No, no, NO. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Jessica hadn’t spoken to me for five months. And I don’t know why.

  We were in our third year in Seoul University; all of us SNSD – except for the two Shikshins who were sophomores and Seororo who was in freshman year.

  I cried bitterly at the corner of my room. Jessica was supposed to be my roommate. But she exchanged with Yoona to be with Tiffany. Why Tiffany? It should be me. And I’m alone in this room because Yoona chose to be with Seohyun over me. What kind of kid does that? Yes, I said kid.

~Flashback~

  ‘Yah, I just realized Yoona looks a lot like you two,’ Sooyoung said one evening, while we were all eating dinner. ‘She’s got Jessica’s lips and somehow resembles Yuri a lot.’

  Everyone else around the table agreed with her with a few yeses and nods. Aish, these guys… I thought. ‘She could be like your lovechild.’

  Sooyoung’s comment made me and Jessica choke on our sodas. ‘WTF Sooyoung?!’ We both screamed on top of our lungs.

  And since then Yoona would call the both of us by “Umma” and “Appa”. It was still pretty awkward with Jessica and me though, considering we were just best friends.

~End of Flashback~

  I miss Jessica’s voice. I miss her laugh. I miss her smile. I miss her. Jessica… why are you doing this to me? I continued crying, sobbing, sniffling my off at the corner of my room.

  I heard a knock on my door and saw a short-haired brunette sticking her head into my room. It was Taeyeon. I wiped away my tears so she wouldn’t notice.

  ‘You okay?’ she asked, sitting down on my bed.

  ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ I tried to smile. But I knew my eyes were red and puffy, enough for Taeyeon to not buy it. Enough for Taeyeon to realize I’m not at all fine.

  ‘Kwon Yuri, I know you’re not fine,’ she said critically. That was what charmed me about Taeyeon – she understands the emotional Yuri behind the oh-so-famous KkabYul.

  I scoffed. ‘Then why bother asking if you already know I’m not okay?’ She fell into a deep silence.

  Taeyeon sighed and stood up, her small, soft hands holding onto mine. ‘Come on, dinner is ready.’ And with that she dragged me outside to our dining room.

  We all sat down at our usual seats. My nose was filled with a sweet scent of cologne I was really familiar with – Jessica’s Chanel cologne that she likes to wear. I had bought her that particular cologne on her birthday last year. Ah… I miss those days so damn much.

  My heart shattered to tiny pieces seeing Tiffany sitting beside Jessica. Sunny should sit beside her. Her reason being ‘So I can see Sooyoung better’.

  Curse our sitting arrangements – Jessica sat right in front of me. Aish… I thought. What a drag… Now I have to watch them laugh with each other.

  That should be me, Jessica… That should be me.

  My thoughts were interrupted by Taeyeon’s fake cough. I looked down on my plate and realized that she had scooped some spaghetti for me. Usually my best friend Jessica does that for me. I just sighed, took my fork but I didn’t eat. I just played with my food.

  ‘This kid…’ I heard Taeyeon mumble. Great. Just great. An angry Taeyeon is coming.

  I looked around the table and saw Jessica and Tiffany. I smiled to myself seeing Jessica’s grin. But my heart broke into tiny little pieces. She didn’t smile for me. It was for Tiffany. Aish…

  ‘Taeyeon-ah, I don’t feel like eating…’ I said to Taeyeon.

  She just sighed and nodded. I stood up and went outside to get some fresh air. Honestly I was confused about my feelings. Jessica was my best friend. But why would I be jealous over her and Tiffany? Aish…

  What was that feeling, lingering on each and every corner of my heart? Everything was a big, messy blur. Aigoo… What can’t I think straight?

  I was walking down the streets of Seoul when my cell phone vibrated. I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my phone.

  “Taengoo”

  It was Taeyeon. I pressed the ignore button and put it back into my pocket. I’m sure Taeyeon would understand. Just like she always does.

  My phone vibrated again. I took it out – expecting for Taeyeon’s name to appear but something else did. But no, it wasn’t Jessica.

  “Appa’s Daughter”

  Ah, it was Yoona. I walked towards a rubbish bin and dumped my cell phone. A kid saw me with widened eyes, evidently he was surprised. ‘OMG YOU’RE KWON YURI!!!’ he screamed out.

  I was in a bad mood. I didn’t care about my image anymore. ‘Shut up kid I don’t feel like putting up to you right now.’

  The kid rolled his eyes and walked away. Now that my cell phone is gone, time to buy a new one! I walked to an IT store and bought myself an iPhone 4. But that particular store had its own memories of Jessica and me; memories that I missed dreadfully.

~Flashback~

  ‘YAH! KWON YURI!’ I heard Jessica’s adorable voice from behind me. Before I could turn around she back hugged me. So warm her embrace was. ‘It’s my birthday… aren’t you going to give me anything?’ she said after I turned around.

  She was trying to use her aegyo. But at that she failed quite miserably. I just chuckled. ‘Yah!’ she shouted.

 I grinned in a slightly dorky way. ‘I was going to buy a watch for you, but I guess now that you’re here you can choose anything you want.’

  ‘Really?’ she became slightly hyper. I nodded my head. ‘Thanks Yuri, I love you~’

  My grin got wider. I knew she was just joking, but hearing those words from her… made me feel so secure and loved. I just loved that feeling.

  We spent the whole day together hanging out trying to pick out a present for her but we ended up back at the IT store where we first started, buying Jessica a new digital photo frame and a watch.

~End of Flashback~

  I looked at the sky and sighed. That was two years ago. Jessica… that name rolled up in my mind yet again.  It was getting darker but I didn’t want to go back to our dorm just to get my heart smashed badly.

  I went to the park and sat on a swing. I took out my new phone and dialed Jessica’s number. I didn’t know why, I just wanted to hear her angelic voice again.

  ‘Hello?’ I heard Jessica’s voice. ‘Who is this?’

  I just stayed silent. Tears started to roll down my cheeks. It’s been five months, Jessica…

  ‘Hello?’ She asked again. But I dared not to say one single word. I don’t want to ruin the moment. I couldn’t bear to ruin it. I don’t want her to hang up just because of hearing my dry voice. Tears streamed more and more heavily down my cheeks, and I sniffled.

  ‘Excuse me, are you crying?’

  I couldn’t speak. But me, being the stupid Kwon Yuri I was, I nodded my head. I knew she wouldn’t know that. Aish…

  ‘Jess? Who’s that?’ I heard Tiffany’s loud voice in the background. My heart… I’m not sure if it’s beating right now.

  ‘Oh, it’s no one.’ And with that she hung up on me for the first time. I was still holding my phone to my ear, my eyes drenched because of what just happened; more in sorrow than in anger. I finally got to hear Jessica’s voice and Tiffany ruined the moment.

  ‘Noona~’ a kid said to me, interrupting my thoughts. He looked so charming.

  ‘Hey kid.’ I smiled. At this point I figured maybe kids could cure my unbearable sorrow.

  ‘That noona said you shouldn’t cry…’ he said, pointing to a distant figure in hiding behind the shadows of the slide. From the looks of it, the figure looks like a girl, but too tall to be Taeyeon and too short to be Yoona.

  ‘What’s your name, kid?’ I asked and got an adorable eye-smile from him.

  ‘Kyungsan. Choi Kyungsan.’

  ‘Do you know who that noona is?’ I asked again. I wanted to make sure who that dusky figure was.

  Kyungsan grinned. ‘Yeah, that noona is my mother’s friend.’

  I tilted my head a bit. ‘What…?’ I was somewhat confused. His mother’s best friend…?

  I opened my mouth to ask him another question but I heard a guy calling Kyungsan. He appeared out of nowhere. ‘Kyungsannie, it’s already late let’s go home…’

  A man approached us with an apologetic smile on his face. Wait… Siwon oppa?! He’s a father already?!

  He looked at me and smiled. ‘I’m sorry if Kyungsan burdened you, Yuri-ah.’

  I paused for a while, still registering everything in my mind. ‘It’s… okay.’

  He lifted Kyungsan up and looked one last time to me. ‘See you next time.’

  I looked at his son and smiled to him. ‘I look forward to see you again, Kyungsan-ah.’

  I turned to look at the shadowy figure again, but it was gone. I looked at my watch. It was already 9 in the evening. Wow, who knew spending time with a kid would take so long.

  I let out a huge sigh reminiscing everything that happened today. Who was that woman hiding in the shadows? And who was Kyungsan’s mother? I need to satisfy my curiosity about everything. Especially about my feelings towards Jessica.

  I walked back to our dorm to find Jessica watching TV, but her hair was ruffled and her breath was heavy, just like someone who just ran from the park home.

  She glanced at me for a bit and continued to watch TV. I looked away when our eyes met for a split second. I went to Taeyeon’s room and found her lying down on her bed, still not sleeping; probably thinking about her love life.

  ‘Taeyeon-ah~’ I said, sitting down next to her.

  ‘It’s about time you came back.’ She said. ‘Sica just went back from- ’ She stopped and covered . I looked at her seriously. Evidently something was up.

  But I knew Taeyeon wouldn’t give any juicy details out. So I just gave up and rolled my eyes. This kid…

  ‘Do you know who Choi Kyungsan is…?’ I asked, really hoping for answers from Taeyeon. But I really didn’t expect her to know anything.

  To my surprise, she just nodded as a response. ‘He is Siwon oppa’s son.’

  ‘Who is he married to…?’ I asked silently, but loud enough for Taeyeon to hear it.

  ‘Heismarriedtomushroomhwang’ she blurted out quickly. Surely it was fast enough for me to not understand it.

  ‘I’m sorry, what? What did you say?’ I said with a dorky expression. All I could understand was something that sounded like ‘-shroom’. Could it be mushroom? Aish…

  ‘He’s married to… our mushroom Hwang…’ she said at a much slower pace. Thankfully I could understand each and every word of it.

  ‘WHAT?!’ I yelled out loud, almost waking up the people who were sleeping. I peeked outside and saw Jessica still engrossed in watching TV. I sighed in relief.

  ‘Why didn’t I know about this until now?!’ I shouted again but this time slightly quieter so no one would notice.

  ‘The both of them kept it a secret to take care of our image… and remember a few years ago Tiffany went missing for a few months? And mysteriously Siwon oppa was too?’ she asked.

  ‘Uh uh…’ I nodded my head a little hesitantly.

  ‘Tiffany was pregnant.’

  My eyes widened in shock. Tiffany is married. She’s… married. Then I realized something. Taeyeon was about to say something about Jessica.

  ‘Taengoo-yah, did Sica and Fany go out around 9?’ I asked. I knew she wasn’t giving anything away, but meh, it’s worth a try.

  She sighed. ‘You deserve to know the truth…’ she swallowed her saliva, ‘if you must know, they did go out. But only Jessica arrived. Fany is spending some time with her husband right now.’

  ‘Thanks Taengoo~’ I said, beaming a bright smile. At least I know some truth.

  I went outside. Jessica was asleep. I wanted to wake her up and/or carry her to her bed but I was afraid she would snap at me. So I just stood there like a statue staring at her flawless Barbie-like face. Then a pang of confusion hit me. What was I doing, staring at my best friend. Aish…

  ‘Maybe it’s love…’ I heard a voice and I looked beside me. Taeyeon was standing next to me, looking at Jessica as well. ‘I know you’re confused right now, just think about it and figure it out and take actions before it’s too late.’ Wise Taeyeon is wise. I knew I would listen to Wise Taeyeon.

  That moment Jessica woke up and I rushed towards my room, locking my door and lying down on my mattress. I sighed heavily.

  ‘Maybe it’s love…’ Taeyeon’s words echoed in my mind.

  ‘Maybe it is…’ I mumbled to myself and checked my cell phone. No calls or messages. Well duh. It’s still new.

  I spoke too soon. Somebody had texted me that very moment. I saw Jessica’s name appear on the screen. There it was again. That feeling where my heart would flutter and my stomach would melt just by seeing her name.

  “May I know who you are? :p”

  I smiled to myself. Jessica you flirt. Or maybe you already know who I am?

  I took a peek outside to see Jessica. She was smiling as she looked at her cell phone. I think I could her mutter ‘you pabo…’

  I went back inside my bedroom and replied to her text message. “I think you know who I am. ;)”

  Minutes went by without any replies from her. I went outside to find her sleeping on the couch so I carried her bridal style to her and Tiffany’s room. When I put her on her bed I could see a small angelic smile forming on her lips.

  I couldn’t help but smile to myself. ‘Cute.’ I mumbled.

  I rushed to Taeyeon’s room to ask her a question that just popped into my head all of a sudden. Considering she’s the third closest to Sica after me and Tiffany, maybe she had some answers.

  ‘You remember five months ago when Donghae oppa said you two should date?’ she asked. I took the hint and reminisced what had happened five months ago.

~Flashback~

  All of us SNSD were hanging out at the mall when we bumped into Eunhyuk, Siwon and Donghae oppa and they treated us to lunch.

  I sat next to Jessica (duh) and we were like a “couple”, laughing and whispering to each other constantly; looking like not having any care in the world.

  ‘You two should totally date!’ Donghae oppa said.

  Both of us looked at him with slightly widened eyes. I paused for a few seconds before responding to his statement.

  ‘We’re just friends…’ I muttered but it was probably loud enough for Jessica to hear since her face expression became a little shady.

  My heart shattered to thousands of tiny little pieces. I just broke my best friend’s heart.

~End of Flashback~

  I sighed. ‘Thanks Taengoo.’ And with that I went to my room lying down on my bed trying to sleep but I couldn’t. My thoughts were all on Jessica. Her heart was probably so badly hurt she could never accept me.

  Drowned in my thoughts I finally fell asleep after texting her.

“Everything was a lie. I’m sorry.

-          KY”

  I woke up the next morning to find my cell phone ringing. Jessica had texted back.

  “KY?”

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I rushed to her room and dragged her to our balcony and hugged her. Tightly. I never want to let her go.

  I cried on her shoulders. And I heard her sobbing.

  ‘Jessica… I’m sorry. That time when I said we were just friends… Do you know how much my heart shattered?’

  Then it hit me. It was love after all.

  Jessica stayed silent.

  I let her go and crashed my lips onto hers. ‘I love you, Jessica Jung Sooyeon.’

  She looked at me in the eye.

  ‘I don’t ever want to let you go.’ I said again, this time with more emotion.

  She buried her face on my chest and cried a little more. ‘I love you too, Kwon Yuri.’

  I smiled. ‘So does this mean you’re going to move into my room?’ I asked.

  She looked up at me and smiled. ‘Sure, Kwon Seobang.’

  I kissed her passionately. Suddenly someone barged into the room, walking in on us. ‘YAH!’ It was Kim Taeyeon.

  She put on a dorky smile on her face. ‘Breakfast is ready…’

 -----

A/N: Sorry for the late update : \ Jeongmal mianhae... >.<

Our internet connection is sulking rn.

Word Count: 2,830 words (excluding Author's Notes) ... my longest story so far <3