I sat on the bench looking far away but empty. I am sighing on my loneliness. I thought that I will be like this forever. I do have friends. I mean closest friends but I still need someone to share this strong affections. While busy murmuring on my own-empty life…

Excuse me. Do u mind? There’s a ball behind your leg.

I don’t answer. Still in a delusional mode.

Helloooooo. Anybody’s there?

I feel someone is waving their hand in front of me. And it's disturbing my train of thoughts and somehow is snapping me back into half-reality.

Yeahh?

I speak lazily.

There’s a ball behind your leg. Could you pass it to me?

Still didn’t get the clear picture of that person who waved his/her hand to me.

Lazily pick up a thing and passed it to him/her.

I heard someone’s giggling.

Haha. That’s not the ball. That’s a rock.

Okay that was super lame. And I fully get back to reality.

Searching for the ball, got it, look up and passed the ball to theeeeee…

AM I IN HEAVEN?! I mean I saw a gorgeous man (half- oh yeah) wearing short beach-flowery pants with wet hair stands in front of me SMILING?! (and he got dimples yeahhh!)

And the ball falls from my hand by itself because my hand suddenly shivers.

And that gorgeous man picks up the ball, smile to me and say thanks. Oh and he has an angelic voice too.

I’m stunned. And keep looking at that guy who is running back to his bunch of friends.  Suddenly,

Duhhhh. Watchu doin here alone?! Come and join us. We’re playing sandcastle competition.

My friend, Key interrupt me, I mean in the wrong time. Ugh.

I was like in dilemma either want to or not joining my friends since I think I should sit here and enjoy these beautiful moments given by God during my emo time like this. But Key on the other hand doing that ugly face like if I don’t want to join them I will be forever alone and no one will befriending with me so yeahhh, I surrender. Key pulls my hand while I keep looking at that guy who now playing beach volleyball with his friends. He indeed a gorgeous man.  While I busy checkin’ on him suddenly he winked at me. And okay that’s can kill me seriously I don’t feel my heart beats anymore. Oh myy. Or did he winked at Key? Ugh I dunno.

 

---

 

That night,me and my friends are having some dinner at the restaurant which serves foods a la buffet. So Key eats like there is no tomorrow. We went to the beach because we want to release our tension before finals which is coming soon. At first I insist that I don’t want to go but Key manipulated me by saying that if I don’t, I will always be forever alone and some other negative statements so that I go.

Rey, could you pretty please go and take some chicken wings?  For meeee? 

Ugh. Didn’t I just take that thing like 4minutes ago? Key, seriously, u better stop eating too much fat-containing food. Or u will be blowing up one day?!

Egh. Just take it. Some more, u've only took those wings in a small amount. So it’s ur fault. Not me. Please. Pleaseeee.

Why not you just ask Nick to take it for you? Why should be me?

Nope I can’t. I am busy ‘fighting’ with this crab! ,my finger. Ouch.

Ugh. Fineeee.

And lazily, I'm walking to the buffet foods corner.

While I'm busy taking the chicken wings in a very large amount like there is no tomorrow, suddenly, I heard someone is commenting me sarcastically.

Ermmm, I never thought that a petite guy like you would have a big appetite huh?

I'm about to get angry on that statement when suddenly I turn, OMG it’s him! The guy. The ball guy. And eventually the plate on my hand start to shaking.

I just smile. Wide smileeee.

I am Yoseob and u are?

I continued to smile. And almost mishandle the plate.

Looking at his gorgeous face. Blinking multiple times.

RRR..eee…yyy 

Replied in a startled voice.

Huh? What?

He's asking again as he didn't really caught my name in the first time.

Closed my eyes and tries calming down myself. Breathe in, breathe out.

I am Rey. Hi Yoseob nice to meet you.

Replied with a single breathe. And still put that wide smile on my face.

He giggles. Maybe he feels funny watching at my behavior.

U’re cute.

And he smile and look at me with that affectionate eyes.

What theeeeeee? Did he just say I’m cute. Really? I’m not dreaming right. Pinching my arms. Ouch it hurts. Omo it’s real.

Oh thank you and u’re handsome too!

That H word coming out from my mouth just like that, in a speeds of light.

He’s laughing.

Oh thank you.

And suddenly,

Rey, do u want me to die because of hungriness or what?

Key comes and interrupt us. WRONG TIME AGAIN! Ugh 

Im signaling Key for not talking and try to shush him away. But he managed to find out that im busy talking to yoseob.

Key is signaling me back to ask who is he? I turn to yoseob and give a wide smile like before and pulls Key away. Key just oooo-ing to me and turn back to check on yoseob and still oooo-ing.

As soon as we arrive at the table, Key started to spread rumors.

Nick, looks like our friend here will be having a very great time during this vacay.

What? What what?

Shushhh Key! I dunno him and I just start talking to him like only 3 minutes and there’s a good friend of mine came and blow everything away.

Thank god I dragged you along with us if not u will never met a gorgeous man like him okay.

Okay u two stopped talking. I didn’t get any infos here. Anyone please spare some will ya?

U were too busy eating that ‘crap’ that’s why. Count on me, lemme tell you. Rey just talked to a gorgeous man at the buffet food corner. And he indeed a young, handsome man.

Omo what? Seriously rey? Where is he? Should I go to look his face? You know sharing is caring right. Haha.

Shusshhh u two. I already told you that I didn’t know him well. We’re just start talking and Key came and disturbed us.

And giving a ‘thank-god-NOT’ face to Key!

Ohhh my bad. Next time I would never disturb u guys anymore okay. I am happy if my friend here very happy too. Right Nick?

Nyumm nyumm. Umm what?

Ohhh nevermind, continue eat that ‘crap’! Ugh.

---

 

I sat on the beach alone. Crafting something on the sand. And looking far at the sea. Closing my eyes, enjoying the sound of the waves. Key and Nick were already sleeping. They’re too tired because of the non-stop eating and playing that evening. I don’t feel sleepy yet so I go out to get some fresh air. Maybe to continue mumbling on my empty life. I lie down on the sand. Looking at the stars. Beautiful stars. And start pointing my finger to connect all the stars.

While busy in my own world, I heard someone’s voice.

Do u mind if I join you?

I slightly turn my head towards the voice. And quickly gets up. Stunned. It’s him. Yoseob.

And my voices start to become shaky again.

Yyyy…ee…sss you mayyy.

And he sits right beside me. And turn his head at me and smile. Showing his dimples.

All I can do is smiling back and don’t say anything.

U love being at the beach?

I guess that’s the hint for me to reply and start the conversation.

Without looking at him, I answered,

Yeahh, I love beach.

Oh me too. But before this, I didn’t go to the beach often.

Why?

I’m asking, a bit relax now.

Because I used to drowned during my childhood. And every time I go to beach, I feel scared.

Ohhhh 

My short feedback and continue

U didn’t know how to swim?

During my childhood? Naahhh, I start learn to swim when I’m 11.

Ohhhh

Still dunno what to say. I'm not very good at continuing conversation, ya'know.

U know how to swim Rey?

Me?? Nope. No I don’t.

He giggles. And continue asking,

Why? 

Ummm because no one ever teaches me.

Ohhh poor you. U want me to teach you now?

Okay, shock at that question.

Now?! In the middle of the dark? Seriously?

Yeah why not? I just teach you how to balance yourself in the water. Just that.

His voice suddenly fills with encouragement and excitement!

Ummmmm. Really?

I stucked in a dilemma mode again.

Yeahhh. Come!

He gets up and starts pulling my hand. Okay that is our first skinship! Omo.

Don’t you think this is crazy? Some more, how should I believe in you. I just met you!

I resist and not following him, just standing still on my place.

He giggles. And move closer to me. I can feel his breath! Omo!

Look at me.

He said.

Am I look like an untrustworthy person? Come on. Some more I love playing water at night.

He pulls my hand AGAIN! Okay second skinship!

^{*this man seriously super crazy! Who wants to play water at night in the dark pfffft. But then,he’s too tempting to resist, kyaaaaa reyyy,what should I do now?*  /monologue}

Wait!

I stopped him from pulling me. He stops and turns to me. I continue to speak,

but you have to promise me that u didn’t do this just to trick me. Because, if you are, I will punch you at the face!

While showing my cute little fist.

He laughed. And pulling me again. When we reach near the sea, he suddenly pushes me in the water. Okay that is really a non-human action. I almost get drowned!

Yaaaaaaaa! Why did u push me just likeeeeeee…

And when I tried to clear away some sands on my face, I see Yoseob pulling out his shirt. Okayyyy that is soooo HOT. OMG I just can die. And I turn myself back facing the wide sea. Couldn’t resist the temptiness. Have to control myself.

Im sorry, I didn’t mean to push you. I just want to play around with you.

I don’t turn to him but replied,

never ever do that again to me okay! And now what should I do? I feel cold and WET!

And my voices start to startle because the sea water is super cold.

Suddenly, I feel bit warmth. When I turned, I almost jumped because Yoseob stands really close to me. I mean like 10cm away from me. And I could see his figure. White toned biceps with a nice tummy. His body not to muscle-y but more to slender-y-ish. Quickly I move a bit far from him before I collapse.

He started to give some directions on how to balance our body in the water and I just bluntly following him. Oh and yesss! Many skinships happen during that learning time. 

After 15minutes of trying, I succeeded to float myself in the water. And I feel happy. But, because it’s too cold, I am freezing and shivering. I quickly get out from the water and sit, to warming up my body. Yoseob still swimming and that guy really is crazy!

15minutes passed and I still tried to warming up myself. Yoseob get out from the water and sits beside me.

U want me to hug you?

WHAT?!! Eventhough I feel so so cold and my condition right now isn’t very good but I still can understand that question! Omo. Is this real? Pinching myself again. And ouch!!

Nope. U don’t have to do that.

Thank god I keep my head down so yoseob can’t see my red-turning cheeks.

But I saw u’re having a hard time warming up yourself.

Nope. It’s okay. I’m fine now.

Okay. Or why don’t u change ur shirts to mine. My shirt didn’t get wet.

And he passes his shirt to me.

I just look at the shirt and turn to him.

Oh nooo. U should wear it. Don’t you feel cold?

Nope, I’m used to it. I always swim at night. Here, take this.

He still insisted giving his shirt to me.

No its oooo…aaaaachummmmmmmmm.

Oh no. .

Are you okay?

Yoseob checkin out on me. And suddenly he moves nearer to me and put his left arm on my body, rubbing it slowly and try to transfer his warmness. I got stunned! My body feels like it have been injected so I can’t move at all. But I have to. But I can’t. Ugh.

Are you okay Rey?

He repeats the question. I just keep my head down.

 

 

SILENCEEEEEEEEE…(cricket's sounds)

 

 

Yoseob-ah.

Suddenly my voice breaks the silence

Yes?

He replied.

I look up at him and continued,

do you like boys?

His facial expression suddenly changes and he's taking back his hand from my body. And looking at the other side.

Oh it’s okay. Im so so sorry because I ask such question so sudden. I didn’t mean to…... 

*I dunno from where or how fast he did this but the next thing I know that his lips on my lips and we’re kissing, I mean he kissed me first! And I dunno how should I react to that since he tried to my mouth with his tongue and biting my lips!*

And after 2minutes of sweet-frenchy-kissing, he stopped doing that and giggles. Okay that was so scary (because he giggles duhhh?) but romantic, though. And I just sit there like a statue and blinking my eyes, waiting for some explanations. I mean a very good reason for why he just did THAT to me.

You know what Rey, yep I do like boys. And I like cute boys like you. And im so sorry for suddenly kissing you because you talk too much *chuckles* When I saw you were sitting alone at the beach bench that evening, I purposedly throw the ball towards your place because I want to get to know you. And the meeting at the buffet was just a coincidence which I’m happy it happened. I dunno why but for the first time I saw you, you caught my eyes. And I’m afraid if I don’t approach you tonight and you’re going back home tomorrow, I will never get to know you and tell that I like you. So I’m sorry Rey. For that hasty incident just now. Hope u don’t get angry or panicked. And it’s okay if u are straight. I just want to know that I’m willingly to know you and maybe, become your partner.

Yoseob suddenly explain everything, I mean EVERYTHING!

 

*BUT HOLD ON FOR A SEC, IS IT POSSIBLE THAT FOR ALL THIS TIME BEFORE I NEVER BE IN A MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP WHERE I LIKE THE BOY AND THE BOY MIRACLY LIKE ME TOO! I MEAN, IS THIS TRUE, ONLY FOR ONE DAY AT THE BEACH, ONE GORGEOUS MAN SUDDENLY CONFESSING THAT HE LIKES ME AND WANT ME TO BE HIS LIFE PARTNER, SERIOUSLY! THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE OKAY. BEFORE THIS, I ALMOST GIVE UP THAT I WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE A MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP, SOME MORE, IN THIS BOY-TO-BOY RELATIONSHIP. AND LOOK AT THAT GUY, HE’S VERY PERFECT IN MY EYES AND EVERY CHARACTERS THAT I WANT FROM A BOY IN A LONG TIME AGO SUDDENLY APPEARS JUST LIKE THAT ON ONE NIGHT. IS HE AN ANGEL SENT FROM ABOVE FOR ME? AM I THIS SUPER LUCKY? AM I?*

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Rey!!!!

Reyyyyy!!!!

Rey!

Hey bij, what are you lookin’ at?

Key suddenly appears in front of me.

Rey!

And he slapped my shoulder. Ouchhhhh! And I get back to reality. I mean this is the TRUE reality!

Eh, why are you here? Why is it a day? Where’s yoseob?

Key is literally LOL-ing at my sudden questions.

Rey,are you daydreaming again? C’mon wake up! Hahahaha.

Whatttt? Who’s daydreaming? I know that guy. His name is yoseob!

While pointing at one of the guys who playing volleyball.

Key continues to laugh.

Rey, u r really delusional! That boy never approached you. I saw him playing volleyball and never come to you okay.

But that ball, that swimming lesson, that confession, that KISS!

And touching my lips.

Kiss? Rey! Don’t bluff. You will never get a hot man like him. Just forget it.

Looking blankly at Key.

But?

No buts! Come, we have to go back now. I've already packed my stuff. You're the only one who didn’t so you better come quick since Nick already started the car engine and you know right, he don't like to wait. Come! Now!

But?

I'm insisted.

Duhhh. I say no buts! Come!

Key is pulling my hand. As we walk towards our chalet, I am looking at yoseob (or whoever his name) and sighing. What Key said was true; he’s only being in my wish list that never comes true. I turn my head back to Key and walk forward with him.

(What Rey didn’t know is)

The ball is rolling slowly towards the place where he sit. That boy comes to take it back.

(If only Rey can stay just a bit longer)