It would be nice if you feel the same as me when I first talked to you. The memory is still there, afterall, you’re the only one who has ever strummed my heartstrings…

 

 

November 30th, 2012

121-886 서울시 마포구 합정동 397-5 5층

Seoul, Mapo-gu, Hapjeong-dong, 397-5, YG Entertainment

Underground Trainee Practice Room

08.15 PM

 

 

HanBin’s PoV:

*Click* *Click* *Click*

Typing on the recording room’s computer keyboard, making mixtapes, pressing keynotes on keyboard, scrolling through the playlist, watching dance videos, practicing dancing and rapping, writing countless words on countless scrap of papers and recording countless song. Those are what I’ve been doing for three years. Why do I do those thing for three years? Well.. It’s because that..

 

I am a trainee in one of the Entertainment Industry Company.

 

I’m Kim HanBin, also known as B.I. My status currently is a trainee from YGEntertainment ever since I joined YG in 2009, and like any other trainee, standing on a stage performing has always been a stupid dream of mine.

 

A stupid dream of mine that I could never let go.

 

This dream started from my children days although that I’m not that particularly a kid myself. Starting from a very young age, I have been awed by rappers performing on the stage. Eminem was my idol, and from watching his performances, I found myself having an interest on raps. I practiced rap day by day by covering his and many Eminem songs also, other rappers songs, firstly it was only for my own entertainment, but suddenly, I got myself my own recording studio, and it was no time that my mother started uploading my covers on the internet.

 

From slight interest into passion, I was eventually casted to an agency and became a trainee in the end of 2008. In no matter of time, I was featured in one of the senior artist newest song. I managed to perform in some music shows, and somehow, one of the top 3 big agency CEO put an interest on me. Somehow, I was recruited into another agency and I changed my agency. Now, here I am, still sitting in front of the computer, scrolling through iTunes for three years.

 

Yep. I’ve been a trainee in YG Entertainment for now three years and few months. And here I am still not knowing when I’ll exactly debut.

 

To be honest, I’m starting to get tired, but part of my heart is saying, ‘Don’t give up. It will be no time until you stand on the stage with your member. Keep trying, you can do it.’ But our debut isn’t even scheduled yet. Facing off monthly evaluation, endless dance practice, recording covers for mid-month evaluation, and things like that, I’m starting to get tired of it. But.. My mind, my heart doesn’t allow me to give up. Especially not when there’s her, who’s waiting for me.

 

“Hanbin-ah!” shouted someone.

 

Talk of the devil.

 

 

3rd Person’s PoV

 

Kim Hanbin was in a daze as he scrolled through iTunes until suddenly a girl with long hair walked into Team B’s practice room.

 

Her hair was long ivory black hair, with some pastel colored strikes was messy, but not messy enough to be tangled. Her cheek was red, not from blushing, since her entire face was red as she was furious. She stomped all the way inside the practice room, and her action emphasize just how much frustrated she is.

 

She then slumped on the black couch inside of the practice room and sighed really hard. Hanbin eyed her, as he noticed how she’s wearing only wearing a black shorts, white t-shirt and red bomber jacket inside the building despite the cold weather that gets inside of the building.

 

“You know, it’s cold out there and how do you survive only wearing that outfit during this kind of season?” asked Hanbin as he threw a small blanket to her.

 

“Well.. We were just practicing here a few hours ago. Don’t worry I brought a change of clothes anyway. And here! I’m also wearing your jacket that you left behind before.” The girl said.

 

“So you’re only wearing a t-shirt and shorts inside the building?! Even though the building has bunch of heaters, but still, the cold weather still get inside and you have a comeback in a few week, what if you get sick?”

 

“Hehe.. Don’t worry, I’ll change into a warmer clothes later.”

 

“No! Change it right now!”

 

“Geez… You’re so lousy Hanbin-ah”

 

“Well… We can’t have Natasha, the nation’s little sister[1] sick, right?” teased Hanbin.

 

“Geez.. Stop with that title, it’s not like I’m the one who wants to get that title”

 

“De[2], de. Now go change your clothes”

 

“De~, ‘Oppa[3]’!” she teased as she walked towards the exit.

 

Before she could fully exited the room, she turned her back and peeked through the door,

“By the way, I still have something that I want to tell you, soo~”

 

“Arasso[4], arasso.. I’m not going anywhere. As if I could leave this place anyway”

 

“Then.. Wait for me, okay?” she said as smiled brightly before leaving the room.

 

Hanbin’s PoV:

 

“Arasso, now you go change your clothes, you’ll get sick if you don’t go now” I said to the long haired girl named Natasha.

 

The girl with ivory black long hair with some pastel colored strikes on her hair, that girl is my childhood friend. Well, not exactly a childhood friend since we met on 2009 when I was 13 years old. But she is a friend that I’ve known for a quiet long time already, even though I’m still kinda not a match compared to her bandmates.

 

I was dozing off in the recording room as I went back to my laptop, scrolling through my playlist in iTunes again until I heard someone knocked the glass door again.

 

“Hanbin-ah, you’re still there?” SooAh said as she peeked through the door.

 

“Yeah, I’ve promised you, right?” I said as I spun around my chair and faced towards the door where I could see SooAh’s head peeking into the recording room.

 

She then smiled brightly and went inside of the recording room, having herself changed her clothes already and brought a red bomber jacket which is very familiar to me. She then flopped herself on the couch in the recording room as she put the red bomber jacket on her lap as a substitute of a blanket. She sighed loudly, frowning and she was pouting in annoyance. People who see her being annoyed like this would think that she looks cute, and I do too think she looks cute even though she’s not in the best mood right now. If people who doesn’t know her so well, they might think that she’s just showing aegyo[5], but actually she is truly annoyed over something.

 

“What’s wrong (Waegeure[6]), SooAh? I thought you have something to tell me?” I asked her as I stopped scrolling over the iTunes and faced her as I kept on sitting on my chair.

 

She then sighed loudly once again and frowned again as she was about to say something. But then she sighed loudly once again and slumped back to the couch.

“Actually.. This isn’t something important at all..”

“Why are you hesitating right now? You were really really annoyed when you came here. You should tell me why. It’s better to let it out rather than bottling it up”

 

“Eyy this kid, telling me to let out all of my complains, says the kid who always bottling up his worries”

“Yah, I’ve lending you my ear ever since you came here earlier. Now say it now or I’ll ignore you”

 

“Eyy, this kid’s getting impatient over unimportant things. Arasso, arasso. Besides.. As if you could ignore hot stuff like me…” She mumbled the last part.

 

“Yah. I can hear it. You tell yourself and the others you’re hot stuff? You’re joking, right?” I chuckled over her last comment about herself.

 

“If I’m not a hot stuff, why am I titled as the HipHop goddess #2!” She said as she makes a V sign.

 

“Aigoo.. This girl’s overconfidence.. Arasso, arasso. You’re the #2 HipHop goddess, and you’ll surpass Yoon MiRae[7] soon too” I .

 

“Yah. Kim HanBin. I was only joking! How could you say it! I’ll be dead if you said that in front of Yoon MiRae sunbaenim[8]’s friend!” she pouted.

 

“And I was, also only joking about ignoring you. You think I was serious about it? How could I ignore you when you barged inside my group’s practice room every single day,” I said.

 

“ Yah! For your information. I have never barged inside your group’s practice room. I’ve always knocked before going inside, you know. I never want to get inside an awkward situation where I would have to see six skinny bodies with no clothes at all to cover. And of course you can’t ignore me! How could you ignore your best friend for three years who’ve been helping you with your training anyway!” She said as she pouted.

I put up a smile, and said, “Arasso, now tell me what’s bothering you.”

 

“And here, when I was going to tell you all about the things that bothered me today, I’ve lost all of those hate I’m feeling today because of you,” she said as she sighed.

 

“At least I’m doing the right job for being your listener”

 

“And I have no disappointment over it. Good job, dear friend!” she smiled as she moved to the chair next to mine.

 

It was no time until she started to blabber all the things that she has been wanting to tell me ever since this morning.

 

People who don’t know us; I mean, SooAh and I, well enough, or those who doesn’t know FOODWAR well enough may have a lot of question. And those questions might be “Why is she there,” “Isn’t she is a busy person for being an idol,” “Don’t she has any other schedule,” aaand things like that. True enough. Sometimes I do too wonder why she is even here when she’s an idol, not to mention, a member of one of the hottest idol group. Her popularity is a no joke either since her group’s fame has risen up really high ever since their debut, even to the point that her brother and she both got the title of ‘The Nation’s Little Brother’ and ‘The Nation’s Little Sister’. I do wonder about those things too. But well, as long as I can still see her and it doesn’t bother her schedule, why not?

 

It wasn’t long until she finished venting out her anger on me about everything, mostly, about Yang sajangnim for being not too cooperative with her (and her bandmates, she said.)’s schedule.

 

“Was it all?” I asked her, who was now resting her head on the computer table.

 

“Yep. Thaat is all that I want to say,” she said as she tilted her face, still resting on the table, but now facing towards me; who’s sitting next to her.

“Anyway, there’s nothing that we can particularly do about it. It’s sajangnim we’re talking about. He always does what he wants,” I advised her.

 

“But still, he knew that I’ve always been against most of his decision over FOODWAR schedule. He should cooperate with us!”

 

“There there. What can I do exactly for you anyway? I’m just a trainee here”

 

“Yes, but the most beloved one to him anyway. Not to mention, you’re my friend. Can’t I visit my friend down here in the dungeon that evil Yang-goon made for trainees?”

 

“Heol. What a clever saying you said.”

 

“Anyway, I was just venting out my anger towards him anyway. Glad that I have you as my friend!” she smiled

 

I could only give her a bitter smile, not really fond of the word “friend.”

 

“Anyway, what were you doing right before I came here?” she asked as she then scooted closer to my seat and looked into the computer on the table.

 

“You know that YG have just recruited a new trainee, right?”

 

“Yea. I heard he was a trainee in JYP before? What was his name again? Kim DongHyuk?”

 

“Yea. That’s him. Well, about that.. A few days ago, Yang sajangnim told us that Kim DongHyuk will join us.”

“Us? You mean you, JinHwan oppa, Jiwon oppa, June and YunHyeong oppa?”

 

“Yea. We kinda have met him a few days ago too, and well we saw his talent, from singing, dancing, just everything and you could say that now we gotta make some new adjustment to the vocal lines again,” I said to her as I go back scrolling through my playlist.

 

“So.. You’re saying that you’re searching for the perfect song, again?” she asked as she scooted closer to me.

 

I feel my heart thumping really hard now since she’s sitting way too closer to me. I could even smell the faint fruity scent coming from her. My heart thumped really hard that my hand subconsciously comes to my chest, which is a habit of mine when I feel nervous. Thank god SooAh never realize that habit of mine, or I wouldn’t have any chance to be next to her anymore.

 

“Yeah.. I’m sorting out the songs that can be used for next month’s monthly evaluation”

 

“Oh! Then, let me help you!” she said as she took the mouse from my hand and scrolled my playlist.

 

I looked at her from the sides, watching her excitedly scrolling through my playlist while displaying variation of expression, from, sad and annoyed for not finding the matching song, confused for not exactly finding the right song, and happy and content for finding the perfect song.

 

“Anyway, while I help you find the right song, do you have his audition video with you?” she asked as she open up my videos folder to search his audition video. Usually, the audition video contains every talent that an applier has. Some are only confident in their singing skill, or dancing, or rap, or they may have shown everything.

 

I said to SooAh that I have Kim DongHyuk’s audition video in my video folder, so I grabbed the mouse back and scrolled through my folder and eventually found Kim DongHyuk’s audition video. I clicked on the video and the two of us watched his audition video to check his talent.

 

After a few minutes of watching Kim DongHyuk’s video, SooAh slumped on her chair and said,

 

“Well.. It seems that he has a quiet high pitched voice.”

 

“Yeah, it’s kinda hard to divide the vocal part now since there are now four vocals in our group,” I said as I scrolled through the songs that SooAh have picked.

 

“Then, let’s see if there are any matching songs for your group. Hope that there are some from the songs that I’ve picked,” she said.

 

I nodded and listened to the playlist that she made after the songs she picked. She looked very serious from picking the right song for our group. I watch her from the sidelines, and somehow, I was also dozing off thinking about a lot of things.

 

A lot of things that concerning her.

About how she kept on visiting me despite all of her group’s crazy schedule.

About how she managed to help me through my group’s undecided time for debut.

About how she managed to help my group’s practice session behind Yang sajangnim’s supervising.

About how this amazing beautiful girl; who is known as the nation’s little sister, is sitting next to me is a friend of mine.

 

Not to mention, my unrequited love for three years already.

 

 

July 11th, 2009

 

“Yes! Humanimal Collaboration! With your boy B.I! Whatever they say, or if people pay no attention to me, Don’t stop it make some noise! We get it poppin’ like an indian boy!”

 

I rapped on the stage, enjoying all of the chances that I have to stand on the stage, even if I was only a trainee of some small agency. I feel like I have to treasure all of these moment, standing on the stage, showing all of the passion that I have for raps. Because, who knows when will I debut, because I am merely just a trainee from a small company without any clear dream whether I want to be a rapper like Mong hyung[9] or a part of an idol group, for example BIG BANG.

 

It was only for a few seconds or a minute with a little more second that I managed to stand on stage as a featuring artist today. I was featured on MC Mong hyung’s new song, “Indian Boy” as a young rapper. In these few weeks, I was able to get closer to my dream; which is to stand in a stage, hearing the audience cheering for me, and watching them smile as they watched me performing on the stage. A few minutes after the performance ended, I found myself taking chances that I have for taking photos with the idols that I might not be able to see regularly, such as the new debuted girl group, 2NE1, and the current hottest girl group of South Korea, SNSD. There are also some artists hanging around the backstage too, such as the current trend of flower boys[10]; SHINee, and their rival group of the year, beast idol, 2PM, and many other idols. It took some time to take those photos with them, and fortunately, they’re willing to get their photos taken with me. Not long after taking photos with idols, I went back to the green room where I’m placed with Mong hyung. I opened the door, and I was quiet shocked to see that a familiar, not to mention; might be the most popular idol right now; sitting right in front of Mong Hyung.

 

That person was…

 

G-Dragon, the leader of one of the hottest boy group right now, BIG BANG.

 

“B.I, come here for a second!” shouted Mong hyung suddenly.

 

“Ah.. de, hyung”

 

 “Ah.. B.I, you know him, right? He is G-Dragon, go greet him,” said Mong hyung.

 

“Annyeonghaseyo[11].. I’m rapper B.I. It’s nice to meet you Jiyong sunbaenim.” I said as I bowed to him.

 

“Annyeong[12],” he said as he smiled and waved to me.

 

Then he went back to face Mong hyung and said, “Ah, hyung, can I talk to B.I alone?”

 

Mong hyung then nodded and Jiyong sunbaenim asked me to follow him. I walked outside of the green room with Jiyong sunbaenim and followed him to the direction of the emergency exit.

 

“Ah, B.I-yah, do you know me?” he said as he stood as he bend his body a little to stand on my level.

 

“De.. Jiyong sunbaenim.”