Footsteps pattered against the ground as the busy streets filled with people going about their day. Going places, doing things… they all had something to accomplish, unlike him. He was meandering along the filled sidewalks with no set destination, just the thoughts of getting away. After a while, the same people become incredibly boring or painful to be around. But there was no more freedom at home than there was on the streets. At home he could be himself, but out here, out here Baekhyun was no one. Hidden beneath a hood, sunglasses and a cap, it almost looked suspicious had it not been for the appropriate weather conditions. It was a bright yet chilly day, an easy write off for how the idol was dressed. The most important thing was remaining inconspicuous. So long as no one saw him, he’d be fine with that.

He rounded the corner sharply, looking for a shop he’d been to many times before. Shopping therapy was easy when he knew he wasn’t actually going to be buying anything. Just as he walked around the corner, he crashed into a young woman being dragged along by her boyfriend, resulting in her dropping what she had been carrying. Bending down quickly, and mumbling a quick sorry, he started to pick up the items she had dropped. Looking at everything she had been carrying, he thought back to his girlfriend in high school, wondering what she had been up to. He handed her some of the items he had started to pick up, and the moment he locked eyes with you, the world stopped. Everything came to a grinding halt. He hadn’t seen you since he had joined as a trainee, and you have never spoken to him since the day you broke up.

He rounded the corner sharply, looking for a class he’d been to many times before. It was just within the first few weeks of school. Everything seemed so new, just like the new thing blocking his way. Falling to the floor, and sending the item he bumped into flying, Baekhyun sat there, stunned for a moment as he put two and two together. Ignoring his things, he realized he had knocked a girl over, and immediately went to help her pick up her things and get up, before going back to his own items.

“Ah mianhe! I didn’t mean to do that! I’m so sorry!” He said, offering you a helping hand. After lifting you to your feet, what a light feather you were, he bent over and collected everything you had been carrying. Finally, the moment he locked eyes with you, the world stopped. Everything came to a grinding halt. Byun Baekhyun was sure that he had found the one, and god you were beautiful. “I’m Baekhyun… sorry but, who are you?” With a little tilt of his head, he decide to play up the flower boy side of him, because god be damned if he were to let you get away.

“_______.” You replied with a rosy tint to your cheeks. Instictively, you hugged your items tighter to your chest, avoiding eye contact ever so slightly with the flirtatious good looking guy in front of you. “I should have watched where I was going, sorry.”

“No! No, definitely not your fault. Hey, I feel really bad about sending you flying like that, if you aren’t busy after school, I’d really like to treat you to some bubbletea, you know, to make up for all this.” Baekhyun had his game face on. Normally, he wouldn’t pounce so fast but he didn’t think he’d be able to find a girl like this ever again. Albeit unlikely to get a positive response from you, he was going to continue trying until you said yes.

“Sure… I’d really like that. But I have to go, class and all. Meet me here after school.”

His heart clenched as his glasses slid down his face. The shock that had hit him paralyzed him until he saw the look on your face. Your features contorted from apologetic to horrified as the colour drained. Obviously you recognized him, Baekhyun had once made you the happiest girl ever but that was before he decided that you were not as important as a music career. Quickly, you reached for the contents in his hand, pulling them away and losing your balance ever so slightly, falling into him as the bag came to you. With quick reflexes, Baekhyun caught you and slid his sunglasses back to where they belonged.

“Oppa! Come closer!” You reached out and tried to get Baekhyun to come sit on your side of the booth at your bubble tea place. Ever since your first date there, you and Baekhyun had constantly been returning, at least once a week if you two didn’t go every day. Now this relationship was just lapping itself, having just passed the year mark a few weeks ago. Things had changed over the course of the year, you, life, and most importantly, Baekhyun.

You were madly in love with him, and sometimes, you could see he felt the same for you. Sometimes. Recently though, things had started to change. He started becoming obsessed with the idea of becoming an idol, a singer. You loved his voice, you were sure he could do it and you supported him completely! But the more he thought about it, the closer he became to taking that audition, the more he got stuck in his head, thinking. It made you lonely. You never thought you could be jealous of music, but you weren’t really willing to share with him. It was too early in your maturity levels to process something like a real commitment and what love truly was.

“Oppa!” You called once more, with no luck. This time, you decided to grab his hand, jolting him out of his reverie as you repeated yourself one more time. “Oppa!” The final call had been considerably louder. People from tables around you had started to look over and there were even a few glares. You didn’t care, Baekhyun was transferring to your side of the table, and that’s all that mattered to you. You smiled as he pulled you into his arms, kissing your temple and allowing you to finish your bubble tea before walking you home.

Baekhyun held you for a moment, revelling in the sensation he once was allowed to experience every day. He missed it; he desperately missed how you felt in his arms. He regretted doing anything that caused you pain, that caused the rift between the two of you to grow that wide. He needed it. This sensation kept him up at night. The dreams, ideas, thoughts of what could have been plagued him to the point of insomnia on some nights. The ache in his chest was very much real, and it felt like a stabbing now that he momentarily got to relive the moment.

What he wouldn’t give to go back. To rectify the situation and make sure that you had truly been the happiest girlfriend ever. There was no time machine though, and it was long over now. All he had now were his memories, this nostalgia that was washing him away with the crowd of people that passed by. Although rooted in the moment, he felt as though his spirit had drifted away. Just like he had drifted away from you. If only he could coax it out of you once more. A bright smile, the way you called him oppa, anything that would hint that the happiness you had experienced with him was very much alive and hidden inside you. He’d kill for it if he had to. He’d wrap his arms around you and kiss you in public if he had to. But the moment was gone as you pulled yourself away from his arms and stood up again; followed by him standing up as well, so as to not create an awkward moment.

“Baekhyun!” you squealed after class, running to him at full speed. You jumped into his waiting arms. Lifting you off the ground, Baekhyun spun you around, kissing you passionately as you both celebrated the fleeting moment. He had gotten into SM Entertainment as a trainee. Though you were quite sure he would be upgraded and debuting very soon. Your Baekhyun was a talented man.

Despite the onlookers, you ignored the world and gave him a passionate kiss. Your lips colliding against each other in a competition to see who was most happy, who could display their happiness the most through the kiss. He had won and left you speechless, but you weren’t all too surprised. It was meant to be his moment. You could feel his heart beating frantically through his ribs as the adrenaline from finding out was still pumping through his system. But you were ecstatic because the person you loved was happy and fulfilling your dreams. All you dreamed of at this point was to stay with him forever and be Mrs. Byun Baekhyun. It didn’t matter if he was a celebrity or not because you loved him the same either way and he knew that. He loved you for that. You loved him. You were sure you loved him. You loved him with your heart and soul. He was going to make you the happiest person ever, but oh how the teenaged heart is fickle. How the teenaged brain has so much left to learn.

He reached out to stop you, to say your name. Baekyhun made direct eye contact with you, even though the dark sunglasses were in your way. It was obvious that you knew that he was about to say something, that he wanted to talk. But instead, you turned to your boyfriend, the person you had chosen to attempt to replace Baekhyun with. Hugging his arm like you had once done with the idol before you, you gave him that bright smile instead, cutting off Baekhyun as you called someone else oppa. It ripped through his chest. It ached more than the nostalgia and the dreams because it proved you were someone else’s and you were not coming back to him. You ignored him. You were turning around and walking away from him even though he had tried to stop you. If only he had stopped you the first time.

Sobs erupted from you as you sat across him in your bubble tea spot. Like always, the two of you sat in a secluded booth near the rear of the building, but this time it was different. There were no smiles or cuddles, not even drinks; just tears and napkins and awkward silences that filled the room even though the direction of where this conversation was headed was obvious. Baekhyun felt hollow, empty and confused. He didn’t understand what he did wrong. All he wanted was his dream and his girl, and he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t have both. Whereas you wanted your boy and your happiness, but you were not getting both and one suddenly became much more important than the other.

You felt neglected. Baekyhun never came to see you anymore, and you weren’t even within the top five priorities. You had been pushed to the backburner and in your youth were demanding more than he could provide. Needy and clingy, you who didn’t understand love were going off your desires and unattainable needs. Sobbing, you apologized repeatedly, unsure of what else to say since everything that needed to be said hung silently over your heads. But he wasn’t apologizing, he wasn’t trying to stop you or promise that he’d fix anything. There was only so many times you could apologize without wanting to leave, and when you finally started to get up he didn’t move. So you walked away, you left him behind and you decided to continue on with your life, knowing that you’d always quietly support him. But you were not going to be able to do it from by his side.

Unfortunately, Baekhyun had seen this view once already. It didn’t hurt any less this time, even though he had already experienced it before. It hurt just as bad. His heart still felt like it was being ripped out. He still wished he could go back and fix it. But if this was how to make you happy, he’d quietly go; he’d perform and find his happiness on stage. Unlike you, he knew what it meant to love someone; he’d learned it from being so far away for so long. You probably had learned it too by now. The only thing Baekhyun hadn’t learned was that the moment was over, the romance had died, and it was over. So long as it hurt, it would always be alive for him.