“So how are you settling in? You know if you need anything, anything at all, you can come to me and ask,” Chaerin said, as she and Himchan entered one of the many greenhouses of the Imperial Palace.

Chaerin had dropped by Yongguk’s mansion earlier that day under the pretext of needing Himchan’s help in choosing flowers for her wedding bouquet. The truth was she could not care less about such trivial detail. She had chosen the right groom. The whole ceremony could turn into one big fiasco for all she cared—she had Jaebum, and that was all that really mattered. She had just needed the excuse to invite Himchan for a walk. She wanted to make sure the young lady did not feel too lonely in her new home. She knew what it was like to miss one’s family: She herself had been an orphan for seven years. But at least she had Jaebum, Yongguk, Daehyun, and Youngjae. Himchan, on the other hand, was not only away from her family, she was also in an entirely new and strange land. Chaerin made it her personal mission to make sure Himchan felt right at home, even just a little bit.

Himchan was grateful for the respite. It had been a week since that awful night in the warrior’s room. She had not seen him since then. She did not necessarily mind; it provided her the privacy she needed to carry out what she had been ordered to do. But it was not easy. She had to be careful not to arouse the maids’ suspicions. They were already wary of her to begin with. She knew they did not trust her and that even a few them wanted to see her suffer. But, since she was the master’s wife, it was their duty to serve her. It did not, however, mean they had to do so with courtesy and respect. It was a common occurrence for Himchan to eat cold food, bathe in cold water, and find her clothes messily stored in the small trunk in her room. But none of these bothered her in the slightest. If they only knew the truth, they would be embarrassed to know that their displays of hostility were nothing compared to what she had been through: not knowing if she would be able to eat that day, or taking a bath in whatever river she could find, or sewing together the good parts of her old garments so Jongup did not have to freeze in tattered clothes during the winter.

Still, if she were asked to choose which life she would rather have, she would choose her past in a heartbeat. Yes, she had had none of the luxuries she had now, but back then she had her brother, and they were happy. Now, surrounded with the riches entitled to her for being the wife of the king’s most favored soldier, she was living a lie. And worse, she did not know where her brother was.

She missed him terribly. He was the only reason that she even had the will to live. She had to find him and take him back. And the only way she could do that was to give the King of Ilsan what he was demanding. But how? Himchan had searched endlessly for maps, letters, anything that seemed even remotely close to a war plan, but she had come up empty. The warrior was not only meticulous, he was suspicious as well. By the third day of going through the house (except for the wing where the warrior's room was), Himchan had the sinking feeling that he had hidden everything he thought was important before she had even arrived in Seoul. This left her with her last and final option: Make him trust her. She did not want to resort to that. If he trusted her, she would be betraying him. At least if he thought of her as nothing, there was ultimately nothing to betray. She had thought of other ways to fulfill her bargain with the King of Ilsan, but as days came and went with nothing in her hands, she knew she was left with no choice. She had to swallow her principles. She had to, or she would never see her beloved brother again. She was, however, finding it hard to go about with her plan, just when she had finally convinced herself that her parents would understand her intentional disregard for the values they had instilled in her.

The warrior was never in the house. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to detecting her presence for she never saw him anywhere, not since that night in his room. And she could not just ask the maids where he was and go to him. For one, she knew they would not tell her. Two, the warrior had already warned her not to show herself to him unless he specifically asked for her. So Himchan was left with wasted days, locked in her room with nothing to do but pray for her brother’s safety. Thinking of Jongup did not really console her. She was constantly imagining all sorts of horrible scenarios of what could be happening to him. One night, she had woken up with a start, sweating and shivering, and, she suspected, screaming for him. She had not been able to fall asleep again.

So when one of the maids had told her that Lee Chaerin was waiting for her in the living room, Himchan had felt relieved. She did not really know the woman, but she was happy for the chance to do something else that would, even for a moment, take her mind off the terrible reality she was living.

“Thank you, unni,” Himchan said softly, following Chaerin into the greenhouse. She looked up and could not help exclaiming in amazement, “Oh my, what place is this? It’s… It’s beautiful!”

Chaerin turned to her and grinned. “This is my favorite of the indoor gardens. I think it’s especially homey yet elegant, don’t you think so?”

Himchan could only nod in furtive agreement; she was still very much entranced. She always loved flowers and gardens and meadows. This one, by far, surpassed anything she had ever seen. Aisles and aisles of potted flowers stretched out before them. Flowering trees stood like decorated sentinels along the sides. And in the middle of the space was a huge stone fountain with a statue of a woman pouring water from her vase.

Himchan smiled for the first time. Chaerin saw the wonder on her face and could not help but share in it. “I take it you like flowers?”

“Like flowers? I love them,” Himchan said breathlessly, still drinking in the beauty of her surroundings.

“Perfect! I know nothing about them except that some are red and others are white or yellow or orange. You, Lady Himchan, are now my chief counsel on blossoms,” Chaerin proclaimed, smiling at her friend. She walked to one pretty bush and held up a white bud for Himchan to see. “How about this? It’s white.”

Himchan bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Uhm, unni. That one’s usually used for funerals.”

“Oh is it!” Chaerin laughed. “I don’t think Jaebum oppa would be particularly pleased if he thought I’m thinking of the wedding as a death march.” She stepped towards a potted orange plant. “This one looks happy and cheerful. Do you think I can have this in the bouquet?”

“Uhm, not if you wish to tell the king you think he’s jealous and cynical.”

Chaerin giggled. “He is but you’re right. It’s best if we just let him think otherwise,” she said, winking at Himchan. She touched the flower next to it. “How about this one?”

Himchan nodded, smiling. “That one’s appropriate.”

“No death or jealousy or cynicism hiding behind these petals?”

“No,” Himchan replied, laughing. “That flower actually symbolizes contentment.”

Chaerin clapped her hands. “Perfect! That’s exactly how I feel!” She picked a stalk for Himchan but caught the sad smile on her friend’s face before she could hide it. “Oh Himchan-ssi, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I did not mean to make you miss your family even more. I…”

Himchan shook her head vehemently. “Oh no no no unni, please don’t be sorry! Really, I’m okay. I just…” She stopped and seemed to be deliberating her next words. Chaerin tilted her head but did not press her. After a while, Himchan sighed and continued, “I just miss my brother. That’s all.”

“I did not know you had a brother,” Chaerin said. It was not surprising though. It was no secret that the King of Ilsan was prolific. He probably had a hundred wives, mistresses, and girlfriends combined. But Jaebum had told her Himchan was a daughter of the second wife. As far as Chaerin was concerned, the second wife did not bear the King any son. That was why he had to marry a third time.

Himchan blinked. Oh no. How many sons did the King have? Did Chaerin unni know all of them? Quick, Himchan, think of something! “Uhm, erhm,” Himchan stalled, wracking her brain for any excuse. “He’s a half-brother. But I think of him as my brother because Mother practically raised him.” Okay stop there. Oh please let that be plausible.

“Ahhh,” Chaerin said, smiling. “Why, Himchan-ssi, your mother must have been a very nice woman. I don’t think it was easy for her to raise another woman’s son. I’m sorry, by the way. You must have been young when she passed away.”

Himchan nodded, thinking of her real mother.

“Oh good Lord, here I am making you sad again,” Chaerin exclaimed, her forehead furrowed in worry. She took Himchan’s hands and said, “Tell you what, let’s go and visit your brother. I’m sure Yongguk oppa won’t mind to accompany us. If he’s too busy, we can always ask Daehyunnie oppa.”

Himchan paled. “Unni, no!” She had not meant to scream it but she was starting to panic. “I’m sorry, it’s just that…”

Chaerin stopped her. “Himchan, you silly girl, don’t worry about that anymore. When you married Yongguk oppa, any animosity our kingdoms might have had in the past died the moment your father signed the agreement. We’re family now.”

Oh unni, if you only knew… “No unni, it’s just that…uhm…my brother, he’s not in Ilsan right now. He’s…uhm…spending some time with his mother in…uhm…in Busan. And they might be vacationing someplace else, I really don’t know. In fact, I haven’t seen my brother for months. That’s… That’s why I miss him so much,” Himchan stammered helplessly. She hated lying and was not too sure if Chaerin bought it.

“Oh… Okay,” Chaerin said, feeling slightly troubled. She could sense Himchan was afraid of something. Or someone. She had paled when she heard Yongguk’s name. What had her father told her about Yongguk? Chaerin did not trust the King of Ilsan for a very valid reason, and she would not put past the man the possibility that he had told his daughter horrifying stories about Yongguk. Chaerin could feel the anger rising in her. She loved Yongguk like he was her own brother, and she did not want him to be married to a woman who thought of him as a monster.

Himchan had to know the truth.

“Himchan-ssi, can we talk like sisters?” Chaerin said, looking into Himchan’s eyes. Himchan nodded and followed her to the bench. Chaerin twisted the flower in her hands as if her life depended on it. She did not know where to start. After a stretch of silence, she began, “Did anybody ever tell you the story of how your older half-brother died?" When Himchan looked at her blankly, she said, "I guess when everything happened, you were very young and not yet living in Ilsan. And so you were probably shielded from word of what had transpired.”

Chaerin turned to her and smiled. “Please know I am only telling you this so you can understand that Yongguk oppa is not the devil incarnate. He is who he is because of what had happened. You may not believe me because I’m his friend. But I was there. And I have been with him since then. I have witnessed what that kind of pain can do to a person… Please don’t be offended if I don’t think much of your father. It does not mean I think you take after him. From the short amount of time I’ve spent with you, I can tell you are nothing like him.”

Himchan nodded, not really understanding. Chaerin was silent for a while before saying, “I remember Han Dongmin was married to Shin Hyunah back then. They had five daughters and one son. As you may know, your father served as counsel to the King of Ilsan. King Park Jaesuk. Jaebum oppa’s father.

“Yongguk oppa was the son of the General of the King’s army. Naturally, he and Jaebum oppa practically spent every waking moment together. They’re closer than brothers. Jung Daehyun, General of the King’s Army, was the son of one of the king’s guards. Yoo Youngjae, Jaebum’s chief counsel, was the son of the head chef in the Palace. I was the daughter of one of the tenants. All five of us were playmates, along with Yonghwa oppa, Han Dongmin’s first son, your older half-brother. His sisters did not really like playing with us because of me. They thought I was not worthy enough to be even near the prince. I think they’re going to faint if they know I’m marrying him now.

“Anyway, Yongguk oppa had an older sister. Her name was Hana. She was…everything one could hope to be,” Chaerin related, smiling as she pictured her childhood hero. “She was beautiful, charming, and genuinely nice. Yongguk oppa thought the world of her and looked up to her. Their mother died giving birth to Yongguk opa so it was Hana unni who nurtured him like a mother. I thought she was an angel. All the boys in the kingdom wanted to marry her, I think. But Hana unni only loved Yonghwa oppa. But they had to keep it a secret. Hana unni was betrothed to Jaebum oppa you see. She was four years older than Jaebum oppa though so he always only thought of her as his older sister. All of us would help her see Yonghwa oppa secretly. It was our favorite game: to come up with the best hiding place for them.”

Chaerin’s smile faded as she started to recount the awful day, when everything suddenly went wrong.

“But on the day of the accident, our best-kept secret started to unravel. Yongguk oppa had told his sister and Yonghwa oppa of a cave in the cliffside. I remember thinking it was by far the best hiding place and we were all patting Yongguk oppa on the back. He was the shyest member of our group, our band of misfits as we liked to think of ourselves, so he was really happy that he had come up with the best idea. But we did not foresee the tragedy ahead…

“There was a terrible storm that afternoon. It bore down on the land so quickly that there was no time to warn them. The ocean swelled so fast. Everything happened so fast. Yonghwa oppa drowned while he was trying to save Hana unni. We barely got her to safety. When word got around about what happened, it was an awful shock to the whole kingdom. However, I think people were more occupied on discussing their secret love affair than actually being sad over Yonghwa oppa’s death. The king then ordered for the general. People said he was livid when he learned of the reason why the two had been in the cave. He had wanted Hana unni for his own son. People say he had ordered for his general to appear before him, along with unni, to demand an explanation. The general did go to him but he hid unni and Yongguk oppa in one of the rooms. And just minutes later, Han Dongmin stormed out from the king’s quarters, shouting how the general had slain the king.

“Chaos ensued. The guards ran to Han Dongmin. He was bloodied, his arm had a big gash running the length of it. He said the king had accused the general of making a fool out of him and had called Hana unni a . This had so angered the general that he struck the king with his sword. Han Dongmin, as he claimed, had tried to stop him and had gotten wounded in the process. Then when the general had seen what he had done, he killed himself.

“Han Dongmin then proclaimed the general a traitor. That meant everyone in his household was also a traitor, especially his children. The guards set out to burn the general’s house. One of the lieutenants found Hana unni and Yongguk oppa in the room where their father had left them.

“The guards dragged both of them out into the courtyard. Hana unni fought them off the best she could, trying very hard to protect Yongguk oppa. But it was all in vain. One of the soldiers raised his sword and struck her dead, as if she were some common criminal. I saw everything from the window. It was like some horrific nightmare. One moment she was alive, fiery, indignant. The next, she was in oppa's arms, lifeless.

“I can still see in my mind the terrible anguish on Yongguk oppa’s face as he looked at his beloved sister. He was shaking her and screaming at her to wake up. I don’t think it had dawned on him yet that she could not, that even though she had always fulfilled his wishes before, here was finally the one thing she could not do for him. Oppa was crying so hard that I thought he had gone mad. I really believe that was the moment he stopped being a child, that he stopped seeing the world with childlike wonder. He changed right before my eyes, in that instant he hugged his sister’s body close to his heart.

“The soldier had again raised his sword, intending to kill oppa next. But then the doors opened, and I saw Jaebum oppa walk over to them. He told them he wished to deal with the son of his father’s murderer himself. The guards obeyed his command for he was now their king. I really thought he was going to kill him. I am ashamed now to have ever doubted the strength of their bond.

“Jaebum oppa, all twelve years of him, declared as strongly as he could, ‘This is my brother. He is no longer his father’s son but my brother. Anyone who wishes to do him harm will answer to me.’ The guards did not know what to do. It was then that Han Dongmin stepped out from the shadows where he was hiding and told Jaebum oppa it was not for him to decide, that it was what the law demanded of every traitor. He challenged Jaebum oppa and asked him if he thought he was above the law. Oppa said no. Of course he was not. But as king, he was entitled to pardon anyone. He then proposed to Han Dongmin that he would give up his throne to him in exchange for Yongguk oppa’s pardon. Han Dongmin agreed, but he did not settle for the throne alone. Oh, no, that was not enough for the great Han Dongmin. He demanded for Jaebum oppa and Yongguk oppa to be exiled as well.

“Jaebum oppa agreed and left his birthplace, his home, his kingdom. A lot of us citizens followed. We believe him to be the rightful king. Even though he was really young, Jaebum oppa has always been destined to lead. He just has that gift. He built this kingdom from nothing. In fifteen years, Seoul has grown from a tiny village to a vast empire.

“With the passing of time, most of us have moved on. A lot have forgotten about that night. But to Yongguk oppa, it’s as if it only happened yesterday. He has lived every single day since that night bent on killing the soldier who had killed his sister. He doesn’t like your father for declaring his own father a traitor but he cannot entirely blame him for what happened. Oh, no. I’m sorry, Himchan-ssi, but I just wish he would. I wish he would so he can stop torturing himself.”

Chaerin started plucking the flower’s petals one by one. More to herself, she said softly, “Yongguk oppa blames himself more than anybody else. He thinks if only he had not suggested the cave, everything would be alright, that Yonghwa oppa would still be alive and, more importantly, that Hana unni would still be around to sing him the songs of his childhood. He wants to kill the soldier who had murdered his sister, but I think after he does, he’ll also kill himself. This is what Jaebum oppa, Daehyun oppa, Youngjae, and I have been trying to avoid. Jaebum oppa has let Yongguk oppa think he’s all for suppressing Ilsan. But the truth of the matter is that is the last thing Jaebum oppa wants. That is why he only orders attacks on cities and kingdoms that attack us first. He never strikes unless provoked. He doesn’t believe in invasions for the sole purpose of claiming the land. He only wants to protect his people. By sticking to this prerogative, he also manages to keep Yongguk oppa from striking against Ilsan and, ultimately, from killing himself.”

Chaerin saw Himchan’s horrified look and hastily added, “But Himchan-ssi it is not your fault. None of what happened is your fault! You do not need to worry. Yongguk oppa is a fair man. He might be a legend when it comes to bloody battles, but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect justice. He might not exactly be warm towards you now but just give him time, okay? Just excuse him if he doesn’t exactly seem friendly. He’s been through a lot… But really, he’s a very good man.”

Himchan was not thinking about Yongguk’s indifference to her; she already knew that he did not think much of her. He had told her so. What Chaerin saw as horror on her face was actually guilt and shame.

She had been able to rationalize her plans back then, when she did not know the man behind the warrior she was going to betray. Now that she knew what pain and horror he had lived through, she felt some sort of connection to him. He was not so different from her. Both of them would do absolutely anything, even die, for their loved ones.

She finally understood what she saw in his eyes. It was the same desperation she found in hers.

She stared ahead and knew she could never look at him the same way again. He was no longer just a heartless war machine. He was a tormented soul, trapped in his own guilt.

Himchan closed her eyes, picturing the little boy holding his whole world in his arms as she took her last breath. She wondered what his sister must have whispered to him that last moment of her life. Then it came to her as clearly as if she were in her place, for like the beautiful Hana, she was also a sister. It was what she constantly whispered to the moon to carry to her own brother.

Everything will be alright. I love you.

She felt her heart break for the millionth time as the last of the petals drifted sadly to the cold earth.