Minseok doesn't feel like Minseok anymore. 

Who would, when they've gone through what he has? 

He's sat in his perch for months now, just watching the love of his life tear himself up from the inside out. 

Luhan is a shell of a man and Minseok understands for the first time in ages. He understands the blank stares he recevied as answers when they first met. He understands the walls that Luhan had- still has- around his heart. 

But most of all, he understands what it feels like to be broken. 

He asks Luhan if he wants to do something everyday, a shake of the head his only response. 

Minseok only knows that Luhan's this way because of the names and cries and mumbles in his sleep when he's too tired to keep it in.

At first, it was just simple come back to me's but then they turned to screams of why did you leave me Jongin?s 

Minseok has gathered from bits and pieces, over almost 8 months, that Jongin was one who couldn't be fixed. A broken soul so shattered that if you even looked at the pieces, they'd scratch you too. 

He had had enough of it one day. 

So he jumped.

Minseok understands what it feels like to want to do that now. 

It's been months since Luhan has started smiling and working again. He has friends now, he's healed. Minseok healed him. 

But what Luhan forgot to do was go back and fix his own damage.

So now it's Minseok who won't look into his eyes anymore. 

They never touch; Minseok shies away from any adavncements.

Luhan doesn't remember a few months, he was too busy drowning himself in his sorrows of his lost love. He can't help but ask himself if he was the one who did this to Minseok.

He gets so fed up with self doubt that one Thursday when he gets off early from work to find Minseok sat on the window seat in the living room, that he asks him. 

"Minseok, did I do this to you?" And he guesses his choice of words were too harsh because all Minseok does is look at him. There's no emotion in his eyes. 

They hold nothing but his irises and it scares Luhan. 

So, Luhan does the only thing he can think to do. 

"Minnie..I-i think it's best if we break up." And Luhan finds that when Minseok leaves without his keys and phone that he's really ed up because Minseok just walked out without any of his things.

Minseok hadn't returned the next day and Luhan thought it was high time to look for him. 

He found him curled up under the swingset at the park across the street from their shared house. His lips were blue and he, along with the ground, were covered in a thin layer of snow. 

Luhan thinks that he's really, really, really ed up because he can recall a time when he found Jongin like this. 

It scared him. 

So, he took Minseok back to the house and covered him up with blankets upon blankets before leading him up to there room. But the blankets weren't working and Minseok only looked colder now than before. 

Luhan stripped Minseok of all his clothes but his boxers, did the same, and climbed into bed with him, rocking and singing to him until they both fell asleep to tears streaming down a face (neither knew which one).

It'd been several weeks since Luhan ed up and he was trying to make it up, really he was. He took Minseok out to the local Noraebang in Koreatown. Minseok sang a song or two, smiled once, but it was all an effort to convince Luhan. 

The next day Luhan came home to a house that was void of Minseok's things. Nothing was left, but a receipt for a one-way ticket back to Seoul. 

Minseok found Manhattan too suffocating with Luhan there.

A/N ok so i've been reading a lot of angst lately and it poured into this from Sara Bareilles' song "Manhattan" so srry lol. i'll try to update No Blood soon; it's gonna be more than 3 parts lol oops. anyways, i hope you enjoy. it's quite short :3