Wandered in Wonderland

Imagine: A Nightmare with Your Bias

It's an unusual day for you since you never woke up with a severe stomachache in your whole life. Nevertheless, the pain served as your alarm clock to get up and take the bathroom. Weird, you mentally thought for the pain had stopped. With a click of a tongue, you decided to get out of the house only to find your neighbor's kids going off to school. The kids were really fond of you and called your name to ask if you want to go with school with them. A small smile creeped on your lips as you wave them goodbye. "Maybe some other time," you called back, for a distant music of joy and merrymaking caught your attention. You turned around to inspect the other direction of the road. From where you are standing, you can recognize the big pied tent and colorful festival flags at the distance. The cheers and music reckoned you to go to the place of excitement, that you have forgotten about how you look like. You never wore a dress but you ended up in a blue one with a white apron over it, and you disliked stockings but you are in striped ones right now. Awful, but you never thought about these and skipped right towards the great circus in town where everybody is playing games, watching magic shows, buying souvenirs, and basically, being happy. The music is everywhere and the place is bright with colors; you had a hard time picking which place to explore first, until somebody tapped your shoulders from behind.

 

"Hi miss, can I help you?" he asked as you turned.

 

Am I dreaming, you mentally asked yourself as you gaze over the young man. It could be a dream, you argued, for the man in the jester suit exist a continent from your location. But he's here, you argued again, in flesh and blood... with a smile on his face, asking you. Yes you! You must know that smile somewhere. Right, in the music videos... in the reality and interview shows in HD definition. Upon finding no plausible arguments to use, you snapped back to reality, greeted by the concerned look of your bias.

 

"S-Sorry...!" you apologized in a fluster.

"Waeyo? You kinda looked cute when you space off~" he chuckled. "I see that you're new in the place. Want me to give you a tour?" he offered.

 

Who are you to say no? It's a dream to have your bias clad in a handsome (was a jester suit even meant to be handsome?) jester suit to tour you around a vast place of happiness and bliss. Of course you gladly said yes and soon enough, you are off to the rollercoaster, to the ferris wheel, to the game stands and betting arena, and to almost every nook and cranny of the circus. You met several animals that can do headstands and other tricks, you have also met the other members of your bias' group managing and performing in the circus. You've eaten popcorn, cotton candy, and a lot more of junk foods, completely forgetting the agony of a severe stomachache that morning. You have watched the final magic show for the night and your bias gladly escorted you out of the tent.

 

"Thank you for everything," you told him, your face smeared with euphoria.

"I'm glad that you're happy." he said in the familiar solemn voice. "Well, I have to go and rest. See you soon~" he said and waved goodbye.

 

You turned to go back home for the darkness had covered the circus. As if you have woken up, you realized that you are alone... in the dark, with no other spare light from a nearby ride or lampost to guide you. You noticed how the mist covered the area from your feet up to your knee. I  have to be careful, you thought as you begin walking towards home, ignoring the rattles and the rustles of some things behind you. The sounds intensify, you thought, but you didn't have the courage to look over your shoulder so you scramble to your feet and ran really quick. Without looking back. Since you are unaware of the ground because of the mist, you fell down an open manhole (you guessed it was a manhole for its size) and lost consciousness.

 

Weird, you thought as you woke up, for you didn't got wet in the process of falling down the stinky sewage. You're all dry and... somehow okay, except for the return of your stomachache. The place where you are right now is narrow... like the air shaft of some building. A dim light shines about outside the shaft and you peeked at the open hole. You saw somebody standing in the center of several people, shouting, talking, shouting, talking. You managed to take a glimpse on his clothing and you knew that pied jester suit somewhere. You wondered how and why your bias would inconsistently shout and talk, as if emphasizing several words to everybody in the "meeting". Then it clicked in you; like a lightbulb flicked open.

 

"I am not responsible for the trash that you HAVE FOUND! Care to tell me where YOU last saw it?"

 

His looked at your direction with a glare and you gasped at the unexpected act. That's the time that you have noticed that the people he was talking to are dead, propped upright on their seats. An audible whimper escapes your lips as you desperately crawled out of the air shaft while the man in the jester suit called out "I will find you" in a singsong voice. Fear made its way in your system but you refused to be shaken. You successfully climbed out of the air shaft and returned to the circus where you found your bias in his now bloody jester suit, carrying a machete in one hand. You screamed and scamper away from him, adrenaline rushing all over your body. It's like a game of hide and seek, you thought as you seek shelter inside an abandoned game stand. As if shushing your own heart to stop pounding, you talked to yourself for a few minutes, which soon broke to a shrill frightened scream when your bias popped the wall you're reclining on with the machete. You never did somersaults before but eventually, out of fright, you did and you desperately wanted to go away from the circus.

 

The chase soon came to an end when the two of you reached the rotunda; a large fountain of baroque architecture stands on the center, and the whole circus stretched their vicinty from it. You took one last look at your bias, his face still painted with the familiar smile but you didn't fell for it anymore. No words exchanged, he swung the machete towards you. You dodged out of instinct, pulled his legs forcefully until he hit the marble fountain. You heard the crack of his head and blood colored the water. The area was silent. You stared at the corpse for a moment as you catch your breath, then you looked at yourself, clad in the blue dress and the apron stained with blood and cobwebs. You messed your hair and stomps out of the fountain and ultimately, out of the circus; completely forgetting the frenzy that had happened within it,

 

"Of course," you started talking to yourself once again. "Nothing goes well when you're wearing a dress."

 

The stomachache returned as you are walking down the road back home and this time, it was more painful than before that it made you  curl to a ball in the middle of the road. You cursed and cursed, as if it would make the pain go away.

 

"Just kill me already," you said under your breath.

 

Then you heard the honking of a distant truck.

 

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bowrair #1
So the imagery and the creepiness was super creepy. Like a stranger's finger's tickling your back creepy. /shudders/
But I couldn't help but feel like the story didn't really have suspense or the horror feeling to it. It was more that the actual events, not the writing that made it creepy. I would encourage you to use varying sentence structure to help elicit more feeling from the writing. :)
Also the use of "you" was overused. Like in some instances "you" could have been replaced. This can also occur if you add more variations of sentences.
In general, I had to read some sentences twice because the grammar did interrupt my understanding of the text. Its ok when the grammar is lacking, but not bad enough to understand what is written. But once it becomes difficult to understand the actual writing, like yours is, improving grammar is really recommended.
The biases seemed oddly specific...? For an imagine story, that is... I wasn't really able to relate to a lot of them. I think I could only find one I could name, so improving on making it intriguing without making it specific is a must.
Because the imagery from the story was from a real nightmare, It's no surprise that it could have made a person squirm by its creepiness.
So I'll applaud you on being able to describe the nightmare as thoroughly as you did, if anything.
In conclusion, I feel if you improved on your grammar and use of varying sentences you would see a lot of improvement. In addition, future imagine stories should be less specified, so a more broad audience can relate to it! :)
I hope this helps! :)
NuttyChocolate
#2
Chapter 2: OMG, this story is really my style!! I love it, keep it up author-nim ^^
BangYoungji #3
Chapter 2: creepy but i like it <3
Kimjinchan #4
Chapter 1: creepy,if i was u authornim i would cry
Requiem07 #5
Thanks for the comment~ ^^ I really had that dream... but it included my friends and my crush replaced my ultimate bias~~ >< I woke up sweating that day~
JHNDAE
#6
Chapter 1: This is..... creepy... you made me afraid of dreaming about my bias.... ahahaha great story!!
gaebiiii
#7
Chapter 1: Woah.. this is scary and creepy..
blackmelody
#8
Chapter 1: Wow this is great!
curli91 #9
Chapter 1: Well. That was creepy. In a nice way though