“The One Like You”

~That one person who appears even when close my eyes~

 

~~~

Sometimes like a super hero, Yoona would rather shoulder all the hurt than bother other people, she’d rather keep everything to herself, keep everything jumbled up inside her chest for as long as she can, even if it means forever.

 

Most of the times Yoona wished to be a super-hero so she can save those who are hurting because of her or rather just save those people who are hurting because of the unfairness of the world and because maybe if she was, the first person she’d save without a doubt is her then if she would be given the privilege to choose what super powers she would have, she would choose the power of restoration or healing and save people that she loved from hurting, or like the invincible body of super girl or superman because maybe if she did have any of those powers she herself could be save from the pain of her heart that is beating so loudly and heavily in pain right now.

 

She's hoping and wishing though she knows that even super heroes fall and is not excused from a so called ‘broken heart’.

 

It’s the only thing that she can do right now, to wish and hope that all of this are just a dream, and she would be able to wake up to a happy ending.

~~

 

Yoona.

 

Im Yoona.

 

It was her name, her body, yet during these past months it felt like it’s someone else instead.

 

Millie-Seconds.

 

Seconds.

 

Minutes.

 

Hours.

 

Days.

 

Months.

 

She didn’t know how many times have passed as every single tick of the clock doesn’t concern her anymore, everything felt dead to her, she herself felt dead.

Her world was colored with mere gray and black like an old movie playing around her as her memories flooded her chaotic mind.

 

Her inner life became motionless, still as if frozen inside a thick ice, leaving her with no choice but to watch that someone else living on her soulless body make her life merely pass by each single tick of the clock.

 

Everything’s moving, slowly moving, it was slow but moving nonetheless.

 

And yet here she is,

 

Stuck.

 

Trapped.

 

Alone.

 

In the same time and place where she last felt loving and like living again.

 

Emptiness was painful for her to bear but not even nearly painful enough as the truth that felt like it was burning her inside.

 

She opened her eyes revealing chocolate colored eyes surrounded by puffiness from crying too much. She stared at the white ceiling above her lost in her thoughts, memories and voices echoing through her head unwillingly replaying the unruly pasts that happened again and again.

 

~Flashback~

 

“I’m sorry ..." The doctor said and she felt like her whole world was crashing down little by little at the next words that she heard him say.

 

 

“But based on the tests, you are suffering from a growing tumor in your Cerebrum…”

 

 

Cerebrum is a part of the brain, it is responsible for your sending, thinking, learning, emotion, consciousness and voluntary movement I learned it from our class and she knew very few survived in this types of cases like her mom who died along with her father when she was young because of an accident when they are on their way to the hospital.

 

 

“W-what? You’re telling me that I have a growing thing in my brain?” she asked stuttering still in denial, wishing that what she just heard was wrong.

 

 

“I’m sorry to say it but yes Ms. Im and based on your family history  your deceased mother had this illness also so it’s not impossible and there’s a large possibility that you’ll have it or in case have” the doctor answered firmly as fear and refutation of the situation were slowly creeping into her heart.

 

 

“I can still undergo in an operation to remove it right?” She asked with a little hope that it’s still not that serious, that it can still be treated, that everything is going to be alright.

 

 

“Yes it can be removed through a surgery but I tell you the success rate is really low now just 20% and it’ll get lower as the time goes by… If you have just come for an early medication treatment, the tumor in your brain could've been removed by now"

 

 

“Even with 20 percent, hope is still hope tell me doctor would you recommend it for me to go through the operation is there any assurance that it would not occur again?”

 

 

The doctor stayed silent for a few seconds before answering, as if hesitating.

 

 

“Well…We can operate but there is no assurance that it’ll not reoccur again so…” The doctor answered as if indirectly telling her not to choose this option.

 

 

 “What if I don’t take the surgery?” She asked her voice quivering at the thought of the possibilities.

 

 

Nonetheless most of all her thoughts gathered to one person.

 

 

“You will be able to live in a few years it’ll depend on your inner survival” the doctor answered. She let out a broken smile. At least she would still have a few years to be with her right?

 

 

Yul…

 

~End of Flashback~

 

The doctor’s sympathetic voice once again replayed in her mind. It was terrible news yet she can’t help but to replay his words again and again.

 

 

“It’s better to let him go right? Than to make him suffer for so long…at least he can forget you earlier and not get hurt when you’re gone plus our marriage will save your company and great grand father’s life right? So what is your decision?”

 

 

She closed her tired eyes hoping to block everything but even doing so, it just spitefully continued.

 

 

“Will you selfishly kill your own great grandfather? The one who fed and supported you all your life and be with her or be with him and save everyone from suffering?” 

 

 

“But I love her!”

 

 

“Choose.”

 

 

She buried her face on her pillow as Yuri’s sleeping image looking serene appears in her mind.

 

“I accept the proposal”

 

 

“It is set then Tiffany will be set free on this agreement in exchange of Yoona, she will be the one who’s going to marry him”

 

 

“Thank you my Granddaughter you helped our family a lot and made your old man proud, I'm sure your father and mother is really proud of you in heaven right now”

 

 

“Grandpa I don’t want to break your heart but I don’t know if I could hold on to this anymore…”

 

 

Unconsciously she felt her eyes became wet. Yoona grabbed a few sheets of tissues from her night stand and wiped her tears. She loves both of her family and Yuri so much that she didn’t want to see either of them in pain.

 

 

Seung Gi’s face and voice suddenly appears in her mind again.

 

 

“Let her go and marry me?”

 

 

Yoona bit her lip.

 

She turned her body and suddenly her elbow accidentally pressed on her Ipad making a set of pictures show. Pictures that are useless to others that would see yet very precious to her heart, a plant, flower, book, chair, field, table, building, an entwined hands and a smiling face of the one she love that she couldn’t even look at without crying, and just like before upon seeing the picture her tears came out dropping one by one, she was about to sob loudly again.

 

Yoona opened the TV to drown the sound of her tears, so no one would be able to hear whatever it is that’s happening inside her room and inside her heart. On the TV a music video was playing, She looked at it even though she doesn’t need to see the video to know the one what’s playing because she already memorized it by the number of times that she and Yuri watched and played the music video. It was Haru haru the song that they both first listened to back in college. When they first watched the video they we’re awed, Yuri always say that the two was really strong and courageous and she agreed with it. They both love how courageous the man is to let his lover go just so she will be happy even if it’s not him she’s with, while they looked up to how strong the girl is on facing the pain and for letting go so he will forget about her soon and find another love, so her love won’t be in so much pain when she died. Reminding her of that quote that she’d read ‘letting go doesn’t always mean that you’re weak sometimes it’s just means you’re strong enough to let go’. Though she was awed by the girl’s strength, she found the girl a bit stupid for just letting go and not telling the boy what’s happening to her. she laughed a bit inwardly finding it ironical because never it crossed her mind that she would be like living this little music video’s story line on her real life.

 

Suddenly she remembered her mother’s words a day before the accident occurs when she confessed to her that she lied when she said that she didn’t sneak into the kitchen and ate a cookie last night. It was also the last night that she got the chance to talk to her mom before the accident occurs so it was really memorable for her.

 

 

"Yoongie you shouldn't lie because a lie will just hurt you and the people around you specially the person you lied to…"

 

 

Yuri's crying face, tears painfully flowing down on each cheek appeared on her mind.

 

 

"Maybe, maybe I...should have listened to you, mom..." Yoona muttered as she closed her puffy eyes trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to come out of her eyes. She doesn’t want to cry anymore. She’s tired and drained from crying every night after putting on a façade all day that everything’s all right. Tired of being with the person she hated the most acting like a lovely couple in front of everyone, acting as if she’s really in love with him when all she can think about is her. her face, her eyes, how she smile, the way she moves, laugh, talk and how much she loves her.

 

 

It kills her to act like everything is perfectly fine when the truth is little by little she’s dying inside every second that she’s away from her.

 

Wanting to die because she knows that she's the one who caused her pain but afraid that if she was to die she would never be able to see her ever again.

 

 

Died the first time she saw the hurt in her eyes when her eyes met hers.
 

 

She felt her head throbbed in pain; she placed her hands on her head while gritting her teeth at the immense pain.

 

 

That word, pain, she was reminded of the promise that she made years ago to not give it to her, not intentionally at least because there’s no guarantee that the one you love won’t always be hurt because of you.

 

 

She was tired.

 

 

Emotionally, mentally and physically tired.

 

 

Very tired and weak.

 

 

Weak because she remembers how her warmth left hers earlier and she didn’t do anything to stop it.

 

 

Tired because she can’t even close her eyes without being reminded of her face.

 

 

She’s feeling pain.

 

 

Pain that she suffered physically too but still can't be compared to the pain in her heart.

 

 

Heart.

 

 

Her heart that loves that certain person so much.

 

 

Love.

 

 

 Love that she promised to give her forever.

 

 

My heart will you please stop beating heavily and loudly with… she trailed off she doesn't know what to call it anymore is it pain? Emptiness? Longing? Sorrow? Maybe a mix of all of it? She doesn’t know anymore. Her heart became numb like an empty void only knowing hurt and sadness since she decided to left her.

 

 

A lone tear escaped her eyes.

 

 

“Yul...I wish you’re with me”

 

 

She's still craving for her, for her love.

 

 

Her phone beeped showing she had a message.

 

 

-

From: Unknown

Are you sleeping? I’m sorry if I became too rough earlier it’s because you made me mad.

Rest well for our wedding ceremony tomorrow.

-

 

Flashback

 

“Yoona~” Seung GI called out with a sweet voice when he saw her.

 

 

“What?” She smiled, albeit a forceful smile to hide her disgust. They are not outside there will be no one watching them nor is any member of her family present at the moment so she doesn’t need to act so polite and into him but knowing him, she knows that angering him should be the last thing that she should do.

 

 

“Nothing just wants to remind you that I want to fly to LA for our honeymoon” He smirked.

 

 

“Whatever” Yoona muttered in disgust before getting into the car leaving Seung Gi alone.

 

 

“I told you to not ever talk to me like that!” Seung Gi gripped her wrist tightly. She winced at the tight grip on her wrist it would surely leave a bruise.

 

 

“Let go! You’re hurting me!” Yoona shouted while wriggling prying away Seung Gi’s grip on her wrist.

 

 

“Don’t—“ Seung Gi’s voice was interrupted by his father.

 

 

“What’s happening in here?”  They both turned to the voice and Seung Gi’s grip quickly loosened releasing Yoona’s wrist leaving a red mark on it. While Yoona just rubbed the reddened skin soothing the pain.

 

 

“Nothing Father we were just discussing something about the wedding” Seung Gi politely answered hoping his father won’t see through his lie.

 

 

“Is this what you call talking?” his father raised Yoona’s wrist clearly showing the red mark Seung Gi just bowed his head.

 

 

 “I don’t want to ever see you hurting her understand?”

 

 

“Yes father…” Seung Gi replied obediently after all he knew that it’s better to not cross his father’s wishes or else he’ll surely face trouble.

 

 

“Butler Hans are you going to go with her?”

 

 

“Yes, master”

 

 

“No, You don’t need to accompany her instead you will be with me I need you to do a task for me”

 

 

“As you wish Master” Butler Hans replied stoically.

 

 

“You can go now Yoona, have fun on your day okay?” the older man patted her head.

 

 

“Thank you Uncle!” Yoona said with a genuine smile as she hugged the older man who warmly hugged her back.

 

 

Seung Gi’s father set her off and waved at her as she drive away from the drive way.

 

 

Yoona crossed the road when the park crossed her mind.

 

End of Flashback

 

 

Yoona gripped her phone at the reminder that she will be with this man after this day, she wanted to rest and sleep so maybe when she woke up this entire event are going to be just one of her bad dream and she will happily see that person she loves when she wakes up.

 

 

She turned her head to her side about to close her eyes when it caught a leather covered notebook on her table that has been untouched for a long time now. It was untouched for a long time because she lacked the courage to open it until now. She slowly stood up and dragged her legs towards it tracing the neat golden letters that are engraved on it with her trembling fingers.

 

 

 

“Y∞Y”

 

 

 

That acronyms…it brought her sadness and pure bliss at the same time reminding her of the meaning behind those two letters and symbol. This notebook it was a gift to her by the person who holds her heart. It was full of memories, both sad and happy. She hesitantly lifted the cover opening the notebook. Inside was a neat handwriting that she will always recognize from who it belonged.

 

05.30.08

 

“You're the reason why I love Im Yoona because before you, I can't truly understand what I was looking for and what it is to love someone, but now that I’ve found you, we've found each other. You’ve given my past and future with new purpose and meaning.  We are the young lovers that our older-selves will cherish and reminisce about. The time we spent together was the most magical times of my life and I can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

 

 

Yoona quickly closed the leathered notebook feeling her heart being squeezed tightly inside her chest. She closed her eyes with her left hand squeezing tightly on her shirt for a minute before opening them again and bracing herself to open the book once again that spoke of her past and more importantly her heart.

 

May 30, 2008

 

Right now. <3 Tomorrow. <3 Forever.<3

Let’s be together! ^^~

<3<3<3

 

She traced the words made with her own handwriting at the paper with her fingers smiling despite being unsure if she should go on knowing that once she chose to turn the pages she would be back once more on the world where she could see that one person she wishes to be with and all of her feelings that she tried so much to forget will all come back to her crushing her dull and barely intact heart into millions of pieces if still possible.

 

 

“Should I go on?” Yoona thought closing her eyes with tears still adorning her cheeks.

 

 

Yoona held her breath and shakily turned the corner of the page ready to flip it but then she stopped unable to find strength to open it again so she just let it aside and closed her eyes hearing the start of another sad music on the background as memories began flooding her mind again.

 

“The One Like you” 

By

(Jessica Jung SooYeon – 제시카 정)

 (SNSD – 소녀시대)

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Is this what love is?

Does it hurt the more you do it?

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

For a few days now, Yoona would curiously stare at the childish and boisterous soccer captain playing around outside on the field with his teammates from the window of their council room while she was taking a break. It caught her attention on how that girl could just play around with her teammates, making faces and ridiculous things without caring for anything, not even her reputation in school as the captain, unlike her who watched out for everything she does.

 

 

It was weird but by watching her it made her feel at ease and working with tons of home works and paper works appear less dreadful to her every day.

 

 

It was another meaningless afternoon and around this time that girl was probably out on the field already practicing as the time states that it’s already 3:00pm.

 

 

She quickly typed everything that is needed to be typed and glanced outside the window searching for the childish kkab that she was always watching but when the one she’s waiting for didn’t appear on the field Yoona couldn’t explain the emotion she felt inside her, it was like something throbbed inside her.

 

 

Disappointment maybe? Loneliness? Irritation or maybe a mix of all?

 

 

Her thoughts on where that girl could be were quickly interrupted as she heard the sound of the opening door revealing her beaming cousin grinning from ear to ear but it vanished when she saw the papers lying on the table beside the computer.

 

 

“How can you finish all this in an hour?” Tiffany asked amazed once again at her cousin’s work. All of the three hundred page project that she drafted yesterday are already typed and fixed ready to be presented into the other members of the council.

 

 

“Cause we need to go home early today I still need to pass my project tomorrow” Yoona moved her swivel chair near the window and sat on it.

 

 

“Project? What project?”

 

 

“Hearing that from you I’m pretty surprised that you’re one of the top three in our school, how disappointing unnie” Yoona faked a sigh before smirking a little as she saw Tiffany blushed a little, embarrassed.

 

 

“Yah! I’m sorry miss top one in our school it just slipped my mind that we need to pass our project tomorrow okay”

 

 

“Are you sure you didn’t cheat on our exams?” Yoona teased Tiffany further.

 

 

“Yah! By the way I’ll just go outside I’ll be back in a few”

 

 

“Hmm…” Yoona hummed as a reply as her gaze directed outside the window again about to think where on earth could her subject of attention during these past few days could be when she heard some laughter coming from outside.

 

 

Oh it’s her.

 

 

“HAHAHA!” 

 

 

Yoona smiled at the sound of that big laugh.

 

 

A tall tanned girl was laughing with a snow covered Jessica.

 

 

“Hey! Come back here!”  Jessica shouted chasing the other girl with a ball of snow in hand.

 

 

“No way!” The other shouted.

 

 

Yoona didn’t know how long she was staring at her until she heard Tiffany’s voice behind her.

 

 

“Are you sure it’s because of a project that you want to finish early and not because you just want to watch someone who is tall, tanned skin and a childish kid like you?” Tiffany grinned at her and looked outside too but her eyes are on a certain brunette who is chasing her team captain.

 

 

“Of course not! Why would I?” Yoona denied too quickly as Tiffany’s grin widened at the obvious lie.

 

 

Yoona groaned and turned to the two girls running around childishly throwing snow balls at each other.

 

 

When Yoona turned she caught her eyes staring right at their direction or her, and she held her breath at the look of those black clear orbs.

 

 

The girl quickly grinned and waved both of her hands in the air childishly without caring if her teammates are all looking at her.

 

 

“HIIIIIIIII!!!!!!” He shouted loudly making Jessica stopped running around and playfully smacked her in the head for doing a really embarrassing thing in front of the whole team.

 

 

“Yah! What are you doing? Stop doing that you’re really an embarrassing captain!” Jessica scolded and then turned to the window where the two girls are watching them. Seeing her girlfriend and her cousin looking at them, she winked at them specifically to Tiffany before mouthing an ‘I love you’ and then did a heart shaped using her arms above her head.

 

Tiffany just giggled at her dorky Girlfriend before blowing a kiss towards her.

 

 

“Ewww!” The duo’s teammates shouted loudly at the public display of affection.

 

 

“Yah! You’re worst than me remember you’re my co-captain!” The girl shouted at her friend and threw her a large snow ball in the face resulting them on chasing each other again.

 

Yoona and Tiffany just laughed at what happened to the two.

 

The girl abruptly stopped running and her eyes stared directly at Yoona’s. He didn’t say anything yet Yoona felt her eyes spoke so many unspoken words.

 

She turned away and stood up avoiding from the heart-racing gaze that she’s receiving.

 

~~~~~~~~~

                                                                                                       

Love, It gets you when it gets you.

 

The first time I laid my eyes on you Yul… It felt weird like my eyes are getting magnetized by you, The constant skipping of my heart every time I see your smile it all felt new to me. At that time I never knew what it is but slowly, slowly I finally realize and told myself…

 

So this is how falling in love feels...

 

You're the reason why I love Kwon Yuri. Because before you, I can't truly understand what it is to love someone.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The more I get closer to you

My feelings grow bigger

It scares me

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Come on let's go" Yuri said as she held Yoona’s hand and walk ahead.

 

 

Yoona stared at her as they were walking. Her gaze then fell into their connected hands, Yuri’s hand tightly holding hers. She suddenly let go of Yuri’s hand and held it again smiling like a kid.

 

 

"What are you doing?" Yuri chuckled as she looked backwards.

 

 

"Nothing hehe" Yoona smiled shyly.

 

 

“Hmm…” Yuri just hummed in response as she looked forward again.

 

 

Yoona did it again and when she let go her hand she felt Yuri’s hand grasped her hand tightly and firmly.

 

 

"I’ll just hold your hand then, don't hold back if you don't want to" Yuri just simply stated.

 

 

"Eh?" Yoona asked confused and worried at the same time if she made her mad because of her little game.

 

 

But Yuri just entwined their hands and gripped it tightly craning her neck backwards to look at her.

 

 

"If you hold my hand you might let go again like that, but if I hold your hand I will never gonna let go" Yuri said with seriousness as his smile curved into a charming smile to a stunned and blushing Yoona behind her.

 

 

"Don’t worry, I won't ever let go again" Yoona stated and smiled but she duck her head as she felt her face heat up more at the smile that is etched on Yuri’s face.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

I said I won't ever let go yet I did. Yuri...  Yul I'm really sorry...

 

I promised that I will love you forever and I do, I will...

 

Yul I miss you...

 

There are so many promises that I’ve broken already but there’s one thing I assure you, I won’t ever break the promise to love you forever.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Such a precious person to me

That person, who won't ever come again

That's it for me, that’s enough

Just the fact that I love you

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“Yoong...” Jessica muttered when she saw Yoona not missing the flinch Yoona let out at the nickname, she forgot that the name has been banned after what happened to Yuri.

 

 

“Hi Jessica-unnie” Yoona let out a wide smile expecting the older girl to do the same but was surprised to see Jessica engulfing her into a tight hug.

 

 

“Thank you and sorry...I'm really sorry…” Jessica whispered into her ear.

 

 

“You're always welcome...and don't say sorry you’re just loving, love never says sorry okay?” Yoona comfortingly patted Jessica's back as she felt that her shirt became a bit wet, she assumed that it was because of Jessica’s tears.

 

 

“She's in there with Sooyoung, you can look through that large window and don't worry it's works like a one way mirror, Soo told me that her father made it built so the guardian or relatives of the patients inside could monitor them without causing a distraction, so basically even if you stand in front of it she won't be able to see you”

 

 

Yoona nodded and walked near the window with her head hanging low like a student going to the disciplinarian’s office, her heart pounding loudly with each step she took. She made a deep breath calming her nervous self as to what she’s going to see before lifting her head to look at the large window showing the patients that are on therapy trying to walk.  She scanned the room with her eyes and there she saw her, that one person she missed and love all these years, Awake smiling, standing and laughing with her doctor slash friend Sooyoung.

 

 

Sooyoung is Yuri’s friend since middle school like Jessica but later on became her friend too, so seeing Sooyoung laughing with her like the old times made Yoona smile. She felt all sorts of emotions on her chest that she can't explain but out of these emotions there is one that she can at least point out. One that stood out the most that she had the capacity to explain. It was pure bliss, like she's on top of the world seeing the most beautiful and important thing for someone like her for the very first time.

 

 

“Yoona…” Yoona felt her eyes sting, she turned to look at Jessica who is handing her a checkered patterned handkerchief.

 

 

“Why?” Yoona croaked out on a raspy voice which confused her.

 

 

“You’re...crying" Jessica replied frowning a bit.

 

 

Yoona touched her cheeks and indeed it was wet. Jessica’s right she was crying, letting out tears of joy of seeing Yuri again after all this time. Smiling and laughing like before as if she didn’t get into an accident, as if she didn’t sleep on the hospital bed for almost 3 years, as if she didn’t miss her, as if they we’re not living in this dire situation, as if she could still be with her—that's right she couldn't be with her now.

 

 

Yoona slowly placed her trembling right hand on the glass panel wanting to touch her though fairly knowing that she couldn't. She moved her fingers across the glass as if imagining that she was tracing her features with her fingers without the glass window. The glass was bleak and ice-cold unlike the warm feeling that she always feels whenever she touched her face and traced her fingers from her cheek to the side of her jaw. The warmth that she feels every time she lifts her hand near her face and as if on automatic she will lean on her hand and snuggle against it with her warm cheeks.

 

 

“I missed you...” She whispered placing her forehead gently on the glass and then she saw Yuri suddenly looked at their way and she caught her curious eyes for a fraction of second, Her heart skipped a bit at this after all this years she can still make her heart skip a beat without doing anything but to stare. She blank out for a few seconds but quickly panicked inwardly when it crossed her mind that Yuri could see her but remembered that the glass is like a one way mirror she couldn’t see her, only she can see through it. She exhaled the breath that she unconsciously held relaxing and calming her speeding heart.

 

 

“She…believed?” Yoona asked after a few minutes of silence between them knowing the older girl knows what she meant.

 

 

“Yes...” Jessica replied looking through the glass like she was doing.

 

 

"I told her you were happy with him like what you told me to tell her” Yoona could hear the bitterness on Jessica’s voice.

 

 

“And?”

 

 

 "And she wished both of you well…"

 

 

"I see" Yoona replied with a forced smile.

 

"Still the same old Super hero Yul who always let go if it’s for the better I see..."

 

 

A super hero who always sacrifice for others.

 

 

 For the two of us.

 

 

For me.

 

 

My very own Superman.

 

 

 “Is it for the better this time though?” Jessica muttered but Yoona chose to ignore it.

 

 

"Super hero Yul the first and last person who captured this heart of mine…" Yuri said.

 

 

"Will always be the same with her" Jessica whispered lowly but Yoona heard it clearly, making Yoona’s lips curved into a small sad smile.

 

 

They stayed silent, their eyes watching Yuri with Sooyoung holding unto her waist. And unwittingly Yoona felt a pang of jealousy seeing them like that. She glared looking at Sooyoung with a full blast of jealousy and murderous intent.

 

 

“Soo would freak out if she saw you looking at her like that” Jessica laughed a little at Yoona's antics.

 

 

“Her hand is on my—” Yoona stopped mid-sentence on what she is going to say knowing she doesn’t have the right to call that person hers anymore.

 

 

She’s not yours anymore and you’re not worthy to be her. You are a coward Yoona, you have no right to be with her.

 

 

Silence engulfed them again for a moment before Jessica broke it.

 

 

“Yoong just back out on this don’t do this to her” Jessica said suddenly.

 

 

“We’ll just find a way—“

 

 

“Stop Jessica-unnie you know that there’s no other way other than…” Yoona trailed off knowing Jessica would understand what she is trying to say.

 

 

Jessica sighed at what she heard and faced her fully. Jessica’s eyes radiating with both sadness and determination.

 

 

“Then Fany and I will just brea—” Yoona clenched her fist suppressing the anger and pain building up on her chest.

 

 

“Don't you dare say that word” Yoona said icily that she never used before and Jessica stared at her surprised, Yoona was not the type to use that kind of voice she’s always careful on how the way she speaks.

 

 

“You had another chance with my cousin Tiffany-unnie with this so please don't waste it, make her happy” Yoona added softly looking watching Yuri trying to stand up using the bars with Sooyoung on her side.

 

 

Jessica just remained silent conceiting defeat.

 

 

Yoona’s phone beeped showing a message on her screen.

 

 

-

From: ♥

0xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Where are you? It’s time for our rehearsal already! I’ll only wait for you for ten minutes and if you’re still not here you know what is going to happen. Don’t make me mad.

-

 

 

Yoona sighed heavily wanting to slam her Samsung S4 on the face of the person that texted her. No she just wants to beat that person’s face until she became tired of it. She hates him so much more than anyone else. She sighed heavily knowing she needs to leave now, that her time with Yuri is now already up.

 

 

“Jessica-unnie?” Jessica turned her head side ward’s to face Yoona.

 

 

“Please take care of her…” Yoona said before swallowing the large amount of lump forming in that is preventing her from saying the next few words that she never imagined saying until now.

 

 

“Make sure she'll move on with someone good and be happy…”

 

 

Jessica just nodded her head.

 

 

“Thank you” Yoona replied with a smile. A bright smile contrast to the tears that are welling up on her eyes.

 

 

It hurts like hell.

 

 

She turned again to look at her love and lift her free hand on the air turning it into a fist. She saw her smiling face. Her tears slowly started to roll down her cheeks.

 

 

“I love you...” Yoona whispered under her breath as she saw his gaze directed to their direction again, she felt like she was staring at her though she perfectly knows that it’s not possible because it’s like a one way mirror and only she can see her. 

 

 

"Disappear…" Yoona said while releasing and twirling her hand as if doing magic.

 

 

"You'll forget the bad memories and be happy..."

 

 

Right?

 

 

Yoona let out a smile and moved a few steps backwards not bothering to wipe out the tears that are freely flowing down, why would she when it'll only be covered with the set of fresh new tears if she wiped them away? She looked at her for the last time before turning around to leave with her breaking heart ripping loudly of each step she took away from her.

 

 

“Oh unnie?” Yoona called out.

 

 

“Y-yeah?”

 

 

“I’m not a super hero but I always wish to be one…” with that Yoona began walking away.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

At that time I started to walk away, slowly, to the world where Yuri is already gone. To the world that I need to hide behind on a façade every single second of my now miserable life, To the world where she can't be mine, To the world where my love grows deeper for her each day, To the world where my heart doesn't matter anymore.

 

 

I wonder if I didn’t walk away on that day and just hugged you saying the truth, would you be here with me? The unsaid words within my heart, hurts our present, perished future and cherished past.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The one person who can't see me though I am looking

The one person who can't hear me though I am calling

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

"Ahh~ shoppping really feels great!" Sunny said after hopping into the car with Yoona and Tiffany.

 

 

"Yeah it's been a while since we shopped together" Yoona laughed.

 

 

"What do you mean a while it's been years since Y—ouch!" Sunny was cut off when she was elbowed by Tiffany.

 

 

"Right" Yoona smiled at them and played with her Iphone to avoid the awkward atmosphere, soon she felt her eyes getting heavy wanting to sleep.

 

 

"I'll just sleep for a few minutes just wake me up when we get there okay?" Yoona laid her head on Tiffany's shoulder.

 

 

"Okay~" Tiffany whispered she knows that Yoona rarely falls asleep by the sound that she always hear outside the girls door whenever she pass by it. Yoona fell asleep in an instant.

 

 

"OH!" Sunny exclaimed loudly waking Yoona up in the process also making the said girl curious as to what Sunny is seeing and she slightly opened her eyes just enough to see Sunny blurrily and vaguely with wide eyes looking outside the car’s window obviously looking at something.

 

 

"Shh! Lower your voice Yoong might wake up!" Yoona heard tiffnay whispered harshly making Sunny clamped her hand to looking at the ‘sleeping’ girl. Yoona closed her eyes quickly pretending to be still in the dream land knowing they don't want her to see whatever's outside.

 

 

"It was...?" Yoona heard Sunny muttered making her more curious on whatever –whoever it was that they saw outside.

 

 

"I think" Tiffany lowly answered.

 

 

"Excuse me Mr. Go when did that red car started following us?" Tiffany asked her driver.

 

 

"That Car? Ah Since when we left the house miss it was one of Lady Jessica’s car so it didn't bother me that it was following us around"

 

 

When Yoona heard the driver’s answer she felt a painful tug on her heart.

 

 

“My heart please…just please…stop when will you stop beating so loudly, heavily, in pain? Please just stop…”

 

 

"Jessica’s? So it was really her..."

 

 

Yoona wanted to open her eyes and ask who is it that they are talking about though she already had a fair idea of whom it was. She became denial that maybe it was not who she thinks it is but Sunny’s voice interrupted her inner debate.

 

 

"Yul...She seemed like she was looking at Yoongie isn’t it?" Sunny said in a low tone.

 

 

"Yeah I think she is and…it was really heartbreaking to see her looking at her like that" Tiffany answered sadness obviously coating her voice.

 

 

"She doesn't look too good too...is she eating properly? She needs to eat a lot to recover" Sunny added.

 

 

“Jessi said she’s eating but not that much…just enough so she’ll be able to take her medicines”

 

 

“What to do…”

 

 

"Good thing Yoona baby's sleeping it'll hurt her…" Tiffany said absentmindedly.

 

 

"Hurt? What do you mean?" Sunny asked curiously with a cocked eyebrow.

 

 

"I mean she's still Yoona's past right? So it'll affect her to see her like that...not well" Tiffany lied cause no one else knew about what's really happening in their family except for her mother, grandfather, brother, Yoona, Jessica and her.

 

 

"Right" Sunny said even though she’s not satisfied with the answer, she just let it slide as everything will surely fall into place at the right time.

 

 

Yoona sighed and forced herself to sleep not wanting to deal with the feeling that is creeping up into her heart, the vortex of feelings that’s swallowing her whole heart leaving it into an endless void of pain.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Avoiding isn't always mean that we hate it, sometimes it means 'I don't want to replay that memory and make my heart hurt again'

 

 

Before I really love it when I catch you looking lovingly at me, then you'll smile and look away...but the way you look at me with pain in your eyes…it’s so sad that I promised to never ever see it again.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Do you even remember me?

Do you even think of me?

Just once, please

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

"Hi" a well-known voice behind Yoona greeted her making her heart skipped a beat and her whole body tremble that she almost lost her hold on the glass of champagne that she is holding on her hand. That voice she knows it, it was a voice that she'll be able to recognize even it was miles away. She didn’t know what to do so slowly she turned around as different feelings welled up within her chest and when she finally looked at the person who greeted her. It was so painful, hurtful to know that this smiling person in front of her was the one who is going through with so much pain just because of her.

 

 

"H-hey...." Yoona greeted back ignoring the loud ringing of her heart on her ears unable to move as she felt her foot rooted on the spot.

 

 

"So...How are you?" She asked rubbing the back of her neck showing that she doesn't really know what to do at the moment either, she really didn’t change.

 

 

"I'm...fine..." Yoona answered hesitantly looking up bracing herself to look into her eyes.

 

 

And when she finally had the courage to look up their eyes connected at that instant. She felt like a bullet went straight through her heart. Every second that passed at that moment paralyzed her. She was helplessly drowned into the way she stared at her.

 

                                                                    

“I…missed a lot of things I guess…”

 

 

“Yeah” Yoona replied still immersed in her eyes.

 

 

“I miss you, didn’t you miss me?”

 

 

Yoona wanted to say it but she caught herself and bit her lip.

 

 

“I…I…missed you…” She said as her stare pierced through me.

 

 

There was sadness in there.

 

 

Sadness that could never be describe, or she just plainly doesn’t want to decipher how much sadness the person in front of her have as it will only make her more guilty of what she had done.

 

 

“I…Yoong…”

 

 

Yoona looked up again to stare at his eyes and it was saying ‘What happened to us?’

 

 

It was silent for a few moments with them just staring at each other’s eyes as if the noise from the crowd that they were in didn’t exist before she gathered up all her strength to open to answer. Yoona thought that a silent reply would be the best but she decided against it because it will only left her with some hope that will make her stuck in one place not moving on, like her.

 

 

“Yul…I’m sorry he loves me so much and I’m happy with him…” Yoona said, lying once again to the person she love in front of her, she wanted to choke, her stomach whirling in an unpleasant feeling protesting, but she tried her best to be composed as she said those words that she knows was going to hurt her badly but she needed to say it so she would be free.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

When I heard your greeting, asking how was I doing my heart that I covered with ice through time to lockup myself melted in an instant. How quickly I put up walls, yet how easy it was for you to break them down. It was so quick for you to make your way back to my heart again.

 

 

The cautious voice that kept on warning me had been silenced the moment I stared at your eyes, I was so happy to hear your voice for the first time in years and when you said you missed me, tears are begging to fall from my eyes but I refused to let it show because I don't want you to see me crying because I know you wouldn't understand the reason behind my tears.

 

 

When you were still in the hospital I always ask myself this Yul,

 

 

Did you hurt as much as I did too? But now seeing you right now up close, looking up to my eyes the answer is obvious.

 

 

I’m really sorry Yul.

 

 

I’m sorry for letting go.

 

 

I'm sorry for the way I let you go.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The only thing I can do is cry but

Like a fool, I am waiting

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“Tiffany Unnie why are you—Grandpa? I mean chairman Hwang…” Yoona stuttered out confused at what is happening. She can’t even believe this is real. Their grandfather from America came to visit here in Korea? 

 

 

What on earth is going on?

 

 

“Ah Yoona …you grew up so much since I last saw you, you became a beautiful woman”

 

 

"Y-yes...I'm Yoona" Yoona bowed respectfully feeling awkward and happy at the situation. She finally saw her grandfather face to face the corner of her lips are tugging upwards to smile but she refused to as she's still confused on why her cousin, Tiffany is crying like that with her auntie beside her heaving daughter, she was calming her down. She was about to ask Tiffany what's wrong but her grandfather's voice halted her.

 

 

"Are you going to disobey me now? Grow up and be matured Tiffany!" Her grandfather scolded with a cold tone.

 

 

“What you are telling me now is not as easy as it sounds grandpa! Why are you just telling it to me now?!” Tiffany cried out burying her face into her palms again.

 

 

“W-what’s happening?” Yoona was entirely confused at what she saw it was a rare sight for her to see her cousin crying that much. She scanned the person who was in the room with them. It was Seng Gi who was the captain of the football team back in there college days with a smirk plastered on his face and beside him were she assumed was his father as she already saw him in a couple of magazines like Forbes before.

 

 

“Excuse me chairman Hwang?” Seng Gi raised his hand confidently his smirk never left his face.

 

 

“Yes?” Chairman Hwang turned her attention towards him.

 

 

“I know that this is set for a long time now but it wouldn’t hurt to change the arrangement about this a bit right?”

 

 

“What do you mean?” His father and Chairman Hwang asked at the same time.

 

 

His’s gaze turned towards Yoona and his devilish smirk widened.

 

 

“I want her to be my bride instead” Swung Gi pointed straightly at Yoona as everyone turned their attention towards the shocked girl standing in front of them.

 

 

“W-what the heck B-bride?!”

 

 

“There is no way I would agree to that and I’m pretty sure that you already know that since way before” Yoona glared at the man in front of her there is no way that she would even think of marrying a guy like him plus she was already reserve for someone else, someone that she love, waiting for her dearly until she woke up.

 

 

“Oh? What a shame then…” Seung Gi replied with his trademark smirk. His eyes glinting, like telling her that he knows something that she didn’t and it irritated her so much.

 

 

“Hmm…but I won’t be so sure though If I were you…” He whispered but she surely heard it making her scoff.

 

 

“Let’s end this up tonight shall we? We are just going to go back maybe after three days to discuss everything again when everyone was a lot calmer” Seung Gi said standing up with his father.

 

 

“I think it’s a good idea Charles let’s just talk about this next time plus it’s getting late all of you should rest” Chairman Lee patted his friend’s shoulder.

 

 

“Okay I think it’s best to discuss this another time I’ll be sending you two off then” Chairman Hwang replied opening the door for the two. The three went out of the room followed by Tiffany’s mother leaving Yoona and a sobbing Tiffany alone.

 

 

“Unnie…” Yoona whispered in a calm voice while hugging her cousin.

 

 

“Y-yoongie…I…I-I don’t want to…Jessica…” Tiffany looked up tears staining her beautiful face.

 

 

“Ssshh…” Yoona cooed into her cousin’s ear. A couple minutes later her phone vibrated meaning she received a text.

 

 

-

From: Unknown

 

I forgot to tell you that if you accepted my offer your cousin will be free from this engagement.

 

P.S.

I know your current situation so wouldn’t it to be wise to do something good while you’re still ‘living’ right? So think about it, I’ll be waiting for you…

-

 

 

Yoona gulped at what she just read, she didn’t know how he knew about it because even her cousin, Tiffany who was the closest to her didn’t know. Her bubbles of thoughts were burst by her cousin’s rasped voice.

 

 

“Yoona…this may be selfish but…” Yoona trailed off and look at Yoona, both of their eyes reflecting hurt and hopelessness. Both of them didn’t talk but they perfectly knew what the other is talking about from the years of being together without keeping secrets from the other.

 

 

“I-I’ll…think about it…”Yoona answered this is the first time her older and favorite cousin asked a favor to her for all her life it was her who was always asking things and depending on the older girl. It was the older girl who protected her from everything that will hurt her. She was the first person who cared for her when she was brought in this house alone crying every night from the loss of her beloved parents, she was the only one who tried to make her smile when everyone in the house despised and avoid her, the only person who she trust and knew the real her. So Yoona promised that whatever favor her older cousin would ask of her, she would definitely do it but she didn’t expect it to be this important, this hard. She was tearing up but she held it up, she can’t cry now it’ll break down the older girl more to see her crying she needed to be strong.

 

 

“Yoong…I-I’m sorry I’m not thinking right…Don’t” Tiffany sobbed on the younger girl’s chest not knowing what to do.

 

 

“Shh.. I know…I understand…” Yoona cooed once again until the older girl fell asleep. Yoona was left alone having internal battle within her mind.

 

 

“S-should I?”

 

 

“No…”

 

 

“But what about—“

 

 

“She’ll be able to move on”

 

 

“No I love her, I can’t just do that…”

 

 

“Don’t you want that? The moment she woke up she will be able to move on with a more deserving person than you?”

 

 

“I…but she will be hurt”

 

 

“She’ll get past through that and be with a better person who will always be there for her forever… unlike you”

 

 

“I—“

 

 

“You would be living for like how long? A year? A month? A day?”

 

 

“Shut up”

 

 

Yoona didn’t know for how long she had been debating with herself when she saw her aunty enter the door.

 

 

“Is she asleep?” Yoona’s aunt whispered closing the door behind her.

 

 

“Yes aunty…” Yoona nodded before an awkward silence engulfs the two of them when her aunty sat at the chair right in front of her.

 

 

“Yoona…” Yoona’s head quickly jerked up staring at her aunty, it was the first time her aunty addressed her on her name as normally it’ll only be as ‘hey’ ’you’ or she will just avoid calling her name. Yoona opened to speak but nothing came out as happiness and bewilderment engulfed her.

 

 

“It was an arrange marriage between the two family, The Lee family are the Hwang’s last resort unless we want to really loose our company, if that happens I’m sure that your grandfather will had a heart attack…and he’s old and weak already. The Lee’s proposed for an arrange marriage between you and Seung Gi way before when all of you were still young but your grandfather decided against it saying you were still young, you were chosen by chairman Lee too to be his daughter in law but this arrangement was heard by Tiffany and said that she’s against it, saying that this will hurt you and how could we do this to you…” Yoonaa bowed her head letting her tears fall freely as she listens to her aunt’s words.

 

 

“She said that she will shoulder the responsibility when it comes to you, that she doesn’t want to see you hurt more than what you are at that time…she was always arguing with your grandfather day and night until they canceled the deal because the company is recovering. You were just 15 at that time while she just turned 16 at that time but she took the courage to argue with your grandfather that no one could ever do in this house, she was so protective of you that it made me ashamed now. She even offered to work in the company in exchange of freeing you from that deal that’s why she’s always on the states during your summer break in high school.” Her aunt’s voice was raspy indicating that she was about to cry.

 

 

“but now our company is losing a lot again, Yoona I know this is too sudden and I don’t have any rights to ask you a favor but… as a mother I can’t really watch my daughter be hurt like this so I’m asking you no—begging you please…please….” Yoona’s aunt was on the verge of crying as she spoke her forehead resting on her clasped hand as if praying hard.

 

 

“Don’t worry, aunty, I understand” Yoona couldn’t look at her aunt’s eyes. But it’s true, she understood, she was always been the understanding one. They couldn’t do anything, could they? It’s fixed and decided that even her family couldn’t do anything about it, it’s hard for her, but she’d try.

 

 

Her aunt stood up and walks towards her. She kneeled down and hugged her tightly. It was the first time her aunt hugged her, Yoona was crying and sobbing. It was the first time she got to hug her, the person that she sees as a second mom finally she now felt how a mother hugs her daughter after so many years of being alone.

 

 

“I-I’m proud to be your aunty Yoona always have but I didn’t really have the chance to show it…I’m sorry…” She whispered in her ear. It was the first time she heard that words coming from her aunt, how long she longed to hear it coming from her even once and now she’s hearing it, but what it did cost her?

 

 

Her love.

 

 

Her world.

 

 

Her happiness.

 

 

Her everything.

 

 

She’s happy…Happy but she’s crying, her heart was crying breaking slowly into millions of pieces.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Yul you know how I’ve always wanted to hug her, my aunt because she’s like the second mom for me but she would always say an excuse not to hug me or even avoid me.

 

 

It hurts.

 

 

The first time I got to hug her, the person that I see as a second mom I felt like crying as I finally felt it I felt how to be hugged by her.

 

 

And at that moment I heard your voice echoed through me.

 

 

You know things would change and hurt us whether we want it or not but we start and end with our family so you should never forget the bond you have with them. Yoongie you will become part of my family too but that’s in the future just wait for it, wait for me…

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Please come to me now

Come to me just like this

My last wish is

That one person, You

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

"Hey miss beautiful, here's your coffee made by our shop's finest Coffee beans hope you enjoy me, I mean this coffee!"

 

 

Yoona heard a high pitched manly voice behind her, a very unusual voice for a man. She assumed it was one of the shop’s waiters—a flirty new waiter, because she never heard this voice before. Yoona jerked her head with creased eyebrows annoyed and was about to give this waiter a good piece of her mind about flirting to a costumer while on work specifically if it was one of the Granddaughters of the owner of the shop when she felt a chaste kiss placed on her lips the moment she looked up.  She stared at the intruder or rather her gorgeous of a lover with wide eyes as she felt her heart beating loudly against her chest, butterflies swinging and flying around freely on her now churning stomach.

 

 

She grinned at her as she placed her palms on her burning red cheeks to cover and cool it down at the same time.

 

 

"Hi…" She said shyly despite of what she did just a while ago.

 

 

"W-what...you...here...doing?" Yoona asked with disjointed words like a true caveman and after a few seconds of realization she mentally slapped herself because of it.

 

 

She heard her chuckle as she give her one of her shy smile, embarrassed.

 

 

"If you're asking why I'm here it's because this is my new part time job from now on..."

 

 

"R-really?"

 

 

"Yup!"

 

 

"B-but why here?" Yoona stuttered again earning a chuckle again from the love of her life.

 

 

"Why? hmm...so I can see you every time and work at the same time? You always go here without me..." she answered thoughtfully with a pout adorning her face.

 

 

"So you decided to apply here just so we could be together even when working?" Yoona asked again unable to believe that this girl in front of her that is hers is this hopelessly in love with her as she was to her.

 

 

"Err...Yes?" She answered sheepishly.

 

 

"Really?" Yoona said happily with a wide smile on her face clearly happy.

 

 

She nodded.

 

 

"When I was working part time you you're always telling me about this place plus this is your favorite cafe right?" She asked glancing at the counter from time to time to not be caught by her manager.

 

 

"Right but baby..." Yoona said and looked into her beautiful eyes when she looked at her, she got lost in her eyes forgetting what she was about to say to her and by the way she's looking at her, she knows that they feel the same.

 

 

They stared for a good minute or two, or must be longer than that as she already heard the manager that suddenly appeared in front of their table scolding him.

 

 

"Ms.Kwon Yuri! This is your first day and you're already flirting with the—" He turned to Yoona with wide eyes obviously surprised.

 

 

"Ah Miss Im...I apologize for my loud voice..." The manager bowed in front of Yoona and looked questioningly between the two of them.

 

 

Yoona just nodded like a matured person before she vaguely saw Yuri's amazed expression again on her peripheral vision, after all this is not the first time she saw her act like this as she already saw her acting like this when they entered the ski - hotel at their school trip, every worker on that building greeted Yoona with high respect.

 

 

"It's just that Miss Kwon here is still on her working time so..." The manager trailed off as he saw Yoona held her hand signaling him to stop.

 

 

"So she'll stay here with me as I requestedher so go now"

 

 

"B-but miss, your Uncle is going to be here today for the weekly checking miss..." He stuttered out surprising Yoona.

 

 

"Uncle...uncle? Wait, Ba—Yoong you own this place too? Is that why—" Yuri asked surprised.

 

 

"Yes and No I don’t, my family owns it, it’s more like Tiffany’s unnie’s not mine but...wait, it’s not Saturday today why is he going to be here?" Yoona asked as normally as she could but the truth is she was already panicking inside as her uncle doesn't know anything about her relationship with Yuri yet.

 

 

“This’ll be trouble”

 

 

"The schedule had change yesterday miss" He answered respectfully then after a few seconds They heard a deep voice greeting them from behind, Yoona bit her lip nervously knowing it was her uncle while praying to god that he wouldn't do anything to Yuri if he suddenly found out about the two of them.

 

“After all he accepted Jessica unnie for Tiffany unnie when they’ve been found out by him but that’s because Jessica unnie is the heir of Jung corp. but Yul is hardworking, goergous and—”

 

 

“Yoona”

 

 

"Hi Uncle" Yoona stood up and bowed to the said man.

 

 

"Now, now no need to be so formal Yoona" Yoona’s Uncle said as he patted her head.

 

 

"What are you doing here by the way?" he added.

 

 

"I was just talking to manager Han and having coffee…" Yoona replied smiling a bit to avoid suspicion. She knows how nosy her uncle can be.

 

 

"Ah manager Han..." He said and his eye caught Yuri who is now standing too close to Yoona to not be acquainted to the girl in his opinion.

 

 

"And who's this?" He said gesturing his right hand towards Yuri while eyeing her intently.

 

 

"Our new part time waiter Sir her name is Kwon Yuri" Manager Han replied and Yoona took a mental note to thank him later for not mentioning about what transpire between her and Yuri earlier.

 

 

"Oh since when?"

 

 

"It's her first day today sir, Yuri say Hello to Mr. Hwang he is our director"

 

 

"Yes sir, Hello Mr. Hwang I'm Kwon Yuri it's nice meeting you Sir" Yuri bowed with respect.

 

 

"I'm Hwang Eric" My uncle just nodded with a straight face then turned to face me.

 

 

"Yoona my niece is she somehow close to you? I saw her sitting with you, you know" Eric asked with a suspicious smile but Yoona refused to give in and  kept a straight face despite feeling her heart pounding loudly on her chest afraid that he would found out and do something unjust to her.

 

 

"Yes, She’s my...close friend" Yoona answered hesitantly while looking at her with apologizing eyes hoping she would get it and right there she saw the flick of hurt in her eyes that she swears that she doesn’t ever want to see again.

 

 

“Yul…”

 

 

"Oh I see..." Eric replied as Yoona forced herself to look at her uncle and not to Yuriss hurt orbs.

 

 

“Ah screw it”

 

 

"But uncle you know why she's really close to me?" Yoona gave Yuri a smile, and put her arm around hers.

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

“It’s because she’s my girlfriend, my lover”

 

 

“W-what?”

 

 

"This is my lover Kwon Yuri, say Hi to him baby!"

 

 

Yuri’s hand entwined with Yoona’s as they smiled at each other and at that moment there was nothing but happiness could be seen.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

They say that the eyes are the window of one's soul. I guess it's really true because at that time when I looked at her eyes I clearly see the hurt but that hurt vanishes in an instant turning into happiness—a bliss when I decided to stood up for the two of us.

 

I don’t know about the future, Yul but all I want to have is you, to see you smiling as I count every sunrise that you and I will be seeing together.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

To you, I'm a small person

Just someone you know

That's it for me, That's enough

Just the reason of love

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

It was the states championship game.

 

 

Yuri’s team won and was awarded as the Champion of that year’s competition. Everyone was celebrating and the players are running around waving their jerseys up in the air for winning the championship.

 

 

“C’mon let's take a picture of you two!” Jessica said after Tiffany and her took a picture together.

 

 

“Yeah!” Yuri was ecstatic his adrenaline still pumping from the goal she scored earlier for their team to won.

 

 

“Oh okay…” Yoona said holding Yuri’s arm on her shoulder.

 

 

“Smile! 3,2—”

 

 

Everything got blurry and the noise around them was muted as Yoona quickly turned her head and pouted at the side of Yuris cheeks kissing her lovingly on her cheek while Yuri though appeared a bit surprised let out a mega-watt smile.

 

~~~~~~~~~

We still love each other, the words that we can’t speak, how much we love even if we weren’t to say it all in one go.

 

 

How could I ruin the one and only thing that’s been good and wonderful in my life?

 

 

Will our love just end like this? It seems like it’s really the end for the both of us now.

 

 

Can’t we just turn back the time and just stop it even for a day when we’re together?

 

 

Yul I’ll miss you, my whole life.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The one person who can't see me though I am looking

The one person who can't hear me though I am calling

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

A lot of beeping was echoing throughout the white room where a young woman was lying in a bed covered in white sheets with cords and tubes from different hospital apparatus were connected on different parts of his body.

 

 

“Yul How are you?” Yoona took a seat at the chair beside the bed.

 

 

“I hope you’re dreaming of me…of us together” Yoona whispered when she saw the little smile that is etched on Yuri’s pale face.

 

 

“Yul…I hope you will forgive me…”

 

 

“Yul…Yull…Yul…Yul…Yul…Please…” Yoona chanted his name over and over again like a mantra with her eyes closed willing herself to be strong.

 

 

“Yuri I love you….” Yoona whispered as a tear landed on Yuri’s face and many more fell unto her face when Yoona kissed her for the last time before she turned around to leave.

 

 

Yoona walked into her grandfather’s office like a soulless body.

 

 

“Yoona?”

 

 

Yoona nodded as she walked towards her grandfather’s table with soulless eyes.

 

 

She smiled bitterly.

 

 

“This is it then…”

 

“So have you decided? Seung Gi had clearly told me that if it wasn’t you that he’ll be marrying then he wouldn’t agree to it, that we will eventually need to lose the company so Yoona…”

 

 

“Grandpa before I tell you my answer would you please listen to me?” Yoona said still standing in front of her Grandfather who was sitting at his office table.

 

 

“Sure, what is it?” Chairman Hwang looked up to see her granddaughter with a sad smile and swollen eyes obviously form crying.

 

 

“All my life, in my entire 25 years of life, I’ve been such a good and obedient granddaughter to you. I-I tried my best to be a granddaughter that you would be proud of all the time. All my life, I never asked for more than to see you face to face like now and hugged you I was so happy when you even congratulated me for an award or graduating even if you didn’t message me back”

 

 

Yoona took a deep breath calming her-self holding back her tears as much as possible.

 

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever done any big mistake that would cause you to hate me or to trouble you, None until maybe four years ago, Me, Im Yoona, your granddaughter, I… fell… in love… with someone…a girl named Kwon Yuri…”

 

 

“I still love that person now as deep as how it has been then, I think the love she gives to me was more than enough, more than what I even deserve, more than the one I had always needed from you, my family and friends”

 

 

Yoona quickly wiped the tears that escaped her eyes, she didn’t know what she’s talking about anymore but she feels that she needed to tell it to him.

 

 

“I…all these years…I have been living in a fake mask, a façade. Until one time, she miraculously appeared in front of my eyes. She was there, laughing and not caring for anything, not even her reputation even if she was one of the top popular in our school”

 

 

“I—I thought that she’s stupid but it intrigued me how can she smile like that, I was amazed it was so genuine and wonderful, Then I began to watch her day by day, she’s an angel, She had bright and colorful chocolate colored eyes, she has a very cute nose and earlobes, she has that kind of husky voice, and silky hair that feels and smells so good and other characteristics that will surely make you insecure even me”

 

 

“I thought that maybe she’s one of the son of a wealthy family that she’s living in a comfortable life without hardships that’s why she’s like that but you know what? I watched her jump from a part time job towards another just to get by in life, You have no idea how surprised I was at that time…”

 

 

“One time not knowing that my action will cause so much scars in her heart I hurt her but you know what? She still forgave me and told me she will always love me because she’s the type of person that would forgive me for something terrible like what I was about to do now, compared to others that wouldn’t”

 

 

Yoona can’t hold herself anymore so she sobbed her tears flowing down her cheeks like an endless river but she composed herself to continue whatever she’s saying.

 

 

“Back then, I never knew that that person…she…would become such an important person to me, but you know? She was the one who taught me about happiness and clarity, she taught me about warmth and sharing, about having my best in life, she taught me…She taught me to love…”

 

 

“I…want to live happily with her you know… She promised me that she would love me till forever and honestly I don’t think forever exist but those words coming from her, I had clung into her words, even after she was in coma now after a car accident a few years ago”

 

 

“I swear that all I ever wanted was to be by her side, I want to be her comfort when she faces sorrow. I want to be her pillar of strength, I want to be the love of her life but now....I won’t be able to do those because I will be the one who will be her nightmare and destroyer”

 

 

“N-now…I-I’ll let her go... I’ll let Yuri go for this and let her be with someone that would fit her best and make her happy”

 

 

“So please…chairman—Grandpa…please let all of this be worth it… and please take care of her just in case—“ Yoona didn’t even had the chance to say the next words that she wants to say as she collapsed on the floor sobbing hard on her hands.

 

 

“I know…I know…I’m sorry that you have to go through this Yoona…I’m really sorry…” Chairman Hwang stood up from his seat and quickly hugged her granddaughter who was sobbing uncontrollably.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Yul I’m tired of crying, will I be happy to live without you by my side? A selfish part within me wants me to tell you to wait for me even to an unknown endless wait of time where we can finally be together.

 

 

But Yul even if we’re going to be apart from each other, I know…

 

 

I know my feelings for you won’t ever change.

 

 

Never.

 

 

Yuri I love you…

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Do you even remember me?

Do you even think of me?

Just once, please

That one person, You

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

It was a bright day.

 

 

Yuri and Yoona was grinning from ear to ear, smiling as if there were no tomorrow a smile that out-shined even the brightest day in summer like today.

 

 

"Paparapapa I have a date~ I have a date!" Yuri's face showed a cheeky smile while singing a random tune.

 

 

"Damn it’s so hooot" Yoona whined.

 

 

"Well it’s your fault anyway so deal with it…”

 

 

“Yah! How is it my fault?” Yoona questioned whining again.

 

 

“Because you’re hot hehe..." Yuri grinned then kissed Yoona on the cheeks as the latter visibly blushed.

 

 

"Pssh! Anyway what are we going to watch?" Yoonaa tried to change the subject and covered her cheeks with her free hand to hide her visible blush.

 

 

"Surprise~" Yuri said playfully and winked at Yoona.

 

 

“Fine” Yoona replied pouting.

 

 

The couple was waiting in the line since forever when Yoona  felt Yuri poked her sides to earn her attention at the same time making Yoona quiver. She looked up about to hit Yuri’s shoulder but stopped when she saw the grin that is etched on the young woman’s face.

 

 

"What is it?" Yoona asked creasing her eyebrows because she knows that her grinning girlfriend is up to something based on the etched grin on her lovely face.

 

"You're bored?" Yuri asked still wearing that grin of mischief on her face.

 

 

"No? But maybe?" Yoona answered hesitantly trying to figure out what is on her girlfriend’s mind, she watched Yuri breathe in deeply and suddenly she sang earning the two of them some weird looks from the other people on the line.

 

 

Yuri kissed each of Yoona’s fingers then sang again attracting a lot of attention from the other people on the line.

♪♫

"It’s her hair and her eyes today

That just simply takes me away

And the feeling that I’m falling further in love

Makes me shiver but in a good way

All the times I have sat and stared

As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair

And she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,

With me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say

Coz I love her with all that I am

And my voice shakes along with my hands

Cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea

But I’d rather be here than on land

Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need—"

♪♫

 

"Yul!" Yoona covered Yuri’s mouth using her right hand stopping the girl from singing any further.

 

 

"What?" Yuri removed Yoona’s hands from .

 

 

"Stop it people are looking!" Yoona said though the smile that is forming on her face said the otherwise.

 

 

"I don't want too~ plus let them look they're just jealous that I ‘am singing to my pretty girlfriend!" Yuri opened Yoona’s hands and slowly entwined each of their fingers together.

 

 

Yoona became speechless and just blushed at Yuri’s choice of words.

 

 

Yuri took this as a cue then kissed each of Yoona’s fingers before singing again attracting a lot of attention and gushing from the other people on the line again.

 

 

"I should be embarrassed right now because of the look that the other people are giving us but I didn't felt it...cause there is only one thing I felt now and that is happiness, Thank you, I love you Yul…” Yoona whispered to Yuri’s ear before kissing her to shut her up.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Every Kiss with you is a heart-quake to my heart.

 

 

Yul, My feelings for you is so strong that I know it’ll never end even after death gets me.

 

 

But why can’t we just love freely?

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

You are my love

My heart can't let you go

Just as much as I love you

Each minute and each second hurts so much

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Tears stream down into her face as those memories play around her mind like a movie.

 

 

“My feelings are so messed up”

 

 

“Yoona?” A well-known questioning voice asked her. She froze and stopped sobbing contemplating if the voice she heard was indeed real.

 

 

“Yoong?” the voice asked again. Slowly Yoona lifted her head squinting her eyes as the sun momentarily blinded her eyes and a silhouette. She lifted her right hand over her eyes to block the sun’s rays and there she saw her, looking down at her with a smile. Her mind went blank, Her heart was trembling, She wanted to hug her and cry in her embrace.

 

 

“Yuri?” Yoona asked unable to believe what she’s seeing.

 

 

“Yeah…” Yuri replied obviously surprised at tear stained face of Yoona. She lifted her hand and placed it into Yoona’s cheek as Yoona closed her eyes enjoying the warmth of Yuri’s hand. Then she felt a thumb gently grace into her cheek removing the trail of the tears left on her cheek. Yoona opened her eyes seeing a smiling Yuri looking worriedly at her then after a few seconds it suddenly dawned on her that she was crying in front of Yuri. She pulled away from the hand that’s giving her comfort though She was a bit disappointed at the loss of his warmth, she had to do it nonetheless. She hastily wiped her tears and turned to Yuri smiling the best smile she could muster.

 

 

“Why—What are you doing here?” Yoona asked.

 

 

“Me? Aah I’m just trying to drive again and decided to take a stroll in here then I saw you…I was standing in front of you for a while now but it seems that you’re…distracted” Yuri answered as she pointed to the way she just came through, Why didn’t notice before?

 

 

“So…what happened? Your eyes…it’s very red” Yuri’s voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned her head to look at her and internally panicked.

 

 

“What if she’s going to ask why I’m crying? Stupid Yoona …why do you have to run out here where she is? But I didn’t know that she’s going to be here. Is it fate deciding for us? Wait no—“

 

 

“Do you want to walk around for a while?” Yuri offered seeing the look of distraught on Yoona face. Yoona blinked a few times processing what Yuri just said and then she smiled and chuckled a bit. It was like the old times where Yuri would know when she doesn’t want to answer or talk. She would just sit there in silence with her head on her shoulder looking up the clouds or sometimes just like this time she would ask if she wants to walk around for a date and eventually she will be able to open up and tell her what’s bothering her.

 

 

“Why are you laughing?” Yuri asked with a smile.

 

 

“I miss that smile…”  Yoona shook her head and smiled back.

 

 

“No? You don’t want to?” Yuri asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

 

“No! I want to” Yoona answered not so quickly and then froze. She opened but nothing came out.

 

 

“Just kidding” Yuri laughed breaking the awkward atmosphere between them.

 

 

“I miss that laugh…”

 

 

“Okaay! Let’s go then?” Yuri stood up and extended her hand for Yoona to reach.

 

 

“Okay” Yoona reached out and held her hand standing up suddenly causing for them to stumble a bit with Yuri’s hand wrapped around Yoona’s waist securely. She gulped as she stared at those eyes their faces in a close proximity. Yuri raised her hand and Yoona quickly felt her heart beat quicken. She curled her hands in front of Yoona’s face.

 

 

“Dissappear…” Yuri breathed out the words and released her fingers one by one gesturing a circle.

 

 

Yoona blinked remembering the exact same gesture that they always do to each other when they fought on some things in the past.

 

 

“There, were ready let’s go!” Yuri announced happily and grabbed Yoona’s hands leading the spacing out girl.

 

 

“Yul…you still…remember everything right?” stupid…why do you chose to remember all of it when you will be hurt? Why do you choose to be here with me and cheer me up instead of walking away from here leaving me alone for you to move on? Why?”

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

I was selfish and guilty for even thinking of telling you to wait for me even if it takes an endless forever though I didn’t say it to you because this is your life, it isn’t something I should be manipulating and telling you what to do, But also because I knew, even without me saying that line, your heart will be forever mine, just how like my heart is forever yours.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

That one person who appears even when I close my eyes

The person who is next to me even in my dreams

Do you even remember me?

Do you even think of me?

I miss you, please

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Yoona and Yuri decided to eat on a restaurant after going to the arcade and malls, eating ice cream, chocolates and cotton candy it was getting late after all.

 

 

“I want to eat this and this and this one please! Oh wait I want this too…” Yuri said childishly pointing into different food into the menu as the waiter was frantically writing everything he pointed out in the menu like what she did earlier. Yoona laughed seeing this, with Yuri’s childish face and action she’s still the same as before she didn’t change. You wouldn’t know that her heart had been through so much since she woke up, and that’s all because of her.

 

 

“How about you ma’am would you like to add anything?” the waiter asked surprising Yoona she was so busy staring at her that she didn’t notice that she was done ordering.

 

 

“No I won’t add anything thank you” Yoona said.

 

 

“You haven’t change, still so formal eh?” Yuri asked with her head resting on her two entwined hands.

 

 

“Yes, no, maybe?” Yoona just shrugged and smiled looking at everything beside the woman in front of her aware of her eyes on her. It wasn’t because of the feeling of awkwardness that she’s averting her eyes from her but because of the growing feeling that is stirring inside her every time their eyes met making her heart beat faster as butterfly flew around her stomach.

 

 

“Definitely not” Yuri answered still staring.

 

 

“Would you stop staring?” Yoona asked blocking Yuri’s vision of her with her hand.

 

 

“Whyyyy? Embarrassed?” Yuri said playfully as she avoids every attempt of Yoona’s hand to block his view of her.

 

 

“N-no why would I?” Yoona said looking away pink visibly crept up into her cheeks as both of her hands were caught by Yuri’s hand.

 

“Haha alright alright if you say so!” Yuri stood up and released Yoona’s hands.

 

 

“Where are you going?”

 

 

“Restroom, Oh and You’re more welcome to join if you want to” Yuri answered and winked.

 

 

“No way you !” Yoona’s face blushed, her hand about to hit Yuri but the latter run away as fast as she can away from her sight.

 

 

“Yul…how can you be this carefree again with me? I betrayed and hurt you yet here you are… I’m not really worthy of you… How can a person like you exist? I wish—”

 

 

Yoona was staring outside when she felt Yuri’s presence showing the girl have returned.

 

 

“What are you thinking?” Yuri asked.

 

 

“I’m thinking about you...”

 

 

“I’m thinking about someone…” Yoona replied smiling in sadness.

 

 

“Me? Is it me?” Yuri smiled playfully and pointed to herself.

 

 

“Yes you…”

 

 

“Aish you’re so full of yourself! Why would I do that?”

 

 

“Cause you’re like a miracle in my life…”

 

 

“Because you’re falling in love with this gorgeous and awesome person in front of you again?” Yuri suggested playfully pointing her thumb to her self again while wriggling her eyebrows weirdly.

 

 

“I never fall out of love with you though…”

 

 

Yoona laughed at his antics it’s the first time she laughed like this after what happened.

 

 

“Here’s your food Sir Ma’am and this is a free for our customers who are a couple” The waiter came with their orders and a small black box with him.

 

 

Yoona blinked a few times at what she heard. It’s been a while since she heard that words directed to them and it actually feels good, to be called as a ‘couple’ again.

 

 

“Oh! Thank you sir! What a nice restaurant this is we’ll make sure to take care of it!” Yuri said accepting the box.

 

 

“What is it?” Yoona asked as she curiously stared at the box.

 

 

“Oh? Let’s see…” Yuri said and opened the box revealing a two silver ring with beautiful diamond intricate patterns.

 

 

“Wow…it’s so beautiful” Yoona said amazed.

 

 

“It is…I bet it would look good on you would you mind if I put it in your finger?” Yuri asked sounding a bit weirdly nervous.

 

 

“Okay” Yoona nodded and relaxed her hand.

 

 

Yuri held her hand.

 

 

Dugen.

 

 

Yuri touched her ring finger.

 

 

Dugen.

 

 

Yuri slide the ring on her finger.

 

 

Dugen.

 

 

Yuri smiled and stared at her.

 

 

Dugen.

 

 

“Of course it looks good on you as expected” Yuri said with a distant smile as Yoona could only blankly stare at her with her heart beating wildly against her chest that it’s getting harder to breath each second that passed.

 

 

“Yoong?”  Yoona placed her ringed hand against her chest clutching it softly hoping it would calm her racing heart.

 

 

“Of course it would look good on me” Yoona smirked despite the wild feeling of her beating heart.

 

 

“Tsk! and of course I’m lying” Yuri said and smirked.

 

 

“Yah!” Yoona hit her shoulder.

 

 

“Hahah just kidding, kidding!” Yuri heard that rich laughter of hers again causing her to smile.

 

 

“Whatever, but I’ll put this other one on you” Yoona said and held Yuri’s hand causing for her to visibly tense. Yoona quickly put it on her finger and let go smiling.

 

 

“There!” Yoona announced as she smiled and looked up at a Yuri who’s watching her intently. Their face in a close proximity again her stomach felt like a thousand butterflies and insects were flying around it, she can hardly breathe.

 

 

“I want to Ki—No! No no no! You shouldn’t! You’ll hurt her even more! It’ll be hard for her”

 

 

Yoona cleared and looked away. She pushed Yuri’s body away with her index finger. She noticed an upset expression crossed her face and eyes before going back to the normal smiling one.

 

 

“This is bad I’m losing control again…This shouldn’t be happening…I will…hurt her more if I do this…”

 

 

“I-I think we should eat now” Yuri stuttered.

 

 

“Y-yeah…”

 

 

“I’m really sorry…I’m so sorry Yul…”

 

 

The mixture of guilt, pain and love is eating her up.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

 

I was happy, so happy to be with her, to be with the only person who could make me smile in an instant and forget everything else.

 

 

But being with me Yul, you’re hurting yourself...No, we are both hurting ourselves. My heart hurts…It hurts that I’m the cause of your pain but it’ll be better for the both of us...for you.

 

 

I can’t help but think how can such a person exist? How can a person like you exist?  How can you make me feel so comfortable and calm? How can you make me forget the pain, the sadness and the problems that I’m thinking in an instant without even saying a single word? It was like I was complete again as I stared at you, because with just a simple smile from you were the entireness of my world.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The only thing I can do is cry but

Like a fool, I am waiting

Please come to me now

Come to me Just like this

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Yoona and Yuri were walking side by side beside a river it was already night time. They were not talking but the silence is comfortable for the both of them. They saw an available bench and sat on it resting while watching at the breath taking scenery in front of them.

 

 

They sat in there beside each other close enough for their shoulder to touch but not touching because maybe they both know that they are running out of time now, that the time they have together until this moment is going to end. Nevertheless both of them were silently wishing that they could still have some time to spend together, that the magic for the two of them would not end this soon.

 

 

A lone beep was heard and with just a sound, that sound signaled that their time is up. Yoona checked her phone.

 

-

From: ♥

0xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

I’m at your house right now. Where are you? It’s late already head back home my chauffer will be there to pick you up text me your location.

-

-

To: ♥

 

You don’t need to I’ll head back home myself.

-

-

From: ♥

0xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

No it’s late. My chauffer will pick you up. He’ll be there in a few I got your location now on the GPS on your phone.

-

 

Yoona gripped her phone and clenched her jaw.

 

 

“Can’t he just let me be for once?” Yoona thought, she’s Irritated.

 

 

Yoona stared at the beautiful night view of the river in front of them for a few minutes memorizing it. She wants to look at the person beside her but decided against it as it’ll be troublesome for her. She thought that she won’t be able to handle herself if she’ll look at her face to face especially at the close proximity they had in.

 

 

“Yul…Yuri…” Yoona said slowly as the said woman tilted her head slightly. She knows she had a fair clue as to what she is going to say because her face fell into a bit sad and upset expression before going back to the smiling Yuri earlier on.

 

 

“I…think…it’s time to go back now…” Yoona said as normally as she can manage with her trembling heart.

 

 

“Hmm? It’s time already?” Yuri replied smiling a sad smile while looking out at the magnificent view in front of them.

 

 

“Yes” Yoona bit her lower lip.

 

 

Yuri nodded and looked at Yoona but Yoona looked down quickly avoiding her eyes.

 

 

“Okay…Time always flies when I’m with you” Yuri looked away from her to the beautiful view in front of them then she stretched her arms and simply stood up as if showing that she’s okay and not affected by it when they both know that it’s the opposite of what she’s really feeling.

 

 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom right now I think it will take around 15 minutes for me to get back here” She held my hand and I felt her warmth tempting me more to just forget everything and be with her again.

 

 

“Forgive me for dragging you out here… I just wanted to be with you right now…I thought that it will be me last chance to be with you and before…” Yuri trailed off.

 

 

Yoona stayed quiet looking at the view in front of them clearly aware of what Yuri’s talking about.

 

 

“If you’re not here when I get back I guess this will really be the last time for the both of us even as friends after tomorrow…” Yuri said her voice speaks the pain inside her. He tilted Yoona’s chin using her free hand for her to look and face her.

 

 

They stared at each other looking at each other’s eyes. Yoona saw her eyes, her face, and her expression. It caused Yoona to tear up but she held it, she didn’t speak a word but the way she looks at her speaks so much.

 

 

“I really hope that you’ll still be here when I get back here though cause maybe, maybe I can tell it to you…” she whispered but Yoona heard it clearly. She once again looked at her eyes that are full of hurt and hope. It was painful to see her like this, to see those eyes looking at her like that.

 

 

Yuri slowly let go of Yoona’s hand as she stepped away from her. Yoona wanted to hold her hand but she know that holding into it will make another reason for her to fight and stay, to be hurt. So slowly, slowly, she slowly let go of her hand feeling the warmth slowly diminishing as their hands parted. She watched her walked away from her. She thought that it was finally over, that she already gave up but suddenly she stopped and turned around. Yuri stood on where he is standing not moving an inch and looked directly at her eyes. She looked like a child who is trying really, really hard to not make her tears fall.

 

 

“I love you” Yoona said curling her hands into tight fists on her pants until it turned white. She quickly ran into her and hugged her tightly, forgetting the barriers that she had built to hold herself back from going back to her arms, to her warmth, to her heart, to her.

 

 

“Yul…Kiss me…please kiss me as if it were the last time” Yoona asked while her tears are threatening to fall out of her eyes like hers.

 

 

Yuri’s teary eyes stared at Yoona’s brown orbs as if not believing at what she just heard but then she cupped Yoona’s face with her hand and leaned in, she closed her eyes. She was frozen on the spot anticipating what is going to happen. Their lips finally met and it paralyzed her, Yuri is kissing her deeply and she felt electricity running through her body as she felt her hope, longing and love into the kiss. Yuri’s mouth moved on hers that overwhelmed all of her senses. The taste of her lips on hers is so addictive, intoxicating and warm it felt so good.

 

 

Too good to be explained through words.

 

 

Yuri pulled Yoona closer as her hand settled on her waist while her other hand remained on her cheek. The way she savored her lips was so heavenly and ethereal, she couldn’t even imagined this kind of kiss would happen in her life again after all this time. The kiss that she always saw in the romantic dramas that she likes, that kind of kiss that could show the person you love how much you mean to them without saying or explaining a thing, An action that can always speak louder than words, The kind of kiss that can only be given by that one person, her.  It was a passionate and longing kiss, a kiss you gave to the person you love after years of being separated. After a few seconds Yoona felt something hot dropping unto her cheeks slowly she opened her eyes and saw that it was Yuri’s tears mixing with hers making her cry more. Eventually they slowly pulled away breathless, Tears freely fell down on both of their cheeks as they both heave for air that are needed by their lungs. Their forehead touched her eyes were still closed.

 

 

“Please…please be happy baby…Yul…” Yoona whispered.

 

 

“Yoong…” Yuri called out.

 

Yoona touched Yuri’s cheeks with both of her hands removing the tears with her thumbs. Yuri opened her eyes staring right at Yoona’s eyes. Yoona saw unmistakable sadness and pain in Yuri’s eyes before she felt Yuri’s hands removing her hands on her cheeks and placed both of her hands inside of her pants pocket.

 

 

Smiling bitterly Yoona stepped two steps back wards away from Yoona with tears staining her stunning face.

 

 

“I think…this is really it then…” Yuri rasped out, her heart clenched tightly against her chest.

 

 

Yoona just stood there watching her unable to say anything as tears continuously rolling down her already tear stained cheeks, with only tears that are projecting the words that can’t manage to say.

 

 

“But I love you…always…You’re my first and only one, forever” Yuri said while crying, the way she said it, it was so painful and it broke her heart again into millions of pieces if it was still even possible for it to be broken than it already was.

 

 

She let out a sad smile for the last time before turning around and she just stood there watching her leave.

 

 

Yuri started to walk away.

 

 

“My happiness is about to go away from me again”

 

 

6 Steps.

 

 

“Damn it. I…”

 

 

7 Steps.

 

 

Yoona wanted to shout this love inside her towards her but how could she?

 

 

8 Steps.

 

 

Her brain is telling her to back off from her, but her heart couldn’t agree and accept it.

 

 

9 Steps.

 

 

Yoona tried to reach out to her but it was already too late she’s gone.

 

 

Yuri walked away.

 

 

Right then she felt so fragile and cold. Her heart, her body, and her hands, it all felt cold.

 

 

She felt so tired ready to collapse on the snowy ground.

 

 

“Yuri…please…please come back”

 

 

“Don’t leave my side please…”

 

 

That one person who was causing her to both cry and smile.

 

 

That one person who caught her attention.

 

 

That one person she always looked forward to see.

 

 

That one person she allowed to hold her hand and heart.

 

 

That one person she allowed to be her first kiss.

 

 

That one person who always makes her heart skipped.

 

 

 That one person who her heart belongs to.

 

 

That one person she'll ever love.

 

 

That one person she misses each minute and each second.

 

 

That one person she wants to hold and hug.

 

 

That person she wants to see smiling.

 

 

That one person who she had hurt.

 

 

That one person, You.

 

 

 I want you.

 

 

I miss you always.

 

 

I love you, Only you.

 

 

That one person, You Kwon Yuri.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Timing…it is more important than being ready because once the timing is gone you will never have a chance to get it back, After all it’s not every day that you will be given a second chance.

 

 

Yul I never thought I would need to see you walking away from me crying but Yul when you walked away I counted each step you take, hoping you would turn around and hugged me, saying everything doesn’t matter, and what really important is our never ending love to each other.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

My last wish is...

That one person, You.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Yoona’s heart is in so much pain, It hurts letting you go. It hurts so much seeing you cry. It hurts to know that the cause of her pain is her.

 

It hurts…

 

 

Scrambling to her own two feet she walked pass the people with her head down. Her hands trembling along with her heart shaking in pain as tears uncontrollably stream down her face.

 

 

How Yoona wished for her to just to hug her really tight, and make the time stopped. Erase everything painful from them and have a happily ever after.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Yoona curled up on her room crying more than she did on the past.

 

 

This night she lost her sky, her star, her light.

 

 

She lost her Yul…

 

 

Yuri’s face appears on her mind. Her smile, her eyes, her laugh, her lips, the way they kissed, how it tasted, how much happy ahe made her, how much she loves her.

 

 

Yul…Yul...Yul…I’m sorry…I love you…

 

~~~~~~~~~

Even though we love each other to the point of dying when we're apart, my love, it seems that this love that we have will end after all…

~~~~~~~~~