A/N: A huge thank you to all of you who subscribed to the first chapter! Here's the final part. Also, to those of you who are shocked speechless by Siwon's behavior: I am too. I swear, Siwon's one of my favorite SuJu members, but I couldn't think of anyone better for the part. Seriously, Romeo used to be Heechul (that worked out disastrously, and I couldn't continue writing under that pretense. XD

If you like this parody, you might also like my other oneshots "I'm King of the World!" (jongkey, a Titanic parody) and "Little Pink Bunny Hat" (kyumin, a "Little Red Riding Hood" parody which will be posted soon).

Reviews will make my day completely! Enjoy~ :)

***

The word soon spread that the Capulet Prince Taemin had been…kidnapped! Of course, it did not escape the ears of “the great Siwon” either. He immediately jumped onto his pure white horse and galloped north to Pink Pony Meadows, where the first thing he saw was a blue pony. A purple one trotted next to it (there was not a single pink one in sight, and this rather baffled Siwon).

“Good morning, Prince!” the blue one whinnied. “I am Donghae, and he is Eunhyuk.” The purple pony waved a hoof awkwardly in the air.

“What brings you here?” Eunhyuk asked.

Siwon cleared his throat and said gallantly, “I am here to speak with your Prince, Onew!”

“…Oh,” Eunhyuk said. “Is that it?”

“Well, good luck then,” Donghae finished and both turned and walked away.

“HOW DARE THEY WALK OUT ON THE GREAT SIWON?!”

After several hours of wandering aimlessly through the sunlit, grassy meadows and meeting pink bunnies and pretty butterflies and even a few unicorns (but no pink ponies), Siwon finally found Onew sleeping under a willow tree. He then spent another hour waking the prince up. He finally did by pulling out a bugle horn from Who-Knows-Where, putting it right next to the Prince’s head, and blowing it as hard as he could into his ear.

Onew yawned and stretched. “Awww…I wanted to sleep some more…”

“You! I demand to know where you’ve taken the prince!”

The boy stared at him through half-lidded eyes and pointed to himself in confusion. “Me…?”

“You kidnapped him, didn’t you?!”

“Nope.” Onew turned around and started snoring again.

“Hey! Don’t fall asleep again!” Siwon grabbed the man’s collar and shook him. “If you didn’t do it, then help me find him!”

“Who?” came the lethargic voice.

Siwon’s right eye started twitching again. “The prince. Taemin.”

Suddenly Onew’s eyes shot wide open. “Taemin?! Uwahhh! He’s so awesome! Have you seen him dancing before? He’s SO GOOD. AND he gives me chicken! Man, I love that guy, he’s like my best friend EVAR!”

 Siwon was silent for a moment before deciding to ignore this outburst. “He’s been kidnapped, and now we must go on an epic quest to save him.”

“Oh. … Oh no! Whatever shall we do?”

“Who do you think might have done it?”

Onew made a weird facial expression. His “thinking very deeply one”, probably. “Ummm…I dunno, but the great wolf probably would.”

“You mean The Great Wolf, the awe-inspiringly powerful guardian of all of Fantasy Land, who sees all, knows all, and is capable of all?”

“Yeah…unless you know of some other wolves around here?”

Siwon ignored him. “It’s ingenious! We shall go now!”

And so, they went on a quest to find The Great Wolf. Onew, by the way, had called Donghae and Eunhyuk and two were now using the ponies as rides (no one knew where Siwon’s white steed had wandered off to during all the commotion).

Now, in the middle of Fantasy Land was a magical lake called The Lake of Jell-O (it wasn’t actually made of jello). It separated the two nations of Capulet (to the west) and Montague (to the east). And you see, the Wolf Throne was in the very southwest corner of Fantasy Land, so to get from Pink Pony Meadow (which was situated in the north) to the throne, you would have to cross the lake.

The only problem was that the lake was infested with piranhas. Normally the piranhas didn’t bother anyone except the unfortunate other living beings in the lake, but they would attack if you were to row a boat across it. Siwon, being Siwon, ordered a cruise ship to take them across. However, the piranhas had the ability to jump very, VERY high.

But Siwon succeeded in blinding them all by flashing his bright white teeth at any who dared to jump so high, and the crew had no problem crossing the lake.

In other words, that whole last paragraph about the piranha problem was a moot point.

They even went so far as to ride through the Forest of Doom which, contrary to popular belief, was a very happy place. In there, they met a kind bunny/man who introduced himself as Sungmin and led them to the Wolf Throne. The entrance was a little intimidating because they were forced to walk through a huge set of stone wolf jaws, and it didn’t get much better once they were inside. It kept getting darker and darker and the passageways narrower and narrower, until it opened up to a huge, pitch-black room.

“You have visitors, O Great One,” Sungmin announced and bowed. The others couldn’t see him bow because it was, well, pitch-black, so they just stood there confused and slightly nervous.

Suddenly, the room was lit up by columns of blue flames shooting up dramatically from metal canisters lining the circular wall. They all looked up and saw The Great Wolf sitting majestically on an elaborately made throne.

A voice boomed, “I am The Great Wolf, Kyuhyun the Magnificent and Infinitely Wise!” The flames died down and shot up again at this in a theatrical effect. “Oh weary travelers, what guidance from me have you come searching for?”

Evident power (or was it ego?) emanated from the throne. The wolf was in a human form, wearing a huge headdress of the head of a wolf; its claws resting on either side of his shoulders. A fluffy tail curled up around him and occasionally flicked in impatience.

Siwon spoke up, “O Great Wolf —”

He cut him off. “No, just Kyuhyun is fine.”

“Oh. Well then, Kyuhyun, his fiancée (pointing to Onew) and the love of my life (pointing grandly to himself) has been captured. We—”

“Ah, yes, I heard about that,” Kyuhyun interrupted once more. “Never fear, I shall aid you on your quest. Yes…” The fire flared up and got even brighter. “…Now! Your prince has been taken by the Oriental Dragon of the Stone Mountains. You must seek the instruction of the Wizard of the Lands, for he knows how to guide you to him.” Kyuhyun nodded, pleased with himself and enjoying this much more than he probably should have. “I shall send Sungmin to lead you to him.”

“You shall?” Sungmin questioned.

“Yes,” the wolf said dangerously, “I shall. Go on now! I wish you the best of luck on your quest! Remember, level 26 is a ! A HA HA HA HA HA!”

Kyuhyun’s laughter boomed through the room and the group shuffled out of the cave, slightly faster than they had entered.

“Sorry you had to meet him like that,” Sungmin apologized once they were outside. “He had coffee this morning. Sometimes he gets slightly…insane when he has coffee. Other times he just slacks off and does pretty much nothing all day except play computer games.”

“Ah ha,” Siwon nodded in agreement, even though he had no idea what the bunny was talking about. Coffee? Computers? He’d never heard of such a thing!

“How does he do that, anyway?” Donghae inquired. “Can he manipulate the fire in the room or something?”

“Oh yes,” Sungmin nodded, “which is helpful and cool as well as slightly irritating at times. Like when you’re trying to sleep and he’s right next to you shooting out flames every time he beats a level.”

Sungmin led them back through the Forest of Doom and into the Stone Mountains just west of the forest. Indeed, there were many stones in the Stone Mountains. Big ones, little ones, medium-sized ones, tiny ones, microscopic ones, enormous ones, and ones that threatened to fall onto their sorry heads if disturbed. As he led them deeper and deeper, it got darker and darker until they came to…a quaint little hut.

“The Wizard lives in…that tacky little thing?!” Siwon exclaimed.

“Oh no, that’s just his vacation home,” Sungmin replied.

Before they could knock, the door swung open revealing a tall, cloaked young man with a handsome face and a regal presence. He didn’t speak, but waited for them to.

“Minho,” Sungmin said, “they want to meet Hangeng.”

Minho nodded and went back inside, only to return a few seconds later with a long wooden stick (a staff?) in hand. “Let’s go then.”

They walked for about five minutes until they came to a clearing in the many rocks. Lying in the middle was a huge, red dragon who looked very bored. Leaning on the dragon’s forearm was Taemin in all his smiley-ness.

“You came!” he cried happily.

Siwon drew his sword with a heroic valor and pointed it at the dragon. “Fearsome man-eating dragon! If you have touched a hair on my dear Taemin’s head, I shall slay you without mercy.”

The dragon rolled his eyes at him. “I’m a vegetarian,” he grunted.

The prince blinked. “Oh. Then what do you want?”

Hangeng yawned. “Just a sacrifice of some sort. If you want to guarantee this guy’s safety.”

Siwon put his sword down and sniffed. “Oh, what a touching ending to our romance, dear Taemin. I love you so much, I shall volunteer to be taken in your place.”

Taemin on the other hand was looking at Minho weirdly. This wasn’t in the script. But then again, Siwon hadn’t been included in the plan in the first place and it worked out just fine, so they guessed it was okay.

Siwon deliberately walked over and kissed Taemin’s hand, bidding his a tearful farewell. “Goodbye, my love. I wish you a long, happy life. Do not spiral into a dark depression now that I am gone, live joyfully.”

“Okay.”

Hangeng sighed. “The things I do for you, Mister Minho,” he mumbled and took off into the sky, with Siwon on his back. Neither he nor Donghae or Eunhyuk noticed that Onew had been sleeping there too, and was now flying off to the mysterious land of China with the pair. How had he gotten there? Well, that’s for Minho to know and for you never to find out.

Taemin and Minho returned hand in hand to Capulet, where they told all of Fantasy Land about the noble way that Siwon and Onew offered themselves to the frightening dragon in place of their prince. Now that there were no more princes in the land, king and queen agreed to have Taemin married to Minho. There was always his younger brother, Dongho, of course. Wasn’t there a nice princess in the other neighboring kingdom?

(Yes, their logic was skewed, but at least it moves the story along.)

Everyone agreed that Taemin and Minho were perfect for each other, and the whole of Fantasy Land attended their wedding. The pony Donghae came with Eunhyuk, who were put in charge of the music and dancing. Key and Jonghyun had come together as well, although Key was rather miffed that his little Taeminnie was getting married before he was and demanded that Jonghyun fulfill their engagement right away. The blind piranhas came.

THE BLIND PIRANHAS CAME.

The pink bunnies, pretty butterflies, and unicorns from Pink Pony Meadow also came, and Sungmin and even The Great Wolf, Kyuhyun the Magnificent and Infinitely Wise, stopped by. Kyuhyun’s entrance was just as loud and dramatic as it had been the previous time as he graced them with his presence, never lacking in bright flames and fireworks that seemingly appeared out of thin air.

It was truly a celebration to be remembered for some generations to come (and forgotten soon after). King Yunho sat proudly and Queen Jaejoong got all teary-eyed as they all witnessed the wonderful marriage of two true loves. And they lived happily ever after.

***

Until Jaejoong finally did break it to Taemin that he was in fact adopted. Then all hell broke loose.

FIN.