♦◊♦

Everyone misunderstands Yifan.

They misunderstand his silence as coldness towards a person. They misunderstand his simple stares as glares. They misunderstand him because he looks like he can kill the whole world, what with his brows that look like they are always furrowed. His servants and maids act so formal around him, scared to even look at him in the eye. His father looks and talks to him like he’s some great commander perfect for everything. And Yifan – well, he doesn’t like it.

The truth is, Wu Yifan – the Wu Kingdom’s soon-to-be-king Wu Yifan, is just like any other person. Although he looks tough on the outside, he’s still a slightly naive young man on the inside. He likes animals and finds joy in watching sunrises and sunsets. He likes watching people roam around even though he knows he can’t just personally go and roam around with them. He loves walking and even though it might not show, he loves other people’s company.

But other people don’t see that, except maybe for Yixing - his half-brother Yixing who was brought to their kingdom when Yifan was six.

Even his father sees him as a mature prince who can readily handle the kingdom. Yet, Wu Yifan, the tough looking Wu Yifan himself knows that he can’t do that. Not yet.

But then, he has no choice. This has been the carved way for him, and what else is there left to do but to accept?

Yifan is a good son. He’s obedient – follows his father’s every order - without even asking for anything in return. Hell, he even gave his own freedom just for the kingdom.

He even married a blind man just to make it – his kingdom, happy.

He hopes that his father will realize that, though he knows that his hope would only be deemed impossible.

♦◊♦

They get along well, Yifan and Jongdae – if your definition of it is not really talking to each other.

Well, it’s always Yifan who inches away every time he sees Jongdae anyway.

He doesn’t know why, but he feels as if he knows Jongdae all along, and it’s not nice for him because he barely knows Jongdae and, what if this is like the things Yixing were saying?

Yifan slaps his cheeks so hard he’s sure he has made it red himself.

“Are you alright, Yifan?” He hears someone ask and he turns around to see Jongdae looking around, as if trying to search for him. Yifan gulps. Seriously, things are just so awkward.

“Yes.” He answers simply, and he misses Jongdae’s crestfallen face because he has already turned around to look the other way. Yifan is currently in the palace gardens, sitting on the grass - just relaxing and looking at the animals and trees when Jongdae has suddenly shown up.

Come to think of it, how did he even get here alone?

“I see that you like the gardens.” Jongdae starts; and Yifan turns his head to look at him. He stays silent and nods.

“Yes. It has been my sanctuary, if you call it that. It’s always refreshing to look at flowers and trees, and animals.” He sees Jongdae nod and smile, kittenish lips curling up as white teeth are shown. His eyes are forming crescents, as if he’s happy that there’s someone here that likes gardens too.

“I truly agree to that. Being in gardens is nice for me.” He shifts from one foot to another and that’s where Yifan notices that Jongdae is barefoot.

“Why aren’t you wearing any shoes or slippers?” He asks, and Jongdae looks around dumbly, trying to see if he can locate Yifan with his ears. Yifan snorts softly and pats the space next to him, though he knows the other can’t see his action, and says, “Come and sit. I’m sure your feet are tired.”

Jongdae smiles and starts to move his feet, but then he stops and his brows are furrowed. “I – kind of don’t know where I’m going to sit...”

Oh, yes. And Yifan laughs, making Jongdae startled because of this. His eyes are wide and even though they are clouded with blindness, they still sparkle – and Jongdae shifts from one foot to another again.

Yifan stops laughing when he sees Jongdae still standing. He’s smiling when he holds out a hand in front of the blind man. “Here, I’ll help you. Just take my hand.” And it has Jongdae reaching out dumbly in the air, hands moving about slowly as he searches for Yifan’s hand. Yifan, upon knowing that Jongdae is nowhere even near his hand anymore, chuckles and takes it to him to take the latter’s small hand instead.

Jongdae’s hand is warm and soft, and it fits perfectly under Yifan’s large soft ones. The smaller man instinctively tightens the hold as he lets Yifan help him with sitting down.

Yifan fights the urge to hold back tight to the warm hand.

♦◊♦

“You and Jongdae seem pretty – formal.”

This causes Yifan to look up and he sees Yixing standing in front of him, head tilted as he waits for Yifan to answer.

“Is there a problem with that?”

Yixing looks at him incredulously, and he uses his arms to push Yifan aside so that he can sit beside him. Yifan moves to give Yixing space.

They are, once again, in the gardens. Jongdae was with him awhile ago, talking about animals and forests and other things when the maid had come to get the blind man. Yifan, at that, just showed his usual cold self, as what others call, and just said goodbye to Jongdae as he was brought away, back to the palace – for what, Yifan didn’t know.

“There is a problem with that, you little idiot.” And really, Yifan laughs at that.

“Well, look who’s talking, little brother.” This makes Yixing scowl and he punches Yifan lightly in the arm.

“I’m older than you.”

“Which is why I’m wondering why you’re small and well – me –“ Yifan doesn’t continue and doubles in laughter when Yixing starts throwing punches in his arm, again and again, with furrowed eyebrows.

“Try saying it and you’re dead.” Yixing seethes, though it doesn’t really sound like that, and Yifan just wants to laugh even more. Luckily for him, he’s able to suppress it now. After seeing Yifan calming down, Yixing sighs and sits down again. “You know, for a minute there, I thought you were just trying to change the subject.”

Yifan stiffens and he knows Yixing has felt it, because now Yixing’s eyes are like slits as he looks at Yifan. “I wasn’t.” Yixing scoffs. He sighs and gives up. “Okay, fine. So what if I decide to just change the subject? And what about me being formal with Jongdae?”

“Wu Yifan.” His brother says, voice calm but father-like. “He is your husband. And married couples should not be formal with each other, because you and Jongdae are married.”

“Come on. I barely even know the person, Yixing! And do you even remember the time when you came and –“

“You’re not going to bring this up anymore, Yifan.” Yixing sighs. “I know about that. The time when I came and started staying here because my mother decided that father can take care of me, leaving her with another man she was going to marry. The time when you barely even talked to me because we don’t know each other that well, which, by the way, took me a long while to change that. You fool, I still remember that time.”

‘Well then –“

“But that doesn’t mean you get to do that again, and to your husband at that! Seriously, Wu Yifan. Stop being so immature and talk to him like the husband you’re supposed to be.”

Yifan looks at his older brother’s stern face and just sighs in defeat. “Fine.” His shoulders are slumped. “But I can’t promise it. I’m going to try. Please, just let me try first. Let me try.”

Yixing, upon seeing his brother’s reaction, heaves a sigh and pats Yifan on the shoulder. “It’s not going to be hard, Yifan. If you try and keep on acting cold towards every one, then they might just give up and turn away from you. Don’t do this to your husband, he doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t deserve the cold shoulder, alright?” the taller prince nods again. Yixing smiles widely at that. He sits down giddily beside Yifan again.

“So, do you want me to talk about soul mates again? I read this really good book and I’m dying to talk about it!”

♦◊♦

It’s a miracle, really – how Yixing got Yifan to talk to him when they were little.

When Yifan’s father announced that Yifan was going to have an older brother, the latter was so mad he locked himself in his room for days. The maids couldn’t coax him to get out.

Well, yes. Yifan might have wished for a brother for him to lean on, a brother for him to play with, and someone who would be his companion in everything. But now that he finally had it, he didn’t want it.

“Hi! My name is Zhang Yixing, and mama said you’re my little half brother.” Said the little dimpled boy, smiling. He was small, and how dare he even call Yifan little when it was the other way around?

Yifan didn’t talk and didn’t shake the hand that was held out for him.

Little Yixing, knowing his half-brother wasn’t going to shake his hand, just retrieved it back to his sides, but still smiled. “You and I are going to have fun with each other as brothers, I can feel it!”

-

“What are you doing here?!” Yifan all but screeched as he took in the sight of Yixing sprawled out in the garden. His garden. How dare he.

“Ha! I finally heard you say something!” Yixing smiled triumphantly and he stood up to pull Yifan to sit with him.

“This is my garden, get lost.”

“Really? It doesn’t have your name though, so, sorry.” Yixing let out his tongue and Yifan really wanted to strangle him.

He rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever. I’m going somewhere else. Eat the garden now, it’s all yours.” But as he was about to stand up, Yixing grabbed his arms and pulled him back down.

“No, wait. Look, sorry? Sorry. I just wanted to see if I could talk to you, you know. I – I’ve never really had a brother before, and I’m just happy that I have one now. I have been so, so lonely.  When mama said that I was going to stay here I was so excited because then I would get to meet you. But you look so cold and you don’t say anything when we met and that’s why I’m trying to get you to talk to me because I’m happy that I am able to talk to you this way...”

Yifan just looked back at him, shocked. So, Yixing was also lonely. Just like him.

“Okay.” Yixing looked at him, confused.

“What?”

“I said, okay.” He repeated again, and Yixing jumped up and hugged him, which caught Yifan off guard.

“Really?! Does it mean I get to play with you now? Can I walk with you everywhere now? Can I talk to you about everything now? Can I –“

Yifan shut his mouth up with his hand, lips curled into a smile.

♦◊♦

“Jongdae?”

“Yes?”

“Tell me, why are you barefoot?” Yifan asks. They are once again, in the garden. Yifan is sitting side by side with Jongdae in the grass, feeling the breeze. Jongdae’s eyes are closed and occasionally their hands brush when they move and Yifan – Yifan feels like he wants to hold Jongdae’s hand instead of just leaving it with hand brushes.

Jongdae turns to the voice and Yifan finds himself staring at Jongdae’s eyes once again. The smaller man smiles and says, “I know this might seem weird, but, I’m kind of able to find my way when I’m barefoot.”

“Really?” Yifan asks, quite surprised. Walking blindly with your feet as your guide seems to be a hard task. “How long have you been walking like this?”

“Since I was 10, I think? I don’t remember. But I’ve been blind ever since I was a baby – so father said. I couldn’t take it when the maids had to take me wherever I go because of this disability, so I tried to walk by myself and with the help of these feet, I was able to get used to it and so here I am.” After saying that, Jongdae lies down on the grass, and Yifan just watches him do that.

“That’s amazing.” He suddenly says, and he wants to eat it all up again because did he just say that? Did he?

He couldn’t help it though. It really was amazing.

Jongdae laughs – the first time he ever did with Yifan, and it’s breezy and soft and melodic and anything else Yifan can’t explain. One thing is sure though – he wants to keep that voice all to himself – wait, what?

“I’m glad you’re not weirded out.” He says and trails his blind eyes to the sky. He blinks, again and again. The two stay silent.

There’s a gap in their conversation wherein Yifan feels that he should say something. So he opens his mouth to talk.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and Jongdae’s brows furrow in confusion, as he still stares at the sky.

“For what?”

“For being so formal to you. I know we’re married and all, but, it’s just that – I really don’t know you that much.” He says, eyes downcast.

He’s surprised to hear Jongdae chuckle. “It’s fine. It’s not really surprising. This is an arranged marriage between two people who don’t know each other.” He smiles. “If there’s anyone who should be sorry here, it’s me, not you.”

Yifan looks at the blind man lying on the grass, and how come he has not noticed the perfect cheekbones, the kittenish lips, the gentleness Jongdae has?

“I know I already told you this on the night of our wedding. But it’s my fault you’re stuck with me, just to be able to get to the throne. And I’m sorry, really. Because I’m blind, and I’ve taken your freedom when I know that you really need it.”

Yifan bites his lips because now Jongdae looks so sad, so he takes it to himself to lie down and hold Jongdae’s hand again, much to the latter’s surprise.

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s my choice I gave my freedom away.” He tightens the hold. “I just hope, right now. We would be – uh...”

“Friends.” Yifan looks at Jongdae’s smiling face. “We can be friends, if you want. I know we’re married, but the label has no use if there are no feelings in between.”

Yifan stares at him, and he finds himself nodding, smiling slightly.

“It will work. We can make it work, right?”

Now Yifan smiles widely, eyes looking straight at Jongdae’s clouded ones. “Right.”