Final
Loved You FirstI shoved my hand into the pockets of my blazer, shivering slightly at the cold breeze. It wasn't that far a walk from the bus stop to the school gates but for a girl who hated the cold, it was extremely frustrating.
He always waited at the school gates for me and today was no different. A small smile lit the corners of his lips as he saw me and he walked over, immediately taking of his own scarf and wrapping it around my neck.
"Min Ri-ah," he spoke, gently placing the scarf in place and tucking my hair underneath it, "you'll get a cold." Huang Zitao was hard to explain. We were friends but people always said we were something more.
When we got to the classroom I took off his scarf to held it out for Tao to take. He smiled lightly shaking his head. "It looks better on you anyway."
"Aish will you guys stop being so lovey dovey and sit down." Kai complained from his seat. Tao sheepishly rubbed the back of his head but did not reply as he took his seat behind me as I sat next to Kai. Kai was Tao's best friend. He hadn't liked me at first, I knew he didn't, he had told me so. I don't know when he started treating me kindly, if he ever did but somehow we were friends as well. Kai teased me that my feelings for Tao were obvious. I guess they were although I've never technically confessed.
As the bell rang our homeroom teacher came in and walking behind him was one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen.
"Quiet down." The teacher scolded the class who had begun gossiping about the new girl. "Class we have a new student joining us."
"Anyeonghaseyo, Jeonun Yerim imnida." As she spoke the class went silent, the girls stared at her in envy as the guys looked to her in awe. I couldn't help but glance at Tao, he too seemed to captivated by the girl.
"Take a seat." The teacher spoke as the girl walked towards the only empty seat next to Tao. She flashed a smile at Tao who smiled gently back. I looked away.
***
As usual I spotted Tao, leaning against the school gates, kicking his leg back and forth as he waited. I didn't call him, he would usually greet me first. He didn't notice me as I got closer and his mind seemed to be somewhere else.
"Tao!" I finally called, he looked up noticing me for the first time.
"Minri-ah? I didn't see you there."
"Ne, mianhe." I didn't even know why I was apologising.
"Have you seen Yerim?" Tao asked as we walked to class. I tried to hide my hurt feelings behind a smile as I shook my head. He was looking for her?
"I guess she's already in class then."
"Ne."
"Yerim-ssi." Tao spoke noticing the girl at her desk as we entered the classroom.
"Good morning Tao-ssi, Minri-ssi." She smiled nodding at me. I flashed her a smile back before sitting at my desk. Tao stood standing in front of Yerim as made conversation. I didn't want to listen.
"Yerim-ssi, you should eat lunch with us?" I caught the end of the conversation.
She looked to me for approval, she didn't want to intrude where she wasn't welcome. Yerim was a sweet girl which made it even harder to hate her.
"Ne, Yerim-ssi. Please join us." I offered secretly hoping she would still refuse the offer. I knew I was being selfish.
***
Lunch wasn't much fun for me. Tao was more interested in hearing about Yerim. They found out they both liked martial arts and chinese cinema and couldn't stop laughing and talking about topics that didn't interest me whatsoever. I excused myself half way through lunch without much of a protest from Tao. Why had I thought he wanted me to stay?
Finding myself on the steps to fire escape, I let the cold breeze hit me as I let out a sigh pulling at Tao's scarf around my neck. I hated the cold but I would rather be out here than inside.
"Yah Minri!" Kai called as he opened the door to the fire escape. I wondered how he found me here. Why had he even come to find me.
"Go away Kai!" I muttered leaning against the cold railing.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he leant on the railing beside me. I wanted to tell him to go away again but he looked at me with sincerity, something that was rare for Kai. I didn't speak for a few moments, thinking about everything.
"Am I being selfish with Tao?" I finally asked. Kai chuckled at my question. He wasn't sincere at all, jerk faced idiot.
"Bastard." I cursed turning to leave.
"No, no." He insisted pulling at my wrist. "I'm not laughing at you I promise."
"Then why the hell are you laughing?"
"Ummm" He hesitated, rubbing the back of his head as he tried to find the words, "It's ironic I guess."
"What is?"
"I was selfish just like you."
"Chincha?" His confession was surprising, he had never seemed like the type to fall for girls so easily and I hadn't seen much girls around him. He did get confessions but I knew he never let other girls close to him.
"There was this one girl who I would always see from afar. She was beautiful and kind. I really liked her. When she appeared in front of me again she liked someone else. I hated it. I because at least if she was angry at me she was thinking about me. I was a brat because I was jealous of someone that deserved her more than I did. I knew that. I'm still being selfish I guess but it's ok as long as she's beside me."
"That's a stupid story." I mumbled. Kai chuckled and ruffled my hair.
"I guess it is."
***
"Minri-ah!" Tao called catching up to me after lunch. I smiled slightly knowing he was still thinking of me.
"Want to come over and watch some movies with me and Yerim?" My smile faded. Of course it was Yerim, why had I thought otherwise.
"Umm... No thanks. I have things to do."
"Oh come on Minri-ah." He pouted and used his infamous aegyo on me.
"No" I laughed, "now go before you embarrass yourself."
"My aegyo is never embarrassing."
***
Over the next few weeks it became a habit to avoid Tao, I was too scared of his rejection, obviously Yerim was prettier and better suited to Tao than me. As much as it became habit for me to hide, it had become natural for Kai to find me, offering little excuse as to why he was there.
Kai had already found me on the rooftop and was seated next to me. My back leant against the cold wall and I closed my eyes.
"Are you tired?"
"Yes" I replied softly. Avoiding Tao was difficult when we had nearly every class together.
"Me too." I opened my eyes as he lay his head on my legs, I wanted to kick him off but was too tired to do so. "Your knees are boney." He muttered after a few moments. I let out a sigh of frustration as I took Tao's scarf from around my neck giving it to Kai as a pillow. Kai looked up at me, a soft smile lighting his lips.
"Thank you Minri."
***
It was midday on Saturday when someone knocked on my door. I looked up from the homework I had already given up on earlier and was merely staring at it to feel like I was spending my day productively. I stood up from my desk and went to see who was at my door.
"Kai?"
"Annyeong!" He smiled.
"What are you doing here?"
"It's my birthday."
"So. Happy birthday."
"But I want to celebrate."
"Then celebrate." I said about to shut the door on him, he stopped it with his foot and cursed as the heavy door hit his foot.
"I think you broke my foot."
"What the hell, Kai. That was your own fault. Now go away, I have homework to do."
"There's always Sunday." He said grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door, his foot was either miraculously better or he had been faking it.
***
I hate to admit it but hanging out with Kai was actually fun. He took me to a small cafe for lunch. He had paid since I had no time to get my wallet. Although I had been sarcastic at first we went on to talk about nearly everything from his adorable dogs he fed way too much to my dream to be a professional photographer. Kai was good that way, when he wasn't teasing or being plain rude he was actually a good guy. He even bought himself a birthday cake and insisted I sing him Happy Birthday. I complied but only because it was his birthday.
When we were leaving the cafe Kai paused noticing something across the street. I looked to see what he had seen and my mood immediately dampened. It was Tao and Yerim, they were obviously on a date, coming out of the cinema together. Tao was smiling widely as he talked to the beautiful girl beside him.
"Come on Minri, let's go say hi."
"What, no!"
Kai didn't listen, he grabbed my hand pulling me towards them. I stopped struggling once the couple noticed us.
"Kai, Minri!" Tao called suprised by our presence. His gaze landed on our entwined fingers and I quickly pulled my hand away from Kai's. I wanted to kill Kai for putting me in this situation.
"Are you two on a date?" Yerim asked. I looked to Kai who merely smiled brightly, the brat wasn't denying anything.
"Aniyo." I answered for him.
"What are you two doing then?" Tao asked, his voice somewhat rougher than usual. He wouldn't look at me and seemed to be angry with Kai as well.
"I don't know, what are we doing?" Kai joked turning to me.
"I should be getting home. I have a of homework to do." I excused my self before basically running away. Kai followed me home without a word. He knew I was upset, mostly at him and somewhat at my myself.
***
"Minri-ssi!" Yerim called catching up to me on my way to school.
"Good morning" My smile was genuine, no matter how much I wanted to hate the girl I couldn't. "How was your weekend?"
"It was good. A new action blockbuster came out and Tao went to see it with me. You should totally see it Minri, the graphics were amazing." I laughed at her enthusiasm, she really suited the side of Tao that I never seemed to match. She quietened down pulling on her bag straps with a knowing smile on her face.
"You and Kai look good together." I scoffed at her words.
"Kai and I are just friends." It was a miracle that Kai and I were still friends let alone anything more.
"Are you sure?" Yerim teased. I sighed a silent sigh at her question. It wasn't too long that I had been asked the same questions about my relationship with Tao. Everything had changed and maybe it was my fault, I was the one to distance myself first.
"What about you and Tao?" I hesitated to ask.
"Oh Chincha? People think that? No way." I was confused by her answer, it showed on my face as Yerim let out a chuckle. "Tao doesn't like me, he already told me so. He is just being friendly I guess. Besides I already have a boyfriend. He's back home but we talk every night on video chat."
"Chincha?" It wasn't surprising that Yerim had a boyfriend, she was so beautiful and sweet, it would be more surprising if she didn't. I shouldn't have thought that just because Tao liked her that they would get together, although she had said Tao didn't like her. Maybe I had built it all up in my head. I guess I was being foolishly insecure.
"Minri-ah." A voice spoke, I looked away from Yerim to see Tao standing in front of us.
"Umm..." Yerim awkwardly kicked her legs before turning to leave, "I forgot I had to...umm...go somewhere...so bye."
Tao waited for Yerim to leave before speaking.
"Do you like Kai?"
"What?" We hadn't really talked for a while and this was what he asked me. "No freakin way. That idiot annoys me to no end." I regretted my words as soon as I said them, Kai was more my friend these days than Tao was being. "Why do you care anyway?"
"Why do I care?" He was frustrated at the question, "do I really have to say it. I like you. I've liked you for ages, loved you even. Just because he loved you first doesn't mean he can have you. It's unfair."
"He loved me?" I asked confused, Kai loved me?
"I just confessed to you and your asking me about his feelings for you?" Tao spoke through gritted teeth, he was getting angry. I looked at Tao and let out a sigh. He had said the words I've been wanting to hear from him for so long but if only he had said them to me when I still loved him.
***
I found Kai on the roof, he was leaning on the railing and looked back at me when he heard the sound of the door opening.
"Minri-ah, what's wrong?"
"Tao confessed to me."
Kai flinched at the words but put on a smile. "Congrats, I'm so happy for you."
My eyes teared up as I thought about everything Kai had told me, I was the girl, the girl he wanted by his side, the girl he had fallen in love with. I was her.
"Minri!" He called as the tears ran down my face.
"I told him I had loved him...I told him that he should have confessed sooner... Maybe then... Then I could then I could return his feelings" I explained in between sobs.
"What are you saying Minri?"
"I'm saying... I think I like you."
He pulled me into a hug as soon as he heard my words.
"Don't cry" he softly spoke as he wrapped his arms tightly around the me, "you look ugly when you cry." I stifled a small laugh at this and leant my head on his chest, my hands clutching onto the back of his blazer. We stood like that for a long moment. It felt nice in his arms.
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