Four days. It had been four days since Daehyun had last seen Yongguk. No contact, no meetings, not a single word or appearance from him.

He wondered what he has done wrong to make the elder angry with him. Was it because he ate almost everything? Did Yongguk realize that they actually are very different and he decided that he didn’t want to be friends anymore?

For whatever reason, it left him lost and lonely. He hadn’t realized how much of his day was taken up by the rapper, but without the practice and rehearsals, he had nothing to do.

Multiple calls and texts had gone unanswered, knocks on the studio door proved to be fruitless, and Yongguk’s friends didn’t seem to know where he was either. It was almost like he had fallen off the face of the planet. The only reassurance he had that the elder hadn’t been kidnapped or something was the offhanded comment from an instructor; Yongguk had been in and out of the academy this morning, but leaving before he could arrive.

That only left one explanation. Yongguk was avoiding him.

. . .

“I don’t understand why he isn’t talking to me anymore. Is there something wrong with me, Jae?” Daehyun’s head rested against the others shoulder as they cuddled at their favourite café. Youngjae had taken him out and bought him coffee and cheesecake to make him feel better for the sudden absence of his friend. It wasn’t helping. Eating sweets only reminded him of the many pastries that Yongguk had bought.

The boy in question sighed, arms around his waist and nose pressed into his hair. “No, Dae. Maybe he just needs some space. You two have been together a lot recently, and from what I remember, he isn’t much of a social person. Perhaps he is taking a little bit of time off and what not?”

It could have made sense, but Yongguk wasn’t that kind of person. He wouldn’t disappear and not tell him. He wouldn’t purposefully avoid him like he was a criminal. No, Daehyun was sure that something was wrong and he couldn’t put his finger on it.

Heaving a great sigh, he picked up his phone and checked his messages again. Absolutely nothing. The electronic was forced down by Youngjae’s hand, his friend’s fingers intertwining with his own and squeezing gently.
 

“Why don’t we go to the cherry blossom festival tonight? I know that you like going there,” Youngjae suggested, “and we can go get those candies that you like. I’ll buy for you.”

It was a tempting offer. Daehyun did enjoy the festivals, and he had taken a liking to the small treats that are sold by vendors. Jellies, sweets, a large selection of other delicious offerings. Not to mention that the event was stationed in a large park, ringed with the blooming pink cherry trees. It was a tradition of theirs to go every year and stock up on as much of the food as they could afford.

“Okay.” He replied with a sweet smile, nuzzling the top of his head against the others jaw to show appreciation. At least Youngjae would always be by his side.

When they arrived at the festival, it was already bustling. Couples walked hand in hand, parents ushered their children back and forth, friends walked in large groups, and old people sat at the sides and tutted their disapproval. They joined the throng of people, walking close enough that their shoulders and fingers brushed with every step. It was just as magnificent as what he had remembered. The sweet fragrance of the flowers, enhanced by the essence sticks strategically placed around or the perfumes that young woman wore, floated through the air and created a light scent. Boughs of cherry blossoms hung from trees overladen with the flowers and small lanterns either dripped from wire over their heads or were placed on the counters of shops. Vendors sold cherry blossom jewelry or fabrics with the patterns, promising that it would strengthen love towards either . Little girls danced in groups and teenage females fluttered paper fans with the festival design emblazoned on the thin surface. What Daehyun loved the most about festivals was the sense of community and happiness that always seemed to be around. Seoul was a normally very isolated place – people didn’t take the time to stop and say hi, nor make new friends. But here, everyone could relax. That was what Daehyun enjoyed.

They found a space under a tree. Daehyun sat on the soft grass, watching the people wander back and forth. Youngjae stretched out, back against the rough wood and legs extended straight. It remained silent for a few minutes, each lost in their own world. Daehyun wondered if Yongguk would have enjoyed a festival like this. Probably not. It was too crowded and hectic for the slow moving man who shied away from physical contact. Then again, the elder man knew how to appreciate beauty and maybe he would have put up with the masses of people. Here, laying in the shade, it wasn’t that bad. It was like watching a storm from the safety of one’s house. He wondered what Yongguk was doing at the moment.

Youngjae left, promising to buy him a cherry pie that he loved so much. He to curl up into a ball, knees to his chest, comfortably rocking back and forth to the sound of drumming. Sometimes, academies teamed up with the festivals to promote and provide the places with entertainment. His own academy had participated one year, and he had sung a duet with a girl. The great thing was that any money earned by the old woman who excitedly listened was pocketed by them. It usually paid for the copious amounts of food and trinkets that they then spent it on.

Surveying the scene around him, Daehyun sighed in content. He wished that there are festivals like this all the time. Winter events are often too cold for him and fall was basically exam season. How was he supposed to go out and play if his fingers either fell off or he was drowning under sheets of formulas and text books?

Youngjae returned a little while later, balancing a bottle of honey water, two pies and a small jar of cherry blossom jelly in his arms. Jumping to his feet, Daehyun helped set everything up and then they settled down, cross legged and eager to dig into the commodity treats. The pie was hot and sweet on his tongue, seeping through his bones and making him shiver in delight. Facing him, Youngjae was biting into a blueberry tart and experiencing the same reaction.

Eating in compassionate silence, they passed the bottle of water back and forth, each using the slightly less sweet liquid to quench their sugar induced thirst. Once the silver aluminum foils are folded up and neatly placed to the side, Daehyun wiggled his way to press his back against the youngers chest and Youngjae opened the jelly.

It was pinkish white, crystallized cherry blossoms suspended in the firm jelly. Daehyun had actually attempted to make it once, but it turned out more as a half rock solid base and a completely liquid top with inedible flowers dotting the surface pitifully. So they stuck to the professionally made kind.

Opening his mouth, he patiently waited for the younger to produce and unwrap a plastic spoon, scooping up a generous amount and placing it into his mouth.

“It’s heaven, Jae.” He mumbled, taking the time to savour the lightly flavoured jelly. It was a close second to cheesecake. Too bad it only came once a year. Behind him, Youngjae chuckled and took his own mouthful. “Do you think you could make this for me?”

“Dunno. You know I’m not the best at cooking and what not.” Countless triggered fire alarms and burned food lay testimony to this.

“Yeah- but we could do it together. Maybe it will work. Please Jae? I wanna have this all year round, instead of just in summer.” Daehyun had twisted, pawing gently on a broad shoulder as he mustered up his best puppy dog eyes. Youngjae could never resist them.

The resigned sigh said it all.

“Fine. We can try. We will need to find a recipe. I think my grandma knows how to make it, we can ask her…” The rest of Youngjae’s words are cut off because he had thrown his arms around the others neck, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you! It will be the best! I’ll eat it even if it or it’s poisonous or it turned out the way mine was—“

“I seriously hope mine isn’t as bad as yours was.”

“Yah!”

. . .

The sun set slowly, lighting the baby pink blossoms into a dusky rose. The parents and children headed home – either to bed or to rejuvenate for another day of work – and the scene became more rowdy. Stores that advertised children’s entertainment packed up, replaced by mini refrigerators stocked with soju and beer. The places where the little girls danced was quickly occupied by makeshift stages and bands set up, each vying for a place to perform. Sweaters are shed, girl’s hair was let down, the makeup became a little bit thicker and the noise a little bit louder.

Youngjae and Daehyun began a slow walk around the transformed place, stopping to watch a trio of girls sing haunting melodies and a lone male play on his electric guitar. The music playing through the hidden speakers became vaguely dirtier, and the general mood turned upbeat.

The pie hadn’t held him over for the night, so they stopped at another stall. Daehyun paid for both his black bean noodles and Youngjae’s beef stew to make up for the café and the later snacks. They walked as they ate, moving wherever the direction of the crowds took them. The park was shaped in a giant circle with a lake in the middle, and when the lights in the trees finally clicked on, the smooth surface of the water shone beautifully.

“I wish I had brought my camera,” Youngjae sighed wistfully, “it’s so pretty here. You would be a perfect model.”

“Why don’t we take a selca then?” Daehyun glanced at the other, smiling playfully, “Or are you afraid that your camera would break if your face is in it?”

Despite the many people walking alongside them, Youngjae swept him up into a fireman’s hold over his shoulders and proceeded to break from the crowd, heading towards a gazebo despite his many protests. They stopped in the middle, both panting hard; one from exertion, the other from screaming so loudly. Daehyun was placed down on his feet and they both took a second to examine their surroundings. It was extended into the lake, held to the main land by a long strip of concrete. The beams held up a beautifully arching ceiling with twinkling lights wrapped around the railings. The curved bench had pillows sewn in, making it the perfect place for couples to relax or take pictures. Settling down, Youngjae took the spot right next to him and pulled out his phone. They waited as the camera app clicked on, showing their faces in the bright screen. An arm wrapped around his waist and Daehyun leaned closer, cheek to cheek with the younger.

Snap. The first picture was taken. A series followed after that, their expressions growing more silly and their bodies closer until he was basically sitting on Youngjae’s lap. The last picture featured his lips pressed against a soft cheek, arms wrapped around a strong neck as they both laughed. And then the phone was placed to the side and both of the youngers hands are on his waist, guiding him so that he was straddling Youngjae’s thighs. They both paused for a second and then the other was leaning forward. Daehyun knew what would come next, but he turned his head to the side and those soft lips met his cheek instead.

“Jae…I- friends don’t kiss each other like this, do they?” he asked, nibbling on his bottom lip. Daehyun was unsure of their relationship, and it was that confusion that led to doubt. He liked kissing Youngjae, of course, he just wasn’t sure if it was right.

There was a heavy pause.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. Do you not like it?” Youngjae asked back, lifting brown orbs to meet his own. They searched, the only way Youngjae knew how to, reading through his emotions and whatever thoughts he was unable to say.

“I…just. I don’t know. I like being friends, but people always think that we are more. Are we more? I mean, that night at the club…” His face flushed a dark red, fingers running through the soft strands of hair at the back of Youngjae’s head. They both knew what night he was talking about. Youngjae was quiet, chewing on the inside of his cheek like he always did when he was thinking hard. It wasn’t an easy answer to question, after all. Their friendship teetered close to something else that he had never really experienced before; into a place he was unsure of if he wanted to step. Who knew what lay on the other side?

“We can be whatever you want to be, Dae.” The announcement was strong and clear, Youngjae’s lips pulled up into a small smile as he hugged him tight. “Okay? Don’t worry about titles and what not. I know we went too far that night, and that was my fault. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with anything.” A quiet laugh as his friend shifted him off of his lap. Daehyun immediately missed the warmth. “I promise that we will stay friends. Above anything, I want to be friends with you and I want you to be happy. Okay?” Youngjae held up his pinky finger and he took it, pressing their thumbs together in an unbreakable promise. He couldn’t stop the grin that spread over his lips, or the relieved giggle as the top of his head was kissed. It was a short and sweet conversation; neither of them had been very good with words. Certainly not the way that Yongguk was.

They sat together and watched the sun slowly set. In the distance, they could hear the crowds growing louder and the sound of bass. The concerts are beginning. By mutual agreement, they started back towards the noise.

Every year, just like the festival, it was a tradition for new bands and old favourites to show up and play a few songs. Before, the groups used to play two or three of their compositions, but with the sudden influx of rising stars, time only allowed for one or two if they are extremely liked. There are also singers and dancers; little b-boy battles held on whims notice or singers that collaborated together and sung by the water. This was Daehyun’s favourite part of the festival. Last year, he was part of the singers that sat on the edge of the stage and led the crowd through favourites.

Stalls had been replaced with stages, hills overtaken with teenagers watching their favourite acts. Coffee was no longer sold, but bottles of alcohol are passed around easily. The only stores still around are the food vendors, and they are clustered at one end of the market so that they aren’t blocking the view. There are also a lot more people – scantily clad girls, boys dressed in ripped jeans and loose shirts. A few had wires hanging from their necks or earpieces stuck in already, signalling that their performance was just starting or had ended. There are a few heaters spaced out near the stages, but they did nothing to combat the cold of those farther away. Daehyun shivered, pulling his thin jacket close to his chest. Although it was hot in the afternoon, it is cold next to the water when night set in.  

Youngjae walks beside him, hands shoved into his pockets as he looks around. He is unnaturally quiet, but Daehyun knows why. He doesn’t comment.

“Wanna watch one stage or should we walk around?” Youngjae asks him, glancing around for a space of clear grass. There is none. Many groups have already staked out a piece of land and would not be happy with the two of them intruding on it.

“Let’s walk. Maybe we will see some people that we know.” Shrugging his shoulders up and down, he grabs onto the younger’s wrist and pulls him in a random direction. They wander around, stopping when a song catches their interest, clapping for each show. Some are passionate, some are sharp, some are simply there to have fun. Daehyun notes that a few are clearly polished and well prepared. There is no doubt that their faces would soon pop in an official Kpop group.

They watch a set of twelve boys dance on stage, each moving in time with the music. For that many people, they are perfectly in synch and their voices are strong. From the amount of girls gathered around the stage, it is obvious that they already have a large fan gathering and would certainly make a lot of new fans by the time that night ends.

There is a sibling duet, both young and very cute. Their style doesn’t exactly fit among the slightly tipsy teenagers, but their performance is well received. The girl is cute.

Following them are a slew of other groups, but Daehyun quickly grows cold from standing on the spot and they continue on towards the band section. Here, electric guitars screech and bass pumps through the air. The vocals are strong and loud and the people who are watching are noticeably more drunk than those listening to the singers and dancers.

Youngjae notices his discomfort and offers to go get them hot chocolate, which he accepts. His fingers have grown chilled and almost numb. And so he is left on his own, hands shoved into his pockets as he wanders past the little clusters of people.

He hears the deep voice first. It is unmistakably Yongguk. There is no one else who can croon lyrics like that. It sounds even better with the accompaniment of instruments. There was another male on stage with him, rapping at a higher pitch. They were both dressed in black outfits, ripped jeans and chains. Yongguk’s hair had changed to a startling red, his collars bared as he walked back and forth on stage, gripping the microphone tightly. And he was doing it again. That thing where he commanded the presence on stage. It didn’t matter that it was a love song; everything that the elder was doing captured his attention. Daehyun couldn’t take his eyes away as they continued the song.

Look at me, if you’re here I’m happy,

Even if my heart hurt I wanted to endure it.

Yongguk’s rapping sounded so haunting and sad, it took his breath away. That was the thing he loved about the elder. When he spoke or rapped, he put emotion into it. Everything he said expressed his soul in one way or another. He had once been told, while they idly sat side by side, that Yongguk wrote to get all his heavy thoughts out of his head.

I didn’t want to love again,

I hoped my feelings would dry,

Even when meeting you I tried so hard,

I tried to hide my heart,

From then my breathing stopped,

To take care of you I wanted to become a great guy,

I’ve become a bright star shining.

Yongguk walked closer, the wire of his microphone dragging behind him. Despite the distance he was away from the stage, he could almost feel the power that was emitting from the stage. It was the same feeling he had when he had been taken to an underground concert. Daehyun loved the feeling.

After meeting you I can smile again,

In my heart that was dying,

You filled it up,

Because of you cherry flowers bloom in my heart.

The song ended with the fade of music, raucous applause and satisfied hooting. The two males stood side by side, bowing low to the ground. And as Yongguk’s eyes swept the crowd, they met with his own and locked.

Daehyun escaped soon after that, fleeing to one of the docks. It was unoccupied; everyone was drawn to the thrill of live music. Here he stood, leaning against the wooden barriers that separated him from the water. It was cold, but his heart was hammering and the stiff breeze that blew through his hair only served to invigorate him even more.

There were footsteps behind his own and he turned around, expecting to see Youngjae. But it wasn’t. It was Yongguk, sweaty and sheepish. Neither said anything for a few seconds. Yongguk’s hands were locked behind his back, hair slicked back with perspiration. If they had been under normal circumstances, he would have laughed and reached forward to smooth down the strands. But they weren’t, and he remained with his back pressed against the wood.

“Daehyun.” He wasn’t sure if it was a statement, a question or an acknowledgement. Daehyun didn’t respond, watching as the taller male came closer. It wasn’t until they were less than a few steps away from each other that he opened his mouth to respond.

“Yongguk hyung.” The elder seemed to be fiddling with something behind his back, but he wasn’t too concerned about it. The stifling silence needed to be changed. “I like your hair.”

There was a low chuckle from Yongguk as he flicked the red bangs from his face.

“Thanks. I dyed it-“

“Do you hate me?” The blurted question took both of them by surprise. Daehyun never interrupted anyone, and he was normally not direct enough to ask something like that. Yongguk’s expression was a mixture between something guilty and a little irritated.

“Dae- no, I just…I thought maybe it was better if we didn’t spend so much time together. I know that I’m taking away a lot of your other time to spend with your friends, and I-“

“You are my friend.”

“What about Youngjae? And your other friends? Would you have been here if we had practiced this morning?”

 They both knew the answer, and it was no. Daehyun would have ended up staying with Yongguk, doing random things and by the time he left, he would be too tired to want to go to a festival. However, Daehyun was stubborn and he wasn’t going to take that as an answer.

“So that’s it? You’re just going to stop hanging out with me? You should have at least answered my text messages or my calls!” His voice had risen to an accusing shout, fists clenched and chin raised defiantly. He wasn’t someone that could just be pushed aside and forgotten because it didn’t suit Yongguk anymore. That was not how friendships worked.

“I- , Dae. I did it for you!” Yongguk’s voice has also rose, although he sounded a lot more controlled than what he did. The answer surprised him, but he was already rolling.

“You didn’t do anything for me! You can’t decide what is good or bad for me! I get to decide that!”

And then Yongguk was one step closer, hand coming out from behind his back. Daehyun was afraid for a second, that the elder was going to hit him for speaking so rudely. But no, it wasn’t that; there was a rose in his hands. It was a light yellow, almost matching the lights that twinkled behind him.

“Yellow is for friendship.” That deep voice spoke those familiar words, and it clicked. It had been Yongguk. All this time, it had been him. “I am your friend, Daehyun. I want to be. But I don’t want to ruin your other relationships. Above all, I want you to be happy.”

The distance between them was much too close and yet too far. Daehyun looked up at the rapper, bottom lip still stuck out in a pendulant pout. He took the rose, holding it to his face and inhaling the scent. Sweet, and underneath was that musky spicy tone that had clung to all of his gifts.

“Come here.” He whispered, and Yongguk took one step forward until their toes were brushing and when Daehyun tilted his head up, their noses touched too.

When they kissed, Yongguk’s arms wrapped gently around his waist and his free arm slung over the elders neck, a stiff wind blew and hundreds of cherry blossom petals fell around them.

____

hi. school is finally over due to the strike and what not, so i guess i have two and a half months of nothing ahead of myself. perhaps updates will come a little faster. its kinda late and i dont really have anything else to say, but i have a few links to help you visualize/experience the chapter a little bit more!

the song Yongguk was rapping - Cherry Blossoms by Blackout (ft. Yongguk)

the gazebo kinda thing - this

cherry blossom jelly - this

ps - if you have any fanfics you wanna recommend me, please do. ill read basically anything with daehyun in it, as long as it isn't first/second pov. 

pps - would you want me to start doing a request kinda thing? not a one (that was way too difficult) but if you sent me prompts either here or on my tumblr, ill write when i have time? 

yeah goodnight yall. hope your summers are going well and good luck with any exams you may be having soon!