I loved him. 

“Hey, get up will u?  Come on, get up.  What are you doing lying around for?”

He stayed silent, looking straight ahead, only blinking.

I knelt down beside him, nudging him to move.

“Hey, are you ok?  What is the matter with you?”

Deep inhales and exhales came to and fro from within him.  It alarmed me.

No, don’t tell me…  In disbelief, I shook my head.

“Really?  Now?  No, no way!  I said get up!  Come on!  Don’t pretend to be weak like that!”

Trying to force him onto his feet, I pushed him upwards but to no luck, he plunged back down onto the floor.

I can feel it coming, the pressure of pain in my stomach started rising.  It squeezed my heart.  My hands trembled.

In a softer voice, “Come on, I promised to be with you all day today remember?  We were going to go walk to the park, right?  We have to hurry, come on!”

He lifted his head from the ground and began struggling with all his might to rise but again to no avail.

 I his head.  Tears overflow from my eyes, streaming nonstop.

 “How come you’re…you’re being so difficult today?  You were alright yesterday, what happened?  Was it because I left for a long time?  I had to go to work… I…I won’t leave ever again, ok?  I promise, ok?  O…ok???”

“ Sit up, come on…you…you can at least sit right?  Sit, you understand don’t you?  Sit!”

He finally looked at me, those eyes that were so gentle and sincere.  They pierced me.

“Don’t give me that…are…are you really going to go?  Really…? Don’t…don’t go, don’t go…”

He leaned in deeper into the caress of my hands, still silent.  Only his distant breathing could be heard. 

And it grew ever so weak…

“Don’t leave me by myself…” I whispered.

“If, if you go then I’ll be all by myself…please…”  I cried, begging and wishing this wasn’t happening.

“Please stay…”

I held onto him tighter, much tighter than before hoping that this will help prevent him from disappearing.

He kissed me softly like he usually does…muzzling his face into mine.

Then just like that, it grew quiet and everything around me was still.

Lifeless, his paw limply slid onto the floor.

Chingu died and I am all alone again…

I loved him.