Jongin’s hand ghosts over the folded piece of paper, uncertainty clouds his judgement of reading it. The letter had come in a parcel which now lay on the floor abandoned. It’s contents - some Korean foods and novelties that Jongin hadn’t seen since he moved to the States were now strewn across the room. He had moved two years ago to pursue a career in dancing - in hip-hop mainly. In his first year he had perfected his English so he could speak it fluently with few faults. Surprisingly, he became popular quickly, his stage name, Kai, becoming a household name. Aside from dancing, Jongin also delved into rapping from time to time, mostly in English, however he sometimes rapped in Korean, making his name also known in South Korea.

He left for America with his mother, leaving behind his siblings Taeyeon and Jondae behind along with his father. From what he knew, the two had become singers, signing on with SMent. Thinking about SMent made Jongin’s mind wander to thoughts about Kyungsoo, his now ex-boyfriend. The two had broken apart when they followed their dreams - Kyungsoo becoming an idol and Jongin obviously moving away. According to Jongdae, Kyungsoo had moved on, whereas Jongin hadn’t - not really.

Away from his thoughts, Jongin looks back at the note and turns it over, revealing a message written in perfect Hangul, just like the parcel.

 

“Hello Jongin-ah,

I saw you on TV last week,

your dancing has improved yet still captivates me.

Here’s my last taste of home for you - the last song I wrote for you.

~Kyungsoo.”

Jongin blinks a few times before unfolding the paper slowly - savouring the smooth yet rough feel of it, the engravings of where the pen had written on the paper. He finally manages to unfold it and read the first line of lyrics - mostly written in Hangul with the odd English words written messily here and there.

 

~

“You’re so great, not even batting an eye.”

 

Kyungsoo stared at Jongin with curiosity as he danced, watching every movement, wondering how he did it in great detail. He was intrigued at how the younger moved his body flawlessly and with ease. How he rolled his body in a tantalizing way, teasing almost. What he found the most intriguing was how Jongin’s eyes showed determination, rarely blinking.

“How do you do that?” Kyungsoo asked, head tilted slightly.

Jongin stopped dancing and turned to Kyungsoo, “Do what?”

“Dance as well as you do.

Jongin chuckled and shrugged, “It comes naturally.”

 

~

“All eyes follow you and they say many things like this and that but you say ‘I don’t care’.”

 

It was at their high-school talent show where Jongin and Kyungsoo showcased their talents. Jongin, like the whole audience, stood up and clapped once Kyungsoo had hit a high note and bowed, rounding off his performance. To make it extra special for the couple, Jongin threw a white rose which Kyungsoo caught, goofily smiling and blushing a faint pink hue.

When Jongin performed, the room was hushed, all eyes following him. People whispered to each other, some things good and others bad. Jongin looked at Kyungsoo and mouthed, “I don’t care.”

 

~

“You’re an artist who threw away a normal, beige coloured life. You will receive love and sometimes criticism as well.”

 

Jongin stood at the entrance of the airport, his carry on bag clutched tightly in his left hand. His mother stood behind him, hand on shoulder to reassure her son. The Kim family exchanged many hugs, tears were shed and the rare exchange of email addresses happened.

Jongin could handle the farewells of his family and waved goodbye to them. But when Kyungsoo came, Jongin found himself biting back some tears. All Kyungsoo did was smile, hug Jongin and whisper, “People may hate on you - but don’t give up,” in his ear.

 

~

“Even if you don’t have a golden trophy you are beautiful, you were born this way.”

 

One night in the summer, Jongin and Kyungsoo sat watching the sunset, taking in the beams of purplish sky and admiring it’s beauty. Their hands linked with their heads resting against each other’s.

“The sky’s almost as captivating as your eyes,” Jongin said in a dreamy tone, squeezing Kyungsoo's hand slightly.

Kyungsoo laughed softly and ruffled Jongin’s hair, “Well, it’s beauty nearly matches yours.”

“Awww, I love you Kyungie.”

“I love you too Jonginnie.”

 

~

“Oh my gosh, the charm that you only have - you can do anything you want.”

 

On their first date Jongin pulled out all the stocks, every single one of them. Since his father owned a highly popular restaurant, Jongin made sure he reserved the best table and lined it with a snow white table cloth. In the centre of the table was a tall, thin vase which held a white, pink and red rose, spiralled together. Throughout the night Kyungsoo marvelled at Jongin’s undeniable charm. The two joked about the odd mutual topics, showing the undeniable chemistry between the two.

At the end of the night, Kyungsoo kissed Jongin on the cheek and smiled, “I had a fun night, Prince Charming.”

 

~

“You’re so awesome, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God!”

 

~

“That’s just simple, the leading role of my life is me. Let’s lightly skip over the rumours but let’s remember warnings with a thankful heart.”

 

Jongin and Kyungsoo’s first argument was based on a rumour that Chanyeol, Jongin’s best friend had told him.

“Rumour has it,” Jongin yelled, not facing his boyfriend, “That you’re sleeping with Yifan!”

Kyungsoo blinked before huffing, “I didn’t! He’s gross.”

“Well that’s not what everyone else is saying.”

“And you’re going to believe them,” Kyungsoo hissed, turning Jongin’s head so they were making awkwardly angry eye contact, “Over me? Your boyfriend?”

“Maybe I am!” Jongin retorted, walking out and slamming the door behind him, leaving a Kyungsoo biting back tears.

 

~

“You’re just a superstar who threw away a normal, beige coloured life.”

 

~

“It’s not because you’re pretty, you want to live life meaningfully.”

 

“How do you want to live your life Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked, lazily led on the grass, staring up at the cloud as they rolled past slowly.

Jongin led there and thought about the question before shrugging, “Meaningfully.”

Kyungsoo turned and stared at Jongin, “What?”

Jongin also turned to Kyungsoo, “I want to live life meaningfully.”

Kyungsoo smiled and poked Jongin in a teasing way, “You sound smart.”

Jongin pouted in return, “I am smart….”

 

~

“High fashion or any kind of gem looks shabby next to your existence.

Oh my gosh, oh please stop! You’re dazzling!”

 

Kyungsoo made a twirling motion with a finger, “Twirl for me Jonginnie.”

Jongin smirked as he did a twirl, one identical from his ballet days, “Look good?”

Kyungsoo laughed and clapped his hands, “Baek’s really good at outfit designing.”

For his SMent audition, Jongin enlisted Baekhyun to help him with his outfit. The older had dressed him in a tight fitting black t-shirt paired with some loose jeans with a silver jacket that almost shimmered.

“You’re so dazzling,” Kyungsoo sang, smirking in return.

 

~

“Even if you don’t have a gold trophy you are beautiful, you were born that way. Oh my gosh, the power only you have no-one can come close.”

 

~

“Oh wow, in this world, it’s so great.”

 

Kyungsoo allowed Jongin to slide his shirt off his milky white shoulders whilst deepening the kiss, his arms threading around Jongin’s neck, pulling him closer. The kiss was deepened when Jongin’s shirt was torn away hungrily by Kyungsoo, their tongues dancing in a dance of fiery passion. When Kyungsoo lowered his hands from Jongin’s back, the couple reached the point of no return - not that they minded.

Kyungsoo snuggled into Jongin, his arms s around the younger’s waist. His mind in his own world that he shared with Jongin - their own little sanctuary.

 

~

“Your confidence is perfect.”

 

Jongin danced with ease, his hips rolling to the beat of the music. Although he knew nothing about the genre of dance, he still danced with alluring confidence. Kyungsoo wanted to see how his boyfriend performed outside his comfort zone. Unsurprisingly Jongin danced as if it were hip-hop or ballet, perfectly. When Jongin had finished, Kyungsoo smiled and clapped, “You have unimaginable confidence.”

Jongin could only smile sheepishly, “I learnt from the best - you.”

 

~

“Oh wow, in this world it’s so great. Your confidence is perfect.

High fashion or any kind of gem looks shabby next to your existence. Oh my gosh, oh please stop! You’re so dazzling!

Even if you don’t have a golden trophy, you are beautiful, you were born this way. Oh my gosh, the charm that only you have”

 

~

“- you can do anything you want.”

 

“I’m scared Soo,” Jongin breathed, shaking in nervousness, “What if I mess up?”

Kyungsoo linked their hands and smiled, “You’ll do fine Jongin, you always do amazing - always.”

The younger’s shaking calmed down slightly and he managed to return the smile, “Thanks Soo.”

Kyungsoo kissed him lightly on the lips, “Remember, you can do anything you want.”

Jongin’s smile relaxed more and the shaking died down as Kyungsoo enveloped him in his arms. Although the older was smaller, Jongin found himself seeking protection and finding it whenever Kyungsoo hugged him. It was when Kyungsoo hugged him, kissed him or even the simple holding of hands, did Jongin really feel safe and forget about his worries.

 

~

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.”

 

Jongin imagines Kyungsoo singing the last few lines as if he were rewatching the high-school show. Replaying all the emotions he felt then. Jongin smiles when Kyungsoo looks and at him and smiles back. He’s in the perfect world again, the world he and Kyungsoo had created together. Only accessible to them, and only enjoyed by them. He enjoys the thought for a while before a knock at the door forces him to open his eyes and realise that Kyungsoo isn’t there. He’s in Korea, probably forgotten about Jongin. Jongin groans and shouts, “I’m coming!” quickly before grabbing his key from his bedside cabinet. He opens the door and Kyungsoo stands there with a goofy smile plastered onto his face, “Hello Jongin-ah.”

Jongin blinks a few times, expecting it to be wishful thinking and Kyungsoo wasn’t actually there before reverting back to Korean, “Hyung?”

Kyungsoo’s smile widened and he gave a small chuckle and proceeded to hug Jongin, “I came back to see if there was any way I could convince you to come home with me.”