Namjoo’s P.O.V

I still remembered the first time my bandages were removed. My dad had cried at the instant sight of me. Never once had I seen him shed a single tear, but there was, weeping to no end. No matter how much my mum had tried to calm him down, he couldn’t. Eventually, a nurse had to lead him away gently. I watched as the doctors and nurses exchanged glances with my mum, completely hesitant of handing me the mirror. Did they think they could hide it from me for long though?

In the end, I had to look. They couldn’t put it off for long even if they wanted to.

“Let me just remind you that you still have a lot of healing to do. It’ll be a while before the colour of this graft starts to fade and as long as you wear the mask properly, it will help to reduce the scarring. It’ll look different in a year’s time.”

I remembered seeing mum tremble as the doctor raised the mirror to my face. The look of fear she had on her face; it was etched into my brain. The moment I looked into the mirror, any shred of hope I had was crushed. I broke down right then and right there. Only then did I understand why dad had cried and why mum was scared to death. I looked beyond terrible.

Unable to control my emotions, I threw smacked the mirror away from the doctor’s hand and it fell to the floor with pieces of it shattering. The nurses had to give me a jab to calm me down and the counsellor came to see me once I had woken up. She wore a smile on her face; something I probably wouldn’t be able to do ever again.

“Namjoo, do you understand what the doctors have told you about your burns or do you still need me to explain it to you?” she asked and I resisted the urge to snap at her.

I’m not stupid. I understand everything clearly. Third degree, full thickness burns. They’ve told me about it when they harvested my skin for the grafts and then again, after that. It means the burns are skin deep.

It means that beauty is skin deep.

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Each time I walked down the school’s corridor, I was reminded of the first day back at school after the accident.

Girls from my year came over to my locker excitedly, with huge smiles on their faces as they prepared to greet me.

“Hi! We’ve missed you…” Their voices trailed off the moment their eyes landed on my face. I saw the flash of fear in their eyes. Even though they already knew what had happened, I knew it wasn’t the same as seeing it with their own eyes. They tried their best to hide how horrified they were but they were too little too late. I’d seen it all and I didn’t know what to say to them. I wasn’t even sure whether I wanted to talk to them in the first place.

At that point of time, all I wanted to do was to run out of that building and never return. I didn’t even want to call my mum; she’d know how pathetic and weak I was and I didn’t want that. So instead, I turned away without even uttering a goodbye and made my way to class.

Each time a girl gasped at the sight of me when I walk by, it only added on more salt to the wound. The hallway fell silent upon the sight of me and I resisted the urge to collapse to the floor, crying.

Stop looking at me! I yelled as loud as I could in my head, in hopes that they’d somehow be able to hear me. The look of shock registered on each of their faces. I could spot some screwing up their faces in disgust.

That’s horrible.

She looks so terrible.

Oh god, if that ever happened to me…

I knew those thoughts were lingering somewhere in the back of their heads. Unable to face them any longer, I hung my head low and half-dragged myself the rest of the way.

I wish I was the one dead instead.

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A bunch of students in the grade lower than me, pushed into me without looking at where they were going. Annoyed, I shoved them out of the way so that I wouldn’t fall.

“Eww. Look at her face.” One of them said.

“That’s disgusting.” Another said.

“She should wear a bag over her head.” That stirred laughter among them. I couldn’t bear to watch them laugh at me no longer so I ran towards the girls’ toilet and locked myself in a cubicle. One by one, tears started trickling down my cheeks. I couldn’t hold them back anymore. Leaning on the door of the cubicle for support, I tried to slow down my pulse and flushed away the feeling of anger and humiliation bubbling within me. I wanted to call my mum and yell at her; tell her that I hated my life. But good girls don’t do that. They don’t make a fuss. They don’t upset their parents. So instead, I cried in silence; something I did often.

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Once I had calmed down, I opened the toilet door and avoided any eye contact with the mirrors. Taking in a deep breath, I stepped out into the corridor. It was empty; peaceful and quiet. I liked it that way. No one was around to stare me down. No one was around to comment on my face. No one was around to remind that I was still –and always will be- the ugly duckling; the outcast.

For once, I felt normal. For once, I was able to hold my head high. For once, I didn’t need to walk in fear but instead, with pride. And so I did. I walked through the hallway with pride and with every step I took, I only gained more confidence in myself. At one point of time, I had almost forgotten about the scar on my face. That was, until Alexander appeared.

Alexander; one of the three survivors of the accident. It only took his face to crush every single bit of confidence in me. I was brought back into reality; the painful truth.

I’m only eighteen. I never asked for this kind of life.

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A/N: And that's Chapter 1 for you :) What do you think of the story so far? Let me know by commenting below ;)

Oh and by the way, I got inspiration for these three updates from one of my favourite books 'Skin Deep'. The scenes are similar to the ones in the book but I assure you that after this chapter, the rest of the story is made purely by my imagination :)

Do subscribe and upvote! Till the next update!

-Octy08