One year. One year that flew so fast that I don’t even remember most of the things that happened. 3 months were lost in the darkness. 9 months were lost in the light. I kept getting better and worse at the same time. Sometimes it was great but then all of sudden I returned to that state of isolation. Sometimes I did what I wanted, my mind was under my control but then it escaped it’s cage. I feel sorry for the people around me. They have to deal with my constantly changing mood. It went that far that I thought about wanting to end it, that miserable life of mine but I stopped thinking about it after a while. The only thing I can hope for this year is that it will be better, for me and others.

“Hey! Are you okay? You seem to be spacing out this whole day.” Thanks for noticing Sunny.

“I am fine. Just thinking about, you know stuff.”

“Oh. Then stop thinking about them!” Jeez.

“Bye Sunny~!” Hahahaha~!

“Yah! Don’t runaway!” I will do whatever I want.

Lately I think I should be an actress. My mood is once again going down but this time it’s more serious. But girls don’t know about it. For the past month I was acting saying that I am good but that’s not the truth. I want to tell but I don’t want to be a burden to them. I know I am not but still.

***

“It’s raining so much today, don’t you think?” My manager said but I didn’t paid attention to it.

“Huh~? What did you said?” Don’t look at me like that man.

“That it’s raining much more today than it did before. “ Oh~ sorry?

“Yeah it does.” And all I get is a sigh.

Riding in such a weather is dangerous in Korea. People don’t care about those speed limits. Shame on you people. I don’t know why but the rain makes me safe and warm. Weird Taeyeon, weird.

“Do you want to eat something before going back to the dorm?”

“Do I? You know it’s hard for me to do that.” Stupid phobia. “But I feel like doing weird things today, so why not?” Yeah really stupid. Hopefully I won’t have a panic attack.

***

“That was good. Have to remember this place.”

“Yeah it was.” That was really good actually. I actually were so focused on the food that I didn’t paid attention to others. That was refreshing.

“Can you wait for me here? I will get the car. If it’s too much.”

“I think I will be alright.” I really think that. Surprisingly I do.

“If you say so” Smiling. Smiling to reassure you and myself that I will be okay. 

Rain pours even more now. I hope he won’t be sick. Even though it’s raining there are many people in here. Walking, talking, smiling, laughing. I want to be like that again, someday maybe. Suddenly I feel something smelling and pawing my left leg.

“Yah! Stop that Maerin! I am so sorry!”

“It’s alright. Hi there. How are you doing?” What a cute dog.

“I am really sorry for that. I think she does everything for me to not take her for her  injection today.”

“That’s okay really.” I just smiled at a stranger. What is happening with me?

“Well we have to go now. Have a nice day.” I think I will.

“Thank you. You too.” I am smiling at a stranger. I think I might cry from happiness.

With them gone I am once again alone. Just great. I will just keep looking at the ground and stay still. Well that actually is not right.

“I am sorry. I didn’t noticed you. Sorry.” Stranger just didn’t noticed me. Great.

“What is that?” Great now I am talking to myself.

It wouldn’t hurt to go, right? Yeah, I guess.

 “Hi there.” What a cute little pet shop.

“Hello.” So many animals.

***

After being there for 15 minutes, I am lost in those two sparkling black eyes. It’s stupid Tae you shouldn’t do that. But, but it’s so.

“He likes you and I think you like him too.”

“It’s a he?” She just told you stupid.

“Yes it is. It’s a mini poodle.” Mini Poodle? So cute~.

No Taeyeon! It’s such a bad idea! No, no, no, no!

“Can I?” Stupid Taeyeon.

“You want him? Of course! If you really feel like he’s the one. Remember that dog’s are no toys.”

***

“He will kill me. Don’t you think dog? Wait! I didn’t gave you a name yet~!” I am so forgetful.

What should I name him? ...So hard to think of anything!

“It’s hard, you know? Picking your name is hard.” Did he just answered my by barking? So cute!

“Hmm~” What will it be~. Did I just? It’s such a perfect name! “I will name you Ginger! My Ginger boy!” It suits him so well. Perfect.

“Taeyeon!” Oh no. “ What is that? Tell me it’s not yours.”

“Well, how do I say it. It’s mine?” Don’t scream at me, please.

“Just, just get in.” He’s angry.

***

“ Is that? OH MY GOD GIRLS! WE HAVE NEW BLOOD IN HERE!” I think I went deaf, thanks Yuri.

“It’s so cute! Hi there!”

“When did you get it?”

“I want one too!”

“I want to take a picture of him, so get out of my way!”

“What’s his name? Is it cute? I want to know! Tell me.”

“Can I be its daddy?”

“I want a picture of him too! Can you send me it?”

Well Ginger welcome to my life. Hope they won’t kill you.

 

Author Note: So that's the end. I feel kind of empty 'cause it ends here. Sorry for any typos (if there are any). Bye~! Have a nice day~! ^-^