sehun feels like he’s in a cinema watching everyone in his life go in and out of the screen, going about their exciting yet mundane lives.

yesterday he saw jongin waving and smiling brightly to everyone around school, being the sociable guy he always is. he also saw jongin’s smile droop and falter when he was finally alone in the toilet - or he thought he was - gripping  tightly onto the edges of the wash basin and trying not to let his tears fall. he could do nothing but see jongin fight a quick mental battle before splashing water onto his face and going out to face the world again as the Cheerful Jongin that everyone knows.

today he watches as chanyeol grins and hums a tune that he always plays on his guitar after polishing all the rice off his plate. he also watches as chanyeol makes his way slowly to the toilet, and when chanyeol comes out he looks awfully gaunt, so awfully gaunt that sehun continues watching as chanyeol hums his way back to class, not missing the whiff of vomit on the tall boy’s blouse.

tomorrow he will witness kyungsoo silently drinking his cup of coffee while baekhyun and jongdae argue over who’s the ultimate troll in school. he will also witness kyungsoo scrolling through his phone and looking at universities and courses, and realize that the boy with huge, bulging eyes is going to make plans to get out of this hellhole as soon as the year is over, or much earlier, if he can help it, but all kyungsoo will do when junmyun asks him what his post-junior-college plans are, is smile.

sehun wishes that he can leave the cinema, but this is a movie he watches, everyday.