i try to erase and erase you but i keep drawing you
The Wedding PlannerI felt awfully exhausted and immediately run to my room after what happened earlier. When Jongin and I got to the catering shop Krystal was waiting. She waved happily and Jongin hugged her once he got to her. I smiled faintly upon seeing them. The way his arms were tightly wrapped around her waist reminds me of how he used to do the same to me. The way he ruffled her hair and pecks her temple afterwards… he used to do that to me as well.
Whenever I talk to Krystal, Jongin was there. Always hugging Krystal from behind, his chin comfortably resting on her shoulders. I fought the urge of looking away when Krystal tells me what and what not she wants.
It took every ounce of my strength to pretened that I'm busy, while they were playing around. There are even a lot of times that I caught Jongin stealing glances at me.
“This was so fun. And by the way, what did you told Kai? He's so sweet today.” Krystal smiled at me while she pulled me into a gentle hug.
I chuckled and shook my head, “I told him nothing. He might be probably just happy today.” I hugged her back.
Krystal rubbed my back and I felt like crying. I don't know why, but I just felt like it. I gulped and pulled away.
“I'm gonna get going. I still have a next schedule.”
Lies, I don't have any schedule anymore. All I have after that is a dinner date with Taemin. Krystal told me to wait for Jongin but I declined her offered, telling her that I really need to go, she just nodded and bid me a goodbye. So, I left.
□ □ ■ □ □
I closed the door of my room before leaning on it. I blinked a couple of times and dazed far away. The cold air swept across my face and I felt a prickled of coldness along my cheeks - I was crying.
“Jinri, he's gone. ” Sehun held me so tightly. I couldn't bang my arms on Jongin's gate.
“Gone?” I whispered. I couldn't understand. “ Jongin's here. I know he's here. He told me that whenever I need him he'll always be by my side!” I shouted and struggled agains't his hold.
“He's in LA now. He's gonna study dancing there. He left, Jinri.” He whispered against my ear.
I stopped. I froze and everything felt like it went black. I blinked in disbelief and Sehun wasn't talking. I was in disbelief. My heart, my heart felt like it was going to explode. I wanted to let everything out but, there was nothing. I felt sadder and sadder each time I breathe.
“I'm sorry.” Sehun whispered and I felt him peck the top of my head. “I'm so sorry, Ri.”
But when Sehun pecked my head the realisation gradually seeped in. There's no more Jongin, no more surprise kisses, no more hot chocolate during wednesdays, no more warm back hugs, no more intertwined hands, no more video games during friday night, no more movies during saturdays, no more pillow fights, no more 'I love you's', no more Jongin.
I felt paralysed. I felt so alone. I closed my eyes and tears crept of my eyes, “Sehun, he's gone.” I whispered.
I covered my face and cried loudly. No matter how hard I try I just can't forget it. “God, I feel stupid!” I slowly let myself fell on the ground as I leaned on the door.
Why can't I just erased it? I thought it's already gone. I thought it's already over.
♫ Juliette I'll give you my soul~ ♫
I suddenly heard Taemin singing in acapella. I wiped my tears and cleared my throat before searching through my bag. I grabbed my phone and composed my self before answering.
“Hello?”
“Hey, angel.” Taemin's voice felt so soft and securing that I am so glad to hear it right now.
I smiled because I know he's grinning behind this phone of mine. “I'm here.”
“Your voice sounds weird. Did you cry?” He sounded worried and I couldn't help but chuckle.
“I didn't. Just a cold.” I tried to compose my voice and smile.
“Why did you cry?” I heard him sighed.
Taemin knows me so well that my heartaches because I still keep thinking about my past with Jongin.
“It's just so stressful today. I don't know, Taemin. I don't think I can handle this anymore.” I lied.
“Hey, hey, that's not that Sulli I know. The Sulli I know is a strong, independent, amazing, and confident woman who always push impossible things that in the end she makes it possible.”
I smiled so widely. I am so lucky to have him. What did I do to deserve this guy?
“Taemin?” I called.
“What is it?”
“I love you.” I whispered before chuckling.
I heard him chuckled, “I love you too I'll pick you up at eight.” He whispered and I hang up.
My heart felt much better after Taemin called, but it felt even better when I saw that Sehun spammed me with pictures of his derp faces with the caption of forgive me but I still don't encourage you to continue your plan.
To: Sehunnie~
I just forgot to reply, stupid.
From: Sehunnie~
… I hate you. Don't ever come to my house again. But incase you do make sure to bring cupcake, I might change my mind if you bring cupcakes.
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