Youngbae… Dong Youngbae…. 




Now I remembered where I saw you… I’m sure you’re one of his friends… You were at my wedding… but we never got to talk to each other… Now I realized that you were the one who played that beautiful song that keeps playing in my head until now… 

How I didn’t paid attention to anyone that day… How I really wanted to know who played that song back then… that song which somehow calmed my aching heart for awhile… it was you all along… such a waste that we didn’t have the chance to be introduced to each other… 

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It’s just that I’m wondering why didn’t he tell me that he already knows me… did he forget that I’m his friend’s wife…? 

He’s strange… after he wished me luck, he didn’t spoke to me after that… he remained quiet and I can’t help that once in a while I would steal glances at him… he’s now having that serious face in his face again… 

The class ended without him talking to me again… he got out of the room quickly… I want to ask him if he could remember me but he immediately left… maybe he’s just the same as his friend… maybe it runs in their blood… they’re all so cold.

I sighed… for I thought I would finally have my first friend in this campus… I guess he just don’t like me just like him…

I feel so isolated… nobody wants to approach me or even talk to me… I don’t know if it’s just me or are they really ignoring me… at least I got to manage surviving two more classes before the break without anyone to talk to…

I limped along the hallway making my way towards the cafeteria… my mind filled with different thoughts… is something wrong with me…? Do I have bad breath or something…? Why can’t I make friends just like back in abroad…? I really want this day to be great… 

After I bought my food… I started looking for a place to eat… the benches are all occupied… they are all in groups which makes me feel really envious… I walked a while still trying to find myself a space… I went outside the campus and finally found a place for me under a tree…

I started eating while looking around… watching people as they’re having fun lunch with their group… feeling the breeze as it started to enveloped me… at least the wind wants to join me in my solitude… 

I don’t want to go back inside… I know that it’s still my first day… that maybe as day pass by I could finally have my group of friends… but the feeling is different… this place also reminds me of the mansion… his mansion which locking me up from happiness and bringing me into deep loneliness… 

I suddenly lost my appetite… as soon as I saw ‘him’ from afar… why of all people I have to see him… he’s with Youngbae… walking towards someone… I saw a smile crept into his lips… I think it’s the first time I saw him do that… his smile somehow brings warmth inside my chest… how I wish he could smile like that in front of me…

I saw him approaching someone… his smile grew bigger until he reached that ‘someone’… somehow I knew who it is… it’s his lover… my heart skipped a bit when I saw him hugging her from behind… only I could see their backs not until they shifted their position…

How affectionate he can be with her... how sweet he can be... I wish that once he could be like that to me... even just a simple kindness from him would be enough.

So she’s his Taeyeon… even from afar I could see that she’s a beauty… her porcelain complexion stands out the most… her brown long hair and her slender body… the way she smiles could melt any man’s heart… she’s perfect… no wonder he fell for her… I couldn't help but to envy her.

I saw him resting his head on her shoulder whispering something in her ears which made her laugh, his arms wrapped around her waist … their friends started to surround them including Youngbae… all of them are having a good time… Even her friends like her so much...

I found myself stiffened while watching them… he released her from his hold only to reach for her hand and intertwined it with his… his smile never left his lips not until he saw me watching them… I saw him frowned… his face became sour… I can’t help but to feel guilty for ruining his mood… 

He quickly looked away as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder… threw a deadly glare on me before walking away with her… I just bowed my head as if I’ve committed a crime for watching them… after a while I looked up only to see that they’re already far… I sighed once again… I wonder if he’ll