TITLE: (4/5)

It’s straight to the point and it really relates to the idea of the story. From the stories I’d usually find in here, it is quite original, plus the idea that goes with it. It also gives off questions like… what to do with the “banger”, really, on that other wall? It did give off that comedic feel, to me, that is. But then, on my first impression, I don’t feel any sense of wanting to read this, or it isn’t those kinds of titles I’d pick up in a bookstore.

DESCRIPTION + FOREWORD: (3/5)

The description had a bit of typos in it, like “relationship hiatus. You missed the ending quotation mark for that. Also, you misspelled “somewhere”, making it somehwere.

You kind of spilled a detail, or main idea of the story, that Kyungsoo might have known this guy somewhere. Now the readers won’t ask what Kai might be to Kyungsoo, like “had they just met each other?”.

I like how you put in that last sentence to your description, though. In a steamy mix of passion and humor, Do Kyungsoo dishes out a hilarious tale of exasperation at its finest.

I have no complaints on the foreword since it’s your notes.

LAYOUT: (8/10):

What was tagged in your story was that it was romcom. From your layout, it is filled with light and pastel colors, and it fits that with the romcom aura, which is nice.

This is a rated fic, however, and looking at the poster, and if I hadn’t seen that [M], I would have judged this to be an innocent story, since Kai and Kyungsoo are (really, innocently) draping their arms over each other like that. But that brick texture is really nice and appropriate, though, since this talks about a wall. The little aqua-ish strip at the bottom kind of looks awkward, though.

I had no problems with the font styles used.

PLOT: (14/15)

I couldn't say much about this part, though, since it just started.

The story had one definite plot so far and that was how Kyungsoo dealt with his neighbor. There aren’t any confusing side stories yet. This is so far, well done, though.

No romance could be brought out from this, though. After all, it’s just 4 chapters so far. But the comedy part was nicely done in here.

Since this is ongoing, that was an excellent cliffhanger on the latest chapter, and for the readers it’s really something worth looking forward to by them.

ORIGINALITY: (10/10)

So across the rated stories in here, I’d say this is really original. The idea of a Peeping Kyungsoo is what made this original to me.

FLOW: (8/10)

He pushed all the thoughts of bringing back his O again and drifted back to sleep. – Maybe this is just out of my knowledge, but what is this “O”? Then I read along Chapter 1 and it so happens to be that you-know-what (lol there are minors here). Yes I was quite confused on that part, since there wasn’t any introduction like “his you-know-what, or what he calls his O.”.

One more that I can’t seem to absorb, though, and is still questioning me, was that Kyungsoo was complaining about the night noises before, and then suddenly… just suddenly, he’s anticipating for the night noises Kai would do. I think I just missed a detail when I was reading through the chapters.

Aside from those above, each event was described well and I could go along with them.

CHARACTERIZATION: (8/10)

When you introduced the characters, you gave each of them a distinct role, not leaving questions to as who exactly they are. Not too many characters, either, which is good because it’s easier to identify each one of them.

And from what I’ve mentioned in the Flow, Kyungsoo complaining about those night noises and then being giddy to peep through that hole so suddenly also falls in here.

So far, though, I’m having questions about the roles of Kyungsoo’s best friends, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. I did say that they have distinct roles, but Baekhyun and Chanyeol seem to be similar in these chapters, so far. But then since it’s still ongoing, who knows, maybe Chanyeol will do some kind of plot twist (why did I point out Chanyeol you may ask lol I’m sorry this is coming from a Chanyeol biased person //bricked).

WRITING STYLE: (10/10)

I really have to be frank but your writing style is amazing, what the heck! They can also be easily understood and that’s nice, too.

GRAMMAR + SPELLING: (13/15)

There aren’t that much of major errors here in the grammar part.

This was what Seoul sounds like. – Considering that Kyungsoo just moved in Seoul, and having just witnessed on the other wall, it’d be “This is what Seoul sounds like”.

He lifted it carefully with great admire, - He lifted it carefully with great admiration

And here are your mistakes in what I considered just typos, maybe.

He'd been missing reachong s now. – He’d been missing reaching s now.

He didn't want to be curhsed by those walls – He didn’t want to be crushed by those walls.

My noisy animals, er, I mean, neigbors! – My noisy animals, err, I mean, neighbors!

He couldn't see cery clearly - naw, men, he wished he could see how hot was Kai – He couldn’t see very clearly – naw, man, he wished he could see how hot Kai was.

Roling his eyes, he opened the door – Rolling his eyes, he opened the door

I ate chesse balls. – I ate cheese balls.

she pressed on – he pressed on (since Junmyeon’s the speaker)

One day, he got into the peephole,mtaking the chance to see him going to his apartment. - One day, he got into the peephole, taking the chance to see him going to his apartment.

E only thing he heard was the sound of snoring. – The only thing he heard was the sound of snoring

Kyungsoo scrambled to my feet, Chanyeol and Baekhyun following my back. – Kyungsoo scrambled to his feet, Chanyeol and Baekhyun following his back.

ENJOYMENT: (10/10)

I could really see the comedy in Kyungsoo’s thoughts and I really do enjoy how his thoughts were depicted. What I enjoyed most was Junmyeon and Kyungsoo’s conversation about those night noises.

TOTAL: (88/100) = 88%

© arcadiyan
{ thank you for requesting! }