This based off something that actually happened to me in real life (no it wasn't Jonghyun) but yeah I pretty much shat myself and kenyonce thought it was the funniest thing in the world and wouldn't shut up about it ( you btw)

this is dedicated to you, mr. Iron Man

Bean-P.

Two gays walked into a café.

“Is Ken-Dy supposed to be a euphemism for your ?” Hongbin asked while they lined up.

“Yes.”

“...How is that appropriate for broadcast?”

“People think it’s candy,” Jaehwan responded with that eating grin of his, “You know. Also kind of like my .”

“Hyung.”

“What?”

“You’re ing disgusting.”

“It’s okay. Taekwoon likes it dirty.” Jaehwan turned to their cashier, a girl with faded ombre hair and golden brown eyes, and added, “one caramel macchiato please.”

Hongbin fought the urge to slam the blonde’s forehead into the counter. Instead, he kicked the elder in the shin before ordering his iced americano.

“Right. And what are your names?”

“Kenyonce.”

“U-uhm. Bean Prince.”

The girl nodded and promptly wrote down the two names, while the two boys stood off to the side to wait for their drinks.

“So, Hongbin. How big is your ?” Jaehwan leaned against the counter, his face set in a serious manner. It looked as if he were asking the most serious question in the world that could have set him life from death.

Hongbin choked on his own spit.

“Wh-what?!” he sputtered, “why the hell do you want to know?”

“I’m curious as to whether one’s foot size actually has a correlation to their size,” Jaehwan said simply with an innocent shrug.

“I-I don’t know!” he felt his cheeks burning, “a normal size?”

“Specs or it didn’t happen.”

“What the does that even mean?”

“Specify your size, you uneducated child,” Jaehwan said and rolled his eyes.

“Bean Prince?”

Hongbin perked up at the sound of his nickname and quickly strode over to pick up his drink. Upon picking up the cup, he noticed the name written on it was not the name he had previously asked for. Clearly written on the plastic cup was the name “Iron Man.”

“Uhm excuse me,” Hongbin caught the attention of the barista, “Are you sure this is my drink?”

“Yes it is,” they responded cheerfully, “we just accidentally put your drink into someone else’s. Sorry about that.”

“No no, it’s fine. Thanks.” Hongbin retreated back to Jaehwan’s side with his drink in hand.

“What happened over there? Cute barista hitting on you or something?” Jaehwan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Shut up, sheesh. She just s--”

“THIS ISN’T MY CUP. I ASKED FOR IRON MAN. WHERE IS MY IRON MAN CUP!?” a voice bellowed throughout the cafe, cutting off the pair’s conversation.

“Sir, please calm down it’s-”

“I ASKED FOR IRON MAN. WHY DOES THIS CUP SAY BEAN PRINCE?” the man aggressively gestured at the name, his eyes nearly bulging out of its sockets due to his intense desire for his own personalized cup.

Hongbin looked down at his americano, cold sweat starting to drip nervously, “.”

Jaehwan noticed the cup in Hongbin’s hands and saw the name written on it, then back up at the rageful man.

Iron Man.

He leaned in close to the younger boy who looked about ready to faint and whispered, “is that Jonghyun-sunbaenim?”

“Oh God.”

“Dude. He’s gonna you up.”

“Oh, . Help me!” Hongbin begged while he desperately tried to cover the obnoxiously written name on his cup.

“WHO IS BEAN PRINCE? COME OUT AND GIVE ME BACK MY CUP!” Jonghyun stomped his feet against the ground.

“I think he wants you,” Jaehwan pointed out the obvious and gave the younger boy a little nudge.

“Shut the up!” he nudged back a little harder than intended, causing the elder man to look their way.

“Did you take my cup?” Jonghyun strode over, his voice suddenly dangerously quiet. He craned his neck up to stare at the impossibly tall idols. Hongbin was just about ready to soil himself. Jaehwan was nearly in tears trying to hold back his laughter.

“WELL?1?1?!!?one!!” Jonghyun suddenly dicklared. Hongbin blanched and nearly spilled coffee on himself.

“I-It was an honest mistake!,” he cried, “the barista put it in the wrong cup and I didn’t care so I said okay whatever that’s cool and then Jaehwan was asking me about sizes and-and I’m the visual I’m so sorry please don’t hurt me.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“Oh. Well, that’s okay then.” A large grin took over Jonghyun’s previous frown, startling the terrified bean.

“That’s okay?” he pitifully whimpered.

“Yup! It’s for Key, anyway. Bean Prince will piss him off too.”

“Wait, why?” Jaehwan asked, knowing full well that Hongbin was too much of a weenie rattled to say anything.

“Because it doesn’t say ‘Princess’,” Jonghyun replied with a shrug. “By the way, I liked your new album. I can’t wait for your next comeback!”

“Oh wow. Thanks!”

“No problem! See you guys around!” Jonghyun slapped his hand on Hongbin’s shoulder as a friendly farewell before merrily skipping out of the door while whistling A Pink’s No No No.

“Huh,” Jaehwan commented. He paused and then added, “so, did you piss yourself?”

“...shut up.”

Mr. Iron Man is my hero. 

P.S. we have adventures in our story feed.

-Kenyonce