“I'm sorry Jongin. It isn't you. When I woke up today I could already feel the pull.” Kyungsoo's face was sympathetic, but he didn't look overly sad. How could one be sad, when they could feel their true love pulling at their heart? It had to be a wonderful sensation, to feel that somewhere out in the world the person who would bring you more happiness than any other was there, waiting for you. Jongin wondered if Kyungsoo had already gone to find him or her, or if he had at least told him, his current boyfriend, about it first.

“We can still be friends, right?” And how could Jongin refuse him that? He'd always known that this outcome was a possibility. They both had, but just as so many other reckless young people they had ignored it. Why should they care anyways? No matter what, they knew they would both be happy in the end.

The knowledge of future happiness didn't help much right now. On the outside, Jongin was smiling, giving Kyungsoo a hug and telling him that of course they would still be friends. On the inside everything was hurting. Hugging Kyungsoo had always been one of his favorite things, but now there was no real comfort in it, even when Kyungsoo hugged him back. Kyungsoo was still soft and warm, he still fit perfectly into Jongin's arms, but he was no longer his, and Jongin knew that he had no other choice than to let him go.

He wanted to scream, scream that this had to be wrong, had to all be a mistake. He had been certain that Kyungsoo was the one. It had been love at first sight, and destiny couldn't possibly be so cruel as to make him feel these kind of things for the wrong person. He loved him, and he was sure that Kyungsoo loved him back. Perhaps he was only seventeen and didn't really understand what love meant, but that didn't make his heart hurt any less.

The pull wasn't fully there until you turned eighteen, and even then you could only feel it if your other half was already eighteen too. However it was normal to occasionally feel the pull after entering puberty, even though it wasn't enough to find out exactly where you were being pulled.

Jongin was by his locker, half asleep and searching trough his mess for the right book, when he felt a sharp tug in his heart. For a second his body wanted nothing more than to move, move as fast as it could till it reached it's goal. And then it was gone.

The sensation still made him wide-awake, and his body turned around almost at is own accord. Just as he turned around a group short guys walked by, all of them laughing at something. Jongin became completely absorbed by one of them, who had the loveliest heart-shaped smile he'd ever seen. His face seemed to brighten up the whole room, and Jongin couldn't seem to look away. And then they had passed him, their laughter disappearing around the corner. Jongin continued to stare dumbly in the direction they had gone. He thought he might be in love.

It didn't take him long to find out who the boy was; as it turned out that he was in the choir together with Jongin's favorite hyung. Jongin would of course deny that, bringing up that it was obviously Junmyeon who had Jongin as his favorite, and not the other way around.

He was meeting up with Junmyeon to eat lunch, waiting outside the classroom where the choir practiced like he'd often done before. Passing the time with playing Candy Crush on his phone, as he normally did, it was just the sound of a familiar laughter that made him look up from his game. And there he was, the boy with the smile that brightened Jongin's entire existence in the few seconds he was lucky enough to see it. Frozen, he couldn't look away; the game he was previously entranced by now completely forgotten. The boy walked away, still laughing with his friend, and Jongin looked longingly after him. What he wouldn't do to be the one to make him laugh like that.

“Why are you staring after Kyungsoo and Baekhyun like that?” A voice next to him asked, startling Jongin.

“Hyung, don't sneak up on me like that!” he answered in an indignant voice. And then realization hit him. “Wait, you know those guys?”

Junmyeon grinned as he answered in a teasing voice. “Yes, they are in choir with me. Pretty talented the both of them, if I should say so myself. Why?”

Jongin ignored the question. “Which one is the one with the heart-shaped smile?” He asked instead, not caring about how desperate he sounded. Junmyeon was one of the most embarrassing people Jongin knew, and being teased by him was the same as the sea accusing the rain of being wet.

When Jongin first met Chanyeol he couldn't believe that this was Kyungsoo's soulmate. Chanyeol was loud and boisterous where Kyungsoo was calm and collected. Chanyeol was always in the midst of whatever was happening, often the one starting up a ruckus, while Kyungsoo always had preferred to stay out of trouble and especially not being the one to start it himself.

At first, Jongin took all the indications of how different the two were as there being a mistake somewhere. He knew that the soulmate bond was supposedly flawless, but how could they know for sure? Maybe it just hadn't failed yet, and one time had to be the first.

Kyungsoo had used to hate being close to people taller than him, having some sort of inferiority complex about it. Jongin had been the only exception. Of course Jongin hadn't really been much taller than him when they first met, his last growth spurt hitting about a year later. By then, luckily Kyungsoo had grown too fond of him to not want him by his side.

Chanyeol was even taller than Jongin, taller than most people, and towered over Kyungsoo. But Kyungsoo didn't seem to mind. Jongin often thought about how Kyungsoo might have reacted when they first met, if the height had made him want to turn around and run away. They never talked about those first days after Kyungsoo turned 18, and Jongin only found out later through Junmyeon that Kyungsoo had actually gone to see him before going to find Chanyeol. It appeased Jongin a little bit, but he still was bitter about how alone he had felt on his own birthday, only two days after Kyungsoo's.

He'd spent the day sulking, ignoring his classmates wishing him a happy birthday. Not even Kyungsoo's congratulation could make him smile. He did feel a little bad as he saw the sadness and guilt in Kyungsoo's eyes after uttering a stoic thank you in response, but he pushed it away, feeling that his bitterness was justified. It was his birthday, and he was allowed to feel how he wanted to. He'd said that he would still be Kyungsoo's friend, but he still needed time. One didn't just stop loving a person like that, and it still hurt so much, especially on the day he'd hoped to spend being drowned with affection by Kyungsoo.

When he got home from school he locked himself inside his room and refused to come out. He spent the rest of the day underneath his blanket, thinking bitter thoughts about how much fun Kyungsoo probably was having right now with his new boyfriend.

Chanyeol was one year older than them and went to the local college, and even though he and Kyungsoo had never talked before they actually had a lot of common acquaintances. Chanyeol was an outgoing person and seemed to know people everywhere. It seemed like yet another indication on how he and Kyungsoo wasn't meant to be, as Kyungsoo was a quite introvert person. Just like Jongin was.

It didn't take long before Chanyeol had become an integrated part of their gang of friends. Jongin could only watch with jealousy how easy Chanyeol befriended people, how it didn't take long before he was on a friendlier note with many of Kyungsoo's friends than Jongin had ever been. It annoyed him how much time Chanyeol was spending with Kyungsoo and his friends, people who had become Jongin's friends during the long time he'd dated Kyungsoo. Even though Chanyeol didn't go to the same school as them he managed to sneak his way into every social gathering outside of school. Jongin stayed as far away from him as possible, but that also meant spending time as far away from Kyungsoo as he could too.

He still observed them from a distance. He wanted to find more proof of how this had to be all wrong, of how this relationship had to fail. Yet as time passed, he couldn't deny how happy Kyungsoo looked. Jongin knew Kyungsoo, had spent hours looking at his face, studying and searching for the emotions displayed only in his eyes, knew the small half-smile that sometimes only lasted for a few seconds. When most people would think Chanyeol annoyed Kyungsoo, with how the shorter man scolded him, his face impassive. How when Chanyeol said something stupid that would make most people laugh, Kyungsoo would only lift his eyebrows and give him a look full of Did you really just say that?.

Kyungsoo treated Chanyeol different from how he'd treated Jongin. Toward Jongin he'd always been sweet and caring, but to Chanyeol he was rough and bossy. For everyone else it had to look amusing, with the cute, tiny male hitting Chanyeol and bossing him around. But Jongin saw past that, saw the looks and half-smiles Kyungsoo would send in Chanyeol's direction when he thought no one was looking. Saw how they were filled with affection, happiness and love. And Jongin didn't know how Chanyeol felt, and didn't care much as long as he treated Kyungsoo well, but he could see how Chanyeol made Kyungsoo happy in a way Jongin never could. Not to say that they had been unhappy, but Chanyeol filled a role in Kyungsoo's life Jongin was never made to fill.

Chanyeol often followed Kyungsoo around looking like a lost puppy. It looked quite pitiful, and Jongin almost felt bad about it until Sehun asked him why Kyungsoo had decided to get a new pet.

“What the man?” Was Jongin's only response. Sehun was his best friend, one of his only friends except Junmyeon-hyung and the friends of Kyungsoo that he occasionally would also call friends of his own.

“Hey, I'm just saying, you used to follow him around looking just like that, and then suddenly he gets a new one and it's completely the same way as before. What's the point of replacing something with something so similar?”

Jongin wanted to scream hey, that's a sensitive topic, don't joke about it like that! But he couldn't. He was supposed to have put it all behind him by now. They all grew up knowing that no romantic relationship you had before you met your soulmate would matter in the end. That was why contraceptives was so highly encouraged to teens; you didn't want to end up with child together with the wrong person.

“Pshh, I never looked as pathetic as that,” he said instead.

“Yeah you di-,” Sehun retorted with a smug grin, which didn't even disappear completely when Jongin hit him. “Ok, ok, maybe you looked a little bit less pathetic. At least by … how long have they been together now?”

“Three weeks,” Jongin mumbled.

“Oh man, forget what I just said, you looked much worse than that in the third week after you started dating.” Jongin hit him again, and this time Sehun actually took the hint and kept his mouth shut.

“I've decided to apply to the local college instead of studying music in Seoul.” Kyungsoo told him on a chilly day in April. They were walking towards what used to be one of their favorite street food vendors. Not that they had gotten a new favorite, they just hadn't really been there since the end of their romantic relationship. Kyungsoo was busy hanging out with Chanyeol and studying for his final exams. Jongin was busy practicing, dedicating his life to dancing more than ever before. He would of course never admit that he really was doing it to avoid Chanyeol, and therefore Kyungsoo, and getting an outlet for his miserable feelings.

“What? Why?” Jongin hastily continued before Kyungsoo could answer. “Are you doing this because of Chanyeol? Because I swear, if you're seriously giving up your dreams because of him I'll never forgive you.” Jongin had no idea what Chanyeol was going to do next year, and frankly he didn't have any interest in knowing either. Jongin assumed he would stay at the local college. Chanyeol was usually a topic he and Kyungsoo stayed clear of when they talked. Before, Jongin had felt some sort of mean satisfaction at them being separated and unhappy when Kyungsoo went to Seoul. He had been ashamed about it later, but right now he was mad at Kyungsoo for giving up on his dream so easily. Chanyeol would be together with him forever anyways, but to achieve your dream one needed to work hard from the start and sometimes sacrifice something.

“I'm not doing this because of Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo said with a stern voice. “Of course he has affected my decision, just as he as he has affected my life in many ways, but in the end it still was my choice. I've just come to realize how much more interested I am in becoming a chef than a singer.”

“But singing is your passion, and you're so talented; how can you let that go to waste?” Jongin thought back to their fellow daydreams of studying in Seoul, Jongin following Kyungsoo to the big city a year later. Kyungsoo would already be familiar in the city, show him around. Then they would move in together and live a fun and interesting big-city life. Of course they had both known it was unrealistic even at the time, but it hadn't stopped them from spending hours talking about and imagining it.

“I'm passionate about cooking too, and quite good at it. Being a successful singer comes along with fame, and with fame comes constant attention, people watching and judging you every second of your life. And perhaps to some it's still worth it in the end, but I've come to realize that I don't think it would be worth it for me.” And Jongin could see that Kyungsoo meant what he said, yet he couldn't help himself.

“You can't just give up like that! What about Baekhyun, weren't you two supposed to rent an apartment together the first year? How can you just abandon him like that?!” Jongin said angrily. They both knew he wasn't really talking about Baekhyun.

“Why are you accusing Chanyeol for affecting my decisions, when that clearly is exactly what you are trying to do right now?” Kyungsoo answered Jongin, but instead of calming him down it just annoyed him further. How could Kyungsoo be so calm, giving it all up so easily? He didn't even answer Kyungsoo, just stared angrily straight forward and walked faster than he had before.

“This isn't really about me, is it? Jongin, just because I decide that the showbiz isn't where my future lies doesn't mean that you can't still dream about that life. I'm not giving up on my dream, but even if that was what I was doing, that wouldn't mean that you should stop working hard to achieve your goals and dreams.” And for some reason that what all is took, Kyungsoo's kind and calm voice breaking through the wall of anger he'd built up as a defense around himself.

Jongin abruptly stopped and pulled Kyungsoo into a hug, trying to stop his tears by burying his head in the shorter male's shoulder. Kyungsoo didn't even seem surprised, only hugged him back, patted him on the back and told him in a calm voice how it would be ok. When Jongin finally had calmed down enough to talk, he pulled back and stared into Kyungsoo's eyes for the first time since January.

“Please don't...” he said weakly. “Don't forget about me.” Kyungsoo smiled up at him, his smile filling Jongin with warmth for the first time in forever.

“Of course I won't. I still care about you a lot you know. Even though Chanyeol is the one for me, it doesn't mean that he automatically replaces you in every way. He isn't you Jongin, and I miss having you around. Even though things will never be the way they were before, I still want to be your friend forever, and ... I hope you feel the same way.” Kyungsoo said the last thing looking insecure, and once again Jongin knew he couldn't possibly deny him. Being around Kyungsoo hurt, but not being around him hurt even more.
 

The time had passed faster than he'd expected, and now the summer was just around the corner. Soon the third years would finish high school, and then go out in the world as adults. Jongin didn't know if he was envious of them or not. He did know he had a feeling of being left behind though. Never one to befriend people easily, most of his friends was originally friends of Kyungsoo and Junmyeon. Of course he wasn't really close to most of them, but it would still be sad to see them go. Most of all he dreaded how empty his life would feel without his two strongest pillars of support, Kyungsoo and Junmyeon themselves. He hadn't been able to spend much time with them lately either, both being busy with exams and stressed about getting good grades.

The graduation ceremony started of with a performance by the school choir, the last chance for the third years to show off their singing. Most of them were probably performing like this for the last time, their future filled with other things than singing and performing. Junmyeon sang his solo perfectly, and Jongin felt almost a sense of pride over him. His embarrassing hyung who was too perfect for his own good. And then Kyungsoo stepped forward to sing a solo, and Jongin suddenly felt melancholic over what had been, and what would never be.

He remembered the first time he'd seen Kyungsoo perform on stage like that. When Kyungsoo had opened his mouth to sing, Jongin had fallen deeper in love than ever before. He could remember this performance extra clearly by how he for a second had felt the pull, his already overwhelmed brain becoming even more overwhelmed. Afterwards he'd been almost sure that he'd felt like he was being pulled toward the stage. It was one of the reasons why he'd been so sure that Kyungsoo had to be his soulmate, why he'd been even more disappointed when it turned out to not be the case than what was usual. Of course now he knew that it had all been a fantasy. He had probably been pulled towards someone far, far behind the stage, or in almost the same direction as it, and then his already love-struck brain had been so focused on Kyungsoo that he thought it was towards him he was being pulled.

Baekhyun finished the last high note of the song, and everyone was clapping.

The ceremony was finished, and Jongin knew the time had come to say goodbye. He patted Jongdae on the back and told him to not be too rude towards whoever was unlucky enough to become his roommate, wished Baekhyun good luck with moving to Seoul and becoming a singer, and told Yixing how he would miss dancing with him. Yixing invited him to come visit him in China, and Jongin told him that he was of course welcome to come visit him too, while wondering if they would ever meet again.

He saw Kyungsoo and was about to walk up to him when Chanyeol suddenly was in front of him, giving the surprised Kyungsoo a bouquet of flowers. Jongin was happy to notice how the sight didn't bother him as much anymore. He could almost admit it was cute how bashful yet happy they both looked. Yet there was no room for him in their little moment, so he went to find Junmyeon instead.

Saying goodbye to Junmyeon was the hardest so far. Junmyeon, with his perfect grades and his constant wish to learn more, was going as far as America to study. This would probably be the last time they met for a long time. Even though Junmyeon's family had money, traveling was both expensive and took time. Jongin knew that they had planned to go visit Junmyeon at Christmas, which meant that Junmyeon wouldn't return to South-Korea until next year's Christmas, and who knew where Jongin would be then.

“Hyung, why do you have to go so soon? Why can't you stay here for the summer at least?” Jongin said, even though it was a conversation that had been repeated a hundred times before. He hugged his short friend harder, even though their hug had lasted for quite a while already.

“Jongin, you know my family won't cancel their plans of an America holiday now. I tried to talk to them about it months ago, and you know the answer hasn't changed since then. My parents think it's good for me to practice my English and get used to the culture before I'm left there all alone, and you know how my parents are.” Junmyeon's answer was always the same. There was nothing else to say, and they both knew this was goodbye. Junmyeon hugged Jongin back even harder for a few seconds, before they both let go. Junmyeon patted Jongin on the back and tried to lighten the mood with a dumb joke. Jongin only laughed at it so that he wouldn't cry.

They walked out of the school building together, all the way to the car with Junmyeon's parents who were waiting. Jongin waved after them until the car couldn't be seen anymore. He even managed to keep the smile all the while. Then he let his hand drop down as his mouth did the same, and let out a sigh.

“Hey, you want a ride?” A voice asked beside him, a voice Jongin would recognize anywhere.

“Are you driving?” He asked surprised.

“Don't look so shocked, I could be you know!” Kyungsoo said in an angry voice, and Jongin was glad that he knew him well enough to see that it was fake. “But no, I'm not driving,” Kyungsoo admitted. “Chanyeol is. And don't say no because of that. I'd really wish you'd at least try to get along with him, it would make things so much easier for me.” Jongin knew it was childish of him to hate Chanyeol just for being Kyungsoo's soulmate. It wasn't like any of them could help it. So he nodded, happy at the way Kyungsoo's face lit up in a smile.

“This isn't goodbye you know. I was hoping that we could spend a lot of time together this summer, and even though we'll both be busy next year, at least we won't be far away from each other,” Kyungsoo told him, still smiling.

“I know, and yeah, I was hoping for that too,” Jongin replied with a smile of his own. They still reached out for each other for a brief hug, a quick goodbye to the high school years the had spent together. As they walked towards Chanyeol's car they held hands, and Jongin had to admit that Chanyeol was a pretty cool guy for managing to look completely relaxed and not jealous at all as they sat next to each other in the backseat. As Chanyeol started the engine and the song from one of Jongin's favorite bands came on, he realized that maybe trying to get along with Chanyeol wouldn't be too hard.

The summer went by too fast, a swirl of heat and ice cream and football and trips to the beach. Chanyeol having a car certainly had it's advantages. It didn't take long before Jongin had to admit that Chanyeol was a pretty cool guy, with an exquisite taste in music. Even though things sometimes got a bit awkward when it only was the three of them, the summer went by without too many hard feelings. As the fall neared they had to say goodbye to Baekhyun and Jongdae for real this time, as both now were moving to different cities.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo was also busy with moving into their new shared apartment. Jongin would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous. He didn't help them with moving in, and they didn't ask him too. The last weeks of the summer he spent mostly with Sehun. They talked about how cool it would be to finally be the oldest, and about how hard this year was going to be. The theme of all the friends who was no longer there was ignored, and they probably talked a lot less about the topic of soulmates than what was normal for people their age. Sehun was insensitive, maybe, but he wasn't a complete idiot.

Too soon it was time to start school again, this time as seniors. Jongin tried not to notice how empty it felt without the people he missed. Soon the burden of the schoolwork, together with more and more dance practice, helped him to become too tired to think too much about it anymore.

The feeling of loneliness kept bothering him through the fall. At some point Sehun started dating this year's Chinese exchange student, and Jongin was left even more on his own. He and Kyungsoo tried to stay in touch, but even as close as they were geographically they mostly communicated through texts and phone-calls. Both were busy with their own lives. Kyungsoo had Chanyeol, and Jongin still sometimes thought it was for the best if he tried to stay away from Kyungsoo until his feelings for him were gone.

Christmas was especially lonely. Of course he still had his family, but it wasn't the same without Kyungsoo. Last Christmas they had been hopelessly in love, and now Jongin was alone. All the couples walking around holding hands, hugging or huddling together for warmth disgusted him, even though he really just missed having someone to be disgustingly affectionate with himself. All around him there was people filled with Christmas cheer, commercials and offers reminding people to get the perfect gift for that special someone.

More and more often he found himself thinking about what would happen in the following month. He would finally turn 18, and if he was lucky, his soulmate would already be 18 too. However when he tried to daydream of meeting his other half, Kyungsoo always managed to sneak his way into it. Jongin didn't feel angry or bitter anymore, and he was happy for Kyungsoo. But he still loved him, and he couldn't seem to stop. He could only hope that meeting his soulmate would put an end to that.

His hope for his soulmate to be 18 already, and not living too far away from him only grew every day. It was normal for people to have a soulmate from the same cultural background as themselves. After all it shaped you a lot as a person what kind of society you grew up in. But sometimes, people ended up with a soulmate from another country,f sometimes even on the other side of Earth. Sometimes people didn't speak the same language, making getting to know each other harder. And sometimes one or both of the people in the bond was too poor or sick to travel far, making meeting your true love very difficult. After all one had only the pull to go after, and being completely sure where you were pulled when it was towards the other side of the planet wasn't easy. Of course they would always end up together in the end, as they were destined lovers, and nothing could ever keep them apart forever. Still, Jongin could only imagine how much it had to hurt, constantly feeling the bond tug at your heart and urging you to go while being unable to. Even he, who had yet to feel the full bond pull, shuddered at the thought.

Jongin spent the new years evening with Sehun and Sehun's Chinese girlfriend, who Jongin never managed to remember the name of. She had also invited along a friend of hers that turned out to be Baekhyun, who was home to visit his family for Christmas. Even though they had spent much time around each other, as Baekhyun has been one of Kyungsoo's closest friends during their high school days, Jongin and Baekhyun had never really talked much just the two of them before. Yet as the evening went on, and Sehun and his girlfriend became more and more couple-y and disgusting, they sought together in their fellow misery.

Baekhyun had always been easy to talk with, and the conversation flew freely even with Jongin and his awkwardness. In the beginning Baekhyun was the one bearing most of the weight of keeping the conversation going, telling Jongin about going to college and studying music. Even though he at times sounded tired Jongin could hear the passion in his voice when he talked about singing and performing. Jongin felt himself growing a newfound respect for Baekhyun, who had dared to do what Kyungsoo had not.

When he told Baekhyun about his dreams of becoming a professional dancer, he wasn't met with the normal talk of dreaming too unrealistically. Instead Baekhyun was, as the first person ever, immediately fully supporting, telling him to go for it if it was what he really wanted. Baekhyun didn't try to get him out of it by telling him that it would be too much work and too small a profit. They both knew that the other knew this, had heard this lecture over and over ever since they dared to dream a little bigger than most people.

Jongin had imagined that he would go into the new year feeling like everything was hopeless, just as he'd felt it was almost the entire past year. Yet he ended up going into the new year laughing, with a little bit more hope than he had dared to have before.

Kyungsoo had decided to celebrate his 19^th birthday on the day after his actual birthday. It was a Friday, making it the perfect day for a party. When Jongin was invited he almost considered refusing. It had already been a year, but Kyungsoo's last birthday hadn't really created many good memories for him. He'd rather just stay inside his room and brood in solitude. And maybe, just maybe, hoping for his own pull to appear at twelve and magically push all of his leftover feelings of love for Kyungsoo away. It had worked that way for Kyungsoo, so it should work for him too, right?

He couldn't ignore his thoughts of doubt. Kyungsoo was never as into you as you were into him. Kyungsoo had never treated him as just a fling. Yeah, but you were completely and entirely in love with him, following him around like a puppy with its owner. Kyungsoo had taken care of him. Kyungsoo had even been the one to instantiate their first kiss. Only because you were too shy to do it. Remember, he didn't even look sad when he discovered that you weren't his soulmate.

Perhaps Jongin never would stop loving Kyungsoo. Maybe he would end up loving two people at the same time, always conflicted and drawn in two directions. Maybe there was something wrong with him, maybe he didn't even have a soulmate. Maybe he would end up alone, forever pining after Kyungsoo, maybe he- his thoughts were disturbed by the loud sound of his phone ringing. He hesitated for a second before giving in and picking it up.

“What?” he answered sourly.

“You better be going to Kyungsoo's birthday, I don't want to be the only high school student there, and anyways he's your ex-boyfriend. Don't you dare being a baby and stay at home to sulk,” Sehun told him, his voice leaving no room for protests.

“Oh shut up,” Jongin mumbled, refusing to admit even to himself that it was exactly what he'd been considering doing. “I'll go, so relax and stop the ing lecturing would you.” He said and pushed the disconnect button before Sehun could say anything more.

Although Jongin would never admit it, Sehun had been right about worrying about being the only high school student there. For some reason the gap of one year seemed much bigger than it had done when they had all been in high school together. The fact that they didn't really know most of the people there also made things more awkward. Jongin, who never had been good at getting to know new people, felt uncomfortable as soon as they walked in the door.

“Jongin, Sehun, it's been too long!” A booming voice greeted them. Chanyeol was looking as tall and happy as ever. “Hey Sehun, I heard you'd gotten a girlfriend, you should have brought her along!”

Jongin didn't bother to listen to Sehun's answer, instead searching through the living room of the small apartment. Neither Jongdae, Baekhyun nor Kyungsoo was in sight, but Jongin assumed at least Kyungsoo had to be here. It was his birthday after all.

“Aren't Baekhyun and Jongdae coming?” He asked Chanyeol. He'd hoped that he'd get to see them, but he realized now that it had been a stupid thought. Using time and money to travel home just to come to a friend's birthday party … They probably both had better things to spend both their time and money on.

“No, not Jongdae, but Baekhyun is actually! He isn't arriving until quite late though, but at least he's coming!” Chanyeol told him happily. Before he could say anything more Kyungsoo walked out from the kitchen, a mouthwatering smell of food following him.

“Food's served,” a smiling Kyungsoo told his guest. “Our apartment is sadly a little bit too small for anything fancy, but I hope it tastes good anyways!” Someone cheered, and then as people started moving into the kitchen Kyungsoo finally moved towards them.

“I'm glad you could make it!” He told Jongin and Sehun, giving a hug to the both of them. “Really, really, glad,” he whispered into Jongin's ear before letting go. Jongin wasn't surprised that Kyungsoo knew he'd considered not to come. He was one of the people who knew him the best in this world after all. They wished him a happy birthday, only talking for a short while before Kyungsoo ushered them towards the kitchen.

“Don't pretend you aren't here only for the food, I know what you're like, always on the brink of starvation and with bottomless stomachs!”

Jongin left the party ten minutes before twelve, sneaking out quietly without anyone noticing. It hadn't been as uncomfortable and awkward as he'd feared. Kyungsoo's new friends was nice, and he'd ended up talking for quite long with a guy named Minseok about dancing. However he didn't want to be there when he turned 18, didn't want to be near other people, near Kyungsoo, when it was supposed to happen. He still worried that he might discover that there was something wrong with him, or how disappointed he'd feel if the pull didn't appear. Pitying glances really wasn't what he needed right now.

It was cold outside, but Jongin didn't walk directly home. The chances of the pull appearing, and of his soulmate to be close enough to meet immediately was low. For all he knew his soulmate could be asleep, and wouldn't even notice the pull before waking up tomorrow morning. Yet Jongin felt such a longing, a longing that only grew bigger and bigger as the minutes passed by. What if the pull did appear. What if the person was close enough to go see at once. What if they wasn't asleep, and he could meet them, talk to them, touch them, finally feel the rightness that he'd heard so much about.

It had started to snow, and Jongin sought shelter in a nearby bus shelter. The jitteriness he'd felt the entire day eased away as he watched the snow fall. Down, down, until it reached the ground, slowly covering it with a thin layer of white. There was nothing to do except wait. If he didn't feel the pull, if he felt the pull but it was to somewhere too far away, there was nothing he could do about it. And as he realized this, he was finally able to breath properly for the first time in what felt like forever.

Maybe he had to keep loving Kyungsoo, but with time even that would pass. Perhaps it would take years, but even if he still loved him … he'd already accepted that he had to let him go. And he didn't hope for suddenly to feel a pull towards Kyungsoo. He could see how happy Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were together, and he wanted that too, with someone else. With someone of his own.

Jongin shivered, but not because he was cold. Actually he was starting to feel hot, way warmer than he should be on a night like this. The warmth seemed to grow, until it reached all the way from his toes to the tips of his fingers. And then the warmth seemed to shrink away, until he could only feel it in his chest. Jongin could feel his heart pumping, sense it in a way he'd never could before. Suddenly it felt like it was expanding, growing bigger and bigger, even though there was no visible signs of it on the outside. And then, when it felt like his heart was taking so much place that he barely could breathe, pumping blood so hard and fast that he was almost worried that he was dying, it changed again. It was like his heart exploded, shooting out something that kept going forward until suddenly – it met another beating heart.

He was running before he even knew he'd moved. He had to go, had to get there, to where that other heart was. It wasn't far away. Jongin didn't know how he knew, but he knew. And he could feel it, feel how he was closing in on it, how it was moving towards him faster than he was running. His soulmate was there, not far away, not asleep. His other half was moving towards him just as he was moving towards them.

It was a miracle that he didn't slip and fall on the cold and icy ground. Destiny had to be working with him, because he ran and ran without looking at anything except towards where he could feel another beating heart. Yet he didn't fall, and didn't get hit by a car, or suddenly end up on a dead end road.

And then suddenly they were there, right in front of each other. They both breathed heavily as they locked eyes, neither of them able to look away. He looked so beautiful, more beautiful than he'd ever been before. Not that there was anything different, but it was as if suddenly Jongin's eyes saw all the things he'd never noticed before, all those things that the beautiful human in front of him was made up of.

“I … I sometimes thought that it might be you,” Baekhyun said, his voice shaky. Jongin didn't know if it was from the running or from something else, but it didn't matter. Not now that he had all the time in the world to learn exactly how Baekhyun's mind worked, how his face and voice and eyes would change with different emotions. It didn't matter that he didn't know already. Baekhyun was there, and Jongin would learn. He wanted nothing more than to learn. In that moment, Baekhyun was all he ever wanted, and he was there.

“I'm so happy that it's you,” Jongin told him, and he meant it, with all of his heart. Baekhyun smiled, and Jongin was filled with warmth. He could do nothing but smile back. Baekhyun reached forward, his hands enveloping Jongin's. Both of their fingers were cold as ice, but both of them was too filled with warmth in their heart to notice.

“Can I … can I kiss you?” Baekhyun asked bashfully. It was quite out of character, Baekhyun, who always appeared so confident, acting bashful. Jongin found it adorable, and didn't waste another minute with answering. Instead he leaned forward, capturing Baekhyun's cold lips with his own. Their lips became heated up as the snow continued to fall around them, the world muted, everything covered in soft, sparkling white.

Everything was right now.