Jiyong feels like he is dead.

After going through another sleepless session with Teddy, Jiyong didn’t even stop to think about eating. He wanted to go straight back to their apartment to get home to his love, his bed. Their concert tour has been brought to a close just recently and they’re already working for their comeback song. Though he has been given time off by the company to rest, he couldn’t get any sleep once the idea hit him. As soon as his pen hit paper, he couldn’t stop writing until he’s finished; so he told Teddy about it and they got to start the song, albeit the producer’s insistence that he rest.

After a full 18 hours in the studio editing the lyrics, making the basic melody and trying different arrangements to fit his lyrics, they had already called it a day; and here Jiyong was in their van in the middle of traffic on a Monday morning. He was looking at the people crossing the street. Mostly are businessmen and women wearing suits, carrying briefcases and talking to somebody in their phone. It was like watching a funeral procession; throngs of people wearing black or grey in a seemingly endless line.

With the traffic moving forward, he had nothing else to look at but the other cars around him, so he opted for the sunroof; staring out at the sky. Recently, he’s had a habit of staring out into the sky. Regardless of what time it was, whether it was sunny, cloudy, and starry or even if there was nothing but clouds in sight, he saw comfort in watching it for some reason. Today, all he saw was a canvas of whites and greys. It was a particularly chilly day in Seoul and there was no presence of warmth, save for the heater in their car. It got him thinking about his life.

Jiyong feels like he is a robot.

He is thankful that he doesn’t have a nine-to-five job, toxic officemates and a boss that looked like he came out of the devil’s . But it got him thinking about the past seven years of his career. He has been in the industry for 17 years, seven of that doing exactly the same thing over and over again. Write music, create an album, promote the album, pray that it becomes a hit, then rest. Rinse then repeat. It was draining him more and more.

His life feels like the sky; grey and heavy.

Jiyong was snapped out of his thoughts by his manager who informed him that they have arrived. Now he felt hungry and was debating with himself if he should swing by a convenience store to pick up something or if he should just whip up something to eat for himself. Not trusting his bandmates’ choice of breakfast which consisted of cereal, milk and sugar; lots of sugar.

As he came in to the silent, dark and empty apartment, he was again filled with his previous thoughts. Big Bang isn’t going to be here forever. Lots of new groups were coming out and taking the spotlight. Then they were going to have to do their military service eventually and it’s possible that they might part ways after. It almost happened before. Will he just wait for that day to come or should he do it ahead of others? What would he do when he becomes one of those has-been artists? Will people remember him 20 years from now? Jiyong, slowly getting aware of the destructive thoughts that were plaguing his mind, decides to stop his rant and distract himself until his bandmates get home and serve as entertainment. He gave cheeks a soft slap to get him out of those thoughts and opened the windows to let light in.

As daylight filled the living room, he noticed a few things; the living room looks clean save for the bits of popcorn on the couch which is most likely from Seungri because he was the only one who doesn’t listen to him whenever he reminds everyone to clean the couch after watching the movies. It looks like the boys cleaned the apartment before leaving for whatever it was they were doing for the day. Next was the sticky note on the mirror near the door. Wondering what was written, and who wrote it, Jiyong took it and saw a simple message from his hyung.

Jiyong,

See that voice recorder in the table? Play it.

-TOP

Curious as to what it meant, Jiyong immediately looked for a voice recorder in the house. Partly curious and partly annoyed because his hyung didn’t tell him which table had the voice recorder. They did have a lot of tables. After a few minutes and a facepalm, he was able to find the voice recorder in the coffee table next to the sofa. He sat down, pressed play and waited for something to come up.

“Hyuuuuung!” Jiyong was startled at the sudden shrill and cheerful voice of Daesung.

“Is this working? Hello? HELLOOOOO!” Jiyong winced at how loud his dongsaeng’s voice was. Then all he heard were the soft thumping of Daesung’s feet on the carpeted floor and his soft humming as he made his way through wherever he was.

“Hyung! I found it! I knew this would be useful someday.” Daesung was shouting again and Jiyong made it a point to place the recorder farther from his ear to avoid getting his eardrums damaged more than it already is from the younger’s voice.

“Good. So let’s get started.” Youngbae’s voice suddenly coming up. The two were apparently walking to somewhere judging by the inaudible chattering from the two and the sounds of their footsteps. After a few seconds, Jiyong heard a lot of sounds coming from the recorder such as the clunking of pots and a sizzle which means they were in the kitchen; the leader slightly becoming nervous at the knowing that his bandmates were left alone in the kitchen.

“Guys, we found the recorder. Now say hi!” Youngbae’s voice once more coming up followed by a loud chorus of hi’s and hello’s from his bandmates. “You didn’t come home last night.” Youngbae said and was followed by sounds of affirmation from the others. “You’ve been overworking yourself, again.”

“So, Top-hyung said we should do a little something for you.” Daesung’s voice rang. Jiyong was chuckling at how cute his bandmates were being. Then he heard Seunghyun’s voice. “Yah! You didn’t have to say that.”

“But I already did, hyung. So go and crack those eggs!” Daesung told Seunghyun while the others laughed.

“We made breakfast for you!” Seungri’s voice suddenly coming out of nowhere. “And we made it with looooooove!” Jiyong stood up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to see the warzone that his bandmates have created and was surprised to see a spotless kitchen and food covered in plastic wrap placed at the middle of the table. After seeing the food, Jiyong’s stomach made a noise which prompted him to grab a fork and eat while listening to the rest of the recording.

Jiyong was chuckling by himself while eating because of how funny his bandmates were being. But he got a little worried when Top decided that it will cook faster if they put it in the oven, with the lid and spatula on the pan. He was relieved when the attempt was stopped by the panicked screams of the rest of the band.

“Where’s the banana! Don’t forget the banana!” Top shouted.

“It’s over there, somewhere. I think. Can you look for it hyung?”

Really, what’s with this guy and bananas? Jiyong thought to himself.

“Jiyong-ah, you still there?” Seunghyun asked through the voice recorder; which he answered and immediately smacked his own forehead for answering a voice record.

“You’re still in vacation so don’t overwork yourself, okay. We can handle things here, so just rest and relax after you eat.”

“I’ll be going home to pick up a couple of things. I’ll be back later. Youngbae is going to YG for his session and I think these two are going on a date.” Seunghyun chuckled.

“Uhh…” his hyung paused, thinking of what to say next. “When I get back, why don’t we go out for dinner? I mean, just the two of us?” Seunghyun said a little softer; but was followed by catcalls and whistles from his bandmates cheering on him to say yes. Jiyong blushed burgundy when he heard his hyung ask him out on a date. The recording ended with Seunghyun chasing down his dongsaengs through the house and ‘punishing’ them for teasing him.

After eating, Jiyong couldn’t contain the smile from appearing on his face. Noting that he should repay them for what they did for him, especially Seughyun. He wrote down a small message of thanks on a sticky note and posted it on the mirror and went to his room with a huge smile on his face. He looked out once again at the sky. It was still grey, but not as dark as like it was earlier. There were patches of blue on it and sunlight was already shining through the clouds. Then he realized that his life really was like the sky.

It may be dark and cloudy,

But his friends, his brothers, and his Seunghyun who he cherishes with his whole being

Are the patches of clear blue sky that make it more beautiful.

Word Count: 1582

A/N: wow, that spiralled out of control. Anyways, tell me what you think. ;)