Run Away

Yoochun shook his head as he watched the young people passing by his car. They were clearly hurrying so they won’t be caught under the rain. He looked up and saw gray clouds forming in one corner of the sky. He smiled a bit when he saw a small drop of rain pelt his window. One more drop fell and another and another. Until it started to rain really hard. He thought that he couldn’t really help it, he had to leave now or he’ll be late.

He was about to put his car into gear when he felt the door of his car’s back seat open and a man came in. He inwardly sighed. Yoochun forgot to put the ‘occupied’ sign on his taxi. Now he had to deal with this customer.

“I’m sorry, sir. I am not going to drive now—“Yoochun started but he was cut off by the man’s hurried sentence.

“Ajusshi, can you take me to Rose Hall, please? It’s really very important.”

Yoochun should have said no, he knew it was on the tip of his tongue but he happened to look at the man and he froze. The guy was clearly upset. His voice sounded rushed and his face looked like he had just woken up. But what really took his attention were the man’s eyes. His eyes were puffy and rimmed red; it was as if he just cried. Any answer that he was going to say died on his lips when he saw his eyes. He just found himself complying as he turned his car engine on.

He remembered the man said he was going to Rose Hall. He mused. Rose Hall was one of the plushiest wedding halls in Seoul. Yoochun had seen some famous people get married in that wedding hall. He looked at the man from his rear view mirror. The man was wearing what seemed like a formal wear. Black dress pants with a matching black jacket. His white crisp shirt was tucked hastily in his pants. His bow tie was obviously just thrown carelessly. Clearly, he was in a hurry to leave his house in this bad weather.

The man seemed to have felt Yoochun’s gaze so he looked up and caught him staring at him. Yoochun had the grace to blush a little. He squirmed in his seat as he promptly looked forward on the road. After a few minutes, his eyes strayed to the man again. Curiosity was eating him. He simply just couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m staring but I was just wondering why you’re in such a hurry. Rose Hall is a bit far away. Do you need to get there on time for your wedding?” Yoochun asked the man.

He saw the man flinch at his words but he spoke sternly. “I-I think it’s none of your business. Just keep on driving please.”

Yoochun smiled wryly. He knew the man would say that. Who was he anyway to ask? He murmured an apology and he continued driving. After a few moments of silence, the man shifted behind him. His eyes moved to the rear view mirror again and saw that the man now got his face buried in his hands. Then Yoochun heard the man heaved a sigh and his shoulders started shaking. Yoochun then knew that the man was crying again. A sudden emotion twisted in his chest as he looked at the man. Uncertainty furrowed his brows, what should he do? Should he stop the car? Or should he just keep on driving? This had never happened to him in his entire career in driving a taxi. All his passengers were very busy people, they were all the same. So he had never had a passenger crying in his taxi yet.

One more look at the man’s bent form made Yoochun decide to just stop the car. He pulled over by the side of the road and stopped the engine. Yoochun turned back to the man behind him. He was still hunched on his knees. His quiet sobs seemed loud inside the small space of the car. Yoochun didn’t know what to do so he just did the first thing that came to his mind.

He moved from the driver’s seat and sat behind it; beside the crying man. The guy didn’t even acknowledge his presence. Instead his sobs seemed to be more frequent. Yoochun’s heart felt heavy at this sound. He was one who never wanted to witness anyone lonely. Whenever he saw a woman cry, his heart broke a little. Now that he was looking at a man crying, he was more at a loss on what to do. He had never done any consoling in his life. But in his inner thoughts he knew that he didn’t want the man to cry.

Before he could even stop himself, Yoochun’s arms were extending and draping over the guy’s shoulders. Yoochun was almost scared that his goodwill would be rejected but he was surprised when the man didn’t move away but instead seemed to lean into his touch. His arms automatically moved to embrace the crying man. He moved even closer and shifted his weight on the seat. So the two of them were sitting very close to each other. Their shoulders were close and their hips and the length of their thighs were touching. But no one seemed to notice how they were sitting at the moment.

He noticed that the man was very much lonely as he crooned nonsensical words in the man’s ears. He surely would not cry if he was otherwise. Yoochun knew he wasn’t supposed to get involved. He didn’t even know this guy. And besides he was just a passenger. His lips curled upwards, the man was an uninvited passenger actually. But his conscience said that he had to be there for the guy. And so he was. He found himself patting the back of the man as his sobs lessened. Yoochun waited until the man lifted his head.

The man looked as if he just noticed that he just broke down in front a man he didn’t know. Yoochun saw the awareness return to the man’s face before he pulled away from the enticing warmth of Yoochun’s embrace. The guy shifted in his seat and struggled to compose himself.

“I-I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to…I was just so…I’m sorry.” The man brokenly apologized, his voice was hoarse. He was frantically searching for something in his pockets. Yoochun had thought of it and willingly gave his handkerchief to the man. He gratefully took it and wiped away his tears with it. Yoochun noticed his eyes were puffier and still glazed with tears.

“Don’t worry about it. It happens.” Yoochun offered a small smile which the man wobbly returned. He sniffed and controlled his feelings. A semblance of balance was put on his face and Yoochun had to admire the man’s courage. He was clearly hurting earlier but now he was behaving as if he just didn’t pour his eyes out in front of him.

“I guess it does. Well, thanks mister…” the man said sheepishly. He was clearly embarrassed, a tinge of pink bloomed on his cheeks. Yoochun found it adorable.

“Park Yoochun.” Yoochun said softly.

“Ah, Mr. Park, yes. Thanks for your help. I truly appreciate it. But I’d like to leave now. Please?”

Yoochun inclined his head at the man curiously. “Are you sure? I mean, I think you’re upset so you should just go home and rest.”

“No! I can’t go home now! I have to go to Rose Hall. If you can’t take me there, I’ll just get out of here to look for someone who will.”

The man had one of his hands on the door of the car and was poised to open it when Yoochun’s voice cut his action. “Running away will not help. You have to face whatever it is that’s bothering you. Don’t run away.”

The man whipped around to face him as he said this. “How dare you! You don’t have any idea what I’m going through so don’t lecture me about it. I’m leaving.”

Before the man could twist the door handle Yoochun had already shot his hand out to grasp the man’s arm. He gripped the man’s arm tight.

“Don’t leave. I’ll drive you.” he said and the man looked at him quizzically. He smiled slightly and he could see that the guy was thinking if he would stay or not. A backward movement proved that he wouldn’t be and Yoochun felt satisfied and relieved. He let go of the man’s arm.

“I won’t have a conversation with you mister. I just want to go to Rose Hall.” The guy said softly now, he must have remembered that he helped him earlier and was a bit regretful that he got angry at Yoochun.

“Hmm…I’m wondering about that. Why do you badly need to go there? I think you’re the groom, am I correct? Why? You don’t want to tie the knot yet? Are you being forced to do it?”

The man stared at him hard as if drilling a hole through his head. It should have given Yoochun pause but he was a very amiable guy. The man sighed in exasperation. “You really won’t stop right?”

Yoochun shook his head. “I don’t think so. Not after you just used my shoulders as your pillow.”

That got a small awkward pause from the man. “Thanks for that again. I don’t know what I was doing. I was just so—“

“Lonely?” Yoochun helped.

“Yes, if you must know. I am very…torn. I don’t know what to do.”

Yoochun didn’t speak. He was waiting for the guy to say his piece. He knew that the man was really having a hard time with whatever it was that was his problem. He let his gaze roam the guy’s form, he certainly looked well off. From what Yoochun could see outwardly, the man was dressed very formally. His suit was of high quality and he didn’t really look like someone who work outside the office. This man was obviously with money. People like him had the world at their feet. Unlike him who had to work his bones out to get money. So, what could be wrong? Yoochun thought it has something to do with his family or love. He would choose the latter one.

Yoochun felt the minute the man decided to talk about himself. He kept quiet and waited.

“I am not getting married today. My friend is.” The man started, his voice was low as if remembering. Yoochun had to really tune his attention to the man as he spoke. “I know I didn’t have to go there but my friend will be hurt if I don’t.” Yoochun watched as the man made a small grimace, “But if I go I know I’ll be hurt. So I don’t know anymore.” He sighed and continued, “I’ve always loved my friend, I don’t know how it started but it was there. I can’t really tell this because I’m afraid I’ll ruin our friendship. So I kept it to myself. I was content with that. Then all of a sudden this person came and changed everything. I didn’t know how it happened but they fell in love. Now, they’re getting married and I want to stop them.” The man shifted and turned at him, Yoochun saw a man in love but so hurt from his feelings. He immediately felt a wave of sympathy for the guy. He saw that the man was struggling to keep his tears in check again. “I want to ruin their wedding Park-sshi. I want to go in there and drag my friend out and we’ll leave. I want the wedding to stop,” he bowed his head and said in a hoarse voice, “I will go there to do it. Will you stop me? Am I bad?”

Yoochun found himself leaning forward over the man and putting his hand on his shoulder as if to soothe his worries. “You know, they all say that loving someone should be a happy thing. They said that people in love should make each other happy. You deserve to have that too. But if you feel miserable like this because you think that your friend is happy then I think you’re wrong. Loving someone is opening yourself to two things. Happiness and misery, you should remember that. Sometimes love is ours. Sometimes it’s not. When it’s not, we have to learn to let go. Love is not selfish.”

“Yes…I know. I just—I mean…I know.” The guy said dejectedly.  Then he laughed a little. “I—thanks for the talk. But I would really like to go now.”

Yoochun relented and climbed back to the driver’s seat. He started the engine and spared a glance at the man behind him. He was looking outside the window of the car. He was silently watching the trickle of rain streaks that hit the car’s windows. Yoochun just turned his attention back to the task at hand and revved up the engine.

~~~~~~~

They arrived at Rose Hall after twelve minutes. It was not raining anymore, just a drizzle was felt. Yoochun watched as the man, Junsu, (he introduced himself at last), went his way in the wedding hall. He thought of how the guy was calmed after their talk in the taxi. At least now he was assured that the man wouldn’t do anything rash in the wedding of his friend. He was turning the car’s alarm system when his phone rang.

“Yes? Ah, I’m already here. I’ll be there in a moment.” He said to the other person on the other end. Yoochun straightened and adjusted the black jacket of his ensemble. He looked down carefully at his clothes and checked if everything was in order. His suit was still looking crisp as ever. He gave the white sprig of flower in his jacket a small pat before he sighed and went in the wedding hall.

Yoochun was getting married today. And he felt so happy. He was finally getting married to a wonderful person whom he loved and he couldn’t ask for anything else. He went in the assigned room for his wedding and was rewarded with people’s warm wishes and congratulations. He laughed at some jokes given him and he knew that this was the most memorable day of his life.

The host of the ceremony, his best friend, gave the signal that the wedding would be starting. Yoochun took his place at the other end of the altar and waited for his beloved to arrive. The moment the music started, Yoochun felt his stomach tighten in excitement. The people were hushed as the wedding marched started. From the other end of the room, Yoochun saw Jaejoong, his partner came up. He was breathtaking as always and Yoochun found his heart swell with pride.

Jaejoong was smiling at him as he passed the aisles to get to where Yoochun was. He didn’t let his eyes waver for a second.

Yoochun patiently waited for Jaejoong to step to the altar. He saw Jaejoong smile at him and he smiled back in return. But as he was passing the last rows of guests, Yoochun saw that Jaejoong sharply turned his head and his gaze landed on a man standing there among a line of people. Yoochun’s eyes followed Jaejoong’s gaze and was shocked. It was Junsu. He was looking at Jaejoong as if he wanted to speak. Confusion lined Jaejoong’s face as he looked at Junsu. The people started whispering to each other, the two were obviously acquainted. Yoochun saw that the two men’s eyes were seeing each other like there was no one else in the room. It was then that he understood.

As silently as he could, Yoochun walked to the edge of the altar until he had slipped away from the prying eyes of the people. He walked calmly away from the room until he got outside the wedding hall. He stood at the entrance and looked up at the sky. He smiled with tears in his eyes. He remembered what he said to Junsu, love is not selfish. It certainly wasn’t.

Yoochun thought, it was a great day indeed. No more rain. The sun was now shining brightly.