-

PARK JUNGSU : HIS LAUGH

-

You don’t choose your traits. You don’t choose to have black hair and dark eyes, light skin and a small face. You don’t get to choose any of that. You don’t get to choose whether or not to have a deep laugh, or a squeaky laugh, or a laugh that sounds like a dying cat being run over.

You just don’t get to choose that kind of stuff.

But no one wants to listen to reasoning, Jungsu soon figured out. No one cares for any of that – they just want a good laugh at someone else’s expense. Who cares about feelings? It was all about getting a good joke in and making the class laugh.

“Laugh for us, Jungsu!” the kids would taunt. “Come on! You know you want to!”

But he didn’t. He wanted to cry and tell them to just go away. It wasn’t his fault his laugh sounded weird. He didn’t want this. He shook his head over and over, wanting to block them out.

“Please… just go away,” he pleaded, his voice cracking.

After a while, he gave up on his laugh. He hid it away, doing his best to keep it in a closet in the back of his mind, never to be heard by anyone except close ones. Even he forgot how it sounded like in time.

There was a time when Jungsu would laugh all of the time, though. To him, there was nothing wrong with it. He’d laugh with his friends, his family, his classmates. He never felt judged or criticized. He was able to laugh freely.

He enjoyed making others laugh as well. Hearing them laugh made him want to join along with them. To him, laughter was the best sound in this world, and the most effective medicine there is.

He never could understand how this medicine became his poison.

NOTE: I do not agree with all of the drabbles I am writing and their outlook on the members. Keep in mind this is just for the sake of the story. And yes, most of these oneshots will be fairly short. Should I just call them drabbles...? These will all intertwine in the last oneshot, so even though they seem somewhat sad at the moment, there is an upside at the very end. :)