prompt: the members secretly gang up on sehun and pester him about what luhan's going to do when he graduates college and then sehun gets really paranoid and then (*spoiler spoiler*) yeah happens

for jenni, i was kind of worried that there isn't enough fluff in this so yeah let me know how this goes

—∞—

                “Hey gu—whoa,” Jongdae does a double take, halfway towards his desk before he turns and catches sight of Sehun. “What the hell man?”

                “What?” Sehun asks, looking up from his usual beanbag chair.

                “The hipster is strong with you today.”

                Sehun shrugs, setting his paper coffee cup down and pulling out his MacBook in order to study his beanie-and-thick-rimmed-glasses-clad reflection in the blank screen. “I get the urge to look like one every once in a while.”

                “Dude, you seriously didn’t buy campus coffee, did you? That better not be coffee in that cup—”

                “Chill, it’s green tea.”

                “Wow, you really went all out today, didn’t you?”

                “Go hard or go home.”

                “So, Sehun,” Minseok says nonchalantly from his desk without looking away from his computer, “what are your plans for when Luhan graduates?”

                “Mine? I dunno, I wasn’t planning anything special. I’ll probably just mooch off of him when he gets his new place downtown.”

                “You don’t think he’ll be too busy?”

                Sehun looks up, the top half of his face just peeking out over the massive oversized scarf swallowing his neck and shoulders whole. “Busy?”

                “Yeah, you know, cause I heard he already has some interviews lined up for when he graduates. His new job might make him work overtime, you know, to break him in, see if he’s up for the task.”

                “You really think they’ll do that to a new employee?”

                “I dunno, man. All I’m saying is he’s gonna be working regular full-time hours from now on and he might have to do a little extra at home on top of that and it’s gonna be rough finding the time to do much else.”

                “He doesn’t have to make too much time for me,” Sehun says, refocusing his attention on his game of Candy Crush. “If I’m hanging around his place anyway then he can just talk to me when he’s at home.”

                “You’re not worried you’ll be distracting him?”

                “I wouldn’t distract him,” Sehun says, almost petulantly, before abruptly setting his laptop aside and standing up. “I’m going to get more tea, you people want something?”

                “Nah, I’m good.”

                “Nope.”

                Sehun walks out without another word.

                Minseok waits for a beat of silence, before leaning over to one side so that he can look at Jongdae past their computer monitors. “Is this really going to work?”

                “Trust, it’s foolproof,” Jongdae grins. “The seed has been planted. Now all we need to do is sit back and watch.”

                “You made this?”

                “Yeah.”

                Baekhyun stares. “You did not make this.”

                “I did!” Jongin whines insistently.

                “No you didn’t. There’s no ing way. You got Kyungsoo to make this for you, didn’t you?”

                “NO I did not! I looked up the recipe and made it completely on my own, is that so hard to believe?!”

                “Yeah, it is,” Sehun says, as he picks up a load of noodles with his chopsticks. “Because it tastes like my mother’s cooking.”

                Jongin brightens, instantly overjoyed. “Really?”

                “Yeah, really. So how long did it take for Kyungsoo to—”

                “I MADE THE NOODLES OKAY?!”

                “Why the did you make a small mountain’s worth of japchae anyway?” Kris asks, as he dishes his third helping onto his oil-stained paper plate.

                “I took that English course on autobiographies and stuff and one of the books we had to read was ‘Julie and Julia’ and the prof thought it’d be cool if we did a potluck while we watched the movie in class but I overestimated how much food I needed to make and. . .yeah.”

                “Dude, you know you’re not actually supposed to make enough to feed everyone, right?” Baekhyun says, crunching on a piece of red pepper. “Potlucks don’t work like that. Firstly because you can’t count on everyone taking some, and secondly because everyone else has food to bring in as well. For your class you probably only would’ve needed enough to feed like, maybe ten.”

                “Are you seriously complaining while you’re eating the extras right now?”

                “. . .You’re right, I’ll shut up now.”

                “Hey man, you’re not gonna save any for Luhan or anything?” Kris asks, looking towards Sehun.

                Sehun mulls this over for a second. “. . .Nah, his loss if he’s not here right now. And I’m kind of enjoying this a little too much.”

                Jongin looks like he wants to cry at that, but Kris just snorts. “How thoughtful of you.”

                “Listen dude, sharing food while he’s next to me is one thing, but holding onto uneaten food and waiting for him to arrive so I can watch him eat it by himself?”

                “You’re making that sound a lot more awful than it probably is.”

                “Do you cook, Sehun?” Baekhyun asks, just before loading his mouth with his next bite.

                “Not really. Unless breakfast counts.”

                “Which is mostly just toast,” Jongin adds.

                “There is a very strong divide between toast and French toast, thank you very much,” Sehun shoots back.

                “Are you planning to learn?” Baekhyun asks, before Jongin can respond to this.

                “Uh, no? Why would I?”

                “Iunno,” Baekhyun shrugs, pushing his food around his plate. “Figured it might be a useful skill to learn. Especially for you.”

                Sehun looks up, eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Why. . .?”

                “Oh, you know, cause of Luhan graduating and getting a job and everything,” Baekhyun says. “I heard you guys were planning to sort of live together—”

                “Code for Sehun constantly hanging around and eating all of his food and using up his precious water and electricity—”

                “Jongin if you do not want this chopstick shoved up your in the next five seconds—”

                “Anyways,” Baekhyun interrupts loudly again, “I figured you might want to, you know, find a way to make yourself useful.”

                Sehun pauses, a frown briefly flickering over his features. “What do you mean?”

                “Well, put it this way, Luhan’s going to be working full-time soon and he may or may not be busy and-or under a lot of stress. He’s not going to have much time to be taking care of two people at once, especially with you still being in school and all.”

                “It’ll be tough,” Kris agrees. “Last thing someone fresh out of college needs is to be doubling on babysitting duty while he’s struggling to make a solid living for himself.”

                “He’s not babysitting me,” Sehun says, and his voice sounds level and confident enough, but the slight frown is still there. “He won’t be babysitting me.”

                “If I were you I’d look into getting some kind of internship somewhere,” Jongin says, picking at the discarded pile of mushrooms sitting on the edge of Kris’ plate. “That way you can make it sort of look like you’re working and Luhan won’t feel as weird about telling his colleagues that you’re still in school.”

                “Colleagues?” Sehun echoes.

                “Yeah man, once he starts working he’s gonna be with people who are either around his age or older, and they’re all going to be on the same page, you know, with the business and stuff. They’ll do that thing where they’ll want to take him out for dinner or drinks or something to welcome him into the group and then they’ll start asking personal questions and eventually Luhan will have to get around to explaining you.”

                “Explaining,” Sehun says flatly.

                “Well, there is a four year .”

                “Luhan and I have already been over that. It’s not an issue.”

                Baekhyun shrugs. “Ah, well. Guess you guys can figure it out then,” he says, which only makes Sehun frown even harder.

                “Need more paper plates,” Kris says then, shoving on Sehun’s shoulder. “Go.”

                “Why do I have to—”

                “Youngest.”

                “Damn you,” Sehun mutters under his breath, but obediently gets up, taking his food with him, and goes out in search of the supplies.

                Jongin sighs. “I feel kind of bad,” he says. “But at the same time...”

                “You don’t?” Baekhyun finishes, smirking.

                “I’ve seen what he looks like when he blows. It’s very rewarding.”

                “All assuming we get to actually witness it,” Kris says, forgoing his plate entirely and just pulling the entire container of japchae into his lap now. “I can only hope someone has the brains to get it on tape.”

                “Think it’ll top Jongdae’s video of Joonmyun crying after we got first place at that charity event last year?”

                “Haha, no.”

                “So basically all you have to remember,” Chanyeol says, “is that perfect people are boring. They’re too good to be true. Protagonists should only be as nice as people are in real life. Otherwise you’ve got a Gary Sue on your hands and nobody wants those, trust me on that.”

                “How do you know so much about writing anyway?” Tao says, as he scribbles Chanyeol’s advice down in the cramped margins of his already-loaded notebook.

                At that Chanyeol gives an awkward little cough. “Well, I write.”

                “Write what?”

                “You know.”

                “. . .Uh, no, I don’t?”

                “Well, stuff. I write stuff.”

                “Can I read some of i—”

                “No.”

                “Why not?”

                “It’s highly confidential.”

                “As in the majority of it is probably published online somewhere under a pseudonym,” Jongdae says, taking out handful after handful of trail mix from the bag in his lap and picking out the cashews for Tao to eat before shoving the rest into his mouth.

                “Dude, shut up.”

                “It’s online?” Tao asks, eyes brightening.

                 “SHUT UP—”

                 “Hey, c’mon, leave him alone, I wouldn’t want people looking at my work unless I wanted them to see it either,” Kris says, slurping soup from a small Styrofoam container with a plastic spoon. “It’s a complicated matter.”

                “Yeah, Kris can relate, he probably has all sorts of crappy- drawings posted on deviantART from when he was in his weeaboo phase in the eighth grade—”

                Kris suddenly makes a quick flicking motion with his soup spoon, and a second later Tao flinches violently in his seat.

                “Did you just throw your soup at me?” Tao says incredulously, staring at Kris.

                “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kris says, before holding Tao’s gaze and taking another long, loud slurp of soup from his spoon.

                “Ew, gross, could you eat a little more quietly?” Jongdae makes a face. “The tension between you two makes me want to throw up my trail mix.”

                “Excuse you, Jongdae, I don’t know where you come into this but—”

                “Kris,” Joonmyun says, without looking up from his newspaper, “don’t play with your food.”

                “’Kay.”

                “Jesus, Kris, you are so whipped—”

                “Tao shut the up before I pour this soup down your crotch.”

                “Hey, where’s Luhan?” Jongdae says then, looking around as if noticing his absence for the first time. “Isn’t he usually here right around now?”

                “Yeah, I think so. Hey, Sehun,” Tao says, looking over at Sehun, “where’s your boyfriend?”

                “Coming,” Sehun says grumpily, toying with his phone.

                “Hey man, what’s with the sour look?” Chanyeol asks, turning in his seat with very well-executed, genuine-looking concern. “You guys didn’t have a fight or anything, did you? Cause I heard Luhan’s been hired for a possible spot on the marketing management team for Kraft so I thought maybe you’d be—”

                “WHAT?”

                “. . .Oh —”

                “Chanyeol, you retard,” Tao throws a cashew at his head, “Luhan hasn’t said anything yet, it was supposed to be—”

                “Isn’t that him now?” Kris says suddenly, and everyone shuts up long enough to hear a familiar voice approaching from down the hallway.

                “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s—”

                Sehun shoots out of his beanbag and bolts out of the room, and not two seconds later there’s a yell of “HOLY SWEET JESUS what the —”

                “I’M SORRY FOR BEING A LITTLE I DON’T MEAN TO BE A BURDEN I KNOW I ACT LIKE A KID SOMETIMES BUT IT’S BECAUSE I’M YOUNG AND IN COLLEGE I JUST WANTED TO LIVE—”

                “Sehun oh my god wait I don’t understa—”

                “I CAN BE RESOURCEFUL I CAN MAKE FRENCH TOAST IT’S REALLY GOOD I SWEAR I MADE JONGIN EAT IT—”

                “What are you talking about what’s—holy are you crying?”

                “I KNOW I'M STILL IN SCHOOL BUT I’LL GET A PART TIME JOB SO THAT I CAN PAY FOR MY OWN FOOD AND I WON’T GET IN YOUR WAY I’LL BE STRONG AND SUPPORTIVE WHILE YOU MANAGE SELLING CHEESE SLICES AND JUST DON’T DUMP ME FOR ONE OF YOUR COLLEAGUES—”

                “What the fu—cheese sli—wait a second—”

                “WE CAN MEET UP TO EAT DURING YOUR LUNCH BREAKS WE CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR JOB I’LL KEEP YOUR APARTMENT CLEAN FOR YOU I’LL WEAR AN APRON WHILE I MAKE YOU FOOD I’VE GOT HIGH HEELS—”

                “Oh my god those ing arseholes—”

                And right at that moment Kyungsoo hurriedly slips into the clubroom and closes the door behind him, before staring at everyone else in the room.

                “You guys totally lied about Luhan getting a job, didn’t you?” Kyungsoo says accusingly, giving particularly sharp stares to Tao and Jongdae.

                “We didn’t lie, per se,” Jongdae says, fighting back a grin. “We just exaggerated.”

                “Yeah, I mean, Luhan will get a job,” Tao nods. “Eventually.”

                “You all do realize that the second he’s calmed Sehun down enough Luhan will come tearing in looking to rip apart anyone in here likely to have had a hand in this?”

                There was a pause. “Oh, —”

                “Abort abort abort,” Kris says with wide eyes, nearly tripping over his feet in his haste to get up from his desk, “we gotta leave now—”

                “We can’t go out there, are you insane?!” Chanyeol panics, quickly reaching out and grabbing hold of Kris’ jacket as he tries to run past and whirling him around again. “He’ll see us that way!”

                “I see you guys planned this out extremely well,” Kyungsoo snorts, not looking sympathetic for the rest of them in the slightest.

                “Oh my god, just—”

                Chanyeol and Kris seem to get the same idea at exact same moment, both of their heads snapping in Kyungsoo’s direction, and just like that Kyungsoo’s on the verge of being ripped in half as the two of them suddenly start struggling for him, one arm each.

                “Hey what the hell—?!”

                “Let go, I grabbed him first,” Chanyeol says through gritted teeth.

                “What are you guys do—you’re not seriously trying to use me for protection?!”

                “I can’t, man,” Kris says as he struggles to get the upper hand, “I need him more than you do, Luhan likes you more than me—”

                “Forget it, get your own!” Chanyeol shoves hard on Kris’ shoulder, effectively detaching him from Kyungsoo, and Kris gets this frantic expression on his face before whirling to face Joonmyun, right before Tao looks up and makes eye contact with Kris.

                The reaction is immediate. “NO—!” Kris bolts and makes a desperate dive for Joonmyun’s chair at the same time that Tao lunges out of his chair and runs around the double desks to reach Joonmyun’s space, and the three of them all end up crashing to the ground in a tangled mess of limbs.

                “Tao you little I saw him first—!”

                “ off, Joonmyun likes me more than you—”

                “Boys, for god’s sake—”

                The sound of the clubroom door banging open cuts loudly through the din of the room. “WHAT THE HELL, ERS—”

                “RUN! EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!!”

                “Just so we’re clear,” Luhan says, “I wouldn’t take a job working for Kraft anyway.”

                Sehun nods. He’s been pretty quiet in the aftermath of the absolute slaughterhouse Luhan made of the clubroom earlier, sniffling occasionally and keeping answers to all questions short. Luhan sighs.

                “Hey, look, I know this is going to be a big thing, me graduating and all,” Luhan says, “but I swear the only thing that needs changing is the dynamics of how we hang out, not our actual relationship. You don’t need to take business courses to talk to me about whatever job I get or learn how to cook, not unless you want to. Sounds way too domestic for me anyway.”

                Sehun plays with his thumbs in his lap. “Really?”

               “Yeah. There’s a reason this has worked out for so long now. If I wasn’t impressed with all the dumb that comes out of your mouth I don’t think we’d be here right now.”

                Sehun side-eyes him. “You don’t mind that I’m kind of stupid?”

                “I wouldn’t call it stupid,” Luhan smiles, “but no, I don’t mind.”

                There’s a pause, and then Sehun breaks into a small smile of his own. “Good, because I’ve really been wanting to talk to you about dying my hair pink but I was worried it would blow the whole ‘I-can-be-an-adult-too’ thing out of the water.”

                “Oh my god, you actually want to dye your hair pink?”

                “You don’t think it’d look good? Like a really light bubble-gum pink or something?”

                “Oh, I thought you meant like hot pink or something. Yeah, why not, go for it.”

                "Really?"

                "Yeah, you look good in pretty much anything anyway."

                “I love you.”

                “You’re such an idiot.”