10

He’s just a fine, young dancer, strolling by the sidewalks on a busy night in Seoul. In every shop he passes by, he can hear radios and speakers, singing mellow songs and soft music, making his feet create a graceful prance; until his ears perked up and his feet made an abrupt stop.

He’s a struggling singer, living through his everyday life just with his car, his job and his voice. Singing for a crowd in a small bar is not a big deal for him. If someone requests, he sings. It was a hobby, more or less – a dream that he wanted to reach – before it became a job – the career which his life now fully depended on. He lived on a daily routine, and he assumed that he will live like that until light flashes through his eyes. Not until he heard the bar’s door bell chime.

9

With the melody of his voice, and the simultaneous gliding of Jongin’s feet, the young dancer’s emotions stirred with an unknown but familiar sensation. Rekindling this long-forgotten feeling – drowning him again, making him feel light-headed. Making his dancing and his whole being enveloped with the wonderful sound of his velvety voice.

They were alone together beneath a starless night sky, yet to Kyungsoo’s eyes, it was a night of stars.  Kyungsoo could almost be lost in a whirlwind of emotions. Never had he realized that the word that he once never believed in would come to him in a flesh of a young man. He was surprised yes, but he was elated. His melody and the dancer’s every glide and step made its own chemistry – a chemistry that only love can describe.

8

Having trapped in this whole idea of love again, the monster that he locked up inside of him in the past resurfaced. Jongin never thought that it would come out again. He became possessive and his desire, insatiable -- never understood the difference between work and free time. That’s when Kyungsoo came apart.

Kyungsoo was tired. And this was the time he stepped forward. He never knew that love could be this tiring. He never thought that love could be possessive. He never got a heads up before he entered this. He signed up for this so he must not complain. He may be tired but he will never back down.

7

It was a very special day. A day which they ought to celebrate together – 13^th of January. A performance will be held at the small bar where Kyungsoo works at. As the singer’s lover, of course he had to be at his best appearance and punctuality. He prepared a gift – planning on surprising the singer on stage when he’s at the chorus of the song, soulfully dancing along with the dancer’s favourite sound, Kyungsoo’s voice. The sun met the horizon but the singer’s still not in sight. The moon greeted the people outside, but still, no Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo slept in. He was late for sure. It was already dark when he woke up. Taking his car with him to get to the bar was not on the choices because a bottleneck of traffic greeted him on the street. Why must his luck be absent on this very day? Not taking a break to just fix his bag, he ran and pushed through the crowd. Good thing he knew a shortcut – the alleyway on the next block. In the past, he would never have taken this as an option, but he had to be at the bar. He had to perform, for he had to sing his gift for his lover. But as he said, luck was not on his side today. He came to an abrupt stop because of a sudden gun shot. At the same time, feeling a pain on the back of his head. He heard a ringing sound and his vision blurred, and soon after, white light passed through his eyes.

6

He was lost again. The moment he heard the news, it didn’t sink into the dancer’s mind. It was too sudden. It was like he was snatched from him. Not knowing what to do the moment he got robbed. Jongin knew that he had to accept it. But how could he if he himself is not open to the fact that Kyungsoo’s gone.

Jongin still goes to the small bar every night, living like the accident never happened. To him he was doing fine. But to others, he was like a walking corpse drinking beer that can never satisfy a dead person’s thirst. Serving him another round of beer, the owner of the bar spoke up.

“You need this more than I do.” The owner said, handing Jongin an 8-inch red candle and a match box.

The dancer looked at him, puzzled about what he said and just blabbered nonsensical things. He took the candle and the matchbox. Upon lighting the candle, Jongin turned to speak to the owner but he was gone. He turned his attention back to the candle but what he saw really surprised him.

Kyungsoo was there, smiling brightly in front of him. There’s a mix of emotions in Jongin’s body right now. He doesn’t know if it’s his heart or just his gut telling him to excrete the alcohol waste in his system. He’s just there, staring straight at Kyungsoo. He tried to kiss him but he told the dancer that he’ll be burned and some things might happen. He doesn’t know if it’s just the alcohol taking over him but he’s sure that he was happy.

5

This candle was Kyungsoo’s life, or so Jongin thought. But he wants to believe that idea. He went back to the bar. Good thing the owner was the one behind the counter so he grabbed the opportunity.

“This is weird. I saw him when I lit it up 2 nights ago.” Jongin spoke softly, to which the owner stopped wiping the glasses.

“Use it wisely. People rarely get second chances.” The owner told Jongin, with a hint of mystery in his voice.

“You gave this to me right? Why? What’s the catch?” Jongin questioned, clearly confused to have such a thing.

“I told you, you need it more than I do. Okay, here’s the thing, each time you light up the candle, the person that you badly want to see or you really miss, who’s been dead, will appear. In the flesh, healthy and happy. But the only thing that you have to watch out is for this light to burn out. Meaning, this candle, turning into wax.” The owner explained.

“But you can mould the wax again right? Turn it into a new candle.” Jongin asked.

“You answered your own question. Turning it into a new one. So that means you need a new wick for the new candle to light up. Think of it like this, a new wick is like a new soul. A new person to light up again, going to the point that it will never be Kyungsoo again.”

Jongin stayed silent.

“A single candle is indeed short, but it is long enough if you use it the right way.” The owner finished and left Jongin dazed as he attended a customer asking for a beer.

4

The candle was halfway from turning into wax, and he decided to light the candle inside Kyungsoo’s car. They just spoke there again, catching up to what had happened for the past few days. Jongin never ran out of stories. As much as possible, he never leaves out any detail. Their conversations got deeper and longer, that’s when he realized that the candle lost a quarter of its size before he lit it up a while ago.

The dancer’s mind now floated with questions. What can he do now, when the candle’s size is the same with his ring finger. He doesn’t want to say goodbye again. Though he knows that no matter what, this Kyungsoo will not last long as the Kyungsoo he met a year ago.

3

It was a quiet night and Jongin woke up from a nightmare. He doesn’t want to light up the candle for he’s saving it for a better purpose, but right now, he just wants Kyungsoo by his side.

He was side lying as he lit up the candle and in an instant a warm hug enveloped his once tensed body. He calmed. Jongin calmed because he knew that Kyungsoo is finally there. He lulled the dancer to sleep. Sang his favorite song and caressed his cheek. Jongin felt a gush of wind passed by, and the fire in the candle was put out; making him drift to sleep again.

2

They were alone together beneath a starless night sky, yet to Jongin’s eyes, it was a night of stars.  Jongin wants to be lost again in a whirlwind of emotions. Never had he regretted that he opened his heart once again. Yet he made mistakes, he was happy that Kyungsoo still loved him.

And now that they’re here again, he wants to dance with him again. He wants to dance to the sound of his voice and make him feel that they still had it. They still had that strong chemistry.

Jongin lit up the candle for the last time and as usual, Kyungsoo greeted him with a smile. He let him sing the same song he sang a year ago at this place where it all started. And Kyungsoo smiled knowingly and started singing. Jongin danced again to his lover’s melody. Dancing soulfully, making every step, glide and wave, delicate and graceful. Little did he know that he was already crying.

As soon as the song finished, Jongin walked up to Kyungsoo, staring at him with his eyes full of passion. Kyungsoo wiped the tear-stained cheeks that Jongin forgot to notice.

Jongin saw the candle, and it’s only an inch away from going out. And he knows that it’ll be the last interaction between him and the singer. They exchanged affectionate stares. Jongin can’t hold it back anymore; he doesn’t want Kyungsoo to fade away again. Right at that moment, Jongin broke down. He knelt and cried. He prayed that somehow, a miracle can still happen. He shouted at the top of his lungs; begged the Lord for a miracle.

Kyungsoo knelt in front of him and lifted the dancer’s chin. For the last time, Kyungsoo smiled. He smiled like he’s saying that everything’s going to be okay.

“I love you Jongin. See you again someday.” Kyungsoo said those words to Jongin softly, while caressing his cheeks.

“I love you. And I always will.” Jongin finally said and kissed him softly on the lips, with tears still trickling down on his face.

1

(The day after)

 A young man was found dead on the sidewalk of the street last night.

“Where am I?” Jongin woke up in a room, abundant of the colour white. His skin was greeted by the warm embrace of the sun, signifying that it’s not too long until noon. He was never a late riser but something in him felt refreshed and replenished after that long dose of sleep.

A car was beside the man and it seems that the driver of the vehicle got away.

There was a knock on the door and Jongin stood there for a moment. His mind debated if he will open it or not.

He was brought to the hospital. Paramedics were trying to revive the young man.

Jongin opened the door and to his surprise, a smiling Kyungsoo embraced him.

They did all they could but it was reported that the young man was dead on arrival.

“I missed you. It’s good to see you again.”