Without You

Daehyun sat silently on the bench at the park. He smiled happily while wrapping his arms around the other guy waist securely. He looked into the younger eyes – loving how beautiful his brown eyes and also at his cute smile. The younger smiled at him as he hugged the older tightly.

“Jae..” –called him while caressing the boy’s cheeks lovingly. The boy giggled softly at the touch.

“Are you happy now?..” –he said again while leaning closer to the younger – kissing his forehead.

“I love you, Jae.” Daehyun kept hugging the cute boy around his arms – inhaled the boy's scent that he loved the most. He's too dazed into the boy until he doesn’t notice the presence of his friends next to him.

“Dae..” –called a husky voice behind him. His voice is full of concerned tone.

“Yongguk hyung.” He turned toward the voice – smile plastered on his handsome face as he looked at the older boy and the guy next to him. “Himchan hyung.”

“What are you two doing here?..” –asked him to the two guy.

“We’re walking around the park and we saw you here..” He looked at the youngest boy before continue. “..and what are you doing here?..” He smiled to him.

“Jae and I were sitting here since two hour ago. He said he loved being here so I brought him here..” The expression of the two older guy immediately changed after listening for his explanation. “Right, Jae?..” Daehyun smiled toward the empty seat next to him.

“Jae?..” He frowned at the empty spot. “Where is he going right now?..” He looked around before looking back at his two hyung. “Did you know where is he going just now?..” –asked him to the two guy sadly – still searching for his lover nowhere.

“Dae..” Himchan tapped the youngest shoulder slightly to get his attention back to him. The younger still wasn’t looking at him as he busy searching for the cute guy.

“Dae!..” He shook his shoulder lightly and the boy looked at him with questioned look. “Yes hyung?..”

“He is not here..” The younger boy pouted at him. “You knew that he is not here. He is not here and you gonna accept the fact that he is gone..” Daehyun looked down with teary eyes.

No..

“He is here with me just now before both of you come..” –said him while looking around – wanting the boy to come out. “He must be shy and ran to the bathroom. I need to find him.” –he said while running to the said bathroom.

Seeing the youngest in that condition broke Himchan’s heart into pieces. He didn’t know what else he can do to make the younger understood about the real fact. The fact that his lover already dead two month ago. He really didn’t want the boy turned into lifeless soul after his lover death.

Youngjae’s death was two month ago because of the last stage of cancer. Daehyun loved his lover, Youngjae so much – more than his own life.

The young boy was his life light after his mother’s death three years ago. Youngjae always stay by his side every time he needed someone to talk with. The youngest was everything for him but now after Youngjae died, Daehyun became different. He loved to talk by himself like there’s Youngjae who talked with him.

“Gukkie..” Himchan hugged his lover tightly while crying slowly. “I can’t take this anymore. Please help me.” He looked at his lover eyes pleadingly. “We need to help him..”

“We will help him, I promise. Don’t cry please.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Jae..” There’s no words came out from any of the bathroom booth. He checked each of the booth carefully – scared that he might be missed Youngjae in any of that booth.

“Jae, don’t play hide and seek anymore. I’m tired already.” Daehyun frowned at the lack of response. “Jae..”

“He is not here..” Himchan’s voice suddenly came out from nowhere. He looked around the bathroom again before sighing.

Where is he?

“He is gone, Dae.” Daehyun felt warm water runs down to his cheeks. He knew everything about that but he didn’t want to accept the truth. The truth that his lover, Yoo Youngjae died two month ago – leaving him alone in this dark world.

“Why did you leave me?..” He hugged his knee tightly while sobbing quietly. “You said you love me and you would never leave me alone like what my mother did to me.” His quiet sobbed turned to loud cries.

“You lied!..” He yelled.

“Dae..” He looked toward the voice. He knew the voice so well – the one he missed so much.

[Flashback...]

“Dae, wait for me.” –whined the younger boy to his boyfriend who’s leaving him behind. He looked at his boyfriend – running toward him in fast speed. “Why are you so slow today, cutie?..” –his boyfriend said teasingly – earning a weak punch on his shoulder.

“Why so angry baby?..” –Daehyun chuckled softly – loving how cute his boyfriend when he was mad.

“I’m not cutie..” He pouted cutely. Daehyun’s heart pumped in abnormal speed at his boyfriend’s cuteness. “..and I’m tired.” The younger whined tiredly. He looked tired and his face was so pale like dead. Daehyun noticed it.

“Are you okay, baby?..” –he asked the younger with concerned. Daehyun loved his boyfriend so much – he will do everything to make the cute boy happy. “I’m okay.” Youngjae smiled at his boyfriend – showing him the cutest smile ever. “Don’t worry, Dae.” With that he immediately jumped on the older boy’s back.

“Carry me..” –the younger of the two said in cute tone of voice – attempted to make his boyfriend agree. “..please..” Daehyun grins widely.

“Anything for you, baby.” Daehyun started to walk while holding his boyfriend on his back securely.

“I love you, Dae.” Without Daehyun knew, Youngjae expression changed into a sad expression. There’s something that he kept secret from Daehyun knowing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Youngjae sat alone in his room – thinking about something that he kept secret from his close friend including his own boyfriend. He looked at the letter in his hand for the –nth time already for today. He can’t believe what was written on the letter – his medical report.

He gulped his saliva painfully while looking at his medical report.

He wasn’t prepared for telling this to Daehyun. He felt so scared for what will happen if he told truth that his life is getting short. He loved Daehyun and didn’t want to lose him either hurting him. He sighed softly. This is his fate and he accepted it with open heart.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Oh Dae. You’re here..” Daehyun came inside his lover’s house – hugging his cute boyfriend lovingly while planting a soft kiss on his forehead. “I heard about your medical report..” He looked at his boyfriend’s pale face.

“What’s wrong?..” Youngjae gulped his saliva nervously – thinking an answer for the older boy’s question. “It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with me.” The younger smiled at his boyfriend. Daehyun seem not satisfied with the younger answer but he talked to himself for not to say it.

“That’s good to hear.” He is a bit worried about the younger’s health because he looked not good and the younger’s pale face make his worries grew bigger. “Do you want to have some drink?..” –offered the younger to his boyfriend as the older nodded slowly.