Kris walked out of his shower with Tao and into the Exo communal living area. Sehun and Kai were feeding each other maltesers with their feet while Xiumin was teaching Luhan how to create coffee from teabags. It was a normal day in the exo dorm, until Kris slumped to the floor and said. 

'I need a girl.' 

Desperate to avoid a potential Taeyang identity crisis (or Krisus) the Exo members swooped into action, sedating the manager oppa with rufies Suho paid for with his hourly allowance and grabbing the overnight hospital bag Chen had prepared when he found out that Luhan was preggers with Sehun's baybay, It all happened so fast, that they rushed the door and didn't even bring Kris with them. 

Left to his own devices, Kris thought about what sort of girl he really wanted. 

'I want a girl that looks better in jeans than a skirt' he thought, 'but not as good as me, Kris always has to be the best looking in the room. Swag.'

Then he thought. 

'I want a girl that will eat the Kimchi Fried Rice that I make, but not all of it, because Kris's girl needs to have that body. Swag.'

Having crafted his intricate and extensive litmus test Kris set out into the streets of Seoul, thirsty to get some water and find a girl with a nice plastic nose. Like him.