Final ~

White Promise
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His face was blue, his blood temperature was dropping rapidly, dangerously close to death. The snow was heavy and she was no where to be seen, the trees were white and the forest got more dense the further he tried looking for her. He was scared, frightened, afraid of what might happen in the darkest of hours. He blood temperature dropped low and his fingers were frozen solid. 'Ha-ha-ha-yī-i,' His sad voice squeaked  But there was no response, nothing but silence, he was starting to become wary about finding her. He was as cold as ice and his hope was ever so quickly running out. But yet he pushed through the dense snow to find Hayi.  'p-ple-se come--b-ack I promise -we can -run-a-away and fin-n-d a be-tt-er fa-mi-ly" he began to cry, all this tears touring to ice and froze up on his face  
I was peacefully sitting on the couch in front of the fire place reading a novel. The snow had just started falling in light sprinkles on my window, I don't feel the same about it, like when I was 9. When it was a happier time, before I realised mother and father didn't love us, didn't love their own children .I hate this family; we're all so distanced and none of us truly ever talk.  My dad is always on business trips and off somewhere doing God knows what. And all the while they left me and my sister at home, to fend for ourselves from the constant intruders, pesky sales people and the harsh weather.  I wish I could leave and find a family would love me more love me unconditionally, regard me as a important and try to make sure I was safe and felt loved.  '' Chanyeol!!  Chanyeol!! Lets play hide and seek!'' A cute voice giggled out   I looked up from my book and saw on my lap, my  younger  sister Hayi smiling widely from ear to ear, and locking her soft hazel eyes with my own. ''Hayi I'm busy,'' I huffed out in response and flipped the page on the book I was reading. ''But why, I'm so bored!!'' ''Hayi do you mind getting off my legs it's starting to hurt,''  ''No I like it here''  ''Well I don't!'' As I raised my legs Hayi came tumbling to the ground; her fall like an uncoordinated dance routine. ''AHHHHHHHH!!!" Her high pitched shout bellowed my ears and rang throughout the house. I got up from my position on the couch, not feeling guilty at all, I walked into my bedroom.   "Josh, *sob sob* why did you do that *sob* I'm only little! you're supposed to love me *sob* and look after me when *sob* mummy and daddy are gone*sob sob* BUT YOU DON'T LOVE M
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Liana_DS #1
Chapter 1: i don't think this girl can act cute like this... she always looks so stoic, especially in 'Rose'.
but she is cute, actually, i just realize, and amazingly beautiful ^^
and this fic is also beautiful.
but there are some mistakes, like this part, when you wrote 'Josh' instead of 'Chanyeol' in a sentence.
also, you wrote: 'He blood temperature dropped low', you should wrote 'his'.
just some minor mistakes.
like this ^^ but hope you'll write a longer version XD
yeulisoo
#2
Chapter 1: aahh so hayi was 6yo? i thought he was a teenager! xD feels touched~