http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwxatzcYf9Q  (highly recommended ost ^^)

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Just like when they were in middle school, Jong in went over to soo jung’s house. They listened to the radio for an hour. They sat side by side on the wooden floor while leaning against the back of the sofa.This was their favourite past time.

“I haven’t seen your family for so long, “ jong in says.

“They’re still at that old town in Busan.” Soo jung says as she looks at her dainty fingers. She couldn’t talk to jong in with eye contact.

“Must be tough living by yourself..” jong in says as he sighed.

Soo jung shakes her head lightly.

“By the way,” in an attempt to change the mood, soo jung continued,” don’t you want to speak to my mother? She asked me about you very often.”

Jong in excitedly nodded his head as he sits quietly beside soo jung while she dials her home number.

“Hello?”

“Mummy!” Soo jung exclaims.

“Soo jung? You finally called me! You had me worried sick when you didn’t call for so long!”

“I’m still alive mummy, what’s there to worry about?”

A moment of silent on the receiver.

“You sure you are…okay?” soo jung’s mother asks. Her mother's voice sounded with worries.

“What the hell are you talking about, depressing things? Anyway, talk to jong in!” she says excitedly.

“which jong in?”

“kim jong in, the one who came over to our house alot in middle school,"

Another silent came.

“soo jung ah…” her mother’s voice trembled.

“Yes, no need to be surprise. He moved over to seoul. He’s here right now. Speak to him!” she passes the receiver over to jong in.

Soo jung crosses her legs and rested her chin on her palms as she observe how jong in talks. He talks in a fast speed… not too fast..but his voice is gentle.

After awhile, jong in passes the receiver over to soo jung.

“your mum says she’s worried about you,” jong in says as he leans back.

“Soo jung,it’s too serious, I’m coming over!” her mother’s voice sounded nervous.

Annoyed, soo jung hangs up the call.

Later in the night, soo jung fell asleep and when she woke up, jong in had gone home.

 

                                                                                                              * * * * * *

 

The next day was a Saturday. Soo jung slept in as there was no school, but an abrupt phone call woke her up. She was in the middle of another terrible nightmare, but when she woke up, she couldn’t remember what it was. Yet she could feel her back filled with sweat, and her jaw in pain from heavy clenching.

“Ya soo jung,” It was the voice of sulli.

“whaaaaat…” soo jung says while mustering all her strength to speak.

“Song qian said you definitely didn’t come school since Monday. She says it was weird how you suddenly came to school on thursday," Soo jung could hear sulli’s mouth crunching on chips.

“I did… I think…” soo jung scratches her head. “wait, I can’t remember…”

“are you kidding me,” sulli sighed,”it was only a few days and your memory just !”

“Its weird, why can’t I remember it?” soo jung tries hard but she ended up with a headache.

“is there something wrong with you?” sulli slowed down her eating and says in a worried expression.

After some more conversations, soo jung hangs up the call to express her concern to jong in.

“I’m perfectly fine but I can’t remember what happened on Monday.. why didn’t I come to school?” she asks as while clutch her hair. “and I have nightmares recently, I can’t remember what kind of nightmare either..”

“You must be tired,” jong in says with his usual calm voice,”you should rest. Should I come over? I;m worried..”

“No it’s okay, I’m fine thanks!” soo jung says and their phonecall ended.

Her right hand was placed on top of her chest.

My heart is in pain too, jong in, I don't know why, and if I don’t tell you how I feel soon, I might die of this pain..

I am going to tell you how I feel. Soon. I swear.

                                                                                                 * * * * * *

Over the next few days, soo jung hadn’t come to school. Her headache grew worse. Strangely, she felt like it was connected to Jong in. Because the more she sees him, think of him, the more pain she felt.

On the next Wednesday, Soo jung felt better and decided to attend school with jong in.

When she entered the school, she could see many people avoiding her.

She sat on her seat as usual , and notices the cheerful sulli looked worried.

“what’s wrong? Everyone seemed weird today, what happened when I was not around?” soo jung asks as she puts her bag down.

“rumours happened,” sulli says solemly. “every one says you’re crazy,”

“and so you believed that?” soo jung frowns.

“I don’t, I swear, it’s just that people said they always see you talking to yourself,” sulli says and shifted her gaze to the table.

“I don’t do that, rumor are just rumors,” soo jung says calmly. She is the kind that doesn’t care about what other people says.

Then, as if reminded by something, sulli suddenly sat up and asked soo jung, “so where is this new student anyway? You kept telling me about him but I don’t see him.”

Soo jung laugh out loud and looks to her right, where jong in is siting at.

“He’s just beside me,” she points to jong in who smiles at her like he always did.

That warm smile, just like the old days.

Sulli’s face darkened and she frowned. There was a long silent, like sulli was thinking of what to say.

“but soo jung….” She says as she looks into soo jung’s eyes with full seriousness,” there isn’t anyone siting beside you.”

Soo jung’s eyes widened. “Are you blind, he’s just..” soo jung turns but jong in was gone. She looks around, “he ran off again,” soo jung sighed.

Sulli held on to soo jung’s hands tight. “your lips look pale, go see a doctor please?”

Soo jung shakes sulli’s hand away.

“Ya, you’re making me sound like I’m really crazy. I’m going to go bring him here right now, you ,he just ran away because he has a phobia of people,” soo jung frowns again and stomps out of the class.

When she was looking for jong in, she sees Mr Lee and her mother discussing near the staff room. Their faces darkened when they spotted soojung.

Soo jung’s mother ran to hug her tight.

“What is wrong with everyone?” she exclaims.

Mr lee shook his head.

“Your illness is getting worse soojung, I can’t believe how bad it had been,” her mother began to cry, all the while hugging soo jung.

“What illness? I don’t get it, someone explain to me, please?” soo jung’s eyes widened.

“Jong in he.. jong in..” her mother sobbed even harder. “He’s gone. He’s dead, soojung, he’s dead!”

A gasp left soo jung’s lips.

“How? Its impossible, I saw him just now..”

Soo jung’s mother let her hand flew across soo jung’s cheeks.

“HE IS DEAD LAST MONDAY. WAKE UP SOO JUNG, PLEASE,” her mother screamed.

Soo jung caressed her reddened cheek with her palm.

Mr lee stepped in and continued,”remember how you told me you were going to find the new student jong in?”

Soo jung looks at mr lee sternly. Her legs grew weak.

“There was no such student,I was puzzled when you mentioned a new student, I was confused, so i agreed to let you go out of the class. But upon further inspection, there really was no such person. I’m sorry to let you hear this,” mr lee sighed as he offered a napkin to the sobbing mother.

A tear flowed down soo jung’s face.

“You are all crazy,” she started to laugh,” YOU ARE ALL CRAZY!”

Without thinking, she dashes out of the school.

All the while running she was thinking about jong in.

Her tears flowed uncontrollably.

She could not take this reality. She could never take in this reality.

Then, she felt a hard impact on her right side and before she realises it, her body flew across the street, landing in the middle of the road.

She could feel warm liquid flowing from the back of her head,and her back was slowly drenched with the liquid. She glanced at it, it was deep red; it was blood. Her head were spinning; there were many figures hovering around her, but she couldn’t see them clearly; there were a lot of noises around her but she could not hear them clearly. She pants heavily and looks up at the sky.

At that moment, she could finally remember what happened last Monday.

Last Monday, Jong in’s mother had called soo jung for his funeral. She could not bear looking at Jong in, lying down lifeless in a sealed coffin, with lips that could never speak, with eyes that could never shine and with a soul that could never breathe. The moment she sees his cold corpse lying peacefully in the brown coffin, she fainted.

When she fainted, she kept having the same nightmare.

The nightmare was about her and jongin in a lovely park. Soo jung had decided to confess to him, but jong in could never hear what she said. For some reason, jong in would always be in a distance away, no matter how close soo jung tries to walk towards him. The moment she reached out her hand, the scene would turn into a graveyard, and she would be standing infront of his grave.

Soo jung would always try to scream out her feelings, but he could never hear it. A flood of regret would rush through her mind, making her head to drown in pain. Billions of swords would repeatedly be stabbing her heart right at its core, right at where jong in was. She would feel this pain but would never die. In the nightmare she was in a constant cycle of torture which she could never escape.

After waking up, she couldn’t remember a thing. Her body didn’t want her to remember such a thing, so her mind closed its doors and allowed its imaginations to roam freely. And that was how soo jung was able to see jongin.

Her vision begins to darken.

She never got to express her feelings, and this was a regret which she would bring to her grave.

In reality, she never got to see him for the last time.

But in her world, she did. She had hugged him by the stairs. That was more than enough.

“I…have to go help jongin…help him…get used to my class…I have to..” she whispers with her frail voice.

Even up till her deathbed, she still believes that she did see jong in. Her mind had totally bloacked off anything real. Her mind gave her hallucinations, and she chewed on it like candy. Reality hurts, so why be in it?

Soo jung looks up at the sky for one last time and gave a faint smile.

She slowly closes her eyes.

“I’m sorry, my dear mother…” soo jung says with her last few breath.

She still could not see well, but from a distance away, she could see very clearly, a smiling jong in was waiting for her.

“…somebody is waiting for me to help him get used to that new place up there,” she says.

Jong in was waving and smiling like he always did.

And with that, her eyes were completely shut and life left her body. Her body had emptied out its soul, but a smile remains.

                                                                                                 * * * * * *

Soo jung loved jong in all her life;

Something which he never got to know.

His flesh were long gone,

But her heart for him was still there.

That heart got its roots planted deep;

So deep that it became flesh.

Some one who had ceased to exist had appeared before soo jung again.

Soo jung’s mind was so blurred with her imaginations,

She could no longer tell what is real and what is not.

To the others this person named Kim Jong In had died 1 year ago,

But to her he was still living, breathing infront of her.

She could smell his breathe,

Feel his hair.

“Nothing matters anymore,” she says,

“as long as your presence stays.”

 

-- THE END --