I was never really someone to think about dating and what type of person I would like to be with. I always thought that I would meet a pretty girl who was nice and things would just take off from there on their own. I never had an "ideal type" of girl or really anything I was more or less attracted too. I figured I would end up liking who I liked, no questions asked. That was half way true, I did fall for someone without any thoughts but I questioned the hell out of it nonetheless.

I'd never liked anyone else until they came into my life. Every time we were in the same room my heart would stop. I would get butterflies in my stomach and become tongue tied. As time went on, we ended up becoming friends. Best friends to be exact.  How could I tell my best friend that I wanted to be more than friends? What if I jeopardized our friendship? I would never be able to live with myself.

Especially when that best friend ended up becoming my co-worker, my label mate, and above all, my band mate. Even if he accepted me it could ruin my whole career as well as his own. Though if he rejected me, I don't think I could stand to continue life in the same idol group as him.

Which led me to another point. I had fallen in love with a 'he'. A boy.

A pretty boy who was funny and sarcastic, sweet and kind, could be mean and grouchy at times, but all in all, he was perfect in my eyes. Never in my life have a met someone so flawless as he.

He was a boy that had all the characteristics I wanted for myself. A boy that always knew exactly what to say and do. A boy that looked completely gorgeous in every single piece of clothing he put on. A boy that always looked stunning no matter if he was caked in layers of makeup or rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. A boy that was so freaking perfect it drove me insane. He was so flawless, except for one tiny detail. I had fallen for someone who would never love me back in the way I love him. No matter how much he “loved” me, it would always be as a friend and never anything more.

I had fallen for a straight boy.

And yet it didn't discourage me. My mind screamed to stop, to give up, to just be happy with his friendship and yet my heart screamed the exact opposite. To go for it, pursue my love, make more than just a wonderful friendship blossom between us. As they always say, your heart is stronger than your mind.

I am desperately, utterly, hopelessly, head over heels in love with my best friend; the perfect Byun Baekhyun.

…≈•♦•≈…

"Jongdae, wake up! We're late as it is!" I winced as a sudden weight was thrown on top of me. I shut my eyes tighter and held my ears in a fetal attempt to block out the noise. "Jongdae, you better wake up right now! Or else I'm going to dump ice water all over you just like yesterday!"

"I'm up! I'm up!" I yelled as I sat up quickly, pushing the weight of my friend off of me and onto the hardwood floor of my room. "Don't you dare Byun Baekhyun!" I screeched as he flicked some cold water on my forehead. He laughed obnoxiously as I untangled myself from my blankets and jumped out of my bed, tripping over him in the process, as I raced towards my closet and threw on the nearest t-shirt and jeans that I could find, still holding the fear of being drowned in ice water.

"Your mom has some breakfast ready down stairs. We can eat on the way," he informed me as I ran my comb quickly through the rats nest on the top of my head that I called my hair. Though it did little to tame my wild bed head, it was better than nothing. "Come on kid, let's go!"

"Hey! Don't call me kid!" I yelled after him as he raced down my stairs. I went to grab our shoes as he got our breakfast from my mother. I rolled my eyes as I heard him shot her the usual “You’re looking wonderful this morning, Mrs. Kim!” and the “Your cooking seems to get better everyday!”. What a kiss up!

    This wasn't an unusual morning for me. Ever since I auditioned for SMEntertainment, my world had completely changed. I had to train extremely hard and go through many different auditions just to even be considered for the company. Along the way I met my present day best friend, Byun Baekhyun. At first, I hated him. He was my biggest competition and, honestly, I thought he had beat me out of any chance of making it into the company. After awhile of competing against him, trying to out sing each other and sharing hateful glares when ever we could, we started training together. I don't remember how it happened or why at that matter, just that we ended up sharing tips and helping each other out. Soon we would spend hours in a practice room alone together, just singing and laughing; having a really good time. We weren't rivals anymore.

We were friends.

When it came down to who would get into the company, I made the cut. I cried with Baekhyun as he wailed about how I deserved it so much more than him when I knew that wasn't true at all. I almost considered giving up my spot; giving it to the only person on this planet who, I thought, deserved it more than myself. The very next day however, Baekhyun got his letter of acceptance. We cried together again but this time out of joy. So now, we get to continue our training together, but this time with no rivalry whatsoever.

Now we spend everyday working together, hoping for our dreams to come true. We don't know when we'll debut or if we will even be in the same group but we do know we are here, living out our dream together. That's all that matters in our worlds.

Today was no different than any other.

"Today we just have vocal training and then a free day right?" Baekhyun asked as we walked and ate our delicious breakfast. Baekhyun was right, my moms cooking did get better everyday!

"Yeah, that’s right. So I'll probably just stay behind in the practice room and continue training like always." I laughed. Baekhyun nodded in agreement as we arrived at the building. Everyday Baekhyun rushed me about being late when the SM building was only a five minute walk from my house. Sometimes I think he just likes to threaten me.

We started to walk in as some of the other trainees were walking out. All three of them were rather tall, almost like giants compared to us two shorties, and really good looking. I couldn't help but wonder if they got in just by their looks.

"Chanyeol-hyung, stop staring at the receptionist. Let's go get some bubble tea!" The boy on the left said rather urgently. The boy, Chanyeol I assumed, turned beat red before hitting the younger boy.

"Shut up, Sehun-ah!" He laughed loudly to cover up his embarrassment before swinging an arm around the boy in the middle. "Have you ever had bubble tea Chinese boy?" He asked with a wide, almost creepy, looking smile. The "Chinese boy" shook his head 'no'.

"His name is Xiao Lu Han, hyung. Show some respect," “Sehun-ah” responded, pushing Chanyeol off of the other boys shoulders and linking arms with the Lu Han boy. Chanyeol rolled him eyes, still wearing a wide grin, before slinging his arm back around Lu Han earning a mean look from Sehun. Lu Han just looked flat out confused and slightly scared as they swung the door open.

The three boys noticed Baekhyun and I watching before falling silent and giving us slight nods as they left the building. "I've never seen them before," I commented under my breath with a forced laugh. Honestly, I felt threatened. All three of those boys were so good looking, something I was very self conscious about, and not to mention tall. They looked as if they could easily pass for idols no problem.

I also couldn’t help but notice, and feel extremely jealous of, the way Chanyeol’s eyes had looked Baekhyun up and down before they left. I didn’t want Chanyeol looking at me like that but I’d rather it be me than Baekhyun. No one is aloud to look at my best friend like that. If I can’t have him, no one can. End of story, no questions asked.

Baekhyun made no comment except for, "They were too noisy," before giving a slight nod to the receptionist and racing upstairs.

    Vocal practice went by in a flash; per usual. When it comes to singing, time always seems to slip away. “Time really does fly when you’re having fun, huh?” Baekhyun voiced my thoughts next to me as we waited for the practice room to empty. This is how most of our free days went. We practice for the given hour or so and then wait for all the other trainee’s to leave so we can practice some more. Why go waste your time by doing something stupid, like getting bubble tea, when you could be practicing?

I laughed out loud at my own thought as I watched one of the boys finish up his last song. He looked frustrated when he finished and the lesson teacher made little effort to ease that feeling. Opening the door to the room slightly, I listened into what they were saying.

    “Kyungsoo,” the teacher started. “That was the best you’ve ever sung it. Why are you being so hard on yourself? You can only push yourself so far before you break. Please, don’t beat yourself up over it.” The teacher sighed before placing a firm hand on the small boys shoulders. “You’re incredible but you can only get so much better. You’re one of our best singers right now in the company. What more do you want?”

    “To be the best,” I piped into the private conversation. Both startled men turned around to face me as I slipped into the practice room, praying not to be scolded for interrupting the lesson. I’m only trying to help. “He wants to be the best. We all do.” Baekhyun, who had followed me into the practice room without much thought, nodded in agreement though his eyes clearly gave away that he didn’t know what was going on.

    “Jongdae, Baekhyun, how nice of you two to join us in our private lesson.” I gave a sheepish smile as the teacher emphasized the word “private”.

    “Sorry, I just couldn’t help but listen in because we both feel the same way as Kyungsoo here. We want to be the best, to push ourselves past our own limits. It may seem childish but in all actuality, we just want to reach the highest state of perfection we can get to. We don’t want you to praise us by saying it was a good run or some crap compliment like that. We want you to push us, tell us how to improve, make us work for your praise. Because, like I said before, we just want to be the best and nothing less.” The voice lesson gave out a big sigh as Baekhyun started to clap widely and Kyungsoo just stood there, awestruck and big eyed.  I gave gave a bow as the teacher stood up and collected his things.

    “Well, good luck with trying to become perfect. You’re all far from it. I have other meetings to attend now. Good day,” With a slight nod of his head, the teacher vanished out the door. I sighed and ruffled my hair in frustration as Baekhyun stole the spot behind the keyboard that the teacher had occupied only moments before.

“None of the teachers here understand.” I sighed, watching the big eyed boy gather up his things. “But don’t worry, we understand you, Kyungsoo.” I smiled and felt a small rush of joy when he returned it. “See you around,” I called as he slipped out of the small room with a dip of his head, letting my eyes follow him till his figure disappeared completely. “I like him,” I commented, earning a snort of laughter from Baekhyun.

“You like everyone Jongdae,” I shrugged and nodded earning another snort from my best friend.

“Though, I like you the best Byun Baekhyun,” I sung out, winking at my the boy in front of me. I gave him a cheesy smile followed by blowing a kiss causing him to gag.

 “D-don’t be stupid!” He stuttered out, face red from embarrassment even though it was only the two of us. “You’re such a dork.”

“A dork that only loves you!” Laughing, I leant across the keyboard and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Jongdae! I swear, if you kiss my cheek one more time I will rip your tongue out!” I laughed one last time at my best friend before grabbing my music out of my bag and getting ready to practice.

If only he knew how I really felt.

It’s not like I meant to start liking my best friend. It all had occurred over time by some simple stolen glances, a few accidental touches, a lot of confusing thoughts and fantasies, and a dash of overactive male teenage hormones. Too be honest, I don’t think anyone ever means to fall in love with someone at all. They just sort of end up loving them; sometimes for the good and sometimes for the worse. Being that mine is my very best friend in the entire world, whom I am now practically living with because of this rigorous training schedule, and that he is a straight boy, my love is obviously for the worse. It’s the kind of love that you have to keep bundled up inside because you know the moment you let it slip out all hell will break loose. Friendships will be broken, your social status will drop back down to nothing, and anything you're striving to achieve in life is suddenly pushed to the back of your mind. Being gay is one thing, being gay for your best friend is another, but being gay for your best friend in South Korea, now that’s a whole new level. Yes, there is no way I will ever confront my loving friend about my crush; no matter how unbearable it gets.

Good thing that Byun Baekhyun is a complete oblivious moron.

≈•♦•≈…A/N…≈•♦•≈ 

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