Pairing: broken!Jonghyun/Key, Taemin/Key

Genre: slight!Angst

Rating: G

Summary: Jonghyun looks at the tinted window and recognizes regret in an instant.

*****

I'm almost done, Jonghyun says lightly over the phone squished between his ear and shoulder, the soft rustling of papers being stacked reaching the other end. The call ends and he finishes packing his things and afterwards doing obligatory bows to the staff of Blue Night Radio.

He exhales heavily. He's not feeling tired, no. Jonghyun is just a bit... drained (of emotions). Because yes, he loves his work and yes, he loves his fans. But that's exactly what it is - he loves. Jonghyun lets out another breath, a small fog hitting his cheeks. Seoul sure is cold tonight. The street lights come in vibrant colors creating contrast with the black, cloudy sky. It sure is pretty, Jonghyun ponders and proceeds towards his destination all while waving friendly goodbyes to some of SHINee's fans that have come to support him.

One, two, step - he finally sees the black van that will take him to his second home, one of their managers probably taking a sip of coffee again while waiting for him in the driver's seat. Jonghyun usually drives alone to his radio schedule. Not tonight, however. SHINee members may be focusing on their individual schedules but they are still a band who creates music and holds concerts all around the globe. Hence, the members need to stay at their dorm tonight for an early morning flight. He smiles to himself, suddenly missing the other four.

Suddenly missing him. It has been a while; a couple of months back.

He reaches the black van and knocks lightly on the fully tinted mirror so his manager can unlock the door. Jonghyun hears - more like feels - a click and doesn't expect much. At least now that he is used to it - no music blaring out of the speakers, the smell of junk foods not present, not a single word pun from Jinki, no loud snores from Minho, no Taemin asking if they have seen his wallet, and Kibum won't be there to gush over newly released fashion apparels.

Yeah, no Kibum, he chants to himself. It has really been a while, huh.

Except Kibum is there when Jonghyun slides the door open. (And he swears he almost drops the stack of papers in his hands because, well—)

"Hey," Kibum greets him sleepily from the backseat and smiles with those damn dimples that Jonghyun has to blink a couple of times to let it all sink in.

"Hi, Kibummie," the endearment accidentally slips out if his mouth, "I didn't know you'd be here." He feels the younger man's brown eyes follow him as he settles on the individual seat next to the window.

"Rehearsals for the play ended late," Kibum says in a hoarse voice and Jonghyun can easily tell how exhasuted the other is. The van starts to move and he risks a glance at Kibum's reflection in the tinted window. He looks magnificent as ever, Jonghyun can't help but admire as he takes in Kibum's pale white skin and black locks; almond eyes almost half closed and pretty bow-shaped lips slightly parted. He wants nothing but to just ki—

"Rest some more, Kibum," Jonghyun says (to stop himself from thinking unnecessary things). "Did you eat dinner?" He inquires and turns to the younger man at the back, either out of habit or out of concern.

"Not yet," Kibum yawns and stretches his arms over his head, his light blue sweater riding up to show a bit of milky white skin and Jonghyun has to avert his gaze because it has been a while.

(When he is still allowed to look at Kibum with eyes full of admiration and everything else.)

And then it's there – the comfortable silence when it's only the two of them. He could have asked Kibum to buy take-outs with him; to rest his head on his lap during the ride home. He could have asked Kibum how his day went, maybe run his fingers through those jet-black locks while they talk about nothing and everything. He could have sang to Kibum about love - all kinds of love - and Kibum would never get enough of it. He could have asked Kibum to listen to his compositions and Kibum would appreciate every piece just because.

"I think it's wonderful, Jjong," Kibum pulls him out of his thoughts and almost causes him a sudden whiplash at how quick he turns to look back at the younger man. Don't mind that Kibum just called him with endearment; Jonghyun definitely doesn't mind. "The song you gave to Taemin. It's on repeat," slender fingers rose up clutching a phone and showing Jonghyun that indeed, Kibum has Already on repeat.

"Thanks, it will cost Taemin quite a few bucks though," he jokes around and successfully dodges what could have slipped out of his mouth.

(I hope you don't listen between the lines. It's for you.)

Silence accompanied them. The road is almost empty, save for a few young professionals who just got off work and some college students who think that the night is still young. It's Friday night anyway, Jonghyun lets his mind wander as he observes out the window. They make a few turns and his sight is welcomed by an all-too familiar route. Jonghyun recognizes the neighborhood and everything in it.

The van comes to a halt. Jonghyun starts counting with his breath - in, out, in –

Lee Taemin joins them, round orbs automatically connecting with Jonghyun who is the closest to the door. "Oh, hyung! You're also here," Taemin greets him a little too excitedly as he combs his fingers through golden locks and instinctively takes the space beside Kibum in the backseat.

Jonghyun nods in acknowledgement. Yeah, I'm here, but he doesn't say it out loud. Because he can see it; the tinted window shows him his own reflection (and a lot more). He sees hands clasping together and spaces diminishing with every move. He sees eyes talking but can't hear a sound – he probably doesn't need to. He sees teasing smiles followed by pink-colored cheeks. He sees lips moving and hears the hushed words exchanged in the silence of the night.

(Seriously - I missed you, Kibum. And brought home-made dinner for you.

You cooked? That's dangerous, Taemin-ah.

Umma did since she likes you too much. But I like you more.)

Jonghyun hears. He doesn't want to, but he hears. And he knows it doesn't end there. Jonghyun braces himself.

(What are you listening to, Kibum-ah?

Here—

Ah, Jonghyun-hyung finally gave it after I pleaded with him. D'you want to hear it live?)

Don't, Jonghyun wants to say. Not when he can hear it. Because—

(Sure, but I can listen to it later.)

“You are doing well without me. You are back to how it was before you knew me already.”

Taemin sings it anyway. And the fully tinted window reflects every bit of what Jonghyun doesn't need to see.