and it is of her own choice to not yield as others had done unto her, cutting away forever a person’s smile with a mere utter of one word. It was only when she was in her own dark world, her head resting upon her knees and hands secured above, filled with her own warmth, her own scent, and her own darkness, that she allowed herself to think, talk, and dream. With every scar that grew, every river of tears that she cried, she watched herself die once and again and again. She watched as she called soundless cries for help and spoke wordless confessions of her pain that no one heard, but she kept her visions to herself.

 

Except with Jesse. (Yes, he’s in her imagination but at least he’s someone. And he’s very someone for Tiffany.)

 

Jesse would hug her. He would listen to her. He would tell her that everything will be okay and she would believe him.

 

“Jesse?”

 

“Yes, love?” He always answers.

 

“Did you know that my favorite color is red?” Tiffany once said to him, clawing at her arm with the pain gnawing at her heart. “It is the color of my blood. It means that I’m alive, even if I am feeling dead inside.”

 

“No sweetie. Your favorite color is pink,” Jesse corrected her, wiping away her un-fallen tears and her thoughts with a brush of his thumb across her cheeks. “It’s the color of your sweet lips. It’s the color your cheeks when they’re flushed with laugher. It’s the color for you, someone who’s so warm, so beautiful, so loving.”

 

“I’m not beautiful…” Tiffany whispered as she hid herself and her heart in Jesse’s arms. “Look at all these scars.”

 

Jesse looked and saw, all those scars all over her body, faded away but still there, always there, wounded deep in her fragile heart.

 

“No, you’re beautiful. And so is everything about you. Scars are ugly in appearance but they are beautiful in the fact that they mean that you have survived.”

 

“But they hurt Jesse. It hurts.”

 

“Time heals.”

 

“You know that’s bull. Time just morphs into one long period with no start and no end. And the same things repeat over and over again and again. Those words keep on repeating in your mind until you feel like you’re going insane, but you know you’re not because you can still feel that pain. And then you want to go insane just so that you won’t feel anymore, but then there’s too much to let go.” Tiffany choked on her avalanche of words again and got back up with resolution. “I’m not going to cry. I don’t want to cry, because it means that she has won. That pride is the only thing I have left.”

 

“Crying doesn’t mean she won...” Jesse secured his arms around his crumbling Tiffany. “And you have me. Always.”

 

But she didn’t hear his soothing mantra. “Then what does it mean?!”

 

“It means you’ve cared enough, and you’ve let it go.”

 

“Let go of what? What is left of my pride, my hopes, my dreams, what little control I have over my life?” Despondent, Tiffany’s grip on Jesse’s hand slackened but he would not let her go.

 

“No, let go of your past, your panic, your pains. Allow yourself to be free.”

 

“What does freedom taste like?” Tiffany asked, genuinely yet as if to herself. “Bittersweet… and it tastes like you.”

 

On occasions, when she needs him most, she sought for and found a restless serenity in her moments with Jesse. Those moments when she lay snug and secure in the sanctuary Jesse's strong, safe arms, she allowed herself to truly smile, to finally shed tears that she knows will be fully understood.

 

"Jesse, you know what I am going through, right? It’s too much right now. My thoughts are starting to scare me again." A trembling whimper escaped her lips as she clung onto Jesse's t-shirt tighter. Her fingers formed fists of control, holding onto the soft fabric, and her face snuggled against Jesse's chest where all she could feel was her boyfriend's warmth and familiar scent, where all her thoughts were overwhelmed solely by her love for her Jesse.

 

"It’ll all be alright, love." Jesse's voice rumbled low and familiar against Tiffany’s cheek. "I’m here for you, to take some of your worries off your pretty head. I love you Tiff."

 

Tiffany watched longingly yet contently and hugged her pillow tighter as her imagined self whispered back her expressions of love and nestled in Jesse's arms. These visions may allow Tiffany to imagine, but she was always a mere observer with only her voice in her head, no music, no sound, no touch or feeling, save for the warmth that filled her chest whenever she watch Jesse love Tiffany.

 

~~~

 

As others draw, read, write, animate, and sing to reflect and pass boring times, Tiffany watches her imagination take life in her mind. When she has nothing better to do, she would just sit or lie at her place, thinking, watching, relaxing, hoping. The visions conjured during times of boredom were usually formed nonsensical drabbles of thoughts: her old Economics teacher’s bald head sprouting pretty flowers, leaning against a tree in a meadow colored by blooming blossoms, gazing at stars that winked and smiled back at her. No matter where she imagined herself to be, no matter what she imagined herself doing, Jesse was always there with her. Sometimes, when she is alone, Tiffany would bring her thoughts out of her head onto an undecorated wall or whiteboard by her side. All scenes always looked more realistic and beautiful to her like that. And the task was risky in that other people might walk in to see her ability on full display, which made it all the more exciting.

 

But when it happened, Tiffany realized it wasn’t exciting at all. A Friday afterschool. After all other students have rushed home, excited to begin the only two days that they get to rest in the whole week, she remained in her Theory of Knowledge classroom, a place that almost felt like home. For Tiffany, it was better than home at the moment. She didn’t want to go back to her house, dreading what she would have to face, and so she decided to be with the only company she liked.

 

Jesse smiled at Tiffany, taking her hand in his. They were standing in her favourite meadow. The sun was shining brightly unlike the rain pouring outside the school’s safe walls, the wind was a breeze instead of the howling storm, and everything was safe and tranquil as usual in her Jesse’s arms. She was almost able to immerse herself in her thoughts when the door to the classroom opened and a vaguely familiar pale girl appeared in the doorway. She stood, wide-eyed, staring at Tiffany before her eyes shifted over to the flickering images displayed on the whiteboard and her hand that was playing with her brunette braid fell limply to her side. It took Tiffany all of three seconds to register that someone was here with her, to blink, to pull her head away from her thoughts that had begun to change to the current scene, and to stare back, wide-eyed as well, at the girl.

 

The girl—her name was Jessica, if Tiffany remembered correctly—frowned when the projection vanished and returned her attention to the still-shocked girl, looking like someone had closed the TV while she was watching her favorite cartoon. Then a smile grew on her pretty face as she raised her hand and wiggled her fingers in greeting.

 

“Hi! Tiffany, right?”

 

“Y-yeah… Je-Jessica?” Tiffany’s stutters had returned.

 

“Oh so you do know me! Sorry, I’m just here because I left my phone, and I kinda cannot like live without it. I mean, I probably can but… I mean… urgh!” Jessica pulled on her braid, frustrated. “Did you do that?”

 

Tiffany didn’t have to follow Jessica’s pointing finger to know that she had seen too much. The downpour outside sounded even more deafening now that the room was silent without even her thoughts ringing in her ears. She gulped but that seemed to resonate in the emptiness. Jessica’s grin widened at the nonverbal confirmation of her suspicions.

 

“Wow, that’s amazing! That is so beautiful!” Jessica gushed excitedly, rushing over to Tiffany.

 

The seated girl unconsciously leant backwards into her shell of inhibition and caution. Jessica immediately stopped in mid-step, cheeks pink with embarrassment at her sudden eagerness. Upon seeing the brunette turning uncomfortable because of her, Tiffany immediately reverted to the bubbly persona she was with her friends.

 

“No Jessi! It’s okay. And thank you!” She even beamed an eyesmile for safe measure.

 

Jessica visibly relaxed when she knew she was forgiven for her outburst and invasion of Tiffany’s haven, plopping down beside her classmate, her lips curving into her usual smile-smirk.

 

“So… was that your boyfriend?” Tiffany looked away, cheeks aflame, and glanced back at the grinning girl out of the corner of her eye, only to have Jessica wink at her teasingly.

 

“N-no!” Damn, her stuttering was still there.

 

“Imaginary boyfriend then.” Jessica chuckled when Tiffany couldn’t reply. “What’s his name?”

 

Tiffany turned even redder at the question if that was even possible considering how much she was already blushing due to the close proximity between her and the teasing girl.

 

“Come on, you can tell me. I promise I won’t laugh,” Joking put aside, Jessica told her genuinely in that soft voice of hers.

 

Tiffany could count on one hand the number of times she had actually interacted with this girl who was now sitting beside her, but there was something about Jessica (maybe it was her soothing voice, maybe it was her pretty smile, maybe it was the sincerity in her eyes) that made her trust her. She knew somehow that she would not laugh or run away even if she told her everything, and she already knew her deepest secret anyways.

 

“It’s Jesse…” Tiffany’s answer was a mere whisper but Jessica heard it loud and clear like it was her own name that had just fallen from her pink lips.

 

“ME?!”

 

Yup, Jessica didn’t laugh. But she returned back into being a wide-eyed statue, fingers pointing at herself.

 

“Not you Jessi. J-e-s-s-e. Jesse.” Tiffany hid her face in her palms. The encounter had been embarrassing enough for her to begin wanting to dig herself a six feet hole and bury herself inside until Jessica was gone. Nevertheless, after a few moments, Jessica laughed out loud, all negative thoughts disappeared and her lightheartedness was all Tiffany could hear.

 

“Nice name,” Jessica commented half-teasing while standing up. She dusted her pants off, picked up her phone from her desk, and smiled down at Tiffany who was looking up at her from where she was sitting on the floor. “You two make an adorable couple: he’s really handsome. And you’re really cute.”

 

Tiffany swore she saw Jessica’s cheeks flush pink (just like hers were doing) as she continued talking. It was a cute sight, a memory that she never allowed to leave her mind.

 

“I’ll be going now. It was nice talking to you like this Tiff,” Jessica stopped as she reached the doorway again. She turned back to wave goodbye, a temporary separation that held so much hope of reunion. “It’s a shame you have to hide your gift like that. It’s beautiful, and you are too.”

 

And then she was gone, leaving Tiffany alone with her thoughts again. However, this time, things have changed. All her thoughts, no matter how hard she tried to conjure up Jesse again, remained on Jessi. In her mind, their short encounter was stuck on replay and Jessica’s small pretty shy smile at the end always made Tiffany go back to the start to watch again.

 

``

 

It was only when Tiffany realized that her Jesse’s fingers had become more slender, his voice a higher pitch though still soothing, his eyes more tender, and his hugs softer and warmer though still as secure, that she noticed something was tremendously different. Jesse was still, at heart, Jesse, except he seemed more like a girl now. Not just any girl, but Jessica. Tiffany also realized that she had been more aware of the brunette’s presence around her, and her conversations with Jesse recently have mostly been about the times she spent with Jessica (and her new friends… but mainly Jessica) during the day: how they worked together in class, how they hung out at their place in the neighbourhood park afterschool, what new imaginations she had shown her, how Jessica smiled, how she laughed, how she was so lovely. Jesse had always smiled at her, a knowing smile, but never bothered to explain further even when Tiffany bribed him with kisses. Tiffany assumed it was because she finally got a new friend, with whom she did not have to hide her “superpowers”, someone who understood her and loved her for who she was. But then Jesse began turning into Jessi.

 

“You’re so in love with her,” Jesse told Tiffany one time while he was still purely a man.

 

“No I’m not!” Tiffany replied, albeit maybe a little too quickly. “She’s my new best friend!”

 

“Uh huh, yeah right…” She glared back at him when he sent her a knowing wink.

 

“I don’t! Stop screwing with me!” Tiffany pouted and crossed her arms in hopes that Jesse would stop making her heart pound.

 

"I thought you loved it when I screw you," Jesse faked a hurt look and winked at her.

 

Tiffany flushed red. "Shut up! You make it sound so vulgar! And that's not the point anyways!"

 

“I’m not. I’m just saying what I see and that is that you love her.” She actually hated it sometimes when Jesse sounds smart. Why did she have to like smart boys?

 

“Then you must be blind. I love you.”

 

“Yeah I know you do. But you also love her.”

 

“No I don’t! And she’s a girl anyway. I cannot like her! And she’s probably straight.”

 

“Says who?”

 

“Everyone else!”

 

“When did you ever give a about what others think? And you’re not a homophobe, are you? Because that would be very hypocritical of you.”

 

“Stop this Jessi. Who are you to tell me how I feel?!” Her anger grew with each of Jesse’s attempts to convince her already wavering heart, ending in her snapping at him.

 

“See, you even spelled my name her way,” Jesse smiled warmly, knowing he has won the argument even if Tiffany doesn’t know it yet. “And who am I? Remember, I am a part of you Tiffany. I am you, Stephanie. I am the part of you that loves.”

 

“Look JessE. If you’re just going to be spouting this nonsense, just leave me alone.”

 

“Do you really mean it?” Jesse sounded really hurt this time but not surprised.

 

She knew she didn’t, but she said it nevertheless in her annoyance. “Yes.”

 

“Alright then. I’ll be back when you finally decide to listen to yourself,” Jesse just smiled again, understandingly.

 

He leaned forward to press a soft kiss on her forehead and placed a palm over her heart. “Listen, Tiffany.”

 

But she couldn’t bring herself to… just yet.

 

Tiffany may not be the smartest out of the bunch but she didn’t need to be a genius to figure out that what she thought was purely platonic love for her new best friend might have grown into something more. Okay, maybe the elbowing, raising of eyebrows, Jesse’s raised eyebrows, and late night girl talks of her other two best friends may have guided her to the correct trail of thought. It was Sunny that approached her first regarding the topic, finally drawing the emotions out of Tiffany’s mind and into the open.

 

“Do you like her?”

 

“W-what?! I don’t like Jessica!” !

 

“Oh I never mentioned that I was talking about Jessica, did I?” Sunny grinned like she just won a prize. “But in fact, she is who I was talking about! And you totally do!”

 

“N-no, I d-don’t!” Damn her stuttering again! Tiffany’s expression screamed ‘guilty as convicted’ but she tried getting out of the black hole. “I mean, of course I love her! She’s my best friend!”

 

“Uh huh, totally in love with her,” Taeyeon commented, unconvinced, as she slid over to take a seat beside the interrogated girl. “I’m her new best friend too but you don’t see me staring at her like a lovesick girl like you do.”

 

"But you're dating that other midget over there!"

 

"So you mean if I weren't dating my bunny, you would have a crush on me too?" Taeyeon grinned teasingly like a dork before blowing a kiss to her Sunny.

 

"NO!"

 

"So it is only Sica that you have a crush on. You know, she seems pretty interested in you too. In that way."

 

"What? Really? Nooo. No! I mean I don't like others but I-I!!” Tiffany opened to defend herself but her eyes wandered over to the girl of topic, who stopped talking to her other friends to wink back at her, and she closed her gaping mouth again wordlessly.

 

Taeyeon and Sunny high-fived each other and just laughed at their best friend when she meronged at them.

 

“I’m not lovesick!” Tiffany retorted to save her dignity when the laughter had died down. As she said that, an old thought that she had one night of her kissing Jessica flashed through her mind.

 

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Sunny patted her head, smiling. The two standing shorties were looking down at Tiffany as if they were proud parents.

 

“Look honey, our baby is so grown up now. She’s even in love!” Taeyeon faked a sob and pretended to wipe a tear away. Sunny immediately joined her in the wailing of happiness.

 

“Have you confessed yet, sweetheart? Are you going to do it? When and how are you going to do it?”

 

Tiffany rolled her eyes but stilled as another past thought struck her, and her cheeks turned bright red. She could feel Jesse’s presence return in the back of her mind and he was smirking at her dilemma.

 

--

Tiffany was walking beside Jessica in the rain, under one umbrella. They stood close to each other, not only to prevent themselves from getting soaked but also to reside in each other’s warmth. Their arms brushed with every step they took, but both were too shy to make a move to hold the other’s hand. At least until the temptation became too great for Tiffany to withhold herself. She quickly grabbed the ends of Jessica’s long sleeves and glanced up at the older girl. Jessica looked mildly surprised but then beamed a happy smile, withdrawing her arm to bring Tiffany even closer. The little smile boosted Tiffany’s courage. She decided to ask her thoughts out loud and leave behind her doubts for a while.

 

“Jessi?”

 

“Hmm?” Jessica gave her another one of those sweet little smiles of hers again and Tiffany almost forgot what she was going to say as her mind exploded in fireworks of Jessica’s smiles.

 

“A-are you free tomorrow afterschool?” Knowing that the stutter has given her away, Tiffany blushed bright red and took a sudden extra care in avoiding puddles.

 

“You know my schedule better than I do, Tiff.” Tiffany could hear the smile in her voice. “I’m free.”

 

“Do you want to go watch a movie together?” Her thoughts stopped. She waited for an answer with only the loud drumming of rain on Jessica’s umbrella and her own heartbeat filling her ears.

 

“What’s on?”

 

Not a rejection yet. She allowed herself to breathe a little.

 

“Frozen.” Tiffany saw Jessica enjoying the animation despite the earlier complaints about Tiffany’s childishness.

 

“And we’ll go get froyo afterwards?”

 

“If you want to… I-I mean that sounds great.” Tiffany saw herself at the frozen yogurt store with Jessica, the two feeding each other cutely.

 

“And will this be a date?”

 

Tiffany froze. That was supposed to be her line; she was always the one to say it in her imaginations. Now that Jessica beat her to it, she didn’t know what to reply.

 

“If you want to…”

 

“Yes or no, Tiffany?” Jessica stopped walking, standing in front of her, her index finger lifting up Tiffany’s chin so that the younger girl would look at her.

 

Tiffany gulped and managed to not choke on her reply. “Yes.”

 

Jessica grinned. “It’s a date then.”

 

Her fingers trailed down Tiffany’s neck to her nape, holding her firmly, as her lips descended upon Tiffany’s soft ones. Her scent, her feel, her taste, her, it was all that filled Tiffany’s mind. She was all that she could think of, and the thought of her never left her mind after that moment.

--

“Yah byunTiff! Why are you smiling like that?” Taeyeon knocked on the said girl’s forehead, bringing her back to the real world. “Are you thinking naughty thoughts about—?”

 

“Tiff’s thinking naughty thoughts about who?” A familiar voice interrupted the tease, the owner taking a seat on the table in front of Tiffany’s chair.

 

Tiffany’s mind threatened to relapse into imagination mode again to hide away from the embarrassment, but she stopped herself when she saw Taeyeon opening to answer.

 

“NO ONE! No naughty thoughts!” She quickly slapped her hand over Taeyeon’s mouth and interjected with a grin that she hoped looked innocent enough.

 

Apparently, it wasn’t.

 

“Come on Tiff. You can tell me.” Upon the flicker of hurt that crossed Jessica’s eyes, Tiffany’s heart plummeted. She’d rather embarrass herself than make Jessica sad.

 

“It was just a kiss.”

 

Jessica immediately brightened up again at the confession.

 

“With who? Tell me! Tell me! Oh Tiff, you’re so cute!”

 

With Jessica squeezing her blushing cheeks, Tiffany rolled her eyes and saw Taeyeon and Sunny grinning mischievously at them.

 

“I’ll tell you later, Jessi,” Tiffany held the hands on her face and took them into her own as she brought them down onto Jessica’s lap.

 

Jessica pouted but seemed pacified. Tiffany looked at her and thought maybe this was her chance.

 

“Are you free tomorrow afterschool?”

 

“You know my schedule better than I do, Tiff.” It felt like Déjà vu.

 

“I’ll show you then.”

 

Jessica smiled at her, knowingly.

 

 

``

 

Jessica was leaning against the wall opposite the door of Tiffany’s classroom when Tiffany’s class finally let out as she had study hall and thus could leave early. Upon hearing the bell ring, signaling the end of the day, she pushed off on one heel and moved forward to peek through the open doorway. Tiffany was still at her desk, packing her books and stationary in a hurry. The sight of the rushing girl made her smile. Gosh, wasn’t she just so precious? It took a few moments but Tiffany finally zipped up her bag and jogged towards the exit, almost missing the very girl she was hurrying towards in her haste. Jessica reached out a hand, grabbed her arm quickly, and pulled her away from the current of students. Tiffany, unable to slow her speed in time, twirled right into the standing girl.

 

“Oww!” Jessica moaned when the edge of the textbook in Tiffany’s hand slammed right into her stomach.

 

“Jessi!” Tiffany squeaked in surprise.

 

“Hi to you too.” Jessica managed a pained smile.

 

“Oh my gosh, I’m like so sorry! I was rushing so I didn’t see you. I didn’t mean to. Are you okay? I’m really sorry. I should have seen you but I was rushing to you. And then wheee I bumped right into you, like literally. I guess now I don’t have to run to meet you.” Tiffany’s cheeks slowly colored with each word as she realized she was rambling but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.

 

So Jessica decided to help her. She pulled onto the hand still in her grasp and wrapped her arm around the girl, trapping her against her body. Jessica winced slightly when Tiffany’s elbow poked into her injured area.

 

“If you are truly sorry…” She spoke now that the latter had been stunned into silence by the sudden hug. “Then hug me better.”

 

Tiffany nodded, resting her head against her collarbone as she relaxed. Her free hand slowly clutched back around Jessica’s blouse.

 

"And pay for our froyos!"

 

The rumble of Jessica’s words tickled her ears and her fingers ignited a trail from her back and down her arm to where their fingers were entwined.

 

"Froyos?"

 

"Yes Froyos! We love it! Nice, sweet, cold, and healthy. Shall we?" Jessica released her from the hugs but continued holding her hand.

 

"Let's." Tiffany smiled shyly and let the older girl lead her out of their school.

 

The frozen yogurt store was right around the corner of the block so it didn’t take them long to get there; the trip was too short for Tiffany to do anything. As soon as the dessert shop came into sight, the younger girl’s excitement skyrocket, her shyness forgotten as she dragged the Jessica who refused to run with her through the doors. Jessica watched, smiling, as Tiffany picked out her toppings as if she were choosing her wedding ring. The thought made her smile grow bigger; Tiffany would probably like a pink diamond from Tiffany and Co. When Tiffany realized the gaze on her back, she turned around, slightly embarrassed, and beckoned the other girl to come join her at the counter. They ordered their Froyos (strawberry yogurt with real strawberries and chocochips sprinkled for Tiffany and original yogurt with sliced bananas and oreo chunks for Jessica) paid for by Tiffany as promised, and walked back out, eating their food happily. They strolled down the road aimlessly for a while with their arms linked (the ones that were holding the cups of course).

 

After a long fifteen minutes, Jessica had finished her frozen yogurt and was ready to talk again. "So your secret?"

 

"Y-yes?" Tiffany stopped scraping her cup for whatever was left and looked up, looking a little like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

 

"You said you would tell me."

 

"Yeah I did." She took their cups and moved away to throw them away in the bin as an excuse to stall.

 

"Then show me."

 

"Okay..." Tiffany looked around to see if they were within sight of anyone but the street remained as vacant as a school parking lot on a Sunday night. Her heart thumped, fast and hard. Butterflies were fluttering in her stomach. She reached up to press at her temples while she concentrated on her memory but her attention was interrupted by Jessica holding onto her hands in midair.

 

"No Tiff. Show me."

 

"Oh..." Realization dawned on her face. "But it's not raining."

 

Jessica shrugged. "Well even if it's not perfect--"

 

"Everything is perfect if it is with you," Tiffany heart began to take over her mind and she let it with blushing cheeks. Jessica smiled. "Uhhh, so now we walk."

 

And they did, as Tiffany sorted out her jumbled mind.

 

"Jessi, do you want to go watch Frozen together tomorrow?"

 

Jessica frowned. "I already watched it with my sister."

 

"Ohh..." Tiffany panicked; things are really not going as they did in her imagination.

 

Upon seeing that the girl had become flustered, Jessica held the fiddling hands to stop them from moving nervously. "What about we go out for dinner instead? I know this place that serves great Western food."

 

"That sounds great!" Tiffany immediately leapt up at the opportunity.

 

"Great!"

 

"It's a date then!" She exclaimed the phrase she has always wanted to, loudly and quickly in case Jessica would beat her to it again in reality. And then she realized what she just said. "I mean, then?"

 

Jessica chuckled at her enthusiasm and the change in tone at the end, and decided to cute girl even more. "Woah baby, so demanding already!"

 

Tiffany wondered how many more times Jessica would turn her into a clumsy red tomato in the future. Probably plenty.

 

"I like it,” Jessica admitted in a whisper.

 

"I like you!” Tiffany accidently blurted out again.

 

Jessica’s cheeks flushed pink but she grinned her usual smile-smirk. "I like me too... but I love you more."

 

With each confession, she took a step closer, pulled Tiffany a step closer. Tiffany’s mind raced with thoughts of possibilities and expectations but her mind shushed it, and told it to not expect but to accept, to feel, and just to love. This time, she finally listened. And was she glad she did when Jessica brought her right up close, front to front, noses touching, heartbeat for heartbeat, before she kissed her.

 

Her real kiss, her real taste, her real touch, her real love... it was all more than Tiffany had ever imagined.

 

It left her breathless, it left her spinning, it left her loved, it left her rooted in reality with only one thought in her heart.

 

"Will you be my Jesse?"

 

"No.” Jessica never stopped smiling, lovingly. “I'm your Jessi."

 

"Even better."

 

For once, reality was so much better.