April 2016

RING RING RING RING RING

My damn phone was ringing so loudly. I looked at the clock on my bedside table. 4 AM. Who in their right mind would be calling at this hour?

I grabbed my phone and answered it without looking at who the caller was.

"H-hello? Who is this?" I answered groggily.

No sound came from the other side. Could this be a prank caller? I took the phone away from my ear.

Soo <3

Sooyoung? Why would Sooyoung be calling me at this time of the night?

"Sooyoung? Babe?"

No answer.

I tried again.

"Sooyoung? Is that you? Is something wrong?"

After a few more moments of silence, she finally answered.

"Y-yes."

She had been crying.

I didn't know what to do.

The two of us were quiet for a long time, waiting for each other to speak.

She broke the silence first.

"Hey, so I visited the clinic earlier today."

"Why? Are you sick? Why didn't you call me? I could've come with you."

"You had a class. Besides, this isn't the first time I've gone to the clinic."

"I know that, still, you could've at least told me."

"..."

"Soo?"

"...problem..."

"What?"

"We have a problem..."

"A problem?"

"Yeah, I'm... I'm pregnant."

To say that I was stunned was an understatement. I then asked one of the stupidest things a man could ask a woman.

"A-are you sure it's mine?"

"O-of course, you idiot."

My mind was a blank. Without really meaning to. I hung up the phone, pretending that the line got cut off unexpectedly.

I was panicking.

It's too early.

Even if I have only a year left, I'm still a student. I don't even have a job yet. How am I supposed to take care of a wife and child?

What am I gonna do?

What am I going to do?

Before I knew it. I fell asleep.

RING RING RING RING RING

My phone was ringing again. I looked at the clock. 5 AM.

I didn't need to look at the screen to know who was calling.

"Why did you hang up?" I asked her.

She didn't answer.

"So what's your plan now?" I asked.

"What about you?"

"Me? Why me? What about you?"

"Why only me?"

It was like a slap to my face. Why was I pushing all the responsibilities onto her? We both did this. We both made the same mistake. It's not fair for me to give Sooyoung all the responsibilities. I love her. I shouldn't be like this.

Instead of escalating our argument, I swallowed my fears and asked her another question.

"Have you thought of a name yet?"