"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment." - Sarah Dessen

***

I think we’re all secretly hopeless romantics.

I am too, even though you’d probably have to kill me for me to confess that to anyone.

At 25 years old, youth seems to have left me a long time ago, and along with its departure were my wishful dreams of meeting my prince charming and finding my happily ever after. That’s the problem with reading too many romance novels and indulging in all those dramas - they construct unrealistic scenarios in your mind, planting little seeds of hope that leave you waiting for your own dramatic, passionate love story to unfold.

You find yourself looking up at the slightest sound of footsteps, peeking around the little corners on the street; subconsciously hoping for that special someone to show up. Hoping to run into someone and have him catch you as you slowly fall, the world coming to a slow stop as you get lost in his gaze… after all, that’s how it always happens in the shows, isn’t it?

But shows are made up of nothing but lies, I’m telling you. That’s a slice of wisdom that I’ve gained after all my years of unrealistic dreaming.

And so came the “relationships aren’t really my thing” and “I’m not really keen on getting attached” excuses; convenient phrases that rescued me from prying, overly-sympathetic eyes at every gathering and family reunion. The funny thing is, I actually came to believe myself after a while. Perhaps, just perhaps, I’m really fine alone. Perhaps we’re not all meant to have a special someone. Perhaps there just aren’t enough ‘happily-ever-after’s to go around.

And so I gave up as time passed, my heart slowly ceasing to yearn for that unknown someone’s appearance. The desire to fall hopelessly in love seemed to take a backseat as reality took over, and I busied myself with things and people that left me with no time to even think about romance. The excuses stayed with me over the years; default responses that soon convinced everyone around me that I was one of those strongly independent, modern females who intended to live the rest of my life as a happy spinster in a house full of cats for company.

I didn’t mind it, partially because I knew that probably would become my reality.

But deep inside me, beneath the excuses and that perfectly practiced show of aloofness, I never ceased to wonder if I would ever meet someone who would show me what it meant to love.

See? Told you I was secretly a hopeless romantic.

***

“Alright, who’s your ideal among the guys? Choose one!”

“No way, that’s just weird - they’re all friendzoned!”

“Just choose someone! The one you’re most likely to date. Or fine, the one who strikes you as a potentially good catch.”

I laughed amid the ruckus, taking another sip of my drink. It was a girls’ night out with a few of my closest friends back from my university days, when one of them randomly suggested to play truth - it wasn’t much of a game, since we already knew pretty much everything about one another. Till now, at least. The few of us were part of a wider circle of friends and we’ve never spoken about the guys, but tonight was one of the rare occasions when the guys weren’t here, and that gave us enough freedom to talk about them.

Bommie, my closest in the group, suddenly quipped, “Fine, I admit I’ve always thought Top was pretty cute.”

A round of excited shrieks went around the table at this sudden confession. Bommie blushed fiercely and raised a finger to her lips, glaring sternly at all of us, “Circle of trust girls, this better stay here! If this gets out to Top I swear I’ll murder you with my own hands. Anyway I don’t like him, I just think he’s cute, that’s all.”

“That’s how it always starts, sweetie,” teased Chaerin, whose eyes were twinkling with amusement.

Bommie flushed a deeper shade of red before delivering a quick whack to the blonde girl’s head, earning her a satisfying yelp of pain. “Enough about me!” She stated, her eyes quickly scanning the table till they fell on me.

“Dara! Your turn - who do you not mind dating among the guys?”

I blinked, somewhat awkwardly. Silence fell upon the table as three pairs of eyes stared expectantly at me, awaiting my answer. Cocking my head to the side, I let out a little laugh and shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. I did have an answer in mind, but I didn’t want them to think too much of it and end up being teased the way Bommie was.

“Jiyong?”

My reply sounded more like a question as I left it hanging in the air. The girls nodded slightly as they considered my answer - my indifference must have worked, since they quickly skipped past me and went on to quiz Chaerin about her choice. I breathed an inner sigh of relief, and took another swig of my drink.

To be honest, I don’t even know why I was feeling nervous. It was all in the name of fun anyway, and no one meant anything serious with their replies. Bommie didn’t like Top for real, and neither did I have any romantic feelings for Jiyong - truth be told I barely even knew the guy on a personal basis. We were simply friends that hung out in group outings from time to time since we were both from the same clique, but that was it. We’ve never had any deep, personal conversations, and neither have we been alone together.

But even so, he was a good guy. That, I could tell.

Don’t ask me why, I wouldn’t be able to explain it - it’s just one of those things that your gut tells you and you believe without a doubt. I’ve always thought really well of him since the first day we met, but that was it.

I just think he’s nice. That’s all. Really.

***

First chapter's up (:

P.s. Not exactly related to the story, but I'll be sharing some quotes that I like with the start of every chapter. I have a habit of collecting all these little quotes, and I thought it'll be nice to share. Hope you'll like them too (: