Luhan woke up to an alarming sensation choking his whole body. His fever happens to take on its peak and everything buzzed around him. His sight, which was far from regaining its focus, was now thrown in a swirl of a makeshift tornado. His head barely helped his situation, being rendered weak under the waves of pain. Luhan started to regret having taken that cold shower early this morning despite the warning signals his body gave away, which he thought might probably be the culprit of all of this. Trying to huddle his body in order to stand up, his trembling fingers noticed the empty space beside it.

Sehun was gone.

“I knew it was just a short-lived dream…” Luhan muttered to himself, each word full of unspoken uncertainty. Turning his head a bit and wincing from the discomfort, Luhan saw his alarm clock beep red angry lines saying 4:20 pm.

“Damn. I missed all my classes.” Frustrated, Luhan pressed his face through his curled up palms. Too lost in his thoughts, he failed to notice the sounds of footsteps that tampered the silent agony of his bedroom.

“Stop doing that. You might tear off the pad I fixed on your forehead.” Slim fingers pressed upon his burning temple, flattening the fever pad that the older failed to notice. Luhan need not sneak a peak from his still curled fingers to see who was the owner of that voice. He had two whole years to memorize every single pitch that left those lips.

“I hate you…”

“What? I ditched my classes for the whole day just to stay with you, and all I hear is I hate you? Are you sure that wasn’t supposed to be a Thank You instead?” the younger mocked.

“Of course not.” Luhan giggled a bit, flinching slightly when the new wave of headache washed over. “You made me miss my sunrise, miss all my classes, and made me feel worse because you’re too damn heavy!” Luhan fought back, trying to suppress the fresh batch of sniggers tempting to board off his pale lips.

“It’s not my fault if you resemble a fluffy pillow so much!” Sehun immediately blushed after realizing what he had just said. Eyes widened and a bit under the spell of confusion, he tried to swing their conversation to another path. A not-so embarrassing one.

“You should eat. I cooked some food a while ago.” The younger stepped out of the bedroom premises leaving a bewildered Luhan.

“Idiot! We don’t have any kitchen here! How were you able to cook?!”

Sehun came back with a breakfast tray containing a plate of white creamy sauce drizzled on top of perfectly twisted strands of linguine pasta and topped by a few bits of grated cheese, along with a clear glass filled with iced tea and a shiny red apple.

“I pulled some strings at the cafeteria. The old lady was generous enough to let me use the small kitchen to make this.” Luhan’s tired eyes widened as he saw his favourite dish, but an undoubtedly fake frown graced his features when he looked back at the holder of the delightful tray of mouthwatering foods.

“Weren’t you supposed to serve porridge to the sick?” Luhan asked questionably.

“I wouldn’t feed that icky stuff to myself even if I’m sick as hell. I doubt you’d be able to push away a special, home cook plate of this.” Sehun looked back at the dish, then placed the tray above the empty study table beside the bed and turned towards Luhan.

“What?”

“Uhh..” Sehun shook his head, knowing it’s useless to explain, and instead let his arms hook on Luhan’s, surprising the elder. “Y-yah! Oh Sehun what the hell are you doing?!”

“I don’t think you could eat while lying down right? I’m helping you sit up.” Sehun explained as he pulled the other carefully, slowly letting his back settle on the firm wooden headboard. Luhan felt like he was a toddler being carried by Sehun, and despite the very embarrassing situation the younger has placed him in, his body was far dosed in a bad condition to even fight back.

“I’m not sure if it’ll suit your taste though. I just used whatever extra they had on the fridge. But I swear the apple is fresh.” Sehun made an attempt to smile as he shyly scratched the expanse of his nape. After being hauled up in a dormitory, he barely had time to cook on his own, leaving his cooking skills idle, not much to his liking. This may have been the first time he cooked for someone but he was deeply glad he knew how to cook his best friend’s favourite dish.

“I would handle you every bill I have in my wallet just to get a taste of this every day.” Luhan smiled warmly. “Too bad there isn’t any single amount in there.” Luhan chuckled as Sehun carefully placed the tray above his sick friend’s lap. Luhan weakly lifted the fork and started twisting it along the smooth creamed strands of pasta, gathering a genuine amount. His lips slowly parted to allow its entrance, only to subtly close along the neck of the silver fork. Pulling the fork out with a soft pop, Luhan basked under the lingering flavour of the food that dwelled his bitter tasting tongue. Sehun watched silently as Luhan made more attempts to finish the rest of the dish he made, and was caught up and mesmerized as the other feebly consumed each single piece of the still warm carbonara. At some point, fringes of Luhan’s delicate blond hair fell gracefully down, hiding his hazelnut eyes from Sehun’s view, and much to his surprise, Sehun wasted no time as his lean fingers moved just above the other’s and made a leisurely gesture as he scoop off those silky strands that dared block off such scene.

Luhan was drowning from the fast rate his heartbeat has escalated since he woke up. Now he didn’t know whether it was merely his fever’s fault for having difficult time breathing, or because of this idiot in front of him that has forgotten the decency to give him some breathing space; not that he hated it of course. Sehun acted more sweetly than ever, and the feelings Luhan tried to suppress are pushed to the brink of spilling out of his tightly sealed lips. Despite the unending quarrel his heart and his brain had made up themselves the moment Luhan fell for the boy, he was more than desperate to assure himself that these, everything Sehun was doing, were all real, and not just a beautiful dream he’d sooner or later wake up from.

But he knew deep inside that it’s far too early to believe that his dream has already come true.

Happy endings are only for fairytales. 

Luhan could still recall the way Sehun eluded his presence every time there were a lot of people around them. The way Sehun would prefer to stay away from public’s eyes whenever they’re out and together. He never found out what makes the younger do such things that kept nudging a deep hole inside the poor boy’s heart. And truth to be told, he never tried to ask; he was too scared to hear the reason behind all of his heartbreaks.

Sometimes his heart would leave that thought to the darkest corner of his mind, shutting out each single piece of negative thought that tried to intrude his undisturbed mind. He would get lost under the attention Sehun would give him each time they had their own quality time, washing away every single scar the same boy carved within his heart. And the process will happen again and again, and Luhan wonders how long he could keep up with it.

I wish my heart was strong enough to understand... so that it won't break down... so that it won't shatter at all...every time you do things that'll hurt me...

Luhan was too buried in his reverie that he failed to notice the slight movements Sehun made. His consciousness was brought back to reality as the other pushed what seemed like a small tablet in front of lips, fingers slightly touching his sealed ones, making his heart skip a beat once more.

Sehun smiled as he mouthed the words “medicine”, which made the elder part his mouth, allowing entrance for the foreign entity. Luhan blushed unmistakably the moment his soft tongue made contact with Sehun’s delicate finger, despite tasting the bitterness the medicine lashed out. The latter brushed it off, saying it was nothing, and ushered him back under the protective comfort of his sheets. Avoiding any more embarrassing moments he would very much appreciate not being part of, Luhan al