As I was walking down familiar streets one chilly autumn morning, paying close attention to my surroundings. My eyes occasionally glanced at the different faces of people who just passed, their faces glazed over, only bothered about reaching their destination. Work.

I was currently unemployed. I wasn't that I was lazy, I just can't handle one at the moment. So instead I just find myself lounging around the busy streets of Seoul, no particular place in mind to go to, just a way to pass the time I guess.

I stopped abruptly. I seems I was so into thinking about walking aimlessly, I didn't watch where I was going and stopped just in front of the entrance to a local park. Although it isn't just any ordinary park. This park was special. Memories were held dearly here. Some more pleasant than others.

My eyes wondered over to a tall tree. I didn't know what type of tree it was, but if I just said 'picture a tree in your mind' it would most likely be the classic example of one, except for one single detail that might be different. The leaves would be green, right? But you see, we're in the middle of autumn right now. The leaves have already died, painted a dull brown colour, hanging on loosely, just waiting to float gracefully to the ground and risk being trampled on.

I don't know why, but my mind was suddenly overpowered by thoughts of you. Maybe it was because you always made a note to always remind me that autumn was your least favourite season, because it was the season when all things beautiful die away. Brown was easily your least favourite colour.

One of my most fondest memories of us took place by that particular tree. The day I confessed to you. We'd known each other for a while, and just sort of stood at the barrier between friends and lovers. Our feelings for each other was mutual, it was obvious to anyone. So that day I told you about how I love you, and I'd want to spend the rest of my life with you, how any day I would wake up with a smile on my face, knowing that you were mine. Of course you said yes, flinging yourself into my awaiting arms as I showered your face with kisses, pausing for a second with my lips hovering over yours to whisper a faint 'I love you' before claiming your lips with mine. That scene took place in spring, when the flowers were out, trees covered in green leaves.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I suddenly coughed. My chest wasn't in the best of conditions at the moment, and the cold air wasn't doing it any good either. I always seemed to have health problems, but no matter how bad they were, I always seemed to pull through and get on with life, surviving whatever was thrown at me. Unfortunately, you weren't so lucky.

I still remember when you broke the bad news to me on a chilly autumn day, in this very park, next to this very tree. I'd noticed a change in you. Your eyes didn't seem to shine like they used to, and whenever we talked your responses were always halfhearted, like you were hardly even paying attention. I thought that you might have decided that you didn't love me anymore, so I confronted you about it. When you gave me that sad sort of look, I thought that was your answer, you didn't love me anymore. But when you bowed your head, tears making trails down you soft cheeks and a strangled sound escaping your throat, I knew it was something different, something more heartbreaking for both of us.

Our time spent together was limited, so we tried to get as much out of it as we possibly could. God knows when that time came when we would have to part. Every morning I would wake up full of worry, waiting for the morning call I made sure to remind you about the night before. I was terrified. Every second was sacred.

I still remember out last moments together. The slight brush of our lips and with that we parted ways. I wasn't prepared for what happened that morning. I was waiting, as usual, for that phone call. I waited what felt like hours. It never came. Not until later on when I tried calming down, convincing myself that you'd simply forgotten, but no matter how hard I tried, I knew deep-down what had happened. I just didn't want to believe it. Only when the call came through from your brother, was the thought that I had buried away confirmed.
After that I became a mess. I quit my job, and spent most of my time inside my house. I was too scared to go outside. Everything would always remind me of you. Even stupid things like a certain crack in the pavement that you once went out of your way to avoid would make me nearly burst out in rivers of tears.

Eventually I found myself getting over you. I never thought I would ever be able to. I didn't even like the idea of it. But I did! I managed to step outside of my home and was actually go places without feeling sick or dread whatever I might pass by. But I ended up making my walks a sort of ritual. Every morning I would wake up, get dressed and head out of the door, awaiting whatever I may pass and the memories that it holds.

I also started developing feelings for the local shop-keeper, a young, cheerful person with a kind heart and diva-ish tendencies. But no matter how close we get, I don't think my love for them would ever grow as strong as it did for you. Never.

So now I find myself in present time. Standing next to an almost bare tree, in a park that knows me more than most of my friends, on a cold autumn morning. I felt a smile slowly make it's way on my face as I started making my way back to my home, keeping at a slow pace so I could fully take in everything around me. I don't even know why I'm smiling. I don't even have any possible reasons. I just felt like smiling. You always said my smile was easily one of my best features, and that I should smile more.

A particularly big, crunchy looking leaf lay in the middle of the path I was walking on. So it was only natural I went out of my way to stamp on it.