From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyung r u awake?????????

Minseok glanced down at his phone, saw who it was that was texting him, and promptly sat it back down on his bed.

He was, in fact, awake, thanks to the coffee shop owner that had called fifteen minutes earlier to ask when he’d be replacing that bathroom mirror, and kindly reminding him that if he didn’t come up with the money within a week his sorry would be going to court.

“‘Cause this is thriller! Thriller night!”

ing Luhan.

“And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike - Minseokkie!” Luhan shouted from the bathroom, sounding much too chipper for Minseok’s taste. “Sing with me!” Minseok would do no such thing. “You know it’s thriller...”

The cell phone began vibrating with a new text, and with a sigh Minseok grabbed it once again.

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyuuuuuuuung


“You hear the doooooor SLAM and realize that there’s no where left to run!”

Minseok let out a low, defeated groan as his head fell back onto the pillow. His phone vibrated again. Minseok sighed. Why?

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung

Minseok had only just opened it before he was getting a new one.

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyung wake up & answer me!!!!!!!!!

“But all the while you hear a creature creepin’ up behind - you’re out of time - Minseok we’re back to the chorus - CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER -”

What did he do to deserve this?

His phone vibrated.

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
lazy hyung!!!! lazy lazy hyung!!!!! good morning starshine the earth says hello!!!!!”

Minseok sighed, flung his phone back on his bed and got to his feet because he was in some serious need of advice. He left the dorm room still in his pajamas, with only Luhan’s muffled failure at being Michael Jackson to see him off.

The first thing he noticed when he crossed the hall into Minho and Jongdae’s room was that Jongdae wasn’t in it. The second thing he noticed was that Yixing was. There was a moment in which Minseok wondered if maybe he’d somehow managed to walk into the wrong room - why else would Yixing be passed out in Jongdae’s bed? - but the bathroom door was wide open and Minseok could see Minho fixing his hair at the sink, so the theory was disproved fairly quickly.

“What is Yixing?” Minseok asked as Yixing spouted a litany of mumbled words and began kicking off Jongdae’s blanket with gusto.

Minho glanced over at Minseok, then at Yixing, and shrugged. “Most people seem to think he’s a human being, he says he’s a healing unicorn, but personally,” Minho shot Minseok a serious look, “I believe he might be a Martian.”

“I’m not from Mars!” Yixing whined, turning on his side and letting out a loud snore.

“That’s exactly what a Martian would say,” Minho mumbled suspiciously under his breath.

Minseok shook his head in confusion and defeat and sat down on Minho’s bed. “Why is he sleeping in Jongdae’s bed, though? Where the hell did Jongdae go?”

“Still hiding from Luhan, I think,” Minho said, walking out of the bathroom and stopping in front of Minseok. He pointed to his hair questioningly, and Minseok gave him a thumbs up. “And he’s here because Kibum and I were walking back to the dorms and we found him trying to sleep on the sidewalk,” he continued, sprawling out beside Minseok on his bed and closing his eyes sleepily. “Apparently Kyungsoo and Baekhyun got him really drunk last night and then abandoned him - presumably to go , though they’ll probably deny it if you ask.”

Minseok stared at him, and after a minute Minho re-opened his eyes and sent him a bright smile. “So what’s up with you?”

Oh right. That.

“I have to get sixty-thousand Won in a week otherwise I’m getting sued,” Minseok mumbled, bowing his head sadly. What a horrible way to start a Monday. “Because Luhan broke a public mirror.”

Slowly, Minho sat up and gave Minseok a confused look. “Shouldn’t that be, I don’t know...Luhan’s responsibility, then?”
Minseok scoffed. “Dude, it’s Luhan,” he reminded Minho with a roll of his eyes. “Remember when he trashed that hotel room during our last away game?” They’d had to have a bake sale in order to raise money. It was horrible. Minho shuddered at the memory, and Minseok scoffed again. “Exactly. Where the am I gonna get sixty-thousand Won, Minho?”

Minho shrugged. “It’s not that much, really,” he pointed out reasonably, ignoring the glare at Minseok sent him. “Can’t you just ask your parents or something?”

Minseok could. But he wasn’t going to.

“Get it from the Knights,” Yixing mumbled, and the two looked over to see him staring back, eyes half open and skin unnaturally pale. “You’ve got, like, four left, right? Have ‘em pay you fifteen thousand Won to kiss you, and then you’ll be good.”

“That seems a little steep for a kiss,” Minho said, looking more amused by Yixing’s idea than Minseok thought he had a right to be. After all, Yixing’s idea was better than Minho’s, and he wasn’t even fully awake. Then again, Minseok was prone to missing things.

“You’re brilliant, Yixing,” Minseok exclaimed, ignoring Minho and grinning widely at the partially-coherent man on the bed across from him. “Thank you.”

“That’s great,” Minho muttered sarcastically, though he still looked like he wanted to laugh. “Now you’re one step closer to becoming a legitimate e.”

“Which is only one step away from my dream job of becoming a stripper,” Minseok replied, getting to his feet. He was feeling much better than he’d been when he walked in. “Thank you, Minho, for being a complete and utter waste of space,” he added, giving his sweetest smile.

Yixing snickered, but Minho looked unimpressed. “ should only speak when spoken to, Minseok. Keep it up and I’ll smack a ho.”

“No!” Yixing whined, attempting and failing to sit up. “You can’t be Minseok’s pimp, Minho! It was my idea, I get to be the pimp!”

“Yixing’s my pimp,” Minseok agreed seriously, only to find Jongdae’s pillow being thrown in his general direction. He ducked on instinct.

“Shut up !” Yixing snapped, “No one’s talking to you!”

----

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyung ur n class right????? ur awake right????

“If anyone gets to be your pimp,” Luhan hissed as their professor droned on in front of the whiteboard, “It should be me. I’ll be good to you.”

“Take it up with Yixing,” Minseok said, shrugging nonchalantly. He’d only just told Luhan about the conversation, and already he was starting to regret it.

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyung srsly txt me back!!!!!!!! i need u!!!!!

“No,” Yixing mumbled, pouting. “He can’t take you. I earned the right.”

Minseok raised his eyebrows skeptically, causing Yixing to glower at him.

“He was mine first!” Luhan whined, ignoring the looks that the professor was sending the three of them. “Why are you trying to steal my , Yixing?”

“Go to hell you soulless freak,” Yixing snapped at him, causing Luhan to let out an offended gasp. “No cookies for you!”


From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
srsly hyung this is important!!!! y r u ignoring me!??!!? wat did i do?!?!?!?!

“Okay,” Minseok began, holding out his arms to stop the two men on either side of them as they made their way to their next class. Luhan and Yixing cut off their quiet bickering to look curiously at him. “It was kind of fun to go along with at first, but seriously if one more person refers to me as a , , , or ho one more ing time they’re going to find themselves nursing a broken face.”

“Well if the shoe fits...” Luhan murmured, trailing off when Minseok shot him an unamused look.

“Hey es, what’s up?” Baekhyun greeted, coming from behind them and sliding his arms across Minseok and Yixing’s shoulders. Minseok’s hands clenched into fists as he mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do. “Glad to see you made it back to the school okay, Yixing, I wasn’t sure-”

Minseok lunged.

----

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyung did u srsly punch baekhyun-hyung???? did u get n trouble????? =’( r u getting expelled?!?!?!?!?!

“It was just a greeting,” Baekhyun mumbled for the fiftieth time as he held an ice pack gingerly against the right side of his face. He was sitting on the cot in the nurses office - the nurse having left a few minutes before - and Minseok genuinely wished that he could leave too. “You didn’t have to take it so personally.”

“It’s only a bruise,” Minseok shot back, motioning to Baekhyun’s face carelessly, “you shouldn’t take it so personally.”

Baekhyun scoffed, then winced, and finished with a self-pitying pout. “I could sue.”

“And I could hide your body in a place where the police would never find it,” Minseok replied with a serene smile.

Minseok caught Baekhyun’s expression turn blank as he slowly moved to face the wall instead. Success.

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
....y wont u answer me......

Minseok was barely given a chance to celebrate his victory (only in his head of course - he wouldn’t give Baekhyun the satisfaction of seeing him excited) when the door to the nurse’s office burst open. Considering how much force was used to open that door, Minseok fully expected the intruder to come crashing in (maybe he just spent too much time with obnoxiously loud people) but Kyungsoo was calm and collected as he entered the office, glancing at the room’s occupants coolly before allowing a small smile to grace his lips.

“So it’s true,” he stated, a vicious glint in his eyes that Minseok had only ever seen in movies. It made him slightly uncomfortable.

Baekhyun sent him a defeated look before slouching further on the bed and sneering darkly at the floor.

“You punched him?” Kyungsoo asked, turning to Minseok questioningly. Minseok nodded unsurely. He didn’t know where this was going, but he was getting the distinct impression that it wouldn’t end well.

“It was bad timing,” Minseok explained nervously. He didn’t know how much Kyungsoo liked Baekhyun after all - if he did at all - and according to Luhan he could get really scary when he was angry. “I’d just made a threat and it was imperative that I made good on it.”

Very suddenly, Minseok had an armful Kyungsoo, the man placing quite a few enthusiastic kisses on every inch of his face - from his forehead to his cheeks and nose to his chin, ending with an almost painful kiss on lips that sent Minseok reeling. “You are a beautiful human being, Kim Minseok,” Kyungsoo stated with manic glee, holding Minseok close and pressing their foreheads together. Minseok was quite confused. “That,” Kyungsoo continued, gesturing wildly at a gaping Baekhyun sitting on the cot, “that is beautiful. I’ve been waiting for someone to punch that bratty piece of for years-”

“Wow,” Baekhyun mumbled sarcastically, “thanks a lot, Kyungsoo.”

“-I mean I hit him all the time,” Kyungsoo continued, pulling away slightly so that Minseok could see his grin, “but it’s just not the same. Thank you so much for your service - your countrymen are proud.”

“Uh...” Minseok said intelligently, still quite confused. “You’re, uh, welcome?”

He just had time to catch the way Kyungsoo’s eyes flashed with unshed tears before he was being pulled into another bone-crushing hug.

This was definitely going on Minseok’s list of top ten strangest experiences. It was Kyungsoo’s third appearance on said list, which Minseok thought should probably tell him something.

“You guys are really kind of horrible,” Baekhyun told them, pouting unhappily. “Did you know?”

Kyungsoo pulled away again, pointing an accusing finger at Baekhyun and shouting “Karma, !” before letting out a gleeful cackle that made the hairs on the back of Minseok’s neck rise.

Yeah, it was time to go.

From: The Magical Elephant
To: Minseok
hyung i really need 2 talk 2 u so if u dont txt me back n 5 mins im calling u

“The weirdest ing thing just happened to me in the nurses office,” Minseok began, sitting down next to Luhan and opening up his backpack. He’d made it back halfway through second period with the dean threatening to convince Baekhyun to press charges for assault (despite the fact that Baekhyun had told them it was an accident, which was awfully nice all things considered) and more knowledge of Kyungsoo’s personality than Minseok was sure he could comfortably handle.

“Me too,” Luhan hissed, grabbing on to Minseok’s arm and sending him a panicked look.

Minseok’s eyebrows raised skeptically as he attempted to pry Luhan’s bitten nails out of his flesh. “Something weird happened to you in the nurse’s office too?” He asked before letting out a quiet, mocking gasp and resting his hand on Luhan’s. “Oh my god! Did she...did she-” Minseok lowered his voice dramatically, “did she touch you, Lulu?”

Luhan ripped his hand away and sent Minseok a look that said quite plainly that he was not amused. “ you, Minseok, I’m serious. But nevermind, I’m only currently dealing with potentially disastrous life choices right now, it’s no big deal!” Minseok opened his mouth to apologize - now that he thought about it, Luhan was looking a little feverish - but Luhan glared at him.

“No,” he hissed reproachfully, “don’t talk to me. I’m mad at you.”

“Luhan,” Minseok began, feeling kind of bad (even though he didn’t really understand what was going on), but was once again not given the chance to apologize.

“I said good day!” Luhan snapped before closing his eyes and falling face down on his desk, his forehead hitting the wood with a dull ‘thunk’.

Minseok reached over and poked Luhan curiously in the side. Luhan didn’t even twitch. “You didn’t actually say that at all, though,” he muttered dejectedly, pouting only a little bit. “I’m serious though, Lulu, I’m really so-” his phone began vibrating in his pocket, and he sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luhan glance at him before quickly pretending like he’d done no such thing. “Sorry,” Minseok finished as he ducked expertly beneath his desk and pressed the phone against his ear.

“Hyung!” Sehun exclaimed quietly before Minseok could even get out a greeting. “Did you get my texts?”

Minseok fought the urge to hang up and start actually paying attention to the lesson. He hadn’t done that yet, after all. “Yeah,” he said instead, leaning his head against the leg of his desk and hoping that the professor didn’t notice the suddenly empty seat. It wouldn’t be the first time, after all. “I got your texts. All eleven of them.”

Sehun scoffed, sounding annoyed. “Well you didn’t text me back.”

Minseok sighed. He could feel a headache coming on. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class, Sehun?”

Sehun scoffed again, and Minseok regretted his life choices. “I’m in class now, hyung. I told you I’d call you in five minutes.”

Minseok hadn’t thought he was serious. His mistake.

“What are your plans for lunch?” Sehun continued, apparently not seeing the problem. Luhan kicked him hard in a warning, causing Minseok to scoot as far away as the desk would allow him so that it couldn’t happen again.

“Eating, I guess,” Minseok admitted, sending Luhan a questioning look to confirm that they didn’t have plans he’d forgotten about. Luhan aimed a foot at his face and Minseok quickly ducked further away, taking the potentially violent response as a ‘no’. “Why?”

“You should meet me in the dance studio after class then,” Sehun said, sounding smug though Minseok was lost as to why.

“Why?” He repeated flatly. If Sehun needed help with his hip s again then Minseok was going to decline - not even the threat of pop-locking was enough to keep him from food. It had been a very difficult morning after all, and he needed his energy.

“I just need you, okay,” Sehun whined, and Minseok could practically hear him pouting. “Please, hyung!”

Dammit his aegyo even worked over the phone. “Fine,” he mumbled, causing Sehun to let out a series of quiet giggles. “Now hang up and start paying attention to class - I don’t want you getting in trouble, kid.”

“I’m not a k-” Minseok heard Sehun start to say before he hung up the phone with a snap.

He missed the weekend.


From: Wu Yifan
To: Minseok
Listening to Luhan this morning has made me realize that I kind of wish I was Michael Jackson reincarnated. Without the e part, obviously. I just really wish I could moonwa

From: Wu Yifan
To: Minseok
lk. Ive been thinking about it all morning. Its Yifan btw.

“I’ve got to head to the dance studio,” Minseok told Luhan as they made their way out of the classroom. Luhan gave a depressed hum of acknowledgment, staring dully at the ground. Having expected a question or sarcastic remark or possibly a pout, Minseok wasn’t really sure where to go from there. “I think Sehun needs some help hip ing,” he explained awkwardly. Quiet, withdrawn Luhan was a rarity in Minseok’s life, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

“Cool,” Luhan mumbled dejectedly, frowning down at his feet.

“Are you still mad at me?” Minseok ventured to ask, and Luhan shook his head.

“No.”

Loathe as he was to ask his next question, Minseok felt he had a responsibility as Luhan’s best friend to do it anyways. “Do you, um, wanna talk about it?”

Luhan’s head suddenly shot up and he stared at Minseok with wide eyes. Minseok stared back curiously, only a little creeped out. “No,” Luhan repeated, shaking his head quickly. “I’ve gotta go. Have fun with Sehun.” Before Minseok even had a chance to say goodbye, Luhan was hurrying away.

“Don’t forget we’ve got football practice after school!” Minseok called out half-heartedly, shaking his head in bewilderment as soon as Luhan turned the corner.

Well that was a little worrying.

Minseok sighed. Hesitated. Wondered if perhaps he should follow Luhan to make sure he didn’t do something potentially dangerous, and then shook his head again. If Luhan needed space, then Minseok would give him space. Even if he had no idea what Luhan needed space for in the first place.

With another sigh, Minseok grabbed his phone from his pocket and began heading towards the dance studio with his face buried in the screen.

From: Minseok
To: Wu Yifan
I know it’s you, you’ve had the same number for like 3 years. Moonwalking is easy are you really that uncoordinated? Sometimes I wish I was Elsa from Frozen. Without the , obviously. Mostly I just really want to live in an ice castle. Everyone has unattainable dreams, Yifan, don’t feel bad.

From: Wu Yifan
To: Minseok
This isn’t a competition jeez. And just because Im not some dance prodigy like you and yixing doesnt mean Im uncoordinated. But I kind of am, so yeah. If you ever get an ice castle

From: Wu Yifan
To: Minseok
Im moving in with you jsyk. I cant afford a new phone bc Im too busy paying for your kissing lessons so dont give me your tyvm. Oh and did you really put baekhyun in a coma? E

From: Wu Yifan
To: Minseok
veryones saying hes in the hospital bc you went ape and tried to scratch out his eyes.

From: Minseok
To: Wu Yifan
Baekhyun’s fine I didn’t even break skin. I punched him in the face for health reasons. I don’t scratch out people’s eyes that’s weird. Is everyone really saying that? WTF is wrong with this school? Also that was 3 separate ing texts you need a new phone like now. What is your SMS count?


To: Wu Yifan
From: Minseok
180 dont judge me. What the hell do you mean by ‘health reasons’?

Minseok blindly opened the door to the dance studio and scoffed as he read Yifan’s question. He didn’t need to explain himself to that dweeb. In fact, he didn’t need to explain himself to anyone. Minseok was sure that Baekhyun had done something to deserve it. In fact, knowing Baekhyun he probably deserved to get punched more often.

Maybe instead of himself out, Minseok could just tie Baekhyun to a chair in the main courtyard and have people pay to punch him in the face. It could be a great investment. He’d give Baekhyun sixty percent of the profits (since Baekhyun would be doing most of the legwork), and keep forty for himself. Teamwork.

“Hey, Sehun,” Minseok called out, pushing the door closed behind him with his foot and turning off his phone just in case Yifan decided to hound him with more text messages, “how much would you pay to-”

Minseok looked up and quickly realized that Sehun wasn’t in the room and cut himself off. He also realized that just because Sehun wasn’t there (which was bull since Sehun was the one who called him to meet up in the first place) didn’t mean he was alone.

There was a boy standing in front of the mirrored wall, staring at Minseok with wide eyes and a slacked jaw. Minseok’s first thought was that the sun-kissed skin and plump lips looked kind of familiar. His second thought was that the mirrors gave him a great view of the guy’s . None of that mattered though, because Minseok had a money venture to plan.

“How much would you pay to punch Byun Baekhyun in the face?” Minseok asked him seriously, watching with vague interest as the stranger quickly snapped his mouth shut and blinked multiple times. “Yes,” Minseok told him, “I’m talking to you.”

The boy nodded his head slowly, looking dazed as he mumbled a weary “um...hello.”

Oh, right. Greetings. Pfft. “Hi!” Minseok exclaimed, smiling brightly and waving his cutest wave. “I’m Kim Minseok, and I was wondering how much you would pay -”

“I know who you are,” The boy mumbled, looking down at the floor bashfully. He was a weird one, Minseok decided.

“You’re not going to answer the question, are you,” Minseok asked, sighing forlornly.

The boy glanced up, pressing his lips together and furrowing his eyebrows in innocent confusion before saying “what question?”

Definitely a weird one.

“Nevermind,” Minseok said with another long-suffering sigh. “Who are you and why are you in the dance studio?” He had a sudden thought and smirked. “Are you in ballet?” The school’s male ballerinas were a very secretive bunch, most of them preferring to hide away lest they get made fun of. Minseok could understand - he wouldn’t like being called a either.

Minseok watched as the boy’s eyes widened again and he visibly tensed, shaking his head vigorously and waving his hands around as if that would suddenly work. “What? No! Ballet? Of course not that would be weird onlyweirdguysdoballetdoilookweirdtoyoumaybeyoutakeballetwhat-”

“Jongin!” Sehun shouted, stopping what Minseok thought was a very amusing rant as he burst into the studio looking panicked. “Dude you have to go, I’ve just set my plans in motion and-” he spotted Minseok and blanched, trailing off with a quiet “and stuff...hey what’s up hyung, how’s your day going? How’s the wife? You’re here kind of early; I expected you to grab something to eat first or whatever.”

Minseok gave him a blank stare, wondering where to start first. There were a lot of questions to cover after all.

Sehun held out the bag of peanuts. “Would you care for a nut?”

Shrugging, Minseok reached over and grabbed a handful. “Day’s gone pretty good,” he began thoughtfully as he popped a shelled peanut into his mouth. “Punched Baekhyun in the face, as you might’ve heard. Wife went crazy during Calculus and ran away. Speaking of punching Baekhyun,” Minseok continued, secretly wondering where, exactly, he was supposed to spit out the peanut shell. The nearest trashcan was down the hall, and Minseok didn’t want to walk that far. “How much would you pay to do that?”

“Do what?” Sehun asked, setting his backpack on the wooden floor panels and bending down to rummage through it.

“Punch Baekhyun in the face,” Minseok elaborated, looking around the dance studio to make sure no one was watching (that Jongin boy seemed to have disappeared, though how Minseok couldn’t begin to know) before discreetly spitting the peanut shell into his hand while Sehun’s attention was focused elsewhere. It turned out to be in vain, since Sehun only hummed thoughtfully and produced a plastic grocery bag out of his backpack, handing it to Minseok knowingly.

“Why would I pay for something I could do for free?” Sehun pointed out, causing Minseok to frown. Very true.

“You make a fair argument,” Minseok muttered, putting the remnants of soggy peanut shells into the plastic bag before popping another one into his mouth.

“Why do you ask?” Sehun asked, grabbing his backpack once more to put away the bag of peanuts.

Minseok gave a nonchalant shrug. “Just, you know, scoping out potential money ventures.” Sehun gave an understanding nod. “Anyways, what am I doing here?”

To Minseok’s surprise, a pink tint appeared to crawl up Sehun’s neck, something the younger man immediately attempted to rub away. “What are you doing here?” He mumbled, not quite meeting Minseok’s eyes. “What am I doing here? Why are we here, hyung?” He looked up from his backpack, eyes imploring. “What purpose do we serve on this Earth?”

Minseok folded his arms across his chest and gave Sehun a level look. “Don’t you even start, Oh Sehun. You know how I feel about philosophy.”

Heaving a sigh, Sehun slowly straightened up, not quite meeting Minseok’s eyes and shuffling his feet awkwardly. “The thing is,” he began, looking a little abashed, “is that I was ordered by her majesty, Queen Kibum-”

“May she live forever in grace and harmony,” Minseok murmured fervently.

“May she live forever in grace and harmony,” Sehun agreed. “I was ordered to live up to my title as the Knight of Divine Innocence, lest I will otherwise be beheaded for treason against the crown.” There was a moment of silence, and then Sehun gave a forlorn sigh. “Ah, the things I do for royalty.” 

Minseok stared at him. Did he just say...but no. Surely not. Not Sehun. Never Sehun. Sehun was still a baby. Not even Kibum would force a child like Sehun to be a kissing card. What card was he on today?

“Knight of what?” Minseok asked, and Sehun smiled brightly.

“‘Divine Innocence’,” he repeated, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I tried to get someone to trade with me - at one point Yifan-hyung was the Innocent and I was the Smile, but there was a whole cluster of things going on that day so it didn’t last long. It’s ridiculous anyways, because I’m a lot of things but ‘innocent’ isn’t one of them. I tried to get Kibum-hyung to make me the Devilishly Handsome card, but he said there was already an Adonis card and it would be stupid to have both. Personally, I think Kibum-hyung is the stupid one. Don’t tell him I said that though, because he’s kind of... scary…” Sehun trailed off after seeming to realize that Minseok wasn’t listening, having instead dug his phone out of his pocket and turned it on.

Minseok hit speed dial #1 and put the phone to his ear, waiting as it rang.

“Hello?” Luhan greeted, sounding uncharacteristically frantic.

For a second Minseok considered asking if Luhan was okay - that ‘hello’ was a bit too hysterical - but he had a feeling that Luhan would just ignore the question. And anyways, feelings.

“Hey, are you in our room?” He asked instead, barely paying Sehun any mind as the younger man stared at him incredulously.

“Kind of,” Luhan hedged, and was it just Minseok or did he kind of sound like he might cry? “Why do you ask?”

Patience, Minseok reminded himself. Serenity. Luhan would tell him when he was ready.

“Would you mind going to my desk and see what Kissing Card I have today? I forgot to look this morning and Sehun just said that it’s him.”

“It is me,” Sehun exclaimed, looking decidedly offended. “Why would I lie about that?”

Minseok ignored him.

“It’s the Innocent,” Luhan snapped, and Minseok heard him let out a frustrated huff. “I’m getting off the phone now. Remember the special hell. Goodbye.” The line went dead before Minseok had a chance to open his mouth.

Odd.

“He told you it was me too, right,” Sehun said, looking quite smug.

Patience, Minseok reminded himself again. It was harder this time.

“Sehun,” Minseok began. Patiently. “You’re not even gay. Why don’t we just leave and tell Kibum we kissed when we really didn’t. No one will ever have to know the truth.”

Minseok was sure he’d never seen anyone look so offended in his life. “You want to lie?” Sehun gasped, palm pressed against his chest and eyes wide and accusing. “How could you, hyung?”

Sehun really needed to get into theater. He was a natural.

“You’re like...twelve,” Minseok pointed out flatly. Sehun gave a frown so deep it was practically indented in his face.

“I’m a legal adult,” he began, only for Minseok to shake his head in disagreement. No, he was twelve. “A legal adult,” Sehun repeated firmly. “I have been since April, hyung, even if you refuse to admit it.” Very suddenly, Sehun was right in front of him, hands gripping Minseok’s shoulders and eyes far too determined for Minseok’s comfort. “While we’re in this room, hyung, I don’t care that you’re a guy - it’s just a kiss, not a marriage proposal - and you’re not going to care that I’m younger than you.”

“Sehun,” Minseok began, voice placating as he attempted to wriggle away. Why did everyone have to be so tall?

“Why, you ask?” Sehun exclaimed, ignoring him easily. “Because you gave Huang Zitao a six and I ing refuse to lose to that guy!”

Minseok stared up at Sehun blankly, processing. Zitao? Who was - wait. Oh, for the love of...really?

“I only gave him a six because I didn’t want him whining at me!” Minseok snapped, desperately trying to get out of this situation. It was Sehun. And sure, maybe with the way that he was towering over Minseok he didn’t really look like Sehun, but he still was. Minseok didn’t want to go to the special hell.

“I have a reputation to maintain and a bet to win - Taemin and Jongin don’t think I’ll get a better score than that bastard, and we have to prove them wrong, hyung.” Sehun’s eyes were boring into Minseok’s, tone hard and demanding. “We have to. We can’t let them win.”
Minseok really wanted to argue. Or maybe just knock the idiot out and run away. Both were fairly good plans, in his mind. But wanting to knock Sehun out reminded Minseok of punching Baekhyun, which in turn reminded him of why he’d been annoyed with Baekhyun in the first place. Broken mirrors.

Oh, the things he did for Luhan.

“Fine,” Minseok sighed, admitting defeat. Where else was he going to get the money to pay for other people’s stupid mistakes? “But before we proceed, I’m going to need fifteen thousand won.”

Sehun raised his eyebrows skeptically. “For a kiss? That seems kind of steep.”

“What does Victoria-ssaem always say, Sehun?” Minseok replied, giving Sehun a patronizing look. “‘Nothing in life is free’. Now pay up or off.”

Sighing, Sehun obligingly stepped back and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. Within moments Minseok was fifteen thousand won richer, and all it had cost was his soul. And his pride. And his moral value. Maybe knocking Sehun out and running away could still be on the table. He’d keep the money of course, because that didn’t go against his morals at all. And it’s not like he would be stealing anyways because Sehun gave it to him freely - they could consider it down payment for later, because Minseok didn’t think he’d mind kissing Sehun when Sehun became a legal adult, which he wasn’t.

Minseok’s eyes darted around the dance studio, looking for something to hit Sehun over the head with - he was strong, but skulls were hard and he didn’t want to risk punching him only to have Sehun start crying. There were a couple of chairs still stacked against the far wall that they’d used during their last routine...they were metal though, and Minseok didn’t want to risk killing him either.

“Hyung.”

Wow, when had Sehun gotten so close? He was a like a ninja, a twelve-year-old ninja - a voice in the back of Minseok’s head that sounded suspiciously like Baekhyun echoed ‘pretend he’s someone else’, and Minseok obligingly squeezed his eyes shut and tried to conjure up an image of Hoya from Infinite.

He felt a hand cup the back of his neck, warm breath ghosting across his cheek before lips pressed against his, firm and unyielding, and Minseok’s eyes popped open in horror.

It was Sehun. Definitely Sehun. Minseok could see him, eyes closed and long lashes fluttering against his cheeks, and he was much too close and far too pretty.

For a moment, Minseok allowed himself to silently despair over his lack of imagination before finally admitting defeat. This was really going too far. He needed to learn how to say ‘no’.

Just not today.

Sighing against Sehun’s lips, Minseok grabbed Sehun by the front of his shirt, pulling him closer and letting his eyes fall shut once more. Might as well go all in, he told himself resolutely. He might not have been able to pretend that Sehun was Hoya, but he could still pretend that it was a dream. Yes. He was asleep and this was just a very strange dream. Soon he would wake up and forget about it like he forgot all of his dreams, and this entire encounter would cease to exist.

Sehun mumbled something against Minseok’s lips that sounded an awful lot like ‘I will prevail’ before settling his free hand on Minseok’s waist and tilting his head for better access.

Like all dreams (or maybe this was a nightmare. Was this a nightmare?), time became fluid, and Minseok barely noticed when his back hit the cool glass of the mirrored wall, or when Sehun’s hand crept up under his shirt, fingers dancing across the bare skin of his lower back. Minseok’s own fingers ached from clutching Sehun’s shirt so hard, but he didn’t pay the discomfort any mind, slipping his tongue between Sehun’s lips and silently repeating ‘not real, not real’ in his head. He was just starting to believe it, too, when the bell announcing the end of lunch began ringing through the loudspeakers.

Immediately, Minseok shoved Sehun away, taking deep, calming breaths and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Never again.

Sehun didn’t argue, but he looked decidedly put out, looking past Minseok to his reflection and fixing his hair as he asked “so what’s the verdict? Better or worse than that bastard’s six?”

By ‘that bastard’, Minseok assumed he meant Zitao.

“Better, I guess,” Minseok answered, mostly because he didn’t want Sehun to think that they needed to do it again. Sehun gave him a calculating look, and Minseok kept his expression carefully blank. It was better than Zitao’s, but he wouldn’t call it a six. Still, sacrifices had to be made. “A solid seven. Congratulations, Sehun.”

Sehun’s face fell. “Really?” He asked, obviously disappointed. Minseok wanted to smack him. “Just a seven? Are you sure? Maybe we should do it again, just in case.” Minseok’s response was a heavy glare until finally Sehun sighed and gave an accepting shrug. “Alright, fine,” he said, grabbing his backpack off of the floor and heaving it onto his shoulder before making his way towards the door with Minseok following unhappily. “You’re loss.”

Minseok’s glare intensified.

“I’ve got smooth moves,” Sehun muttered sullenly under his breath, ignoring Minseok’s expression as he opened the door and motioned for Minseok to go out first. “If I wanted to, I could totally have the . Stupid Zitao.”

Resisting the urge to burst into tears, Minseok’s shoulders slumped and his head dropped in defeat. “I’m going to the special hell,” he sighed, waving a blind goodbye at Sehun as he began trudging down the hall.

Even though he still had two classes and football practice left, Minseok made his way back to the dorm room instead. He’d find someone later and copy their notes, and make an excuse to the coach when his brain was working well enough to think of a good one. All he wanted to do now was crawl into bed, throw the covers over his head, and maybe cry a little bit.

Instead, he walked into the room he shared with Luhan only to hear a muffled “Did someone just open the door? Who the is there?” called out from the bathroom after he let the bedroom door snap shut. “Go away!”

Trudging towards the bathroom door, Minseok knocked on it lightly. “Luhan?” he asked, causing Luhan to let out a wail of despair. 

“No! Why are you here?”

“Because I need to reevaluate my life choices,” Minseok answered promptly, dropping down onto the floor and leaning against the bathroom door. “Why are you here?”

There was silence from the bathroom. Minseok waited, letting the back of his head fall against the doorframe and listening to Luhan’s uneven breaths, every once in a while punctuated by quiet hiccups. It was calming.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Luhan finally said, sounding distressed. 

Frowning, Minseok rolled his head to look at the door. “Is someone dead?” He asked, though honestly he was a little scared of the answer. Luhan’s grandmother was getting pretty old, after all, and he really kind of liked Nai Nai Lu. Whenever he went to China with Luhan for Chuseok she always made sure he got to eat hotpot. Lots of hotpot. Even with the language barrier it was obvious she thought he was too skinny. 

He hoped Nai Nai Lu was alright.

“Just my sanity,” Luhan answered before letting out a loud, hopeless wail. Oh thank god.

“Aw, it’s okay, Lulu,” Minseok cooed, petting the door comfortingly. "Your sanity's been sick for a really long time, it's in a better place now -"

"I'M ING SERIOUS YOU STOP PATRONIZING ME!"

Grinning, Minseok reached up and gripped the door handle. He tried it experimentally - not locked, that was a good sign - before opening the door. Luhan sat huddled between the wall and the sink, knees at his chest and arms circling his legs. He gave Minseok a look of utter betrayal. “You weren’t supposed to open the door you bastard,” he mumbled as Minseok began crawling towards him.

“I want to cuddle,” Minseok stated, ignoring him easily, “make room.”

With a long-suffering sigh, Luhan obligingly moved away from the sink, allowing Minseok to sit down next to him before Minseok grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into his lap. Immediately, Luhan wrapped his arms around Minseok’s middle and rested his head on Minseok’s shoulder.

They sat in silence for a long time, both musing over their own problems, before Luhan finally spoke. “How did it go with Sehun?” He asked, causing Minseok to let out a quiet whimper.

“I’m going to the special hell,” Minseok admitted, frowning deeply. Luhan nodded in sympathetic understanding and hugged Minseok tighter.

“It’s okay, Seokkie. We’ve all been there.”

‘Lies’, Minseok thought bleakly, petting Luhan’s head soothingly. All lies.

----

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. And I'm equally sorry that it's not very good. So...sorry...