"What were you thinking of?" I screamed at Kris.

"What am I thinking of? I am thinking of my dream! I am thinking about my fans! I am thinking about myself, my mum, and you!" he raised his voice back at me.

Everything seemed to come to a still at that moment. The air around us became cold, and all I could hear was Kris' heavy breathing. We kept our looks into each other's eyes, turning softer with each passing second. Three years into our relationship, we seldom quarrel. When we do, we turned each other's world upside down. Sometimes, it frightened us.

Kris took a step towards me and held his hand with mine. He spoke gently and reassuringly, with his eyes on my hand.  "I need you. Do you see it?"

I looked up and studied his facial features so ever carefully all over once again. His brows was tied in a knot, and worries were spelt out in his eyes. Even though it hurt me to see him acting like this, I dismissed the urge to bury into his arms. I raised my hand to hold his face and took a deep breath, perhaps to garner the courage I needed to speak out the words.

"I do. And so am I." I spoke so softly, so softly which left me wondering did I even say them.

The man standing in front of me, I love him so much. Like what others say, they would walk a thousand miles for the one. Yes, I would do that for Kris,  and I would do that for a thousand years.

I would always tell Kris that he is like one of the stars hanging high above in the sky, shining ever brightly.  And when he asked me why, I would not tell him the reason. Stars are beautiful not just because they shine. They are beautiful because of the night, they are beautiful because the darkness paints out their brightness. We always fixed our eyes on the stars. Have we ever, for once, remember the darkness? To me, no matter how hard Kris tried to see us, he was unable too. Apart from himself, everything else to him, was pitch darkness.

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FLASHBACK:

"I'm flying off this Friday. New York." I said as I passed a glass of honey water to Kris.

"I just came back. And you're flying off?" Kris replied as he took the glass over from me, not drinking. He peered over at me, "Can't you stay?"

"You know the answer. I can't. I will be back in a week. " I answered with a tinge of displeasure in my voice. Ending the conversation, I walked into the room, leaving Kris alone in the living room.

Lying down on my bed, I heard the door clicked outside, Kris has left.  I felt a sudden guilt building up in me. I reached out for my phone, I wanted to send Kris a text but I put it back down eventually. I was sorry of what I have said, but the apology did not reach Kris. This was not the first time Kris left without a word, and it would not be the last. I looked over to my phone again, and turned my head away. With a depressing mood, I moved my feet over to my desk and set myself down, and started working on my project. Soon after, I drifted off into my dreamland.

The sun shone brightly on my cheeks, sending a warm sensation onto my sleeping face. "Seven-forty five", I struggled to read the time with my half-opened eyelids. "Ouch." I grunted as I swept my tongue over my cracked lips. With heavy feet, I dragged myself out of the bed. As I stepped outside, before anything real hits me, I eyed at the glass of honey water on the table. Kris has left it untouched.

That night, was the last night we quarreled, as a couple.

FLASHBACK ENDS

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"Kris." I paused, " Kris...Let me be the one." I said as I looked away from his eyes, and fixed my gaze onto the cold floor.

"What? What do you mean?" Kris whispered. I felt his breath on my cheeks with his words.

"Let's..." I swallowed my hesitation. "Let's break up."

As the words escaped from my mouth, my tear too escaped along together, and fell onto the floor. So that was how pain looks like. I never really knew, till then.

"Please. We can work things out" Kris said faintly.

"I believe we can. But not now." I raised my head and looked into Kris's eyes, like how our eyes met for the very first time. I dismissed those thoughts finding their way back down the memory lane, and tried to look more firmly into Kris's eyes. "Let's not ask each other to stay, let's not ask each other to change. We have our dreams, we will chase them together, can we?" I asked, with a faint smile pulled across my face.

Kris opened his mouth slightly, but no words came out. He tried for a second time, no words. He changed his mind, he changed his words, he understood.

"Yes." he paused, "We can." Kris replied. He took a small step closer to me, and wrapped my smaller frame into his. As he laid his head onto my shoulder, he said softly, "But let me be the one, to leave first."

I stayed still in his arms as he wrapped me around tighter this time round. "Oh wells, don't walk too slowly, or else you can't catch up with me. And, don't fall, or I will laugh." he said as he chuckled, releasing his arms off me.

 

We love, and loved

Cannot beat the old lovers 

But better off than the almost lovers

We were once lovers