It has been a year since I found him cheating on me on Valentine's Day, yet, here I am still wallowing in self-pity. I broke up with him as soon as I stumbled across the scene, he knew that I am against cheating and no cheater deserved an explanation or another chance. He didn't even deny that he wasn't being loyal. He didn't feel any remorse when I confronted him.

So now, it's Valentine's Day again, and I'm all alone. Bom offered to hang out with me, but Top and I planned a romantic day for her and him so I could not take up her offer. Which leads me to where I am now, sitting on a park bench in the middle of a park.

I watched as the little kids played happily with each other. At one point in time, that was the four of us, Top, Bom, me, and him. I wish that we could turn back time and be in that position again, where romantic relationships don't exist and our friendship is so innocent. I barely speak to him now, and it hurts, because he was my best friend before we even started dating.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt my tears fall down my face, leaving a trail mark on my cheeks.

It still hurts, even after a year.

I couldn't help but think of all our memories together, and why he would cheat.

He relayed a message to me via Top once explaining the situation to me, how he was stressed out about a lot of stuff, and I just wasn't there for him. That I couldn't provide him the comfort that he needed. That's when he knew Kiko, who just happened to be there at the right place at the right time. I would've been better if he broke up with me for that reason instead catching him being disloyal to me and costing our friendship in the process.

I still can't help but remember all those times he was so sweet and caring, even when he was dating Kiko behind my back,that time when my self-confidence is on rocks because of the hates I'm getting. It was at least six months before I caught him. Some time when their popularity as Bigbang is beginning in Japan.

We were strolling around our company's grounds on a nice autumn day. I was still clearly upset about the hates and comments of the people around me. Jiyong was right next to me holding me close whispering comforting words to me like; "Everything will be alright" and "I won't leave you ever, don't forget that I got your back."

I smiled a little, thinking I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. Everything about us fits perfectly like a puzzle. He balanced me as I do to him. Yes we fought a lot back then but we never slept without reconciling. Jiyong was my world. He's my ideal man. I can never imagine myself with another man, I just can't. Many people said that he'll change in the future but I never cared because I love him- yes, I love him even now. He may not be perfect but he knew me, and how to cheer me up, how to make me feel like I have everything that I needed.

I opened my eyes, and reminded myself that we're not together anymore. That all of those things I thought I knew is not true. He wasn't great at all. He played with my feelings and pretended to be devoted to me when he wasn't. He is a scumbag to me now. I looked at the ground and wiped my face, I can't afford someone seeing the cheerful Dara Park crying on the Valentines Day.

I looked up across the park, to the swings, and was reminded of him again. It was the spot where he comforted me when Donghae rationalized my confession, and told me he didn't love me. Everything reminded me of him and it infuriated me. It's been a year, I should be over it by now! I shook my head, got up and dec